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Sensual D/s - 9/17/2008 2:22:28 AM   
MischiefSF


Posts: 17
Joined: 11/4/2005
Status: offline 		Way under-rated as far as I am concerned.  But then again, it's my favorite.  It seems generally from my experience that in the BDSM community there is a skew towards Sadomasochism and flashy bondage.  Prove me wrong and shout out for sensual D/s!!
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RE: Sensual D/s - 9/17/2008 2:38:04 AM   
Sunnyfey


Posts: 1436
Joined: 9/21/2007
From: OK
Status: offline 		whats sensual for you may not be sensual for everyone else, what sensual dominance to you may be boring to others. Frankly I think cutting is very sensual, bondage even that "flashy" stuff is extreamly sensual, as with flogging and such like. there been no death of sensual D/s, its not even under the weather. besides pokeing me with a feather and tieing me up with silk only means i get itchy and ruin a good scarf.

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RE: Sensual D/s - 9/17/2008 2:56:01 AM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline 		I don’t see where they are mutually exclusive.  S+M is sometimes referred to as sensation play; I can’t speak for anyone else but I find a good whipping/caning/flogging to be quite sensual.  The same holds true for bondage;  the texture of rope, the smell of leather, the bite of metal are all physically arousing to me. 
I have also been the happy ‘victim’ of sensual torture, all he used was a piece of silk cloth. 
R. juxtaposes tender massaging touch with the sting of whatever instrument he is using at the time; when that is done I get to touch him, kiss him, from head to toe. S. is not quite as touchy/feely, but he often takes me to dinner and I find great food and drink and lively conversation to be sensual also.  There is something very sexual about sharing a dessert while I’m still feeling floaty from sub-space!
It’s all intensely corporeal for me. 

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"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to MischiefSF)
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RE: Sensual D/s - 9/17/2008 3:01:39 AM   
HalloweenWhite


Posts: 1028
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MischiefSF

Way under-rated as far as I am concerned.  But then again, it's my favorite.  It seems generally from my experience that in the BDSM community there is a skew towards Sadomasochism and flashy bondage.  Prove me wrong and shout out for sensual D/s!!


Personally I find pony play very, very sensual. O/other won't, but as the saying goes "it takes all sorts". Horses for courses and all that (no pun intended).

(in reply to MischiefSF)
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RE: Sensual D/s - 9/17/2008 3:28:37 AM   
pompeii


Posts: 934
Joined: 1/4/2007
From: Silicon Valley, San Jose, California
Status: offline 		Sensual D/s, I define, as BDSM only in the boudoir as a form of foreplay, generally timed to precede mutual orgasm and likely disappearing as soon as the bedroom door is opened to the outside world. The opposite, in my definition, of sensual D/s would be 24/7 lifestyle D/s play.

(in reply to HalloweenWhite)
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RE: Sensual D/s - 9/17/2008 3:55:35 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MischiefSF

Way under-rated as far as I am concerned.  But then again, it's my favorite.  It seems generally from my experience that in the BDSM community there is a skew towards Sadomasochism and flashy bondage.  Prove me wrong and shout out for sensual D/s!!


The problem you are going to encounter, Mischief, is that unless you define what you mean by sensual D/s, you are going to come up against the usual.  I am going to take a guess from your statement that you are speaking of non BDSM practises(well duh).  Yeah they rock.  But then pretty much all that Darcy and I create together does, because we commit them together and for each other and because we rock at what we do.
 
I believe that anything can be sensual providing you are in relationship(s) with someone compatable.
 
the.dark.

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RE: Sensual D/s - 9/17/2008 4:10:45 AM   
eyesopened


Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline 		First munch I ever attended the subbies were all gushing about pain this hurt that pain pain pain to the point where I wondered if that was all there was, was there a place for me, someone who is not a masochist.  When I found a play partner I discovered that in the normal course of things, many other sensations were offered.  Hot, cold, hard, soft, easy, intense, thud, sting, sweet, sour.  It encompassed sight, sound, smell and taste, not just tactile sensations.  Pain and torture is more interesting to talk about than bunny fur and hot wax, but that doesn't mean sensual D/s is underrated.  I would suspect most couples include some sensual play as part of their overall repertoire.

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(in reply to MischiefSF)
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RE: Sensual D/s - 9/17/2008 6:27:59 AM   
chamberqueen


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline 		I found the post amusing because I often have people ask me why so much of BDSM seems based on sex.  My personal preference is mental play when I am working with a sub.  The wonderful thing about it is that the people in each relationship can choose what is most pleasing and fulfilling to them.

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RE: Sensual D/s - 9/17/2008 6:32:39 AM   
natasha66


Posts: 321
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: NJ
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: eyesopened

First munch I ever attended the subbies were all gushing about pain this hurt that pain pain pain to the point where I wondered if that was all there was, was there a place for me, someone who is not a masochist.  When I found a play partner I discovered that in the normal course of things, many other sensations were offered.  Hot, cold, hard, soft, easy, intense, thud, sting, sweet, sour.  It encompassed sight, sound, smell and taste, not just tactile sensations.  Pain and torture is more interesting to talk about than bunny fur and hot wax, but that doesn't mean sensual D/s is underrated.  I would suspect most couples include some sensual play as part of their overall repertoire.


For me, pain is a part of this, but i can't and won't live without the everyday hugging, etc.  Been there done that.  There is nothing so comforting as being held after a good belting.

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Collared June 4th, 2008
Love is giving him the power to destroy you, but trusting him not to.



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RE: Sensual D/s - 9/17/2008 7:25:18 AM   
OttersSwim


Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline 		I don't see that pain is exclusive of sensuality at all.

Still new and all, but last night I got spanked over Her lap till tears flowed, and all the while Her other hand was caressing my body and playing with the plug in my ass, while Her voice led me along with praise and encouragement...

And providing oral pleasure while your bottom is just on fire is just the BEST..

Heh, my first wank post....is it hot in here?

Two naked bodies, a plug, and a paddle...a totally sensual experience, at least for us. 




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(in reply to MischiefSF)
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RE: Sensual D/s - 9/17/2008 10:19:55 AM   
softpjOS


Posts: 398
Joined: 6/7/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MischiefSF

Way under-rated as far as I am concerned.  But then again, it's my favorite.  It seems generally from my experience that in the BDSM community there is a skew towards Sadomasochism and flashy bondage.  Prove me wrong and shout out for sensual D/s!!


The Sensual *aspect* of D/s comes from the chemisty between the people involved.
 
Between some couples it may be seen during a bondage scene, with others it will be observed in service....

(in reply to MischiefSF)
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RE: Sensual D/s - 9/17/2008 10:43:20 AM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline 		Well, I'm not sure what is meant by "sensual".  But I use the authority I have in our relationship for the purpose of building love, not sex.  It seems to me that everyone is going to take the dynamic as a tool then make of it what they will... be it hot sweaty SM based sex or a Taken in Hand style marriage or whatever else they may happen to want beyond just the simple dynamic itself.

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~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to MischiefSF)
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RE: Sensual D/s - 9/17/2008 11:13:24 AM   
MischiefSF


Posts: 17
Joined: 11/4/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: eyesopened

First munch I ever attended the subbies were all gushing about pain this hurt that pain pain pain to the point where I wondered if that was all there was, was there a place for me, someone who is not a masochist.  When I found a play partner I discovered that in the normal course of things, many other sensations were offered.  Hot, cold, hard, soft, easy, intense, thud, sting, sweet, sour.  It encompassed sight, sound, smell and taste, not just tactile sensations.  Pain and torture is more interesting to talk about than bunny fur and hot wax, but that doesn't mean sensual D/s is underrated.  I would suspect most couples include some sensual play as part of their overall repertoire.


Bingo.  My apologies for not being clearer.  I consider sensual D/s play to definitely be BDSM, and for me it definitely doesn't stop when the bedroom doors close.  That said however, erotic submission is definitely (for me) at the core of my definition.  Being given orders, restrained, teased, pet, collared, interrogated, orgasm control, worship, service, etc.  Essentially D/s that is focused on pleasure as opposed to pain would be a good way to sum it up.  I recognize that for some people that distinction is meaningless; pleasure and pain are closely linked for them.  This is not the case for everyone.  Also, BDSM without relationship intimacy has never personally appealed to me; I find my submission to be one of the most romantic and intimate parts of myself, and my desire to surrender to someone is fueled by my love for them.  That does not make someone vanilla; I can see myself in a 24/7 situation with a sensual Domme without a doubt.

Specifically regarding my statement that this type of play is under-rated: nearly every workshop seems centered around pain techniques, and play parties are filled with folks looking for a public place to play out SM scenes.  Maybe I have misunderstood what I have heard/experienced, but it seems to me like there is an elitist sentiment that pain play is somehow better, more real, more BDSM than play that doesn't involve pain. 

Thanks everyone for responding thus far.  I appreciate the what was said about pain play being sensual for many; it makes a lot of sense.  Perhaps someone has a better term to describe non SM play that is D/s?

(in reply to eyesopened)
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RE: Sensual D/s - 9/18/2008 6:11:49 PM   
brokenmind


Posts: 85
Joined: 9/13/2008
Status: offline 		Wrapping my hand in her hair tighter and tighter until my knuckles grind into the nape of her neck then yanking her head to the side and laying my teeth into the soft flesh… inch by inch biting my way up. Breathing heavy hot breath in her ear and then taking her lips to mine… forcing her teeth apart with my tongue as my free hand buries nails in her ass making her tiptoe against the predicament.   -- some call that sensual D/s and others call it prom night.

(in reply to MischiefSF)
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RE: Sensual D/s - 9/18/2008 6:24:05 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		I am a sensual sadist!!!




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An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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RE: Sensual D/s - 9/18/2008 6:38:58 PM   
MsMillgrove


Posts: 260
Joined: 5/27/2008
Status: offline 		My sub and I have a fascination with language, we're very attuned to each other's words/phrases. We have so many in-jokes that we have to be cautious in company not to confuse the others.  Most of our in-jokes require long involved explanations that leave the listener dumb-founded and sorry they ever asked.  They're not the least bit funny to anyone else either.  We know what excites the other and carefully time lots of unexpected treats for each other.  Often, we flash the same thought. Intense daily diaries and photos of our times together allow us to share our lives and make memories.  I think of these things as sensual d/s. 
edited to reflect...
(in reply to OP.. still haven't figured out how this "reply to" function works.)

< Message edited by MsMillgrove -- 9/18/2008 6:42:36 PM >

(in reply to KnightofMists)
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RE: Sensual D/s - 9/18/2008 6:55:36 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		There isn't much to see in a public scene involving a bottom, a blindfold and various pieces of differently textured cloth. The bottom will certainly melt during this if she's wired for this, the top will certainly be gaining energy from his partner's reactions but a bystander is likely to be bored since there isn't anything to see.

Same goes with discussions about it. What can you say? I was blindfolded and slowly touched with various things and then I had a series of amazing orgasms? Yes, it works for the people involved but there isn't anything there to bring about a heated discussion.

The stuff that gathers attention either in person or in discussions is the flashy stuff. People simply are attracted to flash.

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Cynical and proud of it!


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RE: Sensual D/s - 9/18/2008 7:12:53 PM   
brat4fun


Posts: 47
Joined: 4/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: brokenmind

Wrapping my hand in her hair tighter and tighter until my knuckles grind into the nape of her neck then yanking her head to the side and laying my teeth into the soft flesh… inch by inch biting my way up. Breathing heavy hot breath in her ear and then taking her lips to mine… forcing her teeth apart with my tongue as my free hand buries nails in her ass making her tiptoe against the predicament.   -- some call that sensual D/s and others call it prom night.


And some call it a good idea to pass along to Sir! *melt*

(Sorry for the hijack!)

lil Aidan

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RE: Sensual D/s - 9/18/2008 7:31:04 PM   
leakylee


Posts: 747
Joined: 7/2/2004
Status: offline 		the PERFECT combination!!

sensual can range from toturing me with a violet wand, to lulling me into a loving cacoon. it all fits. alot just depends on the people, the time, and the moment.

smooches
lee

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RE: Sensual D/s - 9/18/2008 9:51:18 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline 		i find it extremely sensual to kneel at a man's feet... to get him a cup of coffee or dinner.. to clean his house, cook his meals... whatever he may desire

i also find it extremely sensual to find myself face down on his bed, one hand in my hair, the other holding a cane

also when he lips are tender, his hands softly caressing

~sighs softly with a grin~



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RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
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Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

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