littlesarbonn
Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline
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Yeah, the title sounds a bit long winded, and I apologize for that. But here's the crux of the idea behind this post:
When I first came onto the scene, I seem to remember that when I interacted with dominants there was a definite "someone's in charge" and "someone's not" attitude to the interchange between actors. However, one thing I've started to notice is that there seems to be more and more "my way or the highway" commentaries rather than "do what I say or there will be Hell to pay for it".
Let me further explain. Think of it this way: In the old days, if I was in a relationship with a dominant woman, and we were having a one on one conversation, I could almost guarantee that at some point there would be a foot putting down moment that would go something like: "No, you will do things THIS way." There would generally be a lot of direct reinforcement (whether positive or negative). Now, I seem to read A LOT of postings by dominants who state: "If he/she ever got out of line like that, he/she would be shown the door." No, "there would be Hell to pay"; just the door. It's only recently that I've started to notice so much of it in the current era.
Now, my observations also show somewhat of a difference between male dominants and female dominants. From what I have observed (keeping in mind that I don't intimately interact with male dominants and their submissives so I get a lot of this information second hand or from reading of posts on the boards) is that male dominants don't seem to have this type of reaction with their submissives. There seems to be a lot of direct enforcement (at least from what I can read...and for all I know it's a bunch of guys sharing their fantasies and they've never had a real partner ever). The female dominants I read tend to repeat dismissal mantras far more than the male dominants. I understand the whole "there's ten male submissives to every female dominant" thing, but it causes me to wonder if that realization is changing the very foundation of dominant/submissive behavior.
Now, I know there are those dominants out there who will state this is not the case for them. But one thing I've also noticed is that there are those who have said this in the past, and I've directly observed that they still manage to post "if he does that, he's so out of here" statements, meanwhile commenting that that's not what they do (in threads like this one). So I kind of wonder if this is an attitudinal behavior that some people aren't even aware that they have.
I somewhat reluctantly posted this because I have started to tire of trying to start conversations here that end up with unthinking, automatic, pre-thought responses or one liner jokes that stopped being funny decades ago. Also, for some reason, practically every topic I start ends up getting moved, which makes me suspect there's a moderator that's just never liked me, but that's another story.
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<---- FYI, this picture looks JUST like me
http://www.littlesarbonn.com/Stickman/Stickman.htm
The Adventures of Stickman and the Unemployed Lego Spaceman
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Slow change over time in dynamic of control in bdsm beh... - 
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