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stella41b -> RE: Quick question about relationships (9/9/2008 10:44:09 AM)
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Wow... Thank you for all your responses.,.. So from the general consensus here it would be the lying and the deception which is more hurtful than stuff like sexual infidelity, right?
Lockit: you make the good point of the emotional turmoil and perhaps shock of discovery.
MissIsis: yes something does change. Doesn't it make you wonder if forgiving and forgetting is really possible?
Merc: This I can understand. I guess for many it would be the end of the relationship.
Darcyandthedark: As above, it would appear that without trust there can be no relationship of any sort.
slaveboyforyou: I can see how that being used against you would be extremely painful. Would you agree that with every deception it gets progressively harder to trust?
coupleowl: you make a good point here. If someone isn't happy in a relationship, why not talk about it with the person you're with?
Aneirin: Thanks for a brilliant post from an entirely different perspective.
Ironitulstahp: I'm sorry that you have had to experience this. I guess that in every relationship intimacy is in itself unique and when that goes the relationship goes with it. Could this be why many people decide not to forgive and forget I wonder?
seeksfemslave: A very valid point. This is something which is perhaps often overlooked. But is this a case of a lack of communication, or perhaps a degree of self-deception? How easy is it to deceive yourself in a relationship?
Bethnai: It appears to be that one word, right? Deception.
proudsub: Again, it's the lies and the deception. Thank you.
xXLithiumXx: Again another interesting post on the aspect of the loss of intimacy. Would you agree that this compounds the pain after the lies and deception?
DiurnalVampire: Oh Lord no, sorry you had to experience that. What a good illustration of some really terrible consequences of cheating.
Califchick: Again sorry to hear of your experience and I appreciate you sharing this. Doesn't much of the hurt itself come from the rejection?
LadyHibiscus: Again the deception, but what if being trusting is part of your nature? Does it become harder to trust? Is there something lost as a result? Or do you just hold back?
MmeGigs: Thank you for a really interesting post. It brought home the necessary emphasis for communication, honesty and openness.
Irishmist: I guess that's one way of looking at it.
Candystripper: Thanks. again I'm sorry to learn that you experienced this. What changed within you as a result of this?
Vendaval: Again deception, and that need for honesty, communication and openness.
cpK69: An interesting point. Why would you think it was you? Is there any reason for this?
MissSCD: Thank you, and I'm sorry. Would it be true to say that being cheated on not only changes your perception of the person who cheated on you, but also the type of relationship?
cbc0846: Thank you. Again the betrayal. How close is betrayal to deception I wonder?
christine1: Thank you. I think perhaps when you find out you're probably too shocked, hurt, or heartbroken to be able to rationalize your feelings or even prioritize the different aspects of what happened, would you agree?
Thank you all once again for sharing as it helped me answer a few questions that were buzzing around in my head.
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