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Harassment help? - 8/31/2008 10:29:45 PM   
Daes


Posts: 246
Joined: 4/20/2007
From: Diamond Bar, SoCal
Status: offline 		Didnt know where this would belong, so thought Id get some help here.

There's this guy I met approx. sixteen months ago that I met over collarme, we'd talked on the phone and arranged a trip down to his place in Lancaster.

Despite my trying to communicate with him about my feelings - I felt like he wasn't very affectionate with me, and he had me doing housework, Lots of cleaning and cooking, which I dont mind but this was... rather excessive and with little praise >.> Anyhow I felt neglected, and somewhat like an unpaid maid.

Needless to say, I felt we weren't on the same page at all. He took my lack of interest as proof that I'm a fake and a liar.

To the point. Since we stopped talking a year and a half ago, he constantly bothers me with rude emails saying I'm a fake bitch and a whore etc etc, I ban him and he makes a new account. He sent me another one today with the same usual flamming and comments about how my relationship is fake

I now have a total of Seven banned accounts from this One person and I would like it to stop.

Is there anyone I can contact about this matter? Like Mod names? I could ignore it, and I Do, but if there are any actions I could take against him it would make me very happy to have him leave me alone once and for all.

< Message edited by Daes -- 8/31/2008 10:40:51 PM >

_____________________________

~*Estrellita*~
I want to be in surrender of His strength, of His power. Alone, I am nothing, but in His arms I am all things...

~His puppy~
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RE: Harassment help? - 8/31/2008 10:34:54 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Other than alerting the mods about it, simply ignoring him and banning is the right thing.  You can be comforted to know while you've moved on, he still feels desparate to get your attention.

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Daes)
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RE: Harassment help? - 8/31/2008 11:02:27 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		Daes, you have CaliMail.


Cali


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AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

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RE: Harassment help? - 9/1/2008 3:31:48 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Why don't you ignore him?  Every time you ban him you give him the attention he seeks.  But most would've figured this out way before 7 new screen names.

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“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to Daes)
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RE: Harassment help? - 9/1/2008 2:29:54 PM   
Daes


Posts: 246
Joined: 4/20/2007
From: Diamond Bar, SoCal
Status: offline 		I DO ignore them. I dont care that I get them, I just delete them. It would just be nice to have them stop =/

< Message edited by Daes -- 9/1/2008 2:30:43 PM >

_____________________________

~*Estrellita*~
I want to be in surrender of His strength, of His power. Alone, I am nothing, but in His arms I am all things...

~His puppy~

(in reply to KatyLied)
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RE: Harassment help? - 9/1/2008 3:10:52 PM   
Kalista07


Posts: 4240
Joined: 7/1/2007
Status: offline 		Daes,
i emailed You a couple of suggestions on the other side.


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“Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it.”
~~Sweedish Proverb


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RE: Harassment help? - 9/1/2008 7:56:31 PM   
Celeres


Posts: 166
Joined: 3/9/2008
Status: offline 		I have to agree with LuckyAbatross on this matter. Doing anything besides ignoring him only gives him that little bit of rope to keep tugging on your nerves. With that said, you can simply ignore all messages from people you don't know. Or, a bit less extreme, ban everyone's message that is out of state or from a certain age group? I hope you find what you're looking for!

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Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Harassment help? - 9/2/2008 11:47:16 AM   
Daes


Posts: 246
Joined: 4/20/2007
From: Diamond Bar, SoCal
Status: offline 		I've been getting these messages for a year and a half, I Do ignore them. Always.

I'm asking if there's anything I can do besides that? - that was the whole point of starting the thread....

Celeres: Filtering emails doesnt work, if you read the OP, I met him, he lives the same state as I do, filtering him means filtering many friends too.


_____________________________

~*Estrellita*~
I want to be in surrender of His strength, of His power. Alone, I am nothing, but in His arms I am all things...

~His puppy~

(in reply to Celeres)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Harassment help? - 9/2/2008 11:54:52 AM   
kajiradancer


Posts: 1
Joined: 8/26/2008
Status: offline 		i agree with you completely.  Some of them just can't take no for an answer.  Without knowing it was against the rules i posted my harrasser's 2 id's in my profile now i have been taken off for 24hrs while he gets away with it.  Really should be someway to report abusers like this

(in reply to Daes)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Harassment help? - 9/2/2008 1:21:37 PM   
VirginPotty


Posts: 11624
Joined: 7/16/2008
From: Virginville
Status: offline 		Unless he's threatening you, I don't think there's much you can do.
Just ignore the f**ker. I also liked what LA said
quote:

You can be comforted to know while you've moved on, he still feels desparate to get your attention.

He's a lonely pathetic loser who obviously has noone. He's probably sending the same notes to anyone else he might have met just to get a response. Just block him, delete his messages. Hopefully if you do report him to the Mods after more harassing notes from him, they can ban him permanantely from CM.

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Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.

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RE: Harassment help? - 9/2/2008 2:49:44 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Daes

I've been getting these messages for a year and a half, I Do ignore them. Always.

I'm asking if there's anything I can do besides that? - that was the whole point of starting the thread....

Celeres: Filtering emails doesnt work, if you read the OP, I met him, he lives the same state as I do, filtering him means filtering many friends too.



No, I think what people are saying here is to just delete the messages and don't let him see ANY reaction from you.  Blocking him shows up back on his end and he creates another ID to keep on emailing you because he sees he's getting to you.  Just delete the emails, but don't physically block him.  Just forget about him. When he sees no response at all, he'll eventually get tired of it. 

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

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Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Harassment help? - 9/2/2008 8:33:28 PM   
Celeres


Posts: 166
Joined: 3/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

Celeres: Filtering emails doesnt work, if you read the OP, I met him, he lives the same state as I do, filtering him means filtering many friends too.
quote:

ORIGINAL: Daes


Apologies Daes, I thought you meant Lancaster, PA. I forgot there was one near Palmdale. (Obviously Geography wasn't my strong suit in school). Again, sorry!!

(in reply to Daes)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Harassment help? - 9/2/2008 8:52:36 PM   
EvilGenie


Posts: 1323
Joined: 9/10/2007
From: Morocco and Maine occasionally
Status: offline 		Oh yes, post about him here. That should keep him off your back.

_____________________________

I will never make someone a priority, when they only make me an option.

FEAR the pixels....NOT!

Some things in life are like trying to pick up a turd by the clean end.

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RE: Harassment help? - 9/3/2008 12:09:30 AM   
Briena


Posts: 196
Joined: 1/20/2007
Status: offline 		How do you report something to Mods?  I mean there isnt a contact us thing.  How does one go about the need to report things to them?

(in reply to EvilGenie)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Harassment help? - 9/3/2008 12:53:27 AM   
EvilGenie


Posts: 1323
Joined: 9/10/2007
From: Morocco and Maine occasionally
Status: offline 		That depends upon what and to whom you are reporting. There is reporting to the Moderators for something on the boards. You go to the top and click on the Moderator which will take you to the profile where you can report. Then there is reporting to CM. You can report a profile, journal entry etc by clicking report user, report profile or report journal entry. They usually must meet one of the reporting criteria listed when report is clicked. There is also scam reporting to CM as well though usually only if it appears to be a ''new scam.''

My experience has been that reporting on a site with this many members is a fairly fruitless effort though I have reported journal entries and profiles which have been removed. You will never hear back, or rarely, as to the outcome or even that you have made a report. I have found it best unless something is blatently wrong to just ignore it.

_____________________________

I will never make someone a priority, when they only make me an option.

FEAR the pixels....NOT!

Some things in life are like trying to pick up a turd by the clean end.

(in reply to Briena)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Harassment help? - 9/3/2008 1:53:55 PM   
Daes


Posts: 246
Joined: 4/20/2007
From: Diamond Bar, SoCal
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: EvilGenie
Oh yes, post about him here. That should keep him off your back.


Heh like it'd change it anyways? If he didnt stop over a year ago he aint gonna stop right now >.>

windchymes: Ya... that makes sense. Thank you.

It does kinda suck though that a site this large doesnt have a better system for dealing with these kinda problems though.


_____________________________

~*Estrellita*~
I want to be in surrender of His strength, of His power. Alone, I am nothing, but in His arms I am all things...

~His puppy~

(in reply to EvilGenie)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Harassment help? - 9/3/2008 4:15:34 PM   
Briena


Posts: 196
Joined: 1/20/2007
Status: offline 		You know, if its that bad, you could always save the emails that he sends you and take them to the police.  Get a restraining order on him and that way he will not be able to contact you in any way.  Restraining orders are not that hard to get, unless he lives in a different state.  Then they are slightly more difficult.  Also if he truely is harassing you, contact a lawyer, the lawyer will write letters threatening to sue for pain and suffering as well as harassment.  Most of the time, a court threat stops it, and when it doesnt the lawyer can also help you get a restraining order to keep him away. 

(in reply to Daes)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Harassment help? - 9/3/2008 8:11:29 PM   
SavageFaerie


Posts: 4377
Joined: 12/3/2004
From: NYC
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: EvilGenie

That depends upon what and to whom you are reporting. There is reporting to the Moderators for something on the boards. You go to the top and click on the Moderator which will take you to the profile where you can report.


If you look at the bottom on each post there is a handy dandy button that says "Report"
It makes a ticket with the post #, a place to explain. The moderator can then look at it come to a decision and resolve it, usually you can track it via the ticket list at the very top right side of each page. You even get an explination of the result.

just sayin.....thats whats it there for.  The Moderators inbox is probably cluttered with other issues.

edited because I noticed its at the bottom and not top.

< Message edited by SavageFaerie -- 9/3/2008 8:18:32 PM >

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Disclaimer:If its the wrong word or misspelled I blame on my fingers and brains refusing to interact.

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Profile   Post #: 18
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