RE: Multiple doms? (Full Version)

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persephonee -> RE: Multiple doms? (8/27/2008 2:09:37 PM)

i always referred to my partners as "my doms" until i heard myself say it and it sounded wayyy too toppy for me. Now i do it tongue in cheek or if its quicker to refer to them that way. i have to have multiple partners at this time in my life. But none of them are my Dominant in the relationship context. i defer to two men's wishes in daily life, but am unowned.

Believe me, i've run the whole sharing thing past all of them and more than a few Doms on the boards and im of the impression that...."mine-mine-mine" would be the recurring theme in a sharing but separate situation.

On the other paw, if you want something....odds are there is someone out there who wants it too....so perhaps youll be the one who breaks all the rules. If so, email me and let me know how you did it, cuz as it stands, i dont want to give up anyone i have now.



ExSteelAgain -> RE: Multiple doms? (8/27/2008 2:23:21 PM)

Persephonee, you have a refreshing honesty in your posts. Heck, you probably make them both happy as hell. [;)]



Midnght -> RE: Multiple doms? (8/27/2008 3:30:05 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ExSteelAgain

Persephonee, you have a refreshing honesty in your posts. Heck, you probably make them both happy as hell. [;)]


She Does. }:>)



IvyMorgan -> RE: Multiple doms? (8/27/2008 4:40:49 PM)

*throws her hat in the "I'm poly" ring*

I have served more than one person at once, there was a heirarchy, everyone knew their place, and it all flowed.

I have been in situations where one personality has one partner, and another personality has another.  That takes more work, but is doable almost, though it's easier if we can all just agree to share a relationship (but then finding someone to have that relationship with gets harder).

I like the idea of a "household" or "family" set up, I think I could feel comfortable like that, as Calla said, there are things I am not suited to and things that I am, and that could be taken into account without the people/person/unit that I am serving being detrimented, becuase there are other people with complimentary things they are suited to/good at/bad at/like/dislike and so on.  In some ways, I can "specialise" more, or play more to my individual strengths, or be more of an individual, instead of trying to be "everything" for another person and feeling that that is beyond what I am capable of.

e.g. I can cook, I can't mend a car, I tend to destroy clothes when I iron them, and kill plants by looking at them, I can teach French grammar to children, and translate emails written in Spanish, I can sew buttons, I can't make decent coffee.

Similarly, a dominant doesn't have to be "everything" to all of the mes if there is more than one of them.  They can play to their strengths, likes, dislikes, limits etc and not compromise themselves, whilst I also do not have to compromise on things that I enjoy/want from a relationship/partnership.

I suck at explaining why I like poly.  I think I'm worse at making coffee, but only slightly.



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Multiple doms? (8/27/2008 4:57:42 PM)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_1862038/mpage_1/key_multiple%252Cdoms/tm.htm#1863858
Is two or more masters possible?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_1719197/mpage_1/key_dom%252Ccouples/tm.htm#1721059
sub/sub and dom/dom couples

http://www.collarchat.com/m_1678017/mpage_1/key_two%252Cdoms/tm.htm#1678046
Two doms?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_1430066/mpage_2/key_two%252Cdoms/tm.htm#1433421
to all dominants

http://www.collarchat.com/m_1022541/mpage_1/key_two%252Cdoms/tm.htm#1023431
a sub with two doms

http://www.collarchat.com/m_746009/mpage_1/key_two%252Cmasters/tm.htm#746254
serving two masters

http://www.collarchat.com/m_486285/mpage_1/key_two%252Cmasters/tm.htm#486926
being owned by more than one master

http://www.collarchat.com/tm.asp?m=362397&mpage=1&key=owned%2Ccouple&#362403
can slaves have two masters

http://www.collarchat.com/m_67515/mpage_1/key_two%252Cmasters/tm.htm#67515
Serving Multiple Masters

http://www.collarchat.com/m_1175519/mpage_1/key_two%252Cdoms/tm.htm#1175941
double d's



LATEXBABY64 -> RE: Multiple doms? (8/27/2008 7:19:28 PM)

you sound like a empolyment agency lol  they better get out the resume  lol
i am not sharing person  i am not into tribes or herds of one lion many lioness
I would like to think being a human being is more then just a reflection of what peole think of the animal kingdom after all we got guns and stuff  way more cool then being a monkey swinging from trees   they can not play xbox so get over it



DarkSteven -> RE: Multiple doms? (8/27/2008 9:35:02 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: subtee

I'm going to ask for one for Xmas from everyone I know...so I'll have bunches and bunches of them.



Dammit!  I'm Jewish!  How the heck can I be a Christmas gift?



catize -> RE: Multiple doms? (8/27/2008 9:37:22 PM)

I have no idea if it s 'usual' or not.  There are 2 men in my life who I submit to.  They both know that I am not monogamous, I tell them when I am going to spend time with the other one and I tell them when I am going to meet somene new. They each know that when I am with them i am all theirs foro the duration of the visit.  It works for us. 



atypicalsub -> RE: Multiple doms? (8/27/2008 10:01:46 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: IvyMorgan

*throws her hat in the "I'm poly" ring*

I have served more than one person at once, there was a heirarchy, everyone knew their place, and it all flowed.




My own situation is as pet to a poly household.  I am sub to three women, but there is a very clear heirarchy.  I have only one Mistress, her desires for me are always first priority.  If I am not doing something for her then I am to answer to Syr (her partner).  If neither of them have given me something to do then I answer to M'lady.  The question of conflicting instructions was one of my first concerns so I was very relieved that Mistress had already forseen the problem and had an immediate answer for how it would be handled.



Leatherist -> RE: Multiple doms? (8/27/2008 10:50:16 PM)

I'm sure it's fine with you......but I am a selfish, insecure jerk. Why risk letting a viper into the nest by "sharing"?



MasterWilliam55 -> RE: Multiple doms? (8/27/2008 11:12:46 PM)

Ya well, try that out in real-life.



MidMichCowboy -> RE: Multiple doms? (8/27/2008 11:55:30 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: subtee

I'm going to ask for one for Xmas from everyone I know...so I'll have bunches and bunches of them.



quote:

ORIGINAL: simpleplan2

You ARE going to share, aren't you?


I have a much better idea ladies .... share an old cowboy!

The two of you could shave a few years off a lucky man's life, but what a way to go.



MasterFireMaam -> RE: Multiple doms? (8/28/2008 12:34:39 AM)

I am my girl's Master. she has, however, a sexual dominant and a some-times SM play partner...as well as a husband. I have others in my life, too. It doesn't mess with our dynamic and works for us.

Master Fire



MaamJay -> RE: Multiple doms? (8/28/2008 2:49:21 AM)

The issues I see have already arisen ... ie the conflicting orders, possible manipulation etc. It takes both Dominants to confer to make it work well, but it is eminently possible. A sub in this household would be primarily answerable to Me, should Master give them an order which apparently conflicts with one of Mine, they are to tell Master. He as ultimate Head of Household then decides whose order needs to take precedence and informs sub who does as told. sub is off the hook! No problemo!

Maam Jay aka violet[A]



defiantbadgirl -> RE: Multiple doms? (8/28/2008 3:01:09 AM)

With some, having more than one partner may be an ego trip. For others, it might be an issue of getting all needs met. I'm in a monogamous relationship, but often tease my Sir about him being my favorite. When he says he better be my only, I ask him what I'm supposed to do with the other 10.



badlilthang -> RE: Multiple doms? (8/28/2008 3:04:24 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: eyesopened

It's acceptable as long as its acceptable to the parties involved. 


But even more humorous is the thought that a submissive who doesn't care to share her Dominant is automatically insecure, jealous and will get all kinds of advice on how to not be jealous and insecure like her feelings are BAD.... but the Dominant isn't jealous or insecure when HE doesn't want to share *coughbullshitcough*

Bottom line....just be up front with everyone, be yourself and enjoy enjoy enjoy!


***FINALLY someone asking about something i have wondered about for years!!! YAY...and also agreeing with me - i am not alone....man...that felt good...lol.....nice wheels, btw..s..***

i am in the same situation. i have a rt man - who i adore and respect. He is very open minded, just like i am - and has no problems at all with me serving a Master. i had a rt Master for 7 years - and once we even got lucky enough to be together all three of us. Master then solved the *who's gonna be in charge* so easily by simply asking my rt *is it ok for You that I take the lead*? Knowing my rt as i do - i knew it would not be a problem - and it took the pressure off of me, also.

Well - the "mine mine mine" i also hear a lot. And also "How can you serve two and still give it all " and so on.

RT - as loving and kind and fun as he is - can not meet the darker needs i have - and he knows this - but he also said that after i returned from my visits with Master - i was more passionate, hungry and loving - always smiling and filled with energy - and of course he got the good side of all of this...hehe.

a Dom found me here - we talked at length about sharing - i never held back the fact i had a rt - and He said He was ok with it. Still - i found a post in our journal that it was over - not to contact him again - He could not share. Safe to say i was shocked - He had thought of this for a while - but just dropped the bomb in my lap and walked away. i understand Him - he needed the clean break to be able to walk away - still left me somewhat numb.

So..the sharing part - when push comes to shove - might not be as easy for a Dom as it sounds...s..Also a last thought - like eyesopened said...why should sharing be easier for a submissive - than for a Dom? Some are monogamous - some can handle more than one partner - others again have a kinky/vanilla relationship that is solid and good - but needs the deeper and darker things also to be taken care of....we're different as humans - we need different things - and i have not given up my search for the Dom/Master who is willing to see me regularly - knowing i am living with a man - and very happily so...

hey..call me greedy...it is MY life....*L*

edited because i clicked the ok button way before i was done writing..duh..



LATEXBABY64 -> RE: Multiple doms? (8/28/2008 5:05:47 AM)

I think it is a form of compromise  kinda like a fear of cheating thing   so you just give in   but in the long term how many people have stable marriages who have had a lot partners what percentage   i bet it is very few  once you have went done a road of chaos  I do not think you can be monogo   I think for the rest of your life your always going to want more  or never be satisifed with just one  could be in your wired some are wired for monogo others wired for poly sound   i think some are just fallowing fad never listening to their inner self   never will find it hanging in a audence of lost people



eyesopened -> RE: Multiple doms? (8/28/2008 5:35:04 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

I think it is a form of compromise  kinda like a fear of cheating thing   so you just give in   but in the long term how many people have stable marriages who have had a lot partners what percentage   i bet it is very few  once you have went done a road of chaos  I do not think you can be monogo   I think for the rest of your life your always going to want more  or never be satisifed with just one  could be in your wired some are wired for monogo others wired for poly sound   i think some are just fallowing fad never listening to their inner self   never will find it hanging in a audence of lost people


Very confused about your point of view.  The majority of people engage in what could be considered 'serial monogomy' and the length of time between partners being so short that it might as well be multiple partners and I'm talking vanilla here as well as D/s M/s.  You may have heard that people enter our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.  I have been very happy in the past having more than one partner because each has entered my life for a reason, or even a season.  Once I met the person I want to be with for the rest of my life, monogomy is as natural as breathing and I don't want more and I am satisfied, sated, and competely at peace.



DS4DUMMIES -> RE: Multiple doms? (8/28/2008 5:39:04 AM)

So.....then ....if a Dom is "under consideration".....the sub should be able to obtain all of his passwords, restrict who he can talk with, and control his time online while she "considers" whether to keep him? ...LOL.



badlilthang -> RE: Multiple doms? (8/28/2008 7:28:10 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

I think it is a form of compromise  kinda like a fear of cheating thing   so you just give in   but in the long term how many people have stable marriages who have had a lot partners what percentage   i bet it is very few  once you have went done a road of chaos  I do not think you can be monogo   I think for the rest of your life your always going to want more  or never be satisifed with just one  could be in your wired some are wired for monogo others wired for poly sound   i think some are just fallowing fad never listening to their inner self   never will find it hanging in a audence of lost people

***You so missed the entire point here. i do not cheat - never will i - we just have a different view of relationships than you do. It is not out of fear, either - just the way we feel and live our lives. And of course i CAN be monogamous - lol - but i do not want to nor do i need to...i enjoy to be with more than one man - my choice, right? If he finds a girl he would like to play with - good for him  - as long as we do not hide it for each other...It is not like i f*ck around with everyone i meet - and i am very satisfied with my life as it is now. i can happily live with my rt - and do fine - but i am blessed enough to be able to actually live out ALL my facets and sides - and get loved and love even more..s..i AM listening to myself - but i am also listening to my rt - we talk a lot - we enjoy each other and we have enough strength/self esteem/love to also include others..s..yes, i know it takes a certain attitude to do it - but for us - it works...s...***



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