I did something wrong, how can I fix this?

I did something wrong, how can I fix this? (Full Version)

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Madame4a -> I did something wrong, how can I fix this? (8/19/2008 9:49:39 AM)
This is not earthshattering or a deal breaker but its typical of me and while I've not gotten down how to NOT do it, I'd like to figure out how to fix it. Normally, I'd just let it go. Previous distraction (I should rename him, huh?), ok, Current Distraction and I spent a great deal of time together last weekend and week. He came downtown one day and had lunch with me. We had a lovely time together and when he got up to refill his drink he asked if I wanted anything and I said "iced tea, unsweetened, please if they have it". We were in an area with lots of 'to go' lunch places and I thought the place we got lunch would have it. He took forever to come back and he was smiling and triumphant that he had found iced tea. Apparently he went all over for it. I was thrilled that he went the extra mile -- mostly because ours is not a slave or submissive relationship beyond the bedroom. He will defer to me and he will certainly do anything I ask, but he's not my fulltime anything. He's my funtime bedroom guy. When I got back to the office, I realized it was sweetened iced tea. I should have known, bottled unsweetened iced tea is hard to find. I never said a word and I should have. I drank very little of it, and its sitting here on my desk, mocking me. Should I fix it or just wait until the next time?

Lockit -> RE: I did something wrong, how can I fix this? (8/19/2008 9:57:55 AM)
Darn and you have no tea to drink! I would most likely let it go until the next time he went to get me a drink and then give him a lil reminder that I didn't like it sweetened. He will remember the last time and will feel bad most likely... so I would say it with a smile letting him know I wasn't mad, just didn't want it to happen again. Then again... next time in the bedroom... you could bring it into play with a lil punishment for not having anything to drink at work because he brought sweetened tea and took so long to get it! hehe

NuevaVida -> RE: I did something wrong, how can I fix this? (8/19/2008 9:58:32 AM)
"iced tea, unsweetened, please if they have it". If they have it...meaning if they don't, sweetened is OK? That would be an understandable interpretation of it. So he did the right thing. I wouldn't say anything. I'd thank him for the tea and be more clear the next time. "Iced tea, but only if it 's unsweetened. Otherwise, _____."

Madame4a -> RE: I did something wrong, how can I fix this? (8/19/2008 10:03:07 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NuevaVida "iced tea, unsweetened, please if they have it". If they have it...meaning if they don't, sweetened is OK? That would be an understandable interpretation of it. So he did the right thing. I wouldn't say anything. I'd thank him for the tea and be more clear the next time. "Iced tea, but only if it 's unsweetened. Otherwise, _____." WOW! you are so right! And that is what I said to him... I'm spoiled... my boi knows what I will drink.. if they don't have unsweetened iced tea, I go to water.. so she knows... but Distraction does not... thank you so much for that.. you've pointed out something I missed.. I knew I was doing something wrong.. I always assume its a failure on my part to communicate correctly and here, indeed it was... and Miss Lockit quote: ORIGINAL: Lockit Darn and you have no tea to drink! that really is the tragedy of it all grin

ElanSubdued -> RE: I did something wrong, how can I fix this? (8/19/2008 10:13:44 AM)
Madame4a, --- I never said a word and I should have. I disagree. There is nothing that can be fixed at this time. The mistake was an honest one that, in part, couldn't be helped due to time constraints and the shortage of vendors selling unsweetened iced tea. --- I drank very little of it, and its sitting here --- on my desk, mocking me. Should I fix it --- or just wait until the next time? If by "fix it" you mean go and get your own, unsweetened iced tea, if you have time, go ahead. As for the boy who brought this to you, I'd say nothing now. Saying something now will only tarnish the extra effort he put into finding this for you. You've already acknowledged that this was not an easy task and that he went the extra distance just for you. Next time, politely emphasize that you'd like unsweetened iced tea and that if they don't have this, you'd prefer xxxxx as a substitute or nothing at all. Don't make any reference to the sweetened ice tea the boy got you last time. He'll figure things out on his own. Oh, and this time, when the boy returns as instructed, make sure to thank him. Let him know how very appreciative you are of his efforts and his listening skills. Positive communication and reinforcement, in my opinion, works really, really well. :-) Elan.

softpjOS -> RE: I did something wrong, how can I fix this? (8/19/2008 10:18:26 AM)
well, Your sitting at a computer so why not zip off an email to him? Thinking that could serve two purposes, let You express Your thoughts on the matter and perhaps give him alternatives for the next time. It would also let him know that yes, You appreciated his efforts however You're sitting at Your desk thirsty and being mocked by that bottle of tea! lol. Thinking of a very similar situation i found myself in just a couple of weeks ago. When i go pick up subs (sandwiches people!!) for Mistress, i made it a point to order Hers on wheat roll, knowing Her preference for wheat bread. Well, years go by of me doing this.... finally one night She says something about it and i was completely stunned and hurt to think that all along i've been screwing up! She felt that my taking the time and effort to pick something up for Her was enough, and to nit pick about it was just being bitchy..... umm no, i was doing it for Her, to save Her the trouble of making something Herself and hated the thought that i had actually been bringing Her something She truly did not like. I now question things i do for Her, and if i'm truly doing the right thing. Constantly questioning myself and I guess in some ways Her as well, it's in the back of my mind.. is She really happy with this or just not saying anything? I know, it's silly... all over a bread choice. But isn't it always the little things that cause big problems in the long run? Edited because i cant type and to add: Her thoughts on the wheat roll was i was looking out for Her health and it truly wasn't a HUGE deal, She would have just rather had something else [8\|]

Madame4a -> RE: I did something wrong, how can I fix this? (8/19/2008 10:22:28 AM)
Thanks.. I tend not to email him... but I have to relate a similar story.. and my boi often tells this one, she did this weekend -- she made my coffee for me, whenever she was in the house for about two years.. and I always said.. "its wonderful, thanks" ... one day I finally admitted it might be a bit strong and that I make it a bit differently (although I'm sure I showed her, in my VAGUE fashion how I do it) .. with less coffee. She really was upset... I figured someone was making coffee for me, I had no reason to complain... I am fussy about coffee but I could drink it.. and I did enjoy it, even if it was a bit strong. She loves telling that story... grin she makes even better coffee than I do now.. and I complain when she's not there to make it for me... and she'll say with a glint in her eye "you're lying.. I know you hate it" and we laugh I wonder to the bottom/submissives/slaves out there.. is this terrible? quote: ORIGINAL: softpjOS well, Your sitting at a computer so why not zip off an email to him? Thinking that could serve two purposes, let You express Your thoughts on the matter and perhaps give him alternatives for the next time. It would also let him know that yes, You appreciated his efforts however You're sitting at Your desk thirsty and being mocked by that bottle of tea! lol. Thinking of a very similar situation i found myself in just a couple of weeks ago. When i go pick up subs (sandwiches people!!) for Mistress, i made it a point to order hers on wheat roll, knowing Her preference for wheat bread. Well, years go by of me doing this.... finally one night She says something about it and i was completely stunned and hurt to think that all along i've been screwing up! She felt that my taking the time and effort to pick something up for Her was enough, and to nit pick about it was just being bitchy..... umm no, i was doing it for Her, to save Her the trouble of making something Herself and hated the thought that i had actually been bringing Her something She truly did not like. I now question things i do for Her, and if i'm truly doing the right thing. Constantly questioning myself and I guess in some ways Her as well, it's in the back of my mind.. is She really happy with this or just not saying anything? I know, it's silly... all over a bread choice. But isn't it always the little things that cause big problems in the long run?

NuevaVida -> RE: I did something wrong, how can I fix this? (8/19/2008 10:22:39 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Madame4a quote: ORIGINAL: NuevaVida "iced tea, unsweetened, please if they have it". If they have it...meaning if they don't, sweetened is OK? That would be an understandable interpretation of it. So he did the right thing. I wouldn't say anything. I'd thank him for the tea and be more clear the next time. "Iced tea, but only if it 's unsweetened. Otherwise, _____." WOW! you are so right! And that is what I said to him... I'm spoiled... my boi knows what I will drink.. if they don't have unsweetened iced tea, I go to water.. so she knows... but Distraction does not... thank you so much for that.. you've pointed out something I missed.. I knew I was doing something wrong.. I always assume its a failure on my part to communicate correctly and here, indeed it was... Yay! I tend to take things verrrry literally, which used to drive my former Master crazy. :) Sometimes it's just a tiny communication issue that makes all the difference, isn't it? Ain't it fun?? [8D]

Madame4a -> RE: I did something wrong, how can I fix this? (8/19/2008 10:24:05 AM)
Thank you...it was last weeks tea, I've had other gallons of it since then.. [:D] I appreciate the advice. I think one of the many reasons I didn't say anything when I realized it was the effort he went through to get me something... and he was just keeping 'iced tea' in his head.

Lockit -> RE: I did something wrong, how can I fix this? (8/19/2008 10:24:28 AM)
softpjOS, Good to see you... thank you for pointing that out. I hadn't thought of things like that and can now see how that could happen. I try to communicate well, but one can't think of everything, so I for one am very thankful you said something! I will have to try to consider that if something like this happens and... am now wondering if I have ever done that! lol

ElanSubdued -> RE: I did something wrong, how can I fix this? (8/19/2008 10:24:53 AM)
Madame4a, quote: ...I realized it was sweetened iced tea. (snip) I drank very little of it, and its sitting here on my desk, mocking me. Talking directly to your own disappointment now... I know what it's like to have the desire for something specific, to think that you're getting that thing, and then to have a substitute delivered. You don't want a substitute! You want unsweetened iced tea dammit! Having the substitute taunting you makes the denial all the worse. Perhaps you could find another treat in the building that would satiate you? Is there a store or a cafeteria there? Yes, I realize they probably don't have unsweetened iced tea, but something else may catch your fancy that takes your mind away from this frustrating situation. Elan.

ElanSubdued -> RE: I did something wrong, how can I fix this? (8/19/2008 10:29:31 AM)
Madame4a, quote: Thank you...it was last weeks tea, I've had other gallons of it since then.. Oops! I just read this post now! I guess you can belay my "pamper yourself with something else" advice. By the way, I think you're right. At the first vendor, the boy may well have had "unsweetened ice tea" in his head, but upon discovering the need to go to other vendors, what, with the time constraints and not wanting to disappoint you, by the time he got to several more vendors just finding "ice tea" was probably all he could keep in his mind. Glad to hear you've had lots of your favourite since! Elan.

softpjOS -> RE: I did something wrong, how can I fix this? (8/19/2008 10:33:44 AM)
Hi hi Ms Lockit!! Have missed seeing You as well. And yes Ma'am, we silly subs/slaves do tend to feel a bit deflated when we think we've been doing something right only to find out...we've been screwing up all along. lol and yes, when i pick up a sub for Her now... i tend to open it with a taaaadaaaaaaaaaaa!! NOT on wheat!! She just laughs and swats my bottom.... yippie!! Mistress laughing AND swatting me!

Lockit -> RE: I did something wrong, how can I fix this? (8/19/2008 10:44:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: softpjOS Hi hi Ms Lockit!! Have missed seeing You as well. And yes Ma'am, we silly subs/slaves do tend to feel a bit deflated when we think we've been doing something right only to find out...we've been screwing up all along. lol and yes, when i pick up a sub for Her now... i tend to open it with a taaaadaaaaaaaaaaa!! NOT on wheat!! She just laughs and swats my bottom.... yippie!! Mistress laughing AND swatting me! Darling there is nothing silly about you! Your heart shows very well in your service to your Mistress and you are always very helpful. That I know personally! lol Seems to me... I was the silly one back then and had you not helped... I'd have been in a world of hurt! lol I still wonder what I would have done if you hadn't been there and willing to help! rofl Yes your Mistress laughing and swatting you is a nice thought! I even like it! hehe

LadyHibiscus -> RE: I did something wrong, how can I fix this? (8/19/2008 10:49:09 AM)
Eeeeh but I hate sweet tea. They gave it to me by mistake at the McDonald's the other day, and WHOA that was a nasty moment. I would remind him nicely that sweet tea is a no. Men who will bring stuff are rare, why mess it up!

SunNMoon -> RE: I did something wrong, how can I fix this? (8/19/2008 12:26:06 PM)
Another thing that I think could have happened, since I’m guilty of this all the time. He grabbed the wrong bottle. Since half the time they are right next to each other. I personally like sweetened so I end up with unsweetened a lot. The reason I think this might be the case is because you say he spent so much time looking for the tea. I’d say just be more literal next time, such as unsweetened tea only otherwise water please.

LadyPact -> RE: I did something wrong, how can I fix this? (8/19/2008 5:26:10 PM)
I have to agree with the direct quote above on the label issue. It happened to Me just last weekend. I don't do tea, but I'm big on diet pepsi. Someone had grabbed Me the regular by mistake, but I caught it before we checked out. Usually not as easy to do with tea, if it's not in the bottle. Had I not noticed the different label, I probably would have went ahead and drank the regular pepsi. I understand that paying attention to detail is important, but during the getting to know (or learning again) preference phase, these kinds of mistakes happen. To Me, they aren't the end of the world. I'm generally happy to be in the company of someone who wants to fetch My drink. Since previous/current distraction seemed so pleased that he had what he thought you wanted after searching for it, I probably wouldn't bring up that the mistake was made. From what was written, it seems that he was trying to please you, and had a level of satisfaction thinking that he did. I would just suggest giving him the instruction again next time, stressing the unsweetened part. If you suspect that it might be hard to find, give him an alternative that you will settle for. In time, he'll know your preferences and these types of things won't happen.

pixelslave -> RE: I did something wrong, how can I fix this? (8/19/2008 10:14:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact I don't do tea, but I'm big on diet pepsi. Someone had grabbed Me the regular by mistake, but I caught it before we checked out. LOL! ALL Pepsi looks nearly the same to me! [;)] When you don't drink a particular brand of something, reaching for what looks like what you think you're supposed to be getting and then accidently grabbing something from the next row is very easy to do! [>:] - pixel

Skully7000 -> RE: I did something wrong, how can I fix this? (8/20/2008 12:17:58 AM)
Just for laughs... coincidently the last film I worked on Deals with this very subject except it was Diet Soda instead of iced-tea click on the pic for a free 10sec preview (I'm not advertising for anyone to buy it, the gifs and preview are enough to get a laugh) http://www.clips4sale.com/studio/18362

MasterFireMaam -> RE: I did something wrong, how can I fix this? (8/20/2008 2:10:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NuevaVida "iced tea, unsweetened, please if they have it". If they have it...meaning if they don't, sweetened is OK? That would be an understandable interpretation of it. So he did the right thing. I wouldn't say anything. I'd thank him for the tea and be more clear the next time. "Iced tea, but only if it 's unsweetened. Otherwise, _____." Exactly. If you're not getting what you want, your orders weren't clear. Assuming the relationship is working, there's the desire to follow orders, yadda yadda... Master Fire

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