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stella41b -> RE: The Light (8/16/2008 12:43:00 PM)
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Humans are the most diverse species on the planet. We thrive on diversity and this is what separates us from all other living beings on this planet. We exist on a planet in the universe and perhaps it is instinct which causes us to perceive ourselves as planets in a galaxy of other humans. We seek to control our environment and nature and yet we are controlled by our environment and nature and thus this is what motivates us to learn, discover, explore and seek.
It would appear that our fascination with life and the other humans around us is caused by our own obsession with human genitalia, our own and that of other humans. From a certain perspective, say that of a Martian we would have come to Earth to check out the possibilities of an invasion, we would have marvelled at something so wonderful as a worldwide computer network known as the Internet but on closer examination we would have discovered that it appears to be a worldwide computer system for humans to view the genitalia of other humans. Terrified by the thought of being humped by a human all further plans for an invasion would have been cancelled and this is why perhaps Martians have chosen to live under the surface of the planet out of sight of humans ever since the first NASA and Soviet rockets started landing on their red planet.
But maybe it is this fascination with our genitalia, gender and its effect on other humans isn't just our failing and weakness, but also our virtue and salvation? We are raised from the cradle to anticipate love, care, emotional support and bonding, and we are conditioned to feel and express our emotions as children before we are taught to think and rationalize our feelings and emotions. Puberty adds a new dimension, bringing to a gradual end that period of life which will remain with us to the grave and setting us along a path through adulthood and maturity. We become even more fascinated with our genitalia, and we go out to chase our dreams and find 'love' and invariably we screw up and get it all arse end backwards. Why? Life - that constant struggle to control our environment and circumstances whilst adapting to the changes that our environment and circumstances force on us.
We are diverse, yet we are far from perfect. We know from our earliest memories that there is good and bad, right and wrong, and that not everything is black and white. We know that success starts with an attempt, continues through failure, and I feel we all know somewhere deep inside us that we were never meant to control our environment or circumstances or to fully submit and leave everything to fate and that there should always be some sort of balance between what lies within and what lies outside.
This is what I believe brings the vast majority of us to BDSM, that failure to strike the right balance between what lies within and what lies without. It is a failure through something which is missing, but to find that something we have to discover through our relationships with other people. However to know what is missing we must find a need, an empty space in our lives, we must examine what is there, what has been, and to find the light you must be able to find your way through the dark and eventually the shadows.
Our arrival and first few forays into BDSM tend to return us to our sexuality and .. our genitalia and its effect on those around us and this is because we have arrived in a very dark place full of mystery and intrigue, but yet to find our way through to the light we must closely examine the mystery and intrigue that lies deep within ourselves. As we move closer towards the light we evolve and realise that BDSM isn't just about sex and our genitalia, but about control and mastery, both of ourselves and of our relationships. We look back towards those in the darkness, and see those walking the same path but much further back - the guys who send out dick shots, the women who put sexual and emotional needs above their own welfare and sense of responsibility, the sexualization and fetishization of BDSM as a whole and so on.
And yet our evolution continues, and yet we discover that there is still some distance towards the light, and that striking the right balance in our relationships relies mainly on finding that right balance within ourselves and this relies on mastery of our emotions, feelings and thinking. We look back and what do we see? We see people who are struggling with the issue of mastery of themselves, the ones who get caught out, who are so quick to cry wannabe, fake, who talk in terms of 'real' and who stumble through BDSM and their relationships ever so perceptive of the failings and weaknesses of others and yet so oblivious to their own. But this is some, not all, for others have already discovered the evolutionary approach to their relationships and are learning, and understand that their stepping into the light is merely the threshold, the light goes on, as does the learning, the discovery and development.
Apologies for the rambling, just my thoughts and my take from my own perspective. Some no doubt may have reason to disagree with what is here on the basis of their own experiences but I feel that we all have our own stories to tell and we are all following our own paths towards the same light.
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