Knowing you're moving to a place with no bdsm (or hidden bdsm) (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion



Message


littlesarbonn -> Knowing you're moving to a place with no bdsm (or hidden bdsm) (8/13/2008 10:00:02 AM)

Well, I graduated from graduate school, and of my choices where I might teach for the next year, I ended up with offers from South Korea and a university in Missouri. Yes, both are obvious hotspots of bdsm activity, known around the world. :)

So, if you discovered you were about to move to some place where the bdsm community does not exist, or is so underground that even the people participating in it don't know they're participating in it, what do you think you would do?

(this is a question more for fun than anything else...don't treat it as a complaint or a desire for sympathy or anything like that...there are enough threads of that nature)




Prinsexx -> RE: Knowing you're moving to a place with no bdsm (or hidden bdsm) (8/13/2008 10:04:56 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn

Well, I graduated from graduate school, and of my choices where I might teach for the next year, I ended up with offers from South Korea and a university in Missouri. Yes, both are obvious hotspots of bdsm activity, known around the world. :)

So, if you discovered you were about to move to some place where the bdsm community does not exist, or is so underground that even the people participating in it don't know they're participating in it, what do you think you would do?

(this is a question more for fun than anything else...don't treat it as a complaint or a desire for sympathy or anything like that...there are enough threads of that nature)


Ok so i am having a blond moment (irony)...but how would you know if you were moving to a place with hidden bdsm? [:D]




Lynnxz -> RE: Knowing you're moving to a place with no bdsm (or hidden bdsm) (8/13/2008 10:05:13 AM)

Start one! :D

People all over the world like a little spank and tickle, even if they don't create a group to talk about it.

That being said... you should go check out South Korea for a year or so, sounds like it would be fun.




littlesarbonn -> RE: Knowing you're moving to a place with no bdsm (or hidden bdsm) (8/13/2008 10:07:11 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn

Well, I graduated from graduate school, and of my choices where I might teach for the next year, I ended up with offers from South Korea and a university in Missouri. Yes, both are obvious hotspots of bdsm activity, known around the world. :)

So, if you discovered you were about to move to some place where the bdsm community does not exist, or is so underground that even the people participating in it don't know they're participating in it, what do you think you would do?

(this is a question more for fun than anything else...don't treat it as a complaint or a desire for sympathy or anything like that...there are enough threads of that nature)


Ok so i am having a blond moment (irony)...but how would you know if you were moving to a place with hidden bdsm? [:D]



That's a euphemism for the bdsm scene in Korea. I know one exists, but not being Korean means having a snowball's chance in hell of ever being invited to it.




littlesarbonn -> RE: Knowing you're moving to a place with no bdsm (or hidden bdsm) (8/13/2008 10:08:33 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

Start one! :D

People all over the world like a little spank and tickle, even if they don't create a group to talk about it.

That being said... you should go check out South Korea for a year or so, sounds like it would be fun.



South Korean, I agree. Missouri, unfortunately, is a position in such a small, rural area that "starting my own" community would probably cause me to lose my job in about an hour.




Prinsexx -> RE: Knowing you're moving to a place with no bdsm (or hidden bdsm) (8/13/2008 10:13:56 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn

Well, I graduated from graduate school, and of my choices where I might teach for the next year, I ended up with offers from South Korea and a university in Missouri. Yes, both are obvious hotspots of bdsm activity, known around the world. :)

So, if you discovered you were about to move to some place where the bdsm community does not exist, or is so underground that even the people participating in it don't know they're participating in it, what do you think you would do?

(this is a question more for fun than anything else...don't treat it as a complaint or a desire for sympathy or anything like that...there are enough threads of that nature)


Ok so i am having a blond moment (irony)...but how would you know if you were moving to a place with hidden bdsm? [:D]



That's a euphemism for the bdsm scene in Korea. I know one exists, but not being Korean means having a snowball's chance in hell of ever being invited to it.


i've been places in my head so you don't have to.
Believe me don't go there.......
.[:D]




kyraofMists -> RE: Knowing you're moving to a place with no bdsm (or hidden bdsm) (8/13/2008 10:17:44 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn
So, if you discovered you were about to move to some place where the bdsm community does not exist, or is so underground that even the people participating in it don't know they're participating in it, what do you think you would do?


Appreciate his basement dungeon even more!!  Last year we all moved to a place with no active community.  Once and a while we make the effort to drive over 5 hours to the city to attend a play party.

BDSM is just a small aspect of our lives and having a community where we lived was not a priority for us.  Of course, we are all three introverts and that plays a big part in what fulfills us on a regular basis.

Knight's Kyra




AAkasha -> RE: Knowing you're moving to a place with no bdsm (or hidden bdsm) (8/13/2008 10:19:10 AM)


Get a different job and move to a better location.  No one says you have to get a job teaching. People get all kinds of degrees and go into totally different fields.  Start over fresh and begin a career that is exciting and introduces you to a lot of people.  In my industry (marketing) none of the college grads can even write (including Journalism majors), so having writing skills automatically makes you attractive.  It may require working up the totem pole a little bit, but the benefit is working in an industry full of women - very aggressive, ambitious women - who are extremely creative.  Higher paying jobs exist for copywriters or even technical writers.

Other jobs that require writing skills and won't care necessarily what degree you have include grant writing, proposal writing, etc.  You can also go to work for a non-profit for very little money and they will love you regardless of your background in most cases - and eventually work your way into management. If you don't have debt and can move anywhere in the world, you should consider moving laterally into a brand new career.

Akasha




Prinsexx -> RE: Knowing you're moving to a place with no bdsm (or hidden bdsm) (8/13/2008 10:24:40 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha
In my industry (marketing) none of the college grads can even write (including Journalism majors), so having writing skills automatically makes you attractive.


Can i quote you without fear of litigation?





Lockit -> RE: Knowing you're moving to a place with no bdsm (or hidden bdsm) (8/13/2008 10:28:08 AM)

I am moving to Missouri and have gotten to know some people from MO that seem wonderful.  I was a little worried about the lack of other's there, but I have no concern about it now.  Hell, I don't actually need a party... just one will do, hehe

Good luck where ever you do decide to go littlesarbonn, I wish you the best!




KnightofMists -> RE: Knowing you're moving to a place with no bdsm (or hidden bdsm) (8/13/2008 10:29:11 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn
So, if you discovered you were about to move to some place where the bdsm community does not exist, or is so underground that even the people participating in it don't know they're participating in it, what do you think you would do?



discovered???  Hell.. I did this and am doing this for the past year.

I moved my family from an active community in Edmonton to a redneck area of northern Alberta.

So.... what did I do.......

Not much actually.... We have made the odd trip to Edmonton and a some fewer south... which wouldn't be any differnt if we lived in Edmonton.  I don't go to munches in general... last one we went to in Edmonton was like maybe 2-3 years ago... If I was in Edmonton... I might go to a munch about 1 every 2-3 years..... I don't miss it.

Edmonton has a monthly party that I helped get off the ground... and stepped away when I was more a hinderance than a help... In the beginning I would go almost every month.... but when I stepped away... 2-3 times a year was enough for me.

My lifestyle is not about being in the community.. in fact... the community is irrelevant to my lifestyle.  I have had a dungeon in my home for 5-6 years ..  I really got tired of trying to use the bedroom or other places.... but this only is a small part of my lifestyle... specifically the BDSM part... I really don't need the community for that.

The authority dynamic is between my girls and I........ again.. with or without the community... I would still have the authority dynamic going on....

Other aspects of my life have not change either...  I find that with CM.. I get the intellectual stimulus that I want in most cases... I can avoid the rest of the drama at my leisure or indulge in it when I am feeling particularly playful and sarcastic.

sooooooooo... what did I do............. not alot different than I was when living in Edmonton.




AAkasha -> RE: Knowing you're moving to a place with no bdsm (or hidden bdsm) (8/13/2008 10:31:43 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha
In my industry (marketing) none of the college grads can even write (including Journalism majors), so having writing skills automatically makes you attractive.


Can i quote you without fear of litigation?




It's just a casual observation, and I am speaking in my own experience in Southern California specifically, but have seen it on a national level as well here.  Journalism and Communications majors cannot write or use grammar at all, for the most part.  I don't want to come off too harsh and blatantly hypocritical, considering how many errors are in my writing on the Internet (where most of these kids read and write primarily), but when I write for my career, I edit until my eyes bleed.  It's common for a recent college graduate to give me materials that are supposed to be "client ready" and have missing periods, sentence fragments, etc.  For them, it seems to be all about how fast they can get it done - regardless of the end product.

Don't even get me started on their verbal/telephone skills :)

Akasha




littlesarbonn -> RE: Knowing you're moving to a place with no bdsm (or hidden bdsm) (8/13/2008 10:33:34 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha


Get a different job and move to a better location.  No one says you have to get a job teaching. People get all kinds of degrees and go into totally different fields.  Start over fresh and begin a career that is exciting and introduces you to a lot of people.  In my industry (marketing) none of the college grads can even write (including Journalism majors), so having writing skills automatically makes you attractive.  It may require working up the totem pole a little bit, but the benefit is working in an industry full of women - very aggressive, ambitious women - who are extremely creative.  Higher paying jobs exist for copywriters or even technical writers.

Other jobs that require writing skills and won't care necessarily what degree you have include grant writing, proposal writing, etc.  You can also go to work for a non-profit for very little money and they will love you regardless of your background in most cases - and eventually work your way into management. If you don't have debt and can move anywhere in the world, you should consider moving laterally into a brand new career.

Akasha



Well, I started this posting with more of an angry response, but decided against it. Intead, I've stripped away the pissed off response to indicate that I'm happy teaching. I went to school to learn to teach well. I love teaching an audience of students. I do it well. I enjoy it. My students enjoy it. I don't want to be a "marketer"; yes, I write very well, but that doesn't mean I'm going to dirty myself to turn into an advertising writer; just not my thing. That's fine for some people. Making money is a goal of some people; I do okay. Yes, my choices become somewhat limited, but I don't have to give in on my dreams in order to "move to another career" because somehow that's going to "solve" a situation that it won't really solve other than put me into a career I didn't want in the first place.

The post was an inquiry as to what other people would do in similar circumstances. I've accepted my circumstances are what they are going to be because two agencies have decided to offer me A LOT of what I'm seeking to do exactly what I love to do. They just happen to be in less desirable locations. So, taking your response, I'm assuming your mode of action would be to completely change your career.




TreasureKY -> RE: Knowing you're moving to a place with no bdsm (or hidden bdsm) (8/13/2008 10:38:23 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn

... a university in Missouri.


Depends upon where and what university. I've no idea if you ever even been to Missouri, but if not, don't rely on the "backwoods" reputation you might have heard. Missouri is a beautiful state and I can't think of anywhere you might be where you wouldn't be around a 2-3 hour drive from a major city. Okay, perhaps not to the tune of New York City or Los Angeles, but St. Louis and Kansas City aren't two-horse towns.

As far a BDSM communities in Missouri, just googling I find:

Columbia Erotic Power Exchange
Kansas City Alternative Hedonistic Source
St. Louis Fetish Lifestyle Open Group (FLOG)
St.Louis Leather and Lace
St Louis Scene

These are just the ones I could find with websites and doesn't include other, smaller groups in less metropolitan areas, or munches.

Just glancing through CollarMe, I find over 400 members from Missouri have been online in just the last 10 hours.

I've no idea what you're looking for in the way of "BDSM hotspots", but Missouri doesn't appear to be barren.




Missokyst -> RE: Knowing you're moving to a place with no bdsm (or hidden bdsm) (8/13/2008 10:40:00 AM)

If you plan the south Korea move get yourself used to online submission.  It is one thing to start up a group in the states and totally another to begin one on foreign soil.  The laws may make things dangerous for you.  As for Misouri, there may be some groups around.  And I wouldnt dismiss starting one if I were you.  You can always make it an online group for people in your local area.  I am sure they know what kind of reaction it might get and have the desire for discretion just as you do.
Good luck
Kyst




littlesarbonn -> RE: Knowing you're moving to a place with no bdsm (or hidden bdsm) (8/13/2008 10:42:11 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

If you plan the south Korea move get yourself used to online submission.  It is one thing to start up a group in the states and totally another to begin one on foreign soil.  The laws may make things dangerous for you.  As for Misouri, there may be some groups around.  And I wouldnt dismiss starting one if I were you.  You can always make it an online group for people in your local area.  I am sure they know what kind of reaction it might get and have the desire for discretion just as you do.
Good luck
Kyst


Yeah, I've been kind of under the impression it would be easier to establish something in Missouri than it would in South Korea. As a matter of fact, if I end up taking South Korea (which would be mainly because they are offering me an absurb amount of money...to me...and I'm fluent in the language), I kind of assumed my bdsm lifestyle would go in remission again for a number of years.




AAkasha -> RE: Knowing you're moving to a place with no bdsm (or hidden bdsm) (8/13/2008 10:43:08 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha


Get a different job and move to a better location.  No one says you have to get a job teaching. People get all kinds of degrees and go into totally different fields.  Start over fresh and begin a career that is exciting and introduces you to a lot of people.  In my industry (marketing) none of the college grads can even write (including Journalism majors), so having writing skills automatically makes you attractive.  It may require working up the totem pole a little bit, but the benefit is working in an industry full of women - very aggressive, ambitious women - who are extremely creative.  Higher paying jobs exist for copywriters or even technical writers.

Other jobs that require writing skills and won't care necessarily what degree you have include grant writing, proposal writing, etc.  You can also go to work for a non-profit for very little money and they will love you regardless of your background in most cases - and eventually work your way into management. If you don't have debt and can move anywhere in the world, you should consider moving laterally into a brand new career.

Akasha



Well, I started this posting with more of an angry response, but decided against it. Intead, I've stripped away the pissed off response to indicate that I'm happy teaching. I went to school to learn to teach well. I love teaching an audience of students. I do it well. I enjoy it. My students enjoy it. I don't want to be a "marketer"; yes, I write very well, but that doesn't mean I'm going to dirty myself to turn into an advertising writer; just not my thing. That's fine for some people. Making money is a goal of some people; I do okay. Yes, my choices become somewhat limited, but I don't have to give in on my dreams in order to "move to another career" because somehow that's going to "solve" a situation that it won't really solve other than put me into a career I didn't want in the first place.

The post was an inquiry as to what other people would do in similar circumstances. I've accepted my circumstances are what they are going to be because two agencies have decided to offer me A LOT of what I'm seeking to do exactly what I love to do. They just happen to be in less desirable locations. So, taking your response, I'm assuming your mode of action would be to completely change your career.



Unless your career gives you such fulfillment that it is more important than having romantic relationships and fulfilling friendships with likeminded people, why let it take your life in a direction that will potentially leave you isolated, lonely, unhappy?  At the end of your life are you going to look back with such a full heart from teaching, in areas where you were alone and lonely, or will you look back and be grateful for rich, romantic relationships, or a soul mate?  That's a decision you have to make.  You can do anything you want with this life, so long as you are prepared to accept the outcome.

Not all marketing or advertising is 'dirty."  You can use your skills to communicate about charities or people in need.  There's also a great opportunity to 'teach' in many careers, including marketing.  I have teachable moments all the time in my career - granted, it's not the same as lecturing in a classroom, but every new crop of eager interns is my own group to teach and grow, and I take great pride when they do well and have a hunger to learn. 

At the end of the day, it's your life.  But all people should question what role career plays in their overall happiness and spiritual, emotional and romantic fulfillment.  You only live once.

If it were me, yes, I would change my career (take a HUGE RISK) in order to not sacrifice my passions outside of my "job."   Unless I was in a happy, romantic relationship already.

The fact that your original response was going to be "pissed off" is odd.  You may do well to investigate that resentment.

Akasha




littlesarbonn -> RE: Knowing you're moving to a place with no bdsm (or hidden bdsm) (8/13/2008 10:49:57 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha



Unless your career gives you such fulfillment that it is more important than having romantic relationships and fulfilling friendships with likeminded people, why let it take your life in a direction that will potentially leave you isolated, lonely, unhappy?  At the end of your life are you going to look back with such a full heart from teaching, in areas where you were alone and lonely, or will you look back and be grateful for rich, romantic relationships, or a soul mate?  That's a decision you have to make.  You can do anything you want with this life, so long as you are prepared to accept the outcome.

Fair enough.

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha
Not all marketing or advertising is 'dirty."  You can use your skills to communicate about charities or people in need.  There's also a great opportunity to 'teach' in many careers, including marketing.  I have teachable moments all the time in my career - granted, it's not the same as lecturing in a classroom, but every new crop of eager interns is my own group to teach and grow, and I take great pride when they do well and have a hunger to learn. 

Yeah, I kind of regretted the choice of wording even after I entered the response. I don't want to be in advertising mainly because my research into the field has left me less than desirous about pursuing that field. It's a personal thing, and I'm sure there are many who are doing great things with it. I got involved in it once before, in a more altruistic process, but then saw as the position was forced to become more mercenary in the needs of the corporation we served, that I was left with a really bad taste about advertising and prefer to leave that field open to other people.

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha
The fact that your original response was going to be "pissed off" is odd.  You may do well to investigate that resentment.

Akasha



Not really necessary. It's why the post was changed before it even went out the first time. I've never actually felt your responses have been positively constructive towards me, and just assumed it was yet another one of those circumstances. Then decided I was just seeing that perspective as I'd come to generally recognize it.




SylvereApLeanan -> RE: Knowing you're moving to a place with no bdsm (or hidden bdsm) (8/13/2008 1:13:48 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn

I ended up with offers from South Korea and a university in Missouri. Yes, both are obvious hotspots of bdsm activity, known around the world. :)



Take the MO job.  I live in MO.  We're freaks. 
 
Srsly.




akisha -> RE: Knowing you're moving to a place with no bdsm (or hidden bdsm) (8/13/2008 1:19:43 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn

Well, I graduated from graduate school, and of my choices where I might teach for the next year, I ended up with offers from South Korea and a university in Missouri. Yes, both are obvious hotspots of bdsm activity, known around the world. :)

So, if you discovered you were about to move to some place where the bdsm community does not exist, or is so underground that even the people participating in it don't know they're participating in it, what do you think you would do?

(this is a question more for fun than anything else...don't treat it as a complaint or a desire for sympathy or anything like that...there are enough threads of that nature)



I travel 5 hours  or 8 hours to attend community functions when I can.

Welcome to my world lol

We do our thing at home with each other and don't really worry about it to be honest.

I personally keep active on boards like these and with friends from other cities and when we can we travel to attend things.




Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
4.492188E-02