CallaFirestormBW
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Joined: 6/29/2008
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One of the things that separates us from the animals is our capacity to control our instincts. It doesn't mean we won't feel the drive, but we have the right (and I believe the responsibility) to direct those drives in a way that is most productive.
I am instinctively dominant. That being said, I recognize that there are times when it is not in my best interests to aggressively promote my dominance. It is a choice. Being instinctively (some call it 'naturally') dominant or submissive does not abdicate the personal responsibility in making sure that one's choices are, at least in some part, based on something beyond that instinct. In fact, I would go so far as to say that our survival, as human beings, requires that we get past sating our instinctive desires at the cost of our long-term well being... not just as individuals, but as communities, countries, and cultures.
I also gave birth to three children. 2 of these were planned, one wished for but unexpected since I was supposed to be sterile -- I did have two completely unplanned pregnancies due to BC failure but I made a choice to end one pregnancy, and the other ended in a stillbirth.
Of my full-term babies, two of them were induced, and no pain medication was used. One was born at home with no medication at all. The boys were 10 and 10.5 lbs (yes, my husband and I were both big babies as well). The daughter (my second birth) was 8 lbs. Was birth painful? Yes. I knew it would be difficult. I had been a midwife for a while before my own children were born. It is one of the most intense, demanding experiences possible for a woman -- and for the woman who embraces that pain and challenge, the moment of realization that she has overcome this raw force of nature, and has brought forth life out of her own strength is mind-blowing. I would bet that many of these women never question their capacity to do any difficult thing again in their lives. Like many things, there are the panderers who will try to convince a person that xhe is not experiencing what xhe is experiencing. With "my" moms -- the ones I assisted in their birthings -- I never told them it wouldn't hurt -- in fact, I told them that it would be the most intense, consuming experience they had ever had -- and the hardest work they had ever done. I also told them that they would not be abandoned to that work alone -- that I would be there, and would do whatever they needed to help them triumph through this transformative force. I think many women want to hope and pray that they will be the one that it doesn't hurt for -- but it -does- hurt. It is supposed to hurt. It is supposed to mark a profound transition between being woman and being -mother-... preparation for a lifetime of joys and pains that are beyond our capacity to comprehend until we have lived through them.
In the end, it is how we use our minds and spirits, in concert with our instincts, that determines our progress and our satisfaction with our existence. Leave out any of these, and the experience is liable to be found 'wanting'.
Calla Firestorm
< Message edited by CallaFirestormBW -- 8/12/2008 1:05:07 PM >
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Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"
"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer
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