RE: Successful Polyamorous Relationships? (Full Version)

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Sensualips -> RE: Successful Polyamorous Relationships? (12/1/2005 4:51:36 PM)

Hmm, I would consider success more of a question of quality than endurance alone. There are long term relationships, poly or otherwise, that are characterized by pain, unhappiness, anger, resentment, etc. Just because two (or three or more) people are still "together," I would not automatically consider that successful.



kyraofMists -> RE: Successful Polyamorous Relationships? (12/1/2005 5:13:15 PM)

angaothsi and Cyrmzon,

As much as I appreciate your words and take pride in compliments to my Lord, I have to give credit where credit is due. These strengths and virtues I had before entering the poly relationship I am in now. My Lord and alandra give me the opportunity to exercise these strengths and improve upon them. There is also an expectation by my Lord that I will continue to behave in a manner that demonstrates these virtues. However, the credit for having this character lies mainly with my parents who taught me well

In regard to my articulateness, that is due to two writing teachers that I had throughout my years in University. I have a mathematical mind, so writing is not my strong suit. It took a lot of effort to develop my own writing style.

But given I can't subtract correctly, maybe math isn't my strong suit either *g*

Knight's kyra



ChereeAmoor -> RE: Successful Polyamorous Relationships? (12/3/2005 10:06:53 AM)

Depends on how you define long-term. We have all known each other for 7 years, been sleeping together for 5 of those years, and the three of us have been living together for a little over a year. We hope for and wish for and strive for several more years together.



IronBear -> RE: Successful Polyamorous Relationships? (12/3/2005 1:09:06 PM)

My poly experience was well before I know and understood the BDSM or Gorean lifestyle. My second wife and I were together for thirteen years. When we got together she brought her girlfriend with her as part of the package. The three of us shared the bed for those thirteen years without any major issues rising due to the relationship. Looking back, I can see how dumb I was, the second girl was possibly the most submissive person I’ve known and whilst my wife was very submissive to me she was extremely dominant with the girl. Had I know what I know now, there is no doubt I’d have had both of them in a collar, my ex was virtually begging me to collar her and regularly would beg to be restrained and screwed or whipped then screwed.

Our relationship was based on openness, honesty, trust and respect. We were part of the swinging scene and had two basic rules:

1. ~ If you have an itch, go scratch it with who ever, but tell us first so we don’t hear it second hand.

2. ~ Each of us had the right to pull the plug on a situation if we thought it was rocking the boat.

We split up because we grew apart and I was in a situation where I was going to be away more and more often. We hade both developed oversized incomes independently and this also altered the dynamics..



slavejali -> RE: Successful Polyamorous Relationships? (12/3/2005 2:11:36 PM)

Ironbear: do you remember about that guy in Byron Bay who had like 50 wives and 80 kids or something, he got all that publicity years ago....
i think the news report on him broke them up and all the judgement they received.



IronBear -> RE: Successful Polyamorous Relationships? (12/3/2005 2:55:27 PM)

Yeah I was thinking about him when I was writing the post. I saw the TV comentaries about him but never followed it up whilsy i was living in Perth.... I heard that his health went down the tubes with a dicky heart and some jokes in the press figured he'd bonked himself to near death at the end.... I always figured he's missed the 60's hippy communes and was trying to make up with a one man commune.....



LadyAidan -> RE: Successful Polyamorous Relationships? (12/9/2005 1:39:55 AM)

My longest poly relationship has last 10 years so far and I have just added sevral to it, with an open, honest and respectful comminication with each other them. I feel that hiding only hinders the relatiinships formed and destroys the poly household.

Now in that 10 years the one I share my life with has seen a few come and go that decided they wanted her out of the picture and I said no and showed them the door. She has been there for me in a way that the others have not and to push her out is unfair anf unjust, when they agreement was we would be one happy faimly, sharing everything and being open. That was not the case.

I have spoken tot he ones that have joined my family in depth about what my life and house are like and that I do not tolerate jealousy or petty vindictiveness. Either you can handle it or you cannot. Be truthful with us if you cannot instead of trying to destory something that has been carefully cultivated and nurtured over time.

I am open, honest and willing to share my life with those who are the same, who can communicate, be honest and trustworthy as well as respectful., If you cannot then there is not a place for you in my life and I will not server my relationships because you want to be the only one.

And in honesty there is only ONE who I woudl give up poly for and settle down and be monogamous with and everyone in my life knows who HE is and that is never going to happen. So it is not an issue.

Lady Aidan



HouseofBear -> RE: Successful Polyamorous Relationships? (12/9/2005 11:10:26 PM)

Lady Aidan,

We have experienced those who tried to come in thinking they would push me to the side. What they never seemed to realize is that I am secure in our relationship, and when one tried to act out and attempt to push me to the side they quickly found out I do not push away so easily, lol. When they found out they could not tick me off, and I stayed even tempered and did not leave, then they quickly left on their own. We have found out that many who want to enter poly with us, despite how clearly we communicate with them, still have it in their heads it is more like swinging or serial monogamy, where if they are only fantastic enough, they can replace the others in the family, then become extremely upset when things do not work out that way.

Lady Ursa



ChereeAmoor -> RE: Successful Polyamorous Relationships? (12/17/2005 8:01:01 PM)

Update! Update!

I got a letter today from someone telling me I was a "fake" and that no man would talk about true love and "allow" this.

My two darlings were understandably much amused at this. Just imagine - until this nameless, faceless person sent me this e-mail, we had NO IDEA we were fake! Wow! The joys of the internet!



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Successful Polyamorous Relationships? (12/18/2005 7:13:56 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ChereeAmoor

Update! Update!

I got a letter today from someone telling me I was a "fake" and that no man would talk about true love and "allow" this.

My two darlings were understandably much amused at this. Just imagine - until this nameless, faceless person sent me this e-mail, we had NO IDEA we were fake! Wow! The joys of the internet!

You are so lucky to have such friends who would not only take the time and energy to tell you such sage advice, but be so selfless that they would not even permit you to THANK them for it...would it that we all had friends as wonderful.



buffiyum -> RE: Successful Polyamorous Relationships? (12/18/2005 1:11:39 PM)

greetings to you kyraofMists and to all,
once in a while a person is privilege to read something that touches their hearts, minds and impacts upon their lives. Today, reading this, one was touched in just that way.
In speaking on 'respecting the other bonds within the House', you opened this mind to viewing polyamoury in yet another way, a more positive way...a more accepting way for her mind to grasp, in order for acceptance to enter the heart and take up residence there.
thank you then, from buffys heart for this.
with respect, a lot of respect,
this is buffy



gbgirlz2003 -> RE: Successful Polyamorous Relationships? (12/23/2005 3:59:10 AM)

I have been a part of one for over two years. He is my first Master and I cannot imagine living without the support of the other members of his house. Of course serving him comes first.



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