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Testing your dedication as a sub.... - 8/4/2008 7:10:40 PM   
HornyToadsMI


Posts: 287
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline 		Bossman was hurt last month.  I wont go into too many details, but I will say he broke an appendage (no, that one still works!!!)  LOL  I am having my dedication as his sub tested.  You know you are totally devoted and can read your Dom when they dont have to ask you to do things - like bring medicine, ice, hold chairs, bring meals, etc.  I even had the pleasure of washing Him (He is usually very independent).  Just my thoughts.  :)

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RE: Testing your dedication as a sub.... - 8/4/2008 7:13:06 PM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		I would do that for a partner anyway and I wasn't there submissive, nor were we kinky. I used to do it for my older brother when he was sick as kids. I considered it  showing my love for them.

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RE: Testing your dedication as a sub.... - 8/4/2008 7:15:33 PM   
AMaster


Posts: 814
Joined: 8/4/2005
Status: offline 		It is most refreshing to see a couple like you.  I have great respect for you both and wish him a speedy recovery.

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RE: Testing your dedication as a sub.... - 8/4/2008 7:17:24 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HornyToadsMI

Bossman was hurt last month.  I wont go into too many details, but I will say he broke an appendage (no, that one still works!!!)  LOL  I am having my dedication as his sub tested.  You know you are totally devoted and can read your Dom when they dont have to ask you to do things - like bring medicine, ice, hold chairs, bring meals, etc.  I even had the pleasure of washing Him (He is usually very independent).  Just my thoughts.  :)


I think that's really sweet, but I just have to point out that vanillas care for their partners like that too.  Gasp.  I don't really agree that it's bdsm specific.

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RE: Testing your dedication as a sub.... - 8/4/2008 7:26:07 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		If he were blindsiding you with his plaster-casted arm, that would be testing your dedication.  Otherwise, not so much.


Cali


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RE: Testing your dedication as a sub.... - 8/4/2008 7:32:11 PM   
TreasureKY


Posts: 3032
Joined: 4/10/2007
From: Kentucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HornyToadsMI

Bossman was hurt last month.  I wont go into too many details, but I will say he broke an appendage (no, that one still works!!!)  LOL  I am having my dedication as his sub tested.  You know you are totally devoted and can read your Dom when they dont have to ask you to do things - like bring medicine, ice, hold chairs, bring meals, etc.  I even had the pleasure of washing Him (He is usually very independent).  Just my thoughts.  :)


As others have said, it's very commendable of you but it isn't unusual for people who care for one another to do that.  It really has nothing to do with being submissive, either.  Firm has always taken very good care of me anytime I was under the weather, and there's not a submissive bone in his body.  Come to think of it, he takes pretty good care of me even when I'm just fine, too. 


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RE: Testing your dedication as a sub.... - 8/4/2008 7:36:42 PM   
CallaFirestormBW


Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline 		I have to disagree with all the folks here who are saying that this isn't testing her dedication. Yes, perhaps a vanilla lover or family member, or even a dear, close friend might do the same -- but it is different when you enter a relationship for a -specific- dynamic and something happens that makes that dynamic unfeasible AND adds a measure of work that, perhaps, one finds taxing. This is a young woman who looked at a situation and found herself growing in unexpected ways through making choices that she found both challenging and fulfilling -- I find it disconcerting that so many are so quick to dismiss the growth she has discovered, her joy in that discovery, and her pride in meeting not only her dominant's expectations but her own unknown expectations for herself as well.

To HornyToadsMI: Congratulations on a milestone. May you flourish in service.

Calla Firestorm

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RE: Testing your dedication as a sub.... - 8/4/2008 7:40:55 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW

I have to disagree with all the folks here who are saying that this isn't testing her dedication. Yes, perhaps a vanilla lover or family member, or even a dear, close friend might do the same -- but it is different when you enter a relationship for a -specific- dynamic and something happens that makes that dynamic unfeasible AND adds a measure of work that, perhaps, one finds taxing. This is a young woman who looked at a situation and found herself growing in unexpected ways through making choices that she found both challenging and fulfilling -- I find it disconcerting that so many are so quick to dismiss the growth she has discovered, her joy in that discovery, and her pride in meeting not only her dominant's expectations but her own unknown expectations for herself as well.

To HornyToadsMI: Congratulations on a milestone. May you flourish in service.

Calla Firestorm


Vanilla relationships have specific dynamics too.  And those are tested every day.  There isn't anything more special about a bdsm relationship.  We don't miraculously have the ability to love any more or differently just because we like to have our ass spanked.

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RE: Testing your dedication as a sub.... - 8/4/2008 7:44:01 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		On second thought, Calla, I think I may change my response.  If she were to bail at the first sign of some extra work and care towards her dominant, then it would be a test she failed miserably.  It would be a miserable failure of her dedication to any relationship.


Cali


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RE: Testing your dedication as a sub.... - 8/4/2008 8:48:34 PM   
CruelDesires


Posts: 824
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		Put up with His crankiness. It won't last long.

C-D

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RE: Testing your dedication as a sub.... - 8/4/2008 9:07:37 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14449
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968
Vanilla relationships have specific dynamics too.  And those are tested every day.  There isn't anything more special about a bdsm relationship.  We don't miraculously have the ability to love any more or differently just because we like to have our ass spanked.
Precisely. I'd care for him because of our commitment to each other, not because I'm his submissive. It's not any more special because of the D/s dynamic. Beyond that, he cared for me while I had pneumonia....I'm really really sure it wasn't a test of his submission to me.

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RE: Testing your dedication as a sub.... - 8/4/2008 9:10:28 PM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		My brother sprung a broken arm on me once. I'd come to visit him for his birthday and wedding an when I get off the plain I see him in a sling and a ton of bandages. They didn't put him in a cast however though cause they thought due to the severity of it, he'd loose to much use of his arm if they casted it.

Of course he was going to tell me but he called me at 6 am day of my flight an I was a bit grumpy about being woken up, and so he just said see ya when you get here go back to s*leep bye.
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

If he were blindsiding you with his plaster-casted arm, that would be testing your dedication.  Otherwise, not so much.


Cali



< Message edited by YourhandMyAss -- 8/4/2008 9:12:59 PM >

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RE: Testing your dedication as a sub.... - 8/4/2008 9:23:08 PM   
subswalow


Posts: 25
Joined: 7/14/2008
Status: offline 		Bird: I completely agree with Firestorm.
 
Can't you all just be happy for her?

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RE: Testing your dedication as a sub.... - 8/4/2008 9:44:16 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Folks might disagree with Me, but I do see some relation here.  I'm not so sure if it's a testing, exactly, but there are some good points to it.

Anticipatory service is a wonderful thing.  How many D types have sat back and thought about something that their s type did without asking for it, and that made them smile?  That recognition of getting to that place in the dynamic where you are really starting to know how the service aspects work.  That's nothing to sneeze at.

How about the fact that the OP's dynamic seems to be so much more than a role?  Here, you have a D who is not fully capable (temporarily) of doing the things he normally does.  This post makes it clear that the OP is getting to do more for the Dom than normal.

Of course, there's the last thing.  As many of us know, certain Dom's (and at least one Domme that I know) can be a bit more difficult to live with when they are sick or injured.  Putting up with that and still being pleasing about it, that's the real test.


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RE: Testing your dedication as a sub.... - 8/5/2008 11:54:52 AM   
badlilthang


Posts: 357
Joined: 6/22/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CruelDesires

Put up with His crankiness. It won't last long.

C-D


That depends entirely on how clumpsy He is...and how many more bones He might break...*L*


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RE: Testing your dedication as a sub.... - 8/5/2008 1:42:10 PM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline 		I fail to see how whether or not vanilla relationships have their convictions tested as well is relevant.

It's the point of the conviction being tested, not what the conviction is.

Just because one's devotion is expressed via Submission doesn't negate the value of the acts simply because another's devotion is expressed by a more Classical Egalitarian Love. And vice versa.



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RE: Testing your dedication as a sub.... - 8/5/2008 4:16:30 PM   
OmegaG


Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline 		FR

I've been in vanilla relationships where my partner has gotten sick and I've babied him somewhat, but not nearly to the point he would have liked.

m'Lord has already warned me that he is a lousy patient and telling him to suck up and get over himself isn't an option.  Men who are especially assertive, in my opinions, are the worst PITAs when they are sick, partially because men are babies and partially because assertive men feel frustration when they can't function as normal.

Good luck Toad.

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RE: Testing your dedication as a sub.... - 8/5/2008 4:18:42 PM   
dove967


Posts: 102
Joined: 10/28/2006
Status: offline 		Sometimes, the best thing that can happen to a Dom is to experience some dependancy on His sub. Can shed light on a different point of view.

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RE: Testing your dedication as a sub.... - 8/5/2008 5:43:31 PM   
masterofdrkness2


Posts: 1697
Joined: 3/17/2008
Status: offline 		This is the way it should be in any relationship , but with that being said , in a d/s relationship it becomes more of a test than we all would think, back in feb I had a major surgery  being unable to do any thing for a few months , my pet was called on to do more than just her normal duties she had to run the house hold (to which she stepped up and did a wonderful job ). in no way was this meant to be a test,but as it turned out it was .this turned out to be a test of her own wills and strenghts . I am not saying that submissives do not have streghts and wills, but this is a task I know mine is not use to ,  In our dynamics  she does not make these type of choices .(when bills get paid.. who gets paid. ,  what it takes to keep this house hold afloat ...ect.). from being on the other side of this I know it does make a M/D proud to see his submissive rise  up and do what I have spent many years teaching . to the OP you should be proud as should your M/D.


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Heaven from Hell,
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RE: Testing your dedication as a sub.... - 8/6/2008 3:11:20 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HornyToadsMI

Bossman was hurt last month.  I wont go into too many details, but I will say he broke an appendage (no, that one still works!!!)  LOL  I am having my dedication as his sub tested.  You know you are totally devoted and can read your Dom when they dont have to ask you to do things - like bring medicine, ice, hold chairs, bring meals, etc.  I even had the pleasure of washing Him (He is usually very independent).  Just my thoughts.  :)


So yeah, I suppose this does happen in relationships outside Ds ones too.  But honestly HTMI, I totally dig what you are saying.  As morbid as it sounds, sometimes it is moments like this that do highlight dedication to a partner.  It's the core of your post that counts, regardless of all the naysayers.
 
Sometimes, life rocks and you find that partner and they are all you ever dreamed about and you end up doing all you can and should and will and could - because you can.  But those testing times, when life sucks and your not up to your best(or one person in the relationship isn't) and you go with the flow because you have no choice... those are the lightbulb moments.
 
For a heartbeat, the fantasy is gone and reality becomes much brighter and those are the make or break moments.
Fucking rocks.
 
the.dark.

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