RE: So, you are a "Master/Mistress?" (Full Version)

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windchymes -> RE: So, you are a "Master/Mistress?" (8/2/2008 10:26:22 AM)

Ok, well what about "Owner"?   I get the impression from a lot of posts in here that "being owned" is the ultimate goal of being a slave.  It's possible to be a dominant or a Master and not own a sub or slave.  Owning things is a status symbol in the vanilla world, and the more, the better.  So, once you've reached the point where a D-type officially owns a slave, wouldn't that take them higher up in the pecking order?  Was once only a Master but am now an Owner.....?




LaTigresse -> RE: So, you are a "Master/Mistress?" (8/2/2008 10:31:09 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes

Ok, well what about "Owner"?   I get the impression from a lot of posts in here that "being owned" is the ultimate goal of being a slave.  It's possible to be a dominant or a Master and not own a sub or slave.  Owning things is a status symbol in the vanilla world, and the more, the better.  So, once you've reached the point where a D-type officially owns a slave, wouldn't that take them higher up in the pecking order?  Was once only a Master but am now an Owner.....?


I am going to play eeeeeebil devil's advocate and say, that probably depends on the quality of what exactly they own![;)]




LaTigresse -> RE: So, you are a "Master/Mistress?" (8/2/2008 10:35:04 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: UR2Badored

I wish there was "fill in the blank" option for me on the orientation preference on my profile.



How about........ one of MY favourite people in the whole world that also happens to be smart and, gorgeous inside and out!




UR2Badored -> RE: So, you are a "Master/Mistress?" (8/2/2008 10:41:54 AM)

I dont know Windchymes if you were refering to my post or not, but I dont see posts stating a slave's ultimate goal is being owned on this thread. I definitely could have missed a thing or two or three, ninety nine, etc. I do think that, in my case, I would want to be of service to another individual and not left to my own devices ie submitting in a room alone to no one.  I am not a person who needs a relationship at all, but when I submit--I need another individual to accept it....that's just me.

Thanks for clarifying below, Windchyme :)




windchymes -> RE: So, you are a "Master/Mistress?" (8/2/2008 10:47:47 AM)

No, not referring to any one thread in particular, just an overall tone in some posts over the years that I've been coming in here.

It's also not meant to accuse or flame anybody....it just popped into my head when reading this thread and I threw it out there for discussion, that's all.




UR2Badored -> RE: So, you are a "Master/Mistress?" (8/2/2008 10:47:59 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

quote:

ORIGINAL: UR2Badored

I wish there was "fill in the blank" option for me on the orientation preference on my profile.



How about........ one of MY favourite people in the whole world that also happens to be smart and, gorgeous inside and out!


Oops! I removed that sentence....I thought it left me too much as a target <ducks oncoming rotten tomatoes>.......Um...let's get a room! [8D]




LaTigresse -> RE: So, you are a "Master/Mistress?" (8/2/2008 11:30:13 AM)

Your place or mine? [;)]




UR2Badored -> RE: So, you are a "Master/Mistress?" (8/2/2008 11:56:31 AM)

I say, whoever's place is closer to Bourbon St...Hijack over, if not, I will be forced to start a "Why I adore LaTigresse" thread.

PS I blame you for my buying liver and gizzards yesterday.




Jeffff -> RE: So, you are a "Master/Mistress?" (8/2/2008 12:41:40 PM)

Lat, WILL be Mine again. She may call me.................Jeff

UnderstandingDom


edited because I still can't type




ProtagonistLily -> RE: So, you are a "Master/Mistress?" (8/2/2008 2:09:24 PM)

quote:

I've known plenty of people who cannot take care of themselves, but they are still adults.
People that cannot make a decision.
People that constantly need others in order to function.

I'm glad that you believe all adults should take care of themselves.. I am in complete agreement on that score.

And I never said that I thought the behavior was solely the trait of a Master, I only pointed out that I believe a Master should have the ability. (sorry if I wasn't quite clear on that and thanks for pointing it out!)

LJ


Gotcha, thanks for the clarification, I appreciate it.




LaTigresse -> RE: So, you are a "Master/Mistress?" (8/2/2008 3:54:28 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

Lat, WILL be Mine again. She may call me.................Jeff

UnderstandingDom


edited because I still can't type


Ward, you got some splaining to do!

June channeling Ricky




Jeffff -> RE: So, you are a "Master/Mistress?" (8/2/2008 3:55:55 PM)

Oh Juuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuune

Ward channeling Lucy




kittinSol -> RE: So, you are a "Master/Mistress?" (8/2/2008 4:02:53 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

Lat, WILL be Mine again. She may call me.................Jeff

UnderstandingDom


edited because I still can't type


Ward, you got some splaining to do!

June channeling Ricky


I just told him the very same thing: all this philandering has gotta stop.




CallaFirestormBW -> RE: So, you are a "Master/Mistress?" (8/2/2008 4:09:07 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes

Ok, well what about "Owner"?   I get the impression from a lot of posts in here that "being owned" is the ultimate goal of being a slave.  It's possible to be a dominant or a Master and not own a sub or slave.  Owning things is a status symbol in the vanilla world, and the more, the better.  So, once you've reached the point where a D-type officially owns a slave, wouldn't that take them higher up in the pecking order?  Was once only a Master but am now an Owner.....?


Ok, so I hope this is as clear in writing as it was in my head...

I don't think you can be an "owner" unless you own something. I -have- owned servants, but I am not -currently- an owner, so I guess you could say that I am an 'inactive owner' if you wanted to be specific... I have the experience, but am not currently "practicing". I do occasionally 'rent' a bottom for some playtime, and we are currently vetting some excellent prospects for servants, and, all stars and Universal currents willing, some time in the next 3-4 months we will once again have a collared servant in our HBW collar, and will be "active" owners again. I don't think that someone who has never owned a servant can call themselves an owner, just like someone who has never owned a house could be considered a 'homeowner'.

To me, Master/Mistress is synonymous with owner, except in the case where it designates someone with particular training and skills, recognized by the body of the community in which their expertise resides.

Being a "dominant", to me, is a matter of personality or an accident of birth. I have always been what I am, and the refining of what I am has only made me -more- what I am. Even a number of years living in service reinforced my own dominant personality -- something that I had to find a very creative way to make work for me in order to complete my journey to being recognized as a domina in our household. So to me, being a dominant personality does not require the input or interaction of -any- other person. It is inherent in the person, just as submission is a state of being and is inherent in the individual personality. It is something that we can use as a tool, and being dominant or submissive does not preclude any of the possible human interactions, although it -may- impact the ability to -succeed- at certain interactions without some truly creative problem-solving, and certainly impacts the ease of coping in certain interaction states.

Calla Firestorm




cloudboy -> RE: So, you are a "Master/Mistress?" (8/2/2008 6:02:26 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

Self-declaration can be a hindrance or a guide. Plenty of people call themselves things they just aren't, and they hold themselves back by trying to be that thing, instead of a higher version of themselves. On the other hand, if a med school resident says, "I'm a doctor," that might be a flat statement, or an ego-stroke -- but it might also be a way of focusing on self-improvement. ("I need to have the bedside manner of Marcus Welby, and the diagnostic skill of House.")

One exterior indication that "Master" is an accurate descriptor for Fire is the fact that a lot of other people agree with her use of the term. (Though I seem to recall "Grand Poobah" recently suggested as a replacement.)

Human beings are dynamic, not static, and people interested in personal growth set targets for themselves that they never quite reach. In the case of a title like "Master," I think the litmus test is whether someone uses it to shore themselves up and stay where they're at, or whether they use it as a way to remind themselves that "yeah, sure, I'm good, but now let me try to get a little better."



Well said. Self declarations are rife with problems, and third party evaluations are more reliable.

As for BDSM terminology, its is more useful to our imaginations than it is to decoding actual people.




KnightofMists -> RE: So, you are a "Master/Mistress?" (8/2/2008 6:48:46 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ProtagonistLily

So, are you a Dominant person, or a Master or Mistress? And if you identify as a Master or Mistress, what qualifies you?



I am a Dominant personality in general..... I am Master of my two slaves, Kyra and Alandra.....

and what qualifies me...   Well .. I do... and a few people happen to agree with me.




Prinsexx -> RE: So, you are a "Master/Mistress?" (8/4/2008 1:17:23 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ProtagonistLily

So, we've been playing with the idea of 'slave' on Leatherist's "Are you a "slave"?" thread. You know the drill, it got interesting.

A fellow traveller sent me a note and jokingly said "You'd never see a Master Vs. Dominant" thread. Ok, so now we have one.

I've honestly never really seen this in social situations the same way I've seen the Sub vs. Slave thing used to somehow create a pecking order among bottom types, those claiming to be 'slaves' do so in order to up their stock apparently, though I find it an easy way to spot a poseur myself, but perhaps thats the cynical me.

So, are you a Dominant person, or a Master or Mistress? And if you identify as a Master or Mistress, what qualifies you?

Yes, I know, I'm evil....
PL

i am slave. i distinguish between a Dominant and Master,
i feel i understand the difference and have spoken about this repeatedly on other threads,#i wanted to say here that there is one quality of being a master that i place above all others and it is the quality of integrity.
Without integrity i lose respect since there can be no trusy in sucha so0called Master on my behalf as a slave willing to maje my limits my Master;s limits.
Therefore if a master has no integrity it would be like me assuning non0integrity.
i have twice in my life asked for release in the face of such since there can be no basis for trust once a slave finds a master to be a liar, no matter at what point the revelation is made.





thetammyjo -> RE: So, you are a "Master/Mistress?" (8/4/2008 5:57:33 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes

Ok, well what about "Owner"? I get the impression from a lot of posts in here that "being owned" is the ultimate goal of being a slave. It's possible to be a dominant or a Master and not own a sub or slave. Owning things is a status symbol in the vanilla world, and the more, the better. So, once you've reached the point where a D-type officially owns a slave, wouldn't that take them higher up in the pecking order? Was once only a Master but am now an Owner.....?


That's a really good question, windchymes.

I think this is where English breaks down -- it lacks "hot"words that can be used as "hot" titles.

This is how I use titles or words when I scene to reflect different degrees of a dynamic.

If I'm just topping, I'm just TammyJo.

If I'm just domming, I'm "Milady".

If I own someone consensually then, and only then, am I "Mistress".

By having these divisions in my mind I feel like the words have greater value and meaning. But that's how we use things here, in my household.




RavenMuse -> RE: So, you are a "Master/Mistress?" (8/4/2008 6:06:21 AM)

I have a Dominant personality

I Own a girl to whom I am Master

When I have a regular playpartner I am her Dom

If a pretty young thing manages to persuaide Me to give her a flogging when I'm at a club but I don't know her beyond that, then I am a Top for the duration of that scene.

The statement "I am a Master" is simply stating that I am most naturaly suited to a TPE M/s relationship Dynamic, it doesn't preclude Me also being Dom or even Top to others depending on context.

Being Master is My natural state, where I am happiest and most fullfilled, Dom or Top is just something I DO, Master is who I AM.




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