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Doing the research - 7/28/2008 1:45:20 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		This is something of a spin off thread from another thread here.   http://www.collarchat.com/m_2033389/tm.htm

Something that caught My attention in a number of replies.  That was, the fact that a lot of folks out there in CM world do a lot more reading prior to contacting perspective friends, partners, tops, or bottoms than I do.  I seem to be in the minority in the fact that I don't read everything a person has written on the other side (meaning journal, along with profile) before contacting them to say hello or tell them that I really enjoyed something they have written on the forums.  I guess I'm just the type of person that doesn't need to know someone's whole life story to pay them a compliment or tell them that they might be fun to get to know.

How do you see it?  Is it important to read everything?  Is it important that someone reads everything about you?  Aside from the basics, partnered, looking, kinks, orientation, is it imperative that a person read everything first, and then talk second?




_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread
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RE: Doing the research - 7/28/2008 1:53:49 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline 		Actually, I could care less what someone read or did not read about me.  Things like my profile are meant as a cliff's notes of myself that may encourage/discourage someone from actually getting to know me.  Real actual conversation is what matters.  Good god, "hello", or "I liked your post" are praise I'll accept in any form thank you very much *laughs*.

(in reply to LadyPact)
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RE: Doing the research - 7/28/2008 1:59:31 PM   
gypsygrl


Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
Status: offline 		I do tend to read everything if there's anything to read. I figure if its important enough to them to have written it, its important enough for me to read it.  I think that's the s in me.

Not everyone has a paper trail, though.


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“To be happy is to be able to become aware of oneself without fright.” ~Walter Benjamin


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RE: Doing the research - 7/28/2008 1:59:48 PM   
beargonewild


Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		For myself, it's more of reading a person's posts when they reply to a posted question and how they present themselves on the forums through their many postings. I have a belief that a person's real nature does make itself known by the manner in which they formulate a rely or offer an opinion. Usually it's because of this which will rouse my curiosity to where I want to check their profile to get a better sense on that specific person. Seldom do I read someone's journal entries yet I will read the entire profile to see what they are seeking and see how many of their interests are alike to mine.


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RE: Doing the research - 7/28/2008 2:19:22 PM   
Madame4a


Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

This is something of a spin off thread from another thread here.   http://www.collarchat.com/m_2033389/tm.htm


How do you see it?  Is it important to read everything?  Is it important that someone reads everything about you?  Aside from the basics, partnered, looking, kinks, orientation, is it imperative that a person read everything first, and then talk second?





If one reads my journal you can get a bit more insight about me.  I tend to read what I can -- it allows me to do some getting to know them on my own time, if that makes sense.  Sometimes a written entry can spark some good questions or discussions.

I don't know if its important to read everything someone writes here.  I always say, you see what people put out here, some of us are more open than others and more our real selves.  But in the end, you only see what someone is willing to show.

I think there is no substitute for back and forth with someone and again, I'm someone who believes that nothing online compares to face to face and meeting people in their environment.



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You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

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RE: Doing the research - 7/28/2008 2:23:26 PM   
Misstoyou


Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: gypsygrl

I do tend to read everything if there's anything to read. I figure if its important enough to them to have written it, its important enough for me to read it.



I do it just because I'm nosy.

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~ Miss Marie

a.k.a. "mean Lady"


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RE: Doing the research - 7/28/2008 2:26:50 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

How do you see it?  Is it important to read everything?  Is it important that someone reads everything about you?  Aside from the basics, partnered, looking, kinks, orientation, is it imperative that a person read everything first, and then talk second?



can you imagine some trying to read every post that Lucky as posted... and don't forget her profile Emerald... not sure if she had others way back when.    I feel sorry for anyone that things they need to read "Everything"

I do think it might be a good Ideal to take a look at what a person posts.. but not read everything... skim it... look for some highlights... get into some topics that interest you specifically... maybe get a feel for something of the person that interests you.  It just might be that the little you read will cause you to be more interested.. or less interested. 

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Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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RE: Doing the research - 7/28/2008 2:30:54 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		I am a skimmer and perver. Especially if someone interests me in some way.

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Doing the research - 7/28/2008 2:32:02 PM   
gypsygrl


Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
Status: offline 		Ok, I don't feel the need to read everything.  I only go back 300  posts because thats how many come up when you search someone's name. If I knew how to go back further than 300 posts, I probably would.




_____________________________

“To be happy is to be able to become aware of oneself without fright.” ~Walter Benjamin


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Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Doing the research - 7/28/2008 2:32:56 PM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline 		lol, KOM, I guess I am lucky that 99% of the males that
I chat with never or rarely post on the message boards.
 
I do however usually request that they read certain threads, especially
my thread on male wives.
 
LadyPact, about 99% of the males I chat with don't post on here, and
rarely read the boards.
I usually have to direct them and give them reading assignments!
 
*I do read profiles and journals and they help me in the initial screening process.
 
 Almost everyone online tends to normally only present themselves in a "positive" light.
I believe very little of what many tend to write about themselves.

I have pre-written screening questions, that I use to help me figure out what I need to
know early on, then a series of hoops they must jump through.

To answer the OP, it is certainly NOT required that someone "research" me to shoot me
a polite email or comment.
I would find someone odd, that felt the need to do so. 

< Message edited by MzMia -- 7/28/2008 2:48:27 PM >

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to KnightofMists)
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RE: Doing the research - 7/28/2008 2:37:20 PM   
CruelDesires


Posts: 824
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		Male order brides? Is this something new that I haven't seen anywhere else?

C-D

_____________________________

Reputation is what other people know about you. Honor is what you know about yourself.
Lois McMaster Bujold, "A Civil Campaign", 1999

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Doing the research - 7/28/2008 2:38:18 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: gypsygrl

Ok, I don't feel the need to read everything.  I only go back 300  posts because thats how many come up when you search someone's name. If I knew how to go back further than 300 posts, I probably would.



Oye ve!  I feel positively lazy now.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to gypsygrl)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Doing the research - 7/28/2008 2:42:06 PM   
faerytattoodgirl


Posts: 5824
Status: offline 		ya..nobody reads my profile...they generally respond to my posts.  if i get emails not from posts they are form letters of men asking me to marry them (men from nigeria and such)

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I did not reply to your cmail.
I am flawed.
Imperfect.
MUST SPANK!!!
SPAAAAAAAANK!!!

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Doing the research - 7/28/2008 2:49:06 PM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline 		 I normally find that there is a difference between reading
what someone writes and having an actual conversation with them.
 
Often, I am thinking "Is this the same person that wrote such and such?"

< Message edited by MzMia -- 7/28/2008 3:02:39 PM >

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Doing the research - 7/28/2008 2:52:55 PM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline 		 It would be nice if more people from the other side, bothered
to read profiles before emailing!

But many don't!

Okay 1 post has turned into 3 posts, no more posting for me for a while!

< Message edited by MzMia -- 7/28/2008 2:53:40 PM >

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Doing the research - 7/28/2008 2:54:52 PM   
faerytattoodgirl


Posts: 5824
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia


Okay 1 post has turned into 3 posts, no more posting for me for a while!


starts timing...1...2...3......


_____________________________

I did not reply to your cmail.
I am flawed.
Imperfect.
MUST SPANK!!!
SPAAAAAAAANK!!!

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Doing the research - 7/28/2008 2:56:07 PM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: faerytattoodgirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia


Okay 1 post has turned into 3 posts, no more posting for me for a while!


starts timing...1...2...3......



lol, the voices doing the research, told me to stop posting for a while!

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to faerytattoodgirl)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Doing the research - 7/28/2008 2:56:47 PM   
faerytattoodgirl


Posts: 5824
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

quote:

ORIGINAL: faerytattoodgirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia


Okay 1 post has turned into 3 posts, no more posting for me for a while!


starts timing...1...2...3......



lol, the voices doing the research, told me to stop posting for a while!


that was like 15 seconds!!!!!!


_____________________________

I did not reply to your cmail.
I am flawed.
Imperfect.
MUST SPANK!!!
SPAAAAAAAANK!!!

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Doing the research - 7/28/2008 3:02:18 PM   
Evility


Posts: 915
Joined: 12/19/2007
Status: offline 		If I was looking and interested in meeting someone for a potential relationship of some sort then yes I would read as much as they have written on this site. Profile, journal and forum posts. Just to comment on a post they made or say hello or something then no I wouldn't research for that.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Doing the research - 7/28/2008 3:14:44 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Most of the men I speak to are not on the boards---though the ones I like the best are!    I tend to look back and read what a person has posted after I :meet" them, rather than before, though if I am interested in a person, chances are the postings have caught my eye anyway.  Sometimes it's helpful to see *where* they've posted, not just what. 

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



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