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Lifestyle. How far. - 7/25/2008 10:05:55 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		People are diverse on here. The kinks are endless. My questions are when is the line crossed and you go beyond what is considered the lifestyle? Given to each their own is there a line? 
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RE: Lifestyle. How far. - 7/25/2008 10:24:37 AM   
faerytattoodgirl


Posts: 5824
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quote:

My questions are when is the line crossed and you go beyond what is considered the lifestyle?


having me as your sub...


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RE: Lifestyle. How far. - 7/25/2008 11:05:44 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		It's an interesting question, but I'd have to say I live my lifestyle not the lifestyle, and anything I do for him falls under the purview of my slavery to him, so there is no line. Dare I say, this is almost like a "what are your limits" question, unless I am misunderstanding...?

There are things my Master simply won't do because he finds them immoral and/or unreasonable. His line is when something would knowingly cause me or someone else harm. He has had to wrap his head around some of the things I've asked to do.

I'd say the line is when we stop being true to ourselves and what we believe in.

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RE: Lifestyle. How far. - 7/25/2008 11:09:43 AM   
softness


Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline 		I hope I am crafting a life for myself where I can be everything that I need and desire to be. Part of that is being a slave. Part of that is being a teacher. Part of that will be being a mother some day.

My line is where I stop being what I want and need to be, and become something else.

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RE: Lifestyle. How far. - 7/25/2008 11:12:56 AM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		My conscience.
 
 

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RE: Lifestyle. How far. - 7/25/2008 12:03:12 PM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

I hope I am crafting a life for myself where I can be everything that I need and desire to be. Part of that is being a slave. Part of that is being a teacher. Part of that will be being a mother some day.

My line is where I stop being what I want and need to be, and become something else.

This is a great response i feel and one that i would have given myself. The 'line' is an akways changing finishing line.....one that i keep striving to achieve, one that is the shape of me, one that is the embodiment of me. That line has contained a great many 'women'....sister, wife, mother, teacher, friend, etc. and a greater part of that line has been what has been defined by those Masters whom i have known.....it will continue to be always defined by someone else, their expectations of me, as that is what defines me as a slave.


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RE: Lifestyle. How far. - 7/25/2008 12:12:45 PM   
Surrenderwithin


Posts: 368
Joined: 10/8/2006
Status: offline 		I do not believe that a clear line can be drawn that would be universal by any measure. To try to establish that line will certainly infringe upon the rights and choices of what is right for many.
Maggi

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RE: Lifestyle. How far. - 7/25/2008 12:25:41 PM   
Viridana


Posts: 754
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

My conscience.





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RE: Lifestyle. How far. - 7/25/2008 12:53:21 PM   
SummerWind


Posts: 314
Joined: 7/4/2007
Status: offline 		When the cops are called.........is usually a good indicator for me......

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RE: Lifestyle. How far. - 7/25/2008 1:06:38 PM   
CallaFirestormBW


Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline 		A lifestyle is nothing more than a particular way of living. There are "generic" lifestyles that come about by having a way of living that is a distinct sub-set of the way a common person would live (for example, choosing to live with a same-gender couple is indicative of being grouped with the 'gay' or 'lesbian' lifestyle, even if the individuals involved have a different orientation than "gay/lesbian".

If you're talking about a 'fetish' lifestyle, the D/s lifestyle, or the M/s lifestyle, it gets a little trickier. These may not look any different than the kind of marriage your parents may have had -- Male head of household, female who defers to him... OR it could stretch into the far reaches of the Universe.

For me, I guess that the "line" would be "is there something going on in my relationship that I would prefer to keep out of sight of the kids or the neighbors, out of concern that they'd 'misunderstand'?"

(Of course, once you cross that line, it is very possible to reach the point in the way you live where you couldn't hide it from the neighbors if you blindfolded them and hid them in their basement... of course... that might give it away, huh?)

Calla Firestorm

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RE: Lifestyle. How far. - 7/25/2008 4:35:33 PM   
masterofdrkness2


Posts: 1697
Joined: 3/17/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

My questions are when is the line crossed and you go beyond what is considered the lifestyle?


Maybe I am misunderstanding this question... but where is it defined what is in the lifestyle?... no 2 relationships are alike.. everyone decides what works for them . and live their live accordingly . I   live "my" lifestyle nothing more nothing less.


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RE: Lifestyle. How far. - 7/25/2008 5:30:26 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

People are diverse on here. The kinks are endless. My questions are when is the line crossed and you go beyond what is considered the lifestyle? Given to each their own is there a line? 


In my opinion.. there is a line..... it's when harm is occuring to the person or person's involved... the problem is becomes... how do you define Harm?.... and that is rather subjective. 

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An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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RE: Lifestyle. How far. - 7/25/2008 5:51:24 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

People are diverse on here. The kinks are endless. My questions are when is the line crossed and you go beyond what is considered the lifestyle? Given to each their own is there a line? 


I find that question almost impossible to answer because I can think of things that, for 99 out of a 100, I would consider it going too far but there will always be that exception. So, for me, the general answer is that things have gone too far when they involve nonconsenting parties.

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RE: Lifestyle. How far. - 7/25/2008 10:14:09 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		I don't understand the question.  If I go to the beach with no kinky thoughts or desires to dominate, have I crossed the line and gone beyond what's considered the lifestyle?

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RE: Lifestyle. How far. - 7/26/2008 4:50:00 AM   
Evility


Posts: 915
Joined: 12/19/2007
Status: offline 		Has there ever been a consensus reached regarding what constitutes the lifestyle?

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RE: Lifestyle. How far. - 7/26/2008 7:38:27 AM   
NorthernGent


Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

People are diverse on here. The kinks are endless. My questions are when is the line crossed and you go beyond what is considered the lifestyle? Given to each their own is there a line? 




Ideas evolve, perceptions evolve, the line evolves. To illustrate, in the event I were asked 3 years ago....."thoughts on cutting?"....I'd have said, "not my cup of tea".

I've seen the broad framework discussed on here a few times: personal ethics? conscience? the law? consent? empathy? etc......there is most definitely a line, but I'm fucked if I know where that line will be in the future. I'd say empathy is the main factor keeping me in check but I feel in full control of myself, too.....which is useful for all concerned.

I'm indifferent to this idea of a "lifestyle".......'reminds me of the Women's Institute and their collective lust to indoctrinate the minds of unsuspecting souls with chats of rural England and jam making.....the activities may vary slightly between "lifestyles", but you know what I mean.

So, verbosity aside, can you live with the consequences of particular actions? Perhaps the line is driven by the aforementioned sentiment.

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RE: Lifestyle. How far. - 7/26/2008 10:35:59 AM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		bad doms bad doms what ya gonna do  when they come for you

rofl

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RE: Lifestyle. How far. - 7/26/2008 1:33:34 PM   
RumpusParable


Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

People are diverse on here. The kinks are endless. My questions are when is the line crossed and you go beyond what is considered the lifestyle? Given to each their own is there a line? 


I really don't think so, as I think "the lifestyle" is largely imaginary -in the "so different from the 'vanilla' people" sense.  People and their relationships *are* endlessly diverse... per person, per relationship per person, per timeframe per relationship per person.  There is such infinite variety in human relations, in what people can enjoy, such a wide spectrum of what can be acceptable and healthy based on people, timing, situation, manner, viewpoint, etc. that interactions can't really be solidly and definitively labeled.

There are many who others consider "vanilla" who are much more kink and power-oriented in their relationships than many considered "lifestyle".  There are many who are "lifestyle" whose relationships function in the same manner as those who are "vanilla" but with special words attached.  There are many both "vanilla" and "lifestyle" who wish to police what falls truly into both categories... and you'd be hard pressed to find agreement between them all on where the boundaries lay -to include on the "vanilla" end and on the "too extreme, must be abuse/unhealthy therefore can't be lifestyle" end.

Personally, I live my life.  To some I've spoken with, I am very light, inexperienced, not at all what you'd consider "lifestyle".  To some, I am very extreme, an edge player, and quite "lifestyle".  Both are accurate, depending on what aspect of my life we're talking about, what actions or play skills, who I've in my life at the time, etc.

And that's largely been the case with everyone I've known well enough to make any judgement at all... life is rarely static.  "The lifestyle" is, to me, if anything, a broad catch-all phrase for anything involving not entirely everyday chat it over with your minister on first meeting (maybe on subsequent) relationship or hobby interactions that can touch on the taboo, odd or outlandish, but often in reality is quite normal and everyday behind closed doors. 

Some of what falls into it just seems silly to me.  Some of it grosses me out or scares me.  Some of it is so normal and "vanilla" that I boggle when it's talked about as though it's not.

No, I don't think we can really draw any set lines at to what is "lifestyle", be it on the end of "normal" or of "bizarre".



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RE: Lifestyle. How far. - 7/26/2008 5:46:19 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		I'm not sure I understand the question. What do you mean by "go beyond the lifestyle"?

Master Fire


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RE: Lifestyle. How far. - 7/26/2008 5:50:12 PM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

People are diverse on here. The kinks are endless. My questions are when is the line crossed and you go beyond what is considered the lifestyle? Given to each their own is there a line? 


When a dominant actually believes he/she's in charge  and a submissive actually thinks they are irrevocably enslaved.  (jmo)

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