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hizgeorgiapeach -> RE: If I had my life to live over... (7/21/2008 6:52:00 PM)
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Oh man - the ulitmate question that I've asked myself time and time again - what would I do the same or change if "do overs" weren't simply a thing of childhood games.
Let's see :
I wouldn't have walked out on my voice coach half way through my sophomore year the first time in college, despite being pissed at her for going directly against what I'd told her I wanted. I would instead of waited until the end of the semester, gotten on the plane that she wanted to put me on to Europe to finish my music training at the Conservatory in Austria. She had it all arranged - all I had to do was finish out the year, pack my bags, and go - room, board, tuition, even spending money and the plane ticket already account for and waiting for me! Problem was, I had explicitly told her I did NOT want a career On Stage - I wanted to get my teaching degree - and therefore she was absolutely NOT to make the tape of my performances and practices that she wanted to make to send collegues there. She did it anyway, got everything arranged, and then informed me I Was going to do so. At 19, it pissed me off to the point of rage, I told her to go fuck herself, walked out of her studio on campus, and never went back.
Changing that One Decision would have changed everything after that. I wouldn't have met my ex husfreak, I wouldn't have gotten pregnant with my 21 yr old, I wouldn't have spent 17 1/2 years as a single primarily stay at home parent to a severely handicapped child, I wouldn't have gone through a devestating divorce FROM the exhusfreak, wouldn't have gone through the sucession of bad relationships with absolute loosers that followed.
Instead, I would have finished my music degree, come back to the States, probably gotten hired by the Metropolitan Opera as part of the chorus, worked my way clawing and kicking through the ranks, and have been performing lead roles by now and getting ready to retire within the next 5 years.
Change a different decision, made about the time that I got pregnant with the older spawn, and I'd be retiring from the Air Force right about now. I intended to go in. I had taken the ASVAP, scored well, looked good for OCS since I had college hours behind me already - and even went for my physical. It was at my physical to go into the military that I found out I was pregnant. My instinct was to abort - instead of doing so, I asked him what His opinion was, and he was (at the time and on the surface) thrilled with the idea of becoming a father - so we ended up married instead. If I'd kept my mouth shut and followed my instincts, I would have aborted and gone ahead into the military.
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