|
MarieMauvoisin -> RE: I am not ok. (7/19/2008 6:18:04 PM)
|
I am sorry for your loss. One suggestion I have - I lost my best friend several years ago to a chronic disease. Even though it was nearly four years ago, I still miss her terribly and think about her almost every day. One way in which I cope is to write her letters. I tell her how much I miss her and let her know what's going on in my life, like I used to when she was still here. Sometimes I'll even ask for advice in the letters. Some people will tell you to burn the letters when you're done writing them, but I find them too valuable a record to do that. I just squirrel them away, or leave them at her grave. I also have a blog, and every year on the anniversary of her passing and her birthday, I write something inspired by her - either a eulogy, or my thoughts on friendship.
Take everything one day at a time. Today is painful, and tomorrow will also be painful. So will the day after that. Eventually, though, the pain will start to abate. Let yourself grieve. Give yourself three days to just feel everything, as intensely as you can. Call out of work and school and scream and cry and play loud music and cry some more and let yourself hate her and hate the world. Get drunk if you really want to. Then, when your three days are up, stop. Not necessarily stop missing her, but work on moving on with your life and returning to a certain level of emotional normalcy. In my own life, I find that allowing myself a set period of time in which I may be as sad as I wish to be helps me pick the pieces back up when my allotted time is done.
When her next birthday comes, get all your friends together for a remembrance dinner. That really helps. Even (and especially) if it's months down the road, being able to come together and remember your friend and acknowledge everything really helps.
|
|
|
|
