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First time topping.. - 7/8/2008 3:12:44 PM   
Sandyshores29718


Posts: 343
Joined: 4/8/2008
Status: offline 		My play partner a little over a week ago asked if I would like to join in a scene were I would be his "queen to his king".  I've never topped before and know I can take control. I told him I want to, for him, me, and her. I'm a little nervous. I asked him if there was anything he wanted me to do and he said to just take control along with him. Is there anything else anyone can say? Dont know if this helps, but the submissive is also a female. Shes 43 and he told me that her having to service me (someone that could be her daughter age wise) would be a form of humiliation for her. She does not know im coming, but does know that anything can happen from a gang bang, to another dom, to another female. So, this is a suprise for her. I just want to make sure everyone have a wonderful time and no one is disappointed.

< Message edited by Sandyshores29718 -- 7/8/2008 3:18:32 PM >
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RE: First time topping.. - 7/8/2008 3:51:57 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		I'm afraid not knowing anything about this person, I can give you no advice there.  Many people agree to things they have no conception of actually experiencing.  I would say make sure you know this is right for you, that you do whatever you can to make sure ahead of time that this will be a fulfilling experience for all and if that satisfies you, go for it.

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(in reply to Sandyshores29718)
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RE: First time topping.. - 7/8/2008 3:57:58 PM   
Sandyshores29718


Posts: 343
Joined: 4/8/2008
Status: offline 		Thanks. I've gave this a lot of though and plan on doing everything possible to make sure everyone has a wonderful time.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: First time topping.. - 7/8/2008 4:59:57 PM   
Maxwell67


Posts: 435
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline 		Simply this:  Tell her what you want and how you want it.  Do that, and trust your partner to keep the rest flowing smoothly.  Oh, and have fun.

(in reply to Sandyshores29718)
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RE: First time topping.. - 7/8/2008 5:03:57 PM   
Sandyshores29718


Posts: 343
Joined: 4/8/2008
Status: offline 		*smiles* lol Thanks. I told him i didnt want to ruin anything for him nor her. He laughed and said as long as i dont breakdown in mid scene then i will not ruin anything.  I'm nervous, but really excited at the same time.

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RE: First time topping.. - 7/8/2008 5:52:07 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline
If you are going to be a believable top, stop worrying about everyone else's pleasure and worry about your own.  If you are so concerned with the pleasure of everyone else and aren't even thinking about what's going to get YOUR rocks off, you'll be missing the point.

Akasha


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RE: First time topping.. - 7/8/2008 6:23:57 PM   
Sandyshores29718


Posts: 343
Joined: 4/8/2008
Status: offline 		*takes notes* Thanks :)

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RE: First time topping.. - 7/8/2008 6:34:04 PM   
MmeGigs


Posts: 706
Joined: 1/26/2008
Status: offline 		My first couple of times topping I made up a kind of script for the scene.  I'd do this and that and the other for some warm up, then X, then Y, then Z, and finish up with this, that and the other.  If I wasn't sure what would push his buttons I'd try to get a good variety of stuff in there.  My biggest fear was getting into it and having a brain freeze - I've got him on his hands and knees...  Now what?  I didn't worry too much about following the script if things were going well in some other direction, but it made me feel more confident knowing that I if something I tried didn't work well I had someplace else to go. 

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RE: First time topping.. - 7/8/2008 6:43:08 PM   
Sandyshores29718


Posts: 343
Joined: 4/8/2008
Status: offline 		=) All week long I've been thinking of things to do to her with him and ect. I have quite a few interesting ideas. =)

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RE: First time topping.. - 7/8/2008 8:35:46 PM   
jim64


Posts: 86
Joined: 10/21/2007
Status: offline 		Akasha is right. You need to be sure about your dominant behavior and follow through. You said that you already have ideas. I am sure you will have a great time.

This from someone that has never topped before. The day will come.

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RE: First time topping.. - 7/8/2008 8:50:13 PM   
daddysliloneds


Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline 		i played with a couple in a simlar fashion as what you described; i was her first attempt at switching and i think she surprised all of us at how much of a natural she was at it

the thing that made it easier for her was to be able to bottom with me and at the same time as me, as well as watching me bottom to her master.  she slowly joined him in topping me as a couple first, then she took over, and i had the most amazing time of my life!!!!!!!

a couple of times i had to snicker out loud because when we were both bent over the bed getting swats with a belt, she started crying and when she saw me get whipped by her master she would cry, and everytime she smacked me she would cry and we would both had to assure her that i liked it alot, alot, alot!  next thing you know, she was walloping my ass with the belt ablazing and sending me to heaven more times than not.

now you'd think all of us would have walked away from that happy as shit, but she did manage to have an emotional meltdown when we were all showering afterwards, and the night ended on a very uncomfortable, never to be repeated note where all the amount of after-care in the world couldn't help her for at least a month; sad but true

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RE: First time topping.. - 7/8/2008 8:52:34 PM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline 		I have co-topped with Daddy over two girls.  The first time was a bit nerve-wracking because she was a very experienced Domme who likes to bottom at times.  I followed His lead and it was ok, kinda sexy.

The other girl still submits to both of us and when she was staying with me the week of my birthday, we had lots of three-way play, with both of us topping her.  He loves the idea of me taking charge and usually just gives me a little pep talk about embracing my dominant side.  When I do that, knowing that He is happy that I have brought out the submissive and obedient side of a girl, that's a great time for both of us.  It gives me a rush, He's proud, and the girl is happy that she has done as she was told.  The first time He had me top publicly, I whispered, "Really?" and He smiled and said, "You know what you're doing and how to use the toys, now do it."  I did, people watched and enjoyed our scene, she loved it, and He was very happy.  I wish the very same for you. 

DRH

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RE: First time topping.. - 7/8/2008 8:52:43 PM   
azropedntied


Posts: 1829
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
Status: offline 		If your co-Topping with a experienced Top by your side follow  their energy and flow ,try not to over plan nor make it too complicated , and dammit have fun  .

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RE: First time topping.. - 7/8/2008 10:25:50 PM   
MisterBeast


Posts: 142
Joined: 6/26/2007
Status: offline 		Some times you just have to roll with it, get your feet wet, try somthing new. I think that is the case here, It might be a good experince if it is, enjoy it for what its worth, if it is a bad experince, learn from your mistakes, become better for it, and have better luck next time.

Somthing to keep in mind, people getting thier feelings hurt is going to be a part of life no matter what, making people happy isnt as simple as ice cream and a hug. All you can do is do your best, and keep your head on your shoulders.

Remember this though, being dominant is much less about making people happy, and more so about providing direction. Some one who is an apeaser doesnt make a very good dominant, nor can they hold a scene togeather for very long. Where as if you are a leader, and you can provide direction, then your chances of sucsess are much greater.

(in reply to azropedntied)
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RE: First time topping.. - 7/8/2008 10:46:01 PM   
Sandyshores29718


Posts: 343
Joined: 4/8/2008
Status: offline 		Thanks everyone. All noted and I shall remember. =)

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RE: First time topping.. - 7/9/2008 5:24:35 AM   
malloves69


Posts: 913
Joined: 9/15/2006
Status: offline 		after you top her ..top him too  bet he would love it ...at least i would  have fun ..mal

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RE: First time topping.. - 7/9/2008 5:33:17 AM   
Sandyshores29718


Posts: 343
Joined: 4/8/2008
Status: offline 		LOL.. Topping him would get me hurt, so thank you for the idea, but on that I shall have to pass.

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RE: First time topping.. - 7/9/2008 5:33:24 AM   
Owner4SexSlave


Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline 		Try not to get too worked up about it.  Remember to lighten up and simply have fun while you are doing this. 

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RE: First time topping.. - 7/9/2008 11:03:17 AM   
barrieboytoy


Posts: 24
Joined: 2/15/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: azropedntied

If your co-Topping with a experienced Top by your side follow  their energy and flow ,try not to over plan nor make it too complicated , and dammit have fun  .


I couldn't agree more. You're in a win-win, no pressure situation. Just kick back and watch... and when something inspires you... like you want your toes licked, or wonder what it would be like to spank her, just get on in there and do it. Relax and have fun with it... see how life is on the other side!!!

(in reply to azropedntied)
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RE: First time topping.. - 7/9/2008 2:42:50 PM   
Sandyshores29718


Posts: 343
Joined: 4/8/2008
Status: offline 		I've "topped" my vanilla bf in high school, just this is new being he will be there. Hes offen told me how much he has wanted this. I'm excited though. In a little over 24hours we shall see how things go. I trust him and know he will guide me when needed.  Thank you again everyone. :)

(in reply to barrieboytoy)
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