Pleasure or pain?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Pleasure or pain?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Pleasure or pain?

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Pleasure or pain? - 7/5/2008 1:13:00 PM

pagankinktress

Posts: 80
Joined: 8/12/2007
Status: offline

I just came across a quote that states something along the lines: "people learn best when they are either having fun or suffering".

To parlay that thought into BDSM scenarios or relationships, what do you think makes more sense for you? Would you say some of your most memorable and/or "ah-ha" moments in BDSM exchanges are rooted in that which was pleasurable or painful? Whether you're the dominant or submissive, which approach do you prefer? (This pleasure/pain dichotomy is not exclusive to realms of the physical for the purposes of my inquiry). It only matters on what your personal experience has been and means for you.

I look forward to reading your insights.

Thanks. =)

_____________________________

~ Ivy

My Blog: http://www.bohemianrhapsodize.com/
http://twitter.com/pagankinktress

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: Pleasure or pain? - 7/5/2008 1:20:31 PM

CallaFirestormBW

Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline

my biggest AhHa moments came related to pain. I'd developed a fair hand with a flogger and discipline, and had known for most of my life how to manage servants, but I felt like I didn't have a 'thing' that really drew me -- I'd gotten pretty blase, and had even stepped back for a while, debating whether I wanted to continue to be an active part of the community, until I attended a session on fireplay and one on needle/temporary piercing play -- and found that I -love- the idea of drawing blood and playing on someone's body with fire. Reality turned out to be as much fun as theory, and I discovered that I could never walk away from this aspect of my life, now that I've found my "calling".

Firestorm

_____________________________

***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer

(in reply to pagankinktress)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: Pleasure or pain? - 7/5/2008 2:40:59 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

It's hard to say, most often it's the same clue by four I've been bonked on the head with multiple times before. I'd say the most profound ones however are the ones related to pleasure/happy/fulfilling experiences.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to CallaFirestormBW)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: Pleasure or pain? - 7/5/2008 3:22:40 PM

TysGalilah

Posts: 589
Joined: 11/21/2007
Status: offline

I guess I would have to admit that most of my lifelessons and ahh-ha moments have been as a result of painful situations, either emotionally or physically.

As far as preference> " pleasure or pain" ?
yes please.

_____________________________

galilah

.."There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. " Edith Wharton

(in reply to pagankinktress)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: Pleasure or pain? - 7/5/2008 5:44:18 PM

chamberqueen

Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline

My Master's way of spanking me is to slap my butt a few times, then rub it or between my legs, then slap me again. I found myself moving my butt towards Him instead of pulling away, and even though I don't enjoy the slaps found myself dreaming about it. I let Him know of my dreams.

The next time He visited He slapped my butt while hugging me, but harder than he ever had before. There was no nice follow up rub. I found myself with tears in my eyes and pulling away from Him, feeling like I must be being punished for something.

What it taught me is that I can handle much more pain if I know that something good is coming afterward. It isn't the pain that turns me on but the reward that I know is coming. No reward - no pleasure.

Oddly, though, if He is overly nice to me during a session I feel like something is missing. I know it is different for everyone, but to me it isn't a "real" session unless there has been some of both.

_____________________________

(in reply to TysGalilah)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: Pleasure or pain? - 7/5/2008 6:55:28 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: pagankinktress

I just came across a quote that states something along the lines: "people learn best when they are either having fun or suffering".

To parlay that thought into BDSM scenarios or relationships, what do you think makes more sense for you? Would you say some of your most memorable and/or "ah-ha" moments in BDSM exchanges are rooted in that which was pleasurable or painful? Whether you're the dominant or submissive, which approach do you prefer? (This pleasure/pain dichotomy is not exclusive to realms of the physical for the purposes of my inquiry). It only matters on what your personal experience has been and means for you.

I look forward to reading your insights.

Thanks. =)

Pleasure is painful
and pain is pleasureable
I have crossed wires but the fuse is perfect......

_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to pagankinktress)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: Pleasure or pain? - 7/5/2008 7:14:30 PM

damselnthisdress

Posts: 2
Joined: 4/16/2007
Status: offline

Unfortunately, I think in life we dwell more on our pain than our pleasure.

In bdsm, I've had "aha" moments with pain, pleasure and both simultaneously :)

(in reply to pagankinktress)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: Pleasure or pain? - 7/5/2008 7:25:16 PM

NumberSix

Posts: 1378
Joined: 12/30/2006
Status: offline

I gotta take a little time
A little time to think things over
I better read between the lines
In case I need it when Im older

Now this mountain I must climb
Feels like a world upon my shoulders
I through the clouds I see love shine
It keeps me warm as life grows colder

In my life theres been heartache and pain
I dont know if I can face it again
Cant stop now, Ive traveled so far
To change this lonely life

I wanna know what love is
I want you to show me
I wanna feel what love is
I know you can show me

Im gonna take a little time
A little time to look around me
Ive got nowhere left to hide
It looks like love has finally found me

In my life theres been heartache and pain
I dont know if I can face it again
I cant stop now, Ive traveled so far
To change this lonely life

I wanna know what love is
I want you to show me
I wanna feel what love is
I know you can show me

I wanna know what love is
I want you to show me
And I wanna feel, I want to feel what love is
And I know, I know you can show me

Lets talk about love
I wanna know what love is, the love that you feel inside
I want you to show me, and Im feeling so much love
I wanna feel what love is, no, you just cannot hide
I know you can show me, yeah

I wanna know what love is, lets talk about love
I want you to show me, I wanna feel it too
I wanna feel what love is, I want to feel it too
And I know and I know, I know you can show me
Show me love is real, yeah
I wanna know what love is...

That about sums it up, no?

6

_____________________________

"Who are you?"
"The new Number Two."
"Who is Number One?"
"You are Number Six.".
"I am not a number — I am a free man!"

Be seeing you...

(in reply to damselnthisdress)

Profile

Post #: 8

RE: Pleasure or pain? - 7/5/2008 8:36:01 PM

malloves69

Posts: 913
Joined: 9/15/2006
Status: offline

pleasure for me

im not a pain slut ..unless my mistress gets in one of her moods and get the cane or crop out ..then like a good sub male i go with the flow since i have really no choice about it

she kinda reminds me whos the boss with that cane in her hands i must say

i also have some very sensitive nipples she loves to play with

sometimes when she pinches them she wont let go until im almost on my knees

she has some nice nipples too that she loves having me lick them to pleasure her then i head inbetween her sexy thighs to lick up her wetness

i swear i could be servicing her orally as much as she wants ..i never get tired of that

mal

(in reply to NumberSix)

Profile

Post #: 9

RE: Pleasure or pain? - 7/5/2008 8:39:42 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

I prefer pleasure but my biggest lessons have been through suffering. I get what the man gives me.

_____________________________

Good is the enemy of great.

(in reply to pagankinktress)

Profile

Post #: 10

RE: Pleasure or pain? - 7/5/2008 8:49:51 PM

krikket

Posts: 1183
Joined: 11/17/2004
From: Washington, DC Metro Area
Status: offline

For me it depends -- i've had brilliant flashes of "ah-ha" moments during times of immeasurable joy, and times of deep despair and paid have also brought me moments of great insight and with lessons that have stayed with me to this day. The pleasure/pain of a bdsm session have their own moments of insight and certainly influence who i am. Yet, that being said, daily life can also touch me soul deep.

_____________________________

"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom."

by A. Nin

When your heart speaks take good notes.

(in reply to malloves69)

Profile

Post #: 11

RE: Pleasure or pain? - 7/5/2008 9:27:20 PM

meticulousgirl

Posts: 969
Joined: 2/20/2007
Status: offline

pain then pleasure....i mean honestly a lot of people snub this one but, for me it's true.....

i've accepted some forms of pain that i dont necessarily like because, i know that's what a Dominant wants to do at that moment, it may be more than i can physically or emotionally take but, i cope the best that i can and even though it can almost seem unbearable at times i always walk away from a pain scene dripping wet.

i'm also known for just wanting straight up vanilla interaction from time to time (it's nice to just feel normal once and a while) i so wish i was at 125 right now........grrrr (soon very soon)

~meticulous~

(in reply to krikket)

Profile

Post #: 12

RE: Pleasure or pain? - 7/6/2008 1:27:29 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

There is another view which complemnents the one the OP used: "You must suffer to learn".. Life has proven this for me time after time. It does somewhat depend what you term suffering though. However there is such a close relationship between pain and pleasure which extends into all aspects of our lives that is supprises me not that moments of enlightment may arrive with either pain and/or pleasure. After all the pleasure in some sporting event which you are participating in where you have doner something magick is often painfull too. Such as landing a telling blow in one of the combat sports may entail taking a painfull and even bloody blow.

IB
(The incorrigible, irrepressible and irreverent Bear)

(in reply to meticulousgirl)

Profile

Post #: 13