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Does this really happen? - 7/4/2008 8:09:30 PM   
Maxwell67


Posts: 435
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline 		I logged in just a few moments ago and the first profile that comes up has a picture of a woman (in underwear, sans head.. not that this is a problem) and text by her 'husband' looking for someone to capture her, cage her, and turn her into a 'no limits' slave for him.  Ok, it might be that she is willing and the capture and all the rest is some role play fantasy, but it does not mention that part and I get the impression that not the case. 

Now I am of the general belief that if all the participants are informed, consenting adults, then fine.  I am not going to pass judgement on someone elses kink.  But without any more information, this was just offensive to me on so many levels I cannot begin to count them.  So, admittedly I have not been in this community very long, and I do not know what the standards are for this sort of thing.. perhaps there was some kind of fetish code in the text I did not understand that made it clear it was a joke or part of a role play or something..

Can anyone weigh in on this one with information that might enlighten me as to what is going on there?

< Message edited by Maxwell67 -- 7/4/2008 8:28:01 PM >
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Does this really happen? - 7/4/2008 8:14:21 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		More than likely it was for role play....... if it wasn't, let's hope she can run fast.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to Maxwell67)
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RE: Does this really happen? - 7/4/2008 8:16:43 PM   
MissSCD


Posts: 1185
Joined: 3/10/2007
Status: offline 		Sure there are people out there who do this, but what will happen is that she will be the trainer's slave and leave her husband.
Seen it a bunch when I had my message board.
He is wanting a threesome out of the deal.
Just my thoughts.

Regards, MissSCD

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Does this really happen? - 7/4/2008 8:18:12 PM   
DomMeinCT


Posts: 2355
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Maxwell67

....I do not know what the standards are for this sort of thing..


There are no standards for any of this - everyone has their own.  As you pointed out, this made you uncomfortable, but it seems that for two people at least, it's well within their standards.

_____________________________

The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances:
if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
~ Carl Jung

(in reply to Maxwell67)
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RE: Does this really happen? - 7/4/2008 8:26:07 PM   
Maxwell67


Posts: 435
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline 		Alright then.  Just checking.  Thanks.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissSCD

Sure there are people out there who do this, but what will happen is that she will be the trainer's slave and leave her husband.



Assuming she is a willing participant, this is what I would expect to happen as well.

(in reply to MissSCD)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Does this really happen? - 7/4/2008 10:30:08 PM   
Termyn8or


Posts: 18681
Joined: 11/12/2005
Status: offline 		Be VERY WARY of this situation if you decide to go for it. Make fucking sure you know the people very well and that what you are doing what is consentual.

I say this, and I will bring up a sordid subject, but we do not need another black eye. A while back a guy come on here, registered as his ex olady and said she wanted a rape scene. She got raped. Don't let anything like this happen, be sure before you do anything, that everything is as it seems.

I am not saying don't do it, just make fucking sure that it is consentual.

With that being said, and it needed to be said, on the lighter side......
It sounds like the job of a trainer, like a dog trainer or something. I don't see how the Dominant would not be able to accomplish the results on their own. That makes me a bit suspicious on it's own. In other words what makes you think you can spank her any better or whatever ?

Is it legal on CM to post the name so we can view this profile ? I know you're watching, but this is not a private message or an email, is that alright ? Another of my many questions.

Just be careful out there.

T

(in reply to Maxwell67)
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RE: Does this really happen? - 7/5/2008 1:18:43 AM   
HarryVanWinkle


Posts: 1720
Joined: 5/8/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissSCD
Sure there are people out there who do this, but what will happen is that she will be the trainer's slave and leave her husband.


If this profile, which I've also seen, is really about what it says, I'd say she's more likely to have both the husband and the "trainer" sent to prison for a long, LONG time.  That is, if she survives and eventually escapes.

(in reply to MissSCD)
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RE: Does this really happen? - 7/5/2008 10:49:10 AM   
MmeGigs


Posts: 706
Joined: 1/26/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Maxwell67
But without any more information, this was just offensive to me on so many levels I cannot begin to count them.  So, admittedly I have not been in this community very long, and I do not know what the standards are for this sort of thing.. perhaps there was some kind of fetish code in the text I did not understand that made it clear it was a joke or part of a role play or something..

Can anyone weigh in on this one with information that might enlighten me as to what is going on there?


There are folks who stage kidnapping, rape, etc. to fulfill a fantasy.  It's generally done with people you know in some reasonably safe and controlled way and is a hell of a lot of fun for everyone involved.  This isn't the kind of thing I'd be enlisting strangers for, but if the couple whose profile you saw asked for advice I'd suggest that they get involved with their local kinky community and get to know people.  Over time they'll likely find folks they can trust who will help them to live this fantasy out.

You'll likely find that there are a lot of things going on in the kinky world that will offend or bother you on some level.  I don't think that there's a kinky person out there who is completely okay with everything that their fellow kinkyfolk do.  There are things that folks do that squick me, and things that I do that squick others.  My take on this is that if I believe that it's up to me and my partner(s) to determine what is and is not okay for us, I have to accept that everyone else gets to do the same.  If we were willing to let other people define what's okay and what's not for us, we'd all be living vanilla, no?  Unless they're asking for my opinion, inviting me to join in or what they're doing is so inalterably dangerous or irretrievably stupid that I'm going to call the authorities or personally intervene to stop them, it's none of my business. 

(in reply to Maxwell67)
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RE: Does this really happen? - 7/5/2008 10:52:24 AM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Id be mre inclined to believe this guy is waiting to get email for wank fodder and little more. Its a fantasy of his to see it doen and he'll get off on the replies until someone gets inside his comfort sone and hten he'll bolt.
Just my take, of course.

DV


_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to MmeGigs)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Does this really happen? - 7/5/2008 11:15:49 AM   
BRNaughtyAngel


Posts: 1821
Status: offline 		There are so many BDSM themed erotica stories about husbands being tired of bitchy, princess wives..... and end up finding someone who knows someone, whose next door neighbors dog groomer knows someone who happens to have a remote slave training castle. 

They bring in some horny thugs to kidnap the wife, cart her off to the castle where she is used, abused and "trained" into the most perfect slave wife ever.

Maybe this dude has been reading too much erotica?

(in reply to Maxwell67)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Does this really happen? - 7/5/2008 11:38:03 AM   
Maxwell67


Posts: 435
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MmeGigs

There are folks who stage kidnapping, rape, etc. to fulfill a fantasy.  It's generally done with people you know in some reasonably safe and controlled way and is a hell of a lot of fun for everyone involved.  This isn't the kind of thing I'd be enlisting strangers for, but if the couple whose profile you saw asked for advice I'd suggest that they get involved with their local kinky community and get to know people.  Over time they'll likely find folks they can trust who will help them to live this fantasy out.


This idea does not offend me at all.  But the profile did not make it at all clear this was role play.  It looked like this guy really wanted someone to pull up in a van and kidnap his totally vanilla wife against her will and haul her away and then keep her in a cage and try to turn her into a ravening sex slave ... and that is what I found offensive (note:  I have nothng against ravening sex slaves, either, if that is what they want to be, but the thought you could turn a woman who was not at all into this sort of thing into one.. No) .. that and the idea that he could find someone here on this site that would agree to do it.

If it had been clear that they wanted advice or help in role playing this scenario as a fantasy that all concerned were agreeable to, that would have been entirely different, and I never would have made this post at all.

I posted asking about it because I am new to this site (I have been here only a few days), and before I reported it as offensive and tried to get it removed, I wanted to be sure I was not just overreacting to something that I simply misread.

< Message edited by Maxwell67 -- 7/5/2008 11:42:47 AM >

(in reply to MmeGigs)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Does this really happen? - 7/5/2008 11:43:08 AM   
welcomerain


Posts: 63
Joined: 5/28/2008
From: Toronto
Status: offline 		If we're all talking about the same profile, the man writing it didn't seem any more familiar with BDSM conventions (or common sense) than his vanilla wife.

At best it's wank fodder for the guy. At worst, the man will contact an equally ignorant third party to do the kidnapping and at least one of the three will garner a Darwin award.

If the wife isn't aware of what hubby is doing, he'll be lucky if he gets off with a divorce, in my opinion.

(in reply to Maxwell67)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Does this really happen? - 7/5/2008 12:09:53 PM   
HarryVanWinkle


Posts: 1720
Joined: 5/8/2006
Status: offline 		Provided the wife actually exists, which I doubt.

(in reply to welcomerain)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Does this really happen? - 7/5/2008 12:34:51 PM   
Maxwell67


Posts: 435
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HarryVanWinkle

Provided the wife actually exists, which I doubt.


Point taken.  I was perhaps naive to think she even might.  What idiot would put themselves at such obvious risk as to solicit that kind of thing in such a well known public site as CM if it was for real?

(in reply to HarryVanWinkle)
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RE: Does this really happen? - 7/5/2008 1:08:16 PM   
MmeGigs


Posts: 706
Joined: 1/26/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Maxwell67
If it had been clear that they wanted advice or help in role playing this scenario as a fantasy that all concerned were agreeable to, that would have been entirely different, and I never would have made this post at all.

I posted asking about it because I am new to this site (I have been here only a few days), and before I reported it as offensive and tried to get it removed, I wanted to be sure I was not just overreacting to something that I simply misread.


It's a heck of a big can of worms you're thinking about opening here.  You have no clear evidence that these folks are looking for an SSC kind of experience, which apparently has led to your concern, but on the other paw you have no clear evidence that they're not.  Lots of folks put up hot, sexy profiles that don't include info about the precautions they're taking in their search to fulfill their fantasy.  Why assume the worst? 

I guess the question you need to ask yourself is why this is offensive to you and why you feel a need to intervene.  Do you feel that these people need to include safety disclaimers in their profile?  Do you believe that without these disclaimers we should assume the worst?  Do you feel that this should apply to anyone whose profile indicates that they're seeking something edgy or offensive, and if so, who decides what's edgy or offensive, and how many disclaimers are appropriate?   More to the point, do you feel that your complaint will prevent them from doing something stupid or dangerous?  If you're that concerned and conflicted about this particular couple, why not contact them and find out what they're about rather than filing a relatively anonymous complaint?

I'm not trying to be combative here, but I am trying to challenge your thinking on this.  I don't think that any of us is qualified to judge complete strangers whose motivations and relationships we know nothing about other than what they've put in their CM profile.

(in reply to Maxwell67)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Does this really happen? - 7/5/2008 1:43:22 PM   
Maxwell67


Posts: 435
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MmeGigs
It's a heck of a big can of worms you're thinking about opening here.  You have no clear evidence that these folks are looking for an SSC kind of experience, which apparently has led to your concern, but on the other paw you have no clear evidence that they're not.  Lots of folks put up hot, sexy profiles that don't include info about the precautions they're taking in their search to fulfill their fantasy.  Why assume the worst? 

Ahh, but my posting here actually proves that I did not assume the worst.  If I had I would have reported the profile and been done with it, since solicitation to kidnapping is a felony.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MmeGigs
I guess the question you need to ask yourself is why this is offensive to you and why you feel a need to intervene. 

I only saw it as offensive if it were the real deal , and I should think that my reasons for finding an actual solicitation to kidnapping to be offensive would be obvious.  I suppose I should be asking you why you would not find such a thing offensive, hmmm? 

quote:

ORIGINAL: MmeGigs
Do you feel that these people need to include safety disclaimers in their profile? 

I am new here, and I was not going to make assumtions about such protocols, so part of my reasoning for posting this was to find out that very thing.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MmeGigs
Do you believe that without these disclaimers we should assume the worst? 

see above answer

quote:

ORIGINAL: MmeGigs
Do you feel that this should apply to anyone whose profile indicates that they're seeking something edgy or offensive, and if so, who decides what's edgy or offensive, and how many disclaimers are appropriate?  

again, see above

quote:

ORIGINAL: MmeGigs
More to the point, do you feel that your complaint will prevent them from doing something stupid or dangerous? 

Nope, but it might protect this website from some sort of litigation had it been the real deal, and I am coming to like this website, so really it was more of a courtesey thing.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MmeGigs
If you're that concerned and conflicted about this particular couple, why not contact them and find out what they're about rather than filing a relatively anonymous complaint?

Had they been the real deal, I would have preferred not to give them an excuse to perv my profile, or try to get in touch with me, and to be honest I did think about that for a few seconds, but found the thought of letting them know anyone was paying attention to them distateful.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MmeGigs
I'm not trying to be combative here, but I am trying to challenge your thinking on this. 

Oh come on, you are too trying to be combative, (or if not, I would hate to see what rates as combative for you) but I don't mind.  I do not think this line of qustioning was mean spirited, and in fact I found it amusing and sort of fun.  I was captain of my debate team in high school, and it has been a while, but I really enjoy this sort of game.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MmeGigs
I don't think that any of us is qualified to judge complete strangers whose motivations and relationships we know nothing about other than what they've put in their CM profile.

Yet people do it all the time.  Every time they look at a profile a judgement is made about whether or not those people are worth contacting,  if they should be ignored, if it should be reported, yadda, yadda, yadda...   If no one judged them, why would anyone bother to put them up there in the first place?  Is that not the whole point?

Oh that was fun!  Wanna do it some more?

< Message edited by Maxwell67 -- 7/5/2008 1:46:26 PM >

(in reply to MmeGigs)
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RE: Does this really happen? - 7/5/2008 1:55:36 PM   
ServingGirrl


Posts: 115
Joined: 10/10/2007
From: Melbourne, Australia
Status: offline 		If the profile offends you, report it.   If enough people get the same feeling as you, it will be removed.    

i doubt that there is anything in actuality which could be done to legally prevent anything happening whether or not it is a fantasy roleplay (assuming these people are real which i make no judgement on) so i would make my report if i felt so aggrieved it was necessary, move on and let the matter rest there.  

i remember being contacted by one couple who seemed quite interested in me, and me in them, til they started telling me all about their dogs and how i might enjoy playing with them - and they didn't mean throwing a stick for them to fetch.   Now, if that floats their boat good luck to them but the idea grosses me out totally.   i didn't report them even though it is illegal because it wasn't in their profile and besides, just because i find it gross doesn't mean you or the next person wouldn't think it was the offer from heaven.   To each their own, and life goes on.

(in reply to Maxwell67)
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RE: Does this really happen? - 7/5/2008 2:01:11 PM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Maxwell67

I logged in just a few moments ago and the first profile that comes up has a picture of a woman (in underwear, sans head.. not that this is a problem) and text by her 'husband' looking for someone to capture her, cage her, and turn her into a 'no limits' slave for him.  Ok, it might be that she is willing and the capture and all the rest is some role play fantasy, but it does not mention that part and I get the impression that not the case. 

Now I am of the general belief that if all the participants are informed, consenting adults, then fine.  I am not going to pass judgement on someone elses kink.  But without any more information, this was just offensive to me on so many levels I cannot begin to count them.  So, admittedly I have not been in this community very long, and I do not know what the standards are for this sort of thing.. perhaps there was some kind of fetish code in the text I did not understand that made it clear it was a joke or part of a role play or something..

Can anyone weigh in on this one with information that might enlighten me as to what is going on there?
  

This is the problem with this "lifestyle".  You just don't know for sure. No one can judge lest they be declared "close minded".  There could be one heck of a lunatic claiming they are just a hardcore TPE edge player and be held in esteem, when in reality.. you might eventually find them featured on "Most Evil" rated as a 22.
 
You just have to use your own common sense as to what is acceptable and then it can only be applied to you.  All you can do is hope and pray.

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.


(in reply to Maxwell67)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Does this really happen? - 7/5/2008 2:13:14 PM   
Maxwell67


Posts: 435
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

quote:

ORIGINAL: Maxwell67
Can anyone weigh in on this one with information that might enlighten me as to what is going on there?
  

This is the problem with this "lifestyle".  You just don't know for sure. No one can judge lest they be declared "close minded".  There could be one heck of a lunatic claiming they are just a hardcore TPE edge player and be held in esteem, when in reality.. you might eventually find them featured on "Most Evil" rated as a 22.
 
You just have to use your own common sense as to what is acceptable and then it can only be applied to you.  All you can do is hope and pray.

Thank you LotusSong.  That was enlightening, and very much appreciated.

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Does this really happen? - 7/5/2008 2:17:27 PM   
Madame4a


Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline 		It might just might be about titillation... they discuss it with someone.. get off on it and never follow through.. and it could all be fake.

_____________________________

You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

(in reply to Maxwell67)
Profile   Post #: 20
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