Plagiarists and wannabes...and asexual D/s

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L8bloomer -> Plagiarists and wannabes...and asexual D/s (6/29/2008 10:08:20 PM)
I know it goes against the TOS to "out" people on here who are less than sincere, but I guess it can't hurt to vent a little, can it? :D I received a message from a member here who rather impressed me with the profile he included. (He keeps his profile hidden, so I wasn't able to perv it to see what other tidbits he may have written down about himself.) We exchanged only a few messages, but I was interested in getting to know more about him. Then, whilst reading various posts on collarchat, I came across a post from a member that I remembered from the first time I joined collarme. (This is my second foray into the collarme realm...ready for further punishment! L) I perved his profile to refresh my memory. Well, much to my surprise, I discovered his profile sounded very familiar to me. My memory ain't that great to recall it from the first time I was a member of collarme! Then it struck me as to where I had read those words before...in the messaged profile from the Dom I had been exchanging messages with. I re-read his initial message and the profile of this other Dom, who has since confirmed he and this other guy are not one in the same. While some of it was paraphrased, a good portion was lifted word for word from this other Dom's profile. I messaged the Dom I had been exchanging messages with, about what I'd found out. His only response was that he was troubled by it too. I haven't heard from him since. Truth be told, I'm more amused than angry over it. After all, we had only exchanged a few messages and that was it. But why would someone do that? I've seen profiles by subs that perfectly express some of my wants, yet I wouldn't think of ripping off their words. Oi! Then there is another man I have communicated with. I'm sure he's a wannabe. He expressed surprise over a particular act I was more than willing to do. And quite frankly, this particular thing isn't that big a deal and something that I'm sure any male Dominant would likely expect from his submissive/slave when their relationship involves sex. Which leads me to another question. I suppose I could have started another thread, but I decided to be economical by combining my comments and this question into one. That way, with two subject matters, chaos will abound and this thread will likely spiral out of control and evolve into something entirely different than what it was originally. :D hee! I know there is a wide spectrum of people, practices and preferences in this lifestyle, ranging from relatively tame to very extreme. And somewhere in that mix, I know there are those who have a form of D/s that doesn't involve anything sexual. And I wonder about that because just hearing that he wants to tie me up gets me all tingly...and knowing that I have done something to please him also provides a sort of sexual stimulus within me. So is there no sexual arousal involved in an asexual form of D/s? Or is it there but neither party indulges in it with each other? Perhaps they save it for a significant other? I await the responses of the masses! Okay...so...maybe not the masses but posts from those taking the time to read this. ;)

Leatherist -> RE: Plagiarists and wannabes...and asexual D/s (6/29/2008 10:14:48 PM)
It's about the same as dumbass subs who parrot everything they know about d/s from "castle realm". Because they really are too ignorant to figure it out for themselves. This venue attracts all kinds of basket cases.

candystripper -> RE: Plagiarists and wannabes...and asexual D/s (6/29/2008 10:38:32 PM)
Well, I don't share Leatherist's dim view of castle realm; I think it has some good info on it. Frankly, it suits me better than some other popular web sites like steeldoor, which evidentially has gone down anyway. Plagarism is lying and stealing, all in one fell swoop. Whether you are stealing from another's profile or stealing from the 'net, without proper attribution and cues that the words are not your own - and the author's permission when necessary -- a plagarist has lied and stolen someone else's work. I don't allow liars and thieves into my life if I can help it. The whole game of 'hiding' a profile then sending a copy of it in email smacks of 'up to no good' anyway. I doubt I'd have responded, but hey, I have responded to dumber stuff. I can't answer any questions about 'asexual BDSM'. Unless the Dom is impotent I don't get why it even occurs, and with such an explosion in new drugs to treat ED, there are presumably fewer and fewer impotent Doms. Those that are can still have satisfying sex lives -- for both themselves and their partners. Just takes patience and understanding and desire. Since I wouldn't even date a Dom with a so, I can't speak to that either. I'm sure I'll be chastised for not 'accepting' 'asexual BDSM', etc., but just because something continues to baffle me does not mean I intend to disrepect anyone who engages in the behavior. candystripper

Leatherist -> RE: Plagiarists and wannabes...and asexual D/s (6/29/2008 10:40:09 PM)
I have a pretty dim view of people who get into an alternate lifestyle to explore new frontiers in conformity.

Owner4SexSlave -> RE: Plagiarists and wannabes...and asexual D/s (6/29/2008 10:43:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Leatherist It's about the same as dumbass subs who parrot everything they know about d/s from "castle realm". Because they really are too ignorant to figure it out for themselves. This venue attracts all kinds of basket cases. I really never read anything from "castle realm"... I read 3/4 of the first GOR book then it started to bore me. Anyways, the key part is "figure it out for yourself". Too many people get hung up on fantasy and stereotypes, that they forget about making room for reality and who they really are. You know stuff besides BDSM, sex, kink and D/s. It's what you make of BDSM and what's right for you. To find somebody who has similar interests and simply do it.

Leatherist -> RE: Plagiarists and wannabes...and asexual D/s (6/29/2008 10:45:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Owner4SexSlave quote: ORIGINAL: Leatherist It's about the same as dumbass subs who parrot everything they know about d/s from "castle realm". Because they really are too ignorant to figure it out for themselves. This venue attracts all kinds of basket cases. I really never read anything from "castle realm"... I read 3/4 of the first GOR book then it started to bore me. Anyways, the key part is "figure it out for yourself". Too many people get hung up on fantasy and stereotypes, that they forget about making room for reality and who they really are. You know stuff besides BDSM, sex, kink and D/s. It's what you make of BDSM and what's right for you. To find somebody who has similar interests and simply do it. Exactly. I'd think of someone who thought they could live "star trek" as a basket case too.

candystripper -> RE: Plagiarists and wannabes...and asexual D/s (6/29/2008 10:54:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Leatherist quote: ORIGINAL: Owner4SexSlave quote: ORIGINAL: Leatherist It's about the same as dumbass subs who parrot everything they know about d/s from "castle realm". Because they really are too ignorant to figure it out for themselves. This venue attracts all kinds of basket cases. I really never read anything from "castle realm"... I read 3/4 of the first GOR book then it started to bore me. Anyways, the key part is "figure it out for yourself". Too many people get hung up on fantasy and stereotypes, that they forget about making room for reality and who they really are. You know stuff besides BDSM, sex, kink and D/s. It's what you make of BDSM and what's right for you. To find somebody who has similar interests and simply do it. Exactly. I'd think of someone who thought they could live "star trek" as a basket case too. Well, I guess I'm more accepting. At one point we were all brand new and did not know diddly, just full of questions. I remember reading castle realm and thinking "Wow! Doms! These are the guys I've been looking for all my life!' Sounds pretty naive I know -- and I was fortunate to find a Mentor almost immediately who cleared up that confusion -- but to dismiss someone for being naive or new or excitable seems mean. And a tad hypocritical, as I imagine everyone has had their own 'a ha!' moment when discovering D/s -- so why shouldn't anyone else? Nothing above excuses plagarism, though. That remains a complete 'no feaking way' kinda thing for me. candystripper

Leatherist -> RE: Plagiarists and wannabes...and asexual D/s (6/29/2008 10:56:28 PM)
I've never been much of a sheeple. When people try to play this silly mind control shit on me-I naturally look at it askance. Which is why I tend to want to do things my way. You want me to do things YOUR way? Pay me.

rook42 -> RE: Plagiarists and wannabes...and asexual D/s (6/29/2008 11:42:31 PM)
Aside: The trick, Leatherist, is not to be parroting... but rather parody-ing. Sometimes I think that maybe people should look between the net, their life, and themselves, and pick which they'd like to take most seriously. On the bright side, ignorance can be cured; stupidity and flaws of character cannot, to my knowledge. As far as asexual D/s is concerned... Look at the self-help market. People are always trying to find ways, legitimate or not, to improve themselves, and find a better way to live. If you believe your service has a personal value for you, then you'll obviously serve. If you believe an individual to be superior to you or worthy of respect, then you'll respect them; your genitals don't have to be looking over your shoulder to tell you that you'd like them to be pleased, and your genitals don't always have the ability to confer respect.

Owner4SexSlave -> RE: Plagiarists and wannabes...and asexual D/s (6/30/2008 12:37:29 AM)
I'm a pretty sexual person, however there are asexual aspects of D/s... well that give me the warm and fuzzy at times. There's also believe it or not days when it's far from the warm and fuzzy feeling (truth be known). The warm and fuzzy is not sexual. It's a bit like putting down a glass of wine that totally sits really well inside of you. Not everything D/s makes my cock hard and want to bend somebody over the kitchen table. Mind you, all this is coming from somebody with a high sex drive (it's paradox I admit). Even certain protocols and rituals give me a warm and fuzzy feeling to.. A certain headspace, that's a bit intoxicating at times. However, there are moments when it's not all that warm and fuzzy as well. All depends upon the mood, what's going on in life at the time. At times, it's the not the feeling, but the knowing that somebody is there for you 100%. This is not a D/s thing per se. However, one thing I've noticed personally about things is a connection. Hard to express in words. It's anything but sexual, regardless of how much sex in involved.

chamberqueen -> RE: Plagiarists and wannabes...and asexual D/s (6/30/2008 7:05:07 AM)
OP, to comment on the second half of what you said, I used to Domme men but not allow them to touch me sexually. They were highly aroused by nonsexual things that I was doing with them, and I would allow them to masturbate at the end of the session, but the session did not revolve around sex. (I chose not to allow them to touch me sexually because I found that I could not be as domineering while being sexually pleased.) It is not uncommon for someone to be turned on by something that is not overtly sexual on its own. I don't think of a spanking as particularly sexual, but if a man puts himself over my lap with his member between my knees I find him humping me during the spanking. That appeals to my perverse nature - a new twist on pleasure on pain.

ELUSIVE1 -> RE: Plagiarists and wannabes...and asexual D/s (6/30/2008 4:45:23 PM)
a good friend of mine writes for Leather Magazine..he wrote an amazing article about being a Dominant Partner...someone here on c/m used his words for his profile (The writer is from TN, the thief was from Hawaii)...anyway, he went to the powers that be at c/m and they corrected the issue...if the person really is stealing the material report it to c/m-

Lordandmaster -> RE: Plagiarists and wannabes...and asexual D/s (6/30/2008 4:53:38 PM)
I've seen lots of plagiarized profiles. In fact, the next time a profile catches your eye, take a moment to type a few of the less common words into Google and see whatcha get. You might be surprised. quote: ORIGINAL: L8bloomer I received a message from a member here who rather impressed me with the profile he included. (He keeps his profile hidden, so I wasn't able to perv it to see what other tidbits he may have written down about himself.) We exchanged only a few messages, but I was interested in getting to know more about him. Then, whilst reading various posts on collarchat, I came across a post from a member that I remembered from the first time I joined collarme. (This is my second foray into the collarme realm...ready for further punishment! L) I perved his profile to refresh my memory. Well, much to my surprise, I discovered his profile sounded very familiar to me. My memory ain't that great to recall it from the first time I was a member of collarme! Then it struck me as to where I had read those words before...in the messaged profile from the Dom I had been exchanging messages with. I re-read his initial message and the profile of this other Dom, who has since confirmed he and this other guy are not one in the same. While some of it was paraphrased, a good portion was lifted word for word from this other Dom's profile. I messaged the Dom I had been exchanging messages with, about what I'd found out. His only response was that he was troubled by it too. I haven't heard from him since. Truth be told, I'm more amused than angry over it. After all, we had only exchanged a few messages and that was it. But why would someone do that? I've seen profiles by subs that perfectly express some of my wants, yet I wouldn't think of ripping off their words. Oi!

MusicalBoredom -> RE: Plagiarists and wannabes...and asexual D/s (6/30/2008 6:03:14 PM)
In regards to people plagiarizing, I'm sure it happens all of the time. It doesn't even seem as bad to me as people stealing other's pictures and claiming the image as their own. Both are bad, both are from players and both happen all over the internet. Some of the people here are actually trying to meet people they actually get along with in the real world sense. Others are just here for something more fantasy oriented or something. Still others are so afraid that being real will equate to being rejected that all they can do is be someone else. It's the nature of internet sites where people are interacting with other people to have a lot of players. They also end up with a lot of real people. I just try to explore what I like and ignore the rest. I also understand the asexual part. In addition to the actual relationship I'm in I also have some where D/s is involved but where no actual sex is involved. One is with a college student who comes here to study. She studies then wants to go play I usually say something like "that's it young lady, you go stand in that corner and think about what you should be doing right now." She goes blushes, giggles and goes to the corner. After a few moments she pouts and turns around and asks if she can sit back down and finish her work. That one has been going on for a few years now. I have never even touched her except to give her a hug but there is a "dynamic" at work there. I know there are some sexual feelings during the exchange but we don't even discuss those much less act on them. Another I spank on a fairly regular basis but we have never even kissed much less fooled around in the traditional sense. I do spank her bare and I have bound her. Unlike the other relationship, we do talk about being turned on but leave that to other outlets. We are both in relationships with other people who know what we do. Of course there are many other activities that are turn ons for me but I don't have to go have sex or jerk off when I do them. Things like buying new rope at the marine store, making a new paddle or even whipping the ends of a new rope are definite hot buttons for me that don't end up in the need for a sexual release. I'm sure all of us could expand that list.

sub4hire -> RE: Plagiarists and wannabes...and asexual D/s (7/1/2008 10:35:35 AM)
What makes you believe the two are not the same person? I rarely see anything even remotely worth stealing from anyone. Seems if you did steal someone elses words you're only asking for trouble. Aside from not being able to live up to them...you also have copyright infringement...etc.

DesFIP -> RE: Plagiarists and wannabes...and asexual D/s (7/1/2008 10:50:38 AM)
Plagarism always has been and always will be. Especially when there's no legal recourse. I'm more concerned about your declaring this other guy a wannabe because he isn't into anal sex or whatever. Maybe his ex had IBD so he never got to try it. Maybe the fact that you can't do it without getting scat on his penis is a turn off. Whatever it is, labeling him a wannabe instead of asking why not doesn't show you to be a particularly open minded person.

bipolarber -> RE: Plagiarists and wannabes...and asexual D/s (7/1/2008 4:25:36 PM)
I have to admit, after a lifetime of reading erotica, of absorbing as many books as I can on the subjects of BDSM and sex in general, and attending quite a few events... I DO occasionally lift a phrase here and there.... I certainly don't try to take entire passages and claim them as my own... But when you read something like "his cock unfurled, and it appeared to be the size and thickness of a child's forearm." (Aaron Travis) ... it sticks with you! And it will end up in your own writing somewhere... If I quote from someone extensively, I do my best to give credit where credit is due. I try to ask myself... if I were the original author of what I'm saying, would it be enough to warrant a quote? Generally, if it's more than a single sentance... yes!

RumpusParable -> RE: Plagiarists and wannabes...and asexual D/s (7/1/2008 8:13:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: L8bloomer So is there no sexual arousal involved in an asexual form of D/s? Or is it there but neither party indulges in it with each other? Perhaps they save it for a significant other? For me, a good 90% or more of my D/s is non-sexual. Meaning I get no arousal at all from it. There are those rare exceptions, but non-sexual/no-arousal is the norm for me. Heck, even those times where the relationship does involve arousal (whether or not it's acted on with them) it's not from the D/s, it's that that person arouses me while we just happen to have a D/s relationship structure.... D/s is just a relationship type that is comfortable, natural and happy-making for me with some people.

IronBear -> RE: Plagiarists and wannabes...and asexual D/s (7/1/2008 8:37:12 PM)
Plagerism is a pain in the ass and I've lost count of the times when my profile or articles I've written and even had published have turned up being touted an someone elses. Sadly, if they had asked if they could use it I woiuld have given written oermission as long as I was credited for it.. The gods of cm have dealt with a few things when i reported it and publishers or friends have dealt with some others.. I just find it sad that some people are either too lazy and/or unable to produce their own stuff and lack the honesty and honour to request permission to use some one else's work. Iron Bear (Incorrigible, irrepressible and irreverent) Master of Bruin Cottage (A Victorian Lifestyle poly home) The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ, Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line, Nor all your Tears wash out a Word of it. Omar Khayyam 1048 CE to 1123 CE (Persian Mathematician, Scientist, Astronomer, Philosopher & Poet).

SurrenderForMe -> RE: Plagiarists and wannabes...and asexual D/s (7/1/2008 9:44:52 PM)
I've seen numerous variations on d/s that had no sex. Reasons: in a relationship and not allowed by agreement with partner to pass a certain point looking to satisfy d/s needs but not interested in relationship, casual or other pre-op ts not willing to use body parts not wanted I'll stop there. There are as many reasons as there are people doing it. Having a curious mind, I have asked if it was satisfying. The answer, in general, has been, to a point. Yes they have some dissatisfaction, but it lets them get some of what they need. I forgot the copycat question. Laziness, admiration, writers block and if I wasn't tired, other reasons to copy someone else. In the past, if I saw a piece of a description that I thought was excellent, I have asked permission to use it. Then I got bored and changed it. By the way, right now, I think it is all mine, but it is old and I am discouraging people until my life settles down. Plus, its boring.

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