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Moo for me, baby! - 6/29/2008 6:33:01 PM   
KLRDan


Posts: 30
Joined: 5/21/2008
Status: offline 		Do any of you intentionally drop hints to indicate your perversion when flirting with (apparently) vanilla prospects? I do it quite often, partly because it's fun, and partly because if a girl is going to cross me off her list just because I want her to oink and squeal while I dry-fuck her ass and write words on her back with a marker--you'd be surprised how often I get rejected over such trivialities--I'd rather she do it sooner than later. This is precisely what occurred in the case of Calcium Girl, whose story I will now relate.

Calcium Girl, or Brenda*, was almost as silly as she was pretty, which is saying a lot. In the beginning, she was infatuated with me. Her chief method of flirting consisted of turning quickly in my direction as I passed, fixing me with her wild green eyes, and literally spouting gibberish, a la Adam Sandler in Billy Madison. I confess I had no idea how to respond. All my characteristic suavity simply dissolved in the face of this assault; I couldn't even manage "Your sty or mine", let alone "Come on, baby--let's find out how bacon bits are made."  One day she abruptly changed her approach, or at least part of it. The quick head-turn and the wild green eyes remained, but what issued from the captivating lips was now a single syllable, namely, "Moo."

For several weeks Brenda mooed at me. For several weeks I furrowed my brow and asked what that meant, to no avail. I had just resigned myself to an existence filled with nonsensical mooing when Brenda, out of the blue, confessed that she mooed at me because she thought I looked like a Swedish farm boy. You're very tall, she said, and you have blond hair. You're a Swedish farm boy.

I see, I said. A Swedish farm boy.

Uh-huh.
 
And you moo at me.

Yeah.
 
Can you see what this is adding up to?

Um...no. Not really.
 
Not at all?

No.

I think you're saying you want to be my Swedish cow.

No!
 
Come on, don't deny it. Moo for me, baby!

Oh, God. I'm so embarrassed. I want to kill myself.
 
Please don't. I can't live without you.

Oh, really, now?
 
Yeah. Do you have any idea how much calcium supplements cost?

She socked me in the arm and walked away. And that is how Brenda became Calcium Girl.

The tables had turned. The shoe had shifted feet. The bucket had shifted udders. Victory, or something, was mine.

It was now in Brenda's best interest to stop mooing. But the old habit died hard. Several times I saw her bring her lips together as if in preparation for a friendly bovine greeting, only to say "Mm" and stop at the last possible instant to poke out a defiant tongue. These moments presented wonderful opportunities for me to say things like, "How's my little calcium deposit?" and "Fly away with me, Brenda--we'll make beautiful calcium together!"

A short while later, she informed me that she had once found me very cute, until I opened my big fat mouth. I was a perv, she said, and she could never date one of those, no matter how attractive she found him otherwise. I smiled and nodded, content in the knowledge that we had each dodged a bullet. Furthermore, she was engaged, and here was an invitation to the wedding.

Ah, well. Two ships passing in the night. Moo.

*name has been changed to protect the dairy industry

_____________________________

In heaven, all the interesting people are missing.

--Nietzsche
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RE: Moo for me, baby! - 6/29/2008 6:34:55 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		I don't but that's only because I rarely try to pick up anyone vanilla for the purposes of engaging in kinky fun with them and I'd only do that after clearly assessing their open mindedness and talking about it.

Now, I certainly will throw out little one liners and such at a crowd or someone fun- but I'm not really flirting, just playing around.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to KLRDan)
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RE: Moo for me, baby! - 6/29/2008 6:54:22 PM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline 		I think it was how you handled the situation's  progression when you wanted to get more information.
 
I would have set some time aside for a casual cuppa coffee.. and then drop the flirting situation, get serious and say "..  I think you and I MIGHT have something common.. have you ever heard of...."insert desire here   " .  I thought the mooing was a subtle indication of an interest and you might have been feeling me out".
 
She might have been into it and took your "calcium" comments as making fun of her and might have just been embarrassed.



_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.


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RE: Moo for me, baby! - 6/29/2008 6:59:20 PM   
lostgirl83


Posts: 81
Joined: 2/8/2005
Status: offline 		Lol aw how could she resist?

I have attempted to bring up my sexual tendencies and "kinks" with potential play mates in vanilla settings... I got frustrated (hence the internet, although fortunately I don't need to look anymore) Ill never forget the one night at the bar... I was flirting with a rather good looking man but getting quite bored. He suggested we go back to his place and at that point I wasn't even willing to put forth the effort because I knew I would be disappointed. I told him I didn't think he could handle me the way I needed him to... that I was into some kinky things sexually. He got all excited and said "Ohh Im into all kinds of kinky things..." curious, so I asked him to elaborate, to which he replied "You know... like anal and stuff" I laughed, and he did not get laid.

It is hard though to bring up that kind of thing. Its funny too because a lot of times something someone says in an innocent way gets twisted around in my perverted mind and I think too much about it, and I get excited thinking maybe they mean something else. The internet makes things SO much easier!!

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: Moo for me, baby! - 6/29/2008 7:01:48 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		In honor of the thread title:

http://www.bobaymark.de/photo/ResinModel/Cow_1.jpg

(in reply to lostgirl83)
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RE: Moo for me, baby! - 6/29/2008 9:24:51 PM   
Shadow-tiger


Posts: 1775
Joined: 6/8/2008
From: California
Status: offline 		You missed such a golden opportunity. All that was really needed was a tilt of the head and a reply of Moo? Moo moo MOO moo moo.

Or doesn't anyone else speak cow? *scuttles off*

(in reply to KLRDan)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Moo for me, baby! - 6/29/2008 9:35:06 PM   
darchChylde


Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline 		Tipping is usually a reward for good service.  So, what is cow-tipping actually about?

_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

(in reply to Shadow-tiger)
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RE: Moo for me, baby! - 6/29/2008 9:41:06 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I think you'd have to be a hick like Me to get it, dc.

After all, it is for amusement.   Or is that "amoosement".


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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RE: Moo for me, baby! - 6/29/2008 9:53:39 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		That's almost as fun as a sub jogging with an inflatable butt plug-with the squeaker out of a dog toy in the fill tube.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

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RE: Moo for me, baby! - 6/29/2008 9:54:51 PM   
darchChylde


Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I think you'd have to be a hick like Me to get it, dc.

After all, it is for amusement.   Or is that "amoosement".



Ummm, LP; did you forget that while you live in Georgia, i'm the one who's from there.


_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Moo for me, baby! - 6/29/2008 9:56:55 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Hon, I grew up in PA.  It's all cows and corn where I'm from.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to darchChylde)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Moo for me, baby! - 6/29/2008 10:43:24 PM   
L8bloomer


Posts: 480
Joined: 6/1/2008
From: Your imagination
Status: offline 		*L* This was an entertaining read! But your profile is hidden! :( What will people like me, who don't have a life, do? I live for pervin' profiles! *L*

_____________________________

Knowledge is power / Ignorance is bliss

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RE: Moo for me, baby! - 6/29/2008 10:44:39 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		ok. I was just laughing my ass off at the OP.. *applauds*  well written!!  

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

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RE: Moo for me, baby! - 6/29/2008 11:06:03 PM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline 		It's a witty Op, KLRDan.  But seeking a D/s partner among 'vanilla' women seems kinda like trying to hunt buffalo in NYC -- it may happen, but  your odds go up if you move to where buffalo are actually known to roam.
 
I think there's an element of disrespect in trying to change a person.  I don't find 'vanilla' inferior to "D/s'.  I don't fancy I'm doing anyone any favors by 'explaining "D/s' to them if they haven't asked. 
 
Anyone with access to a tv already has been cued in that D/s exists; if they didn't choose to pursue it, it probably means they have no interest.  Just as they might not have any interest in many other things I like.
 
I'm not running a D/s recruiting office here.
 
But hey, that's just me.
 
candystripper

(in reply to KLRDan)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Moo for me, baby! - 6/30/2008 2:25:01 AM   
KLRDan


Posts: 30
Joined: 5/21/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

I think it was how you handled the situation's  progression when you wanted to get more information.
 
I would have set some time aside for a casual cuppa coffee.. and then drop the flirting situation, get serious and say "..  I think you and I MIGHT have something common.. have you ever heard of...."insert desire here   " .  I thought the mooing was a subtle indication of an interest and you might have been feeling me out".
 
She might have been into it and took your "calcium" comments as making fun of her and might have just been embarrassed.




I think you're right, and if I'd been absolutely smitten with her, I probably would have done something that was more along the lines of what you suggested. I mostly wanted to push her buttons. (If it makes me seem like any less of a jerk, she gave as good as she got when it came to the teasing.)

_____________________________

In heaven, all the interesting people are missing.

--Nietzsche

(in reply to LotusSong)
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RE: Moo for me, baby! - 6/30/2008 4:48:32 AM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline
quote:

Do any of you intentionally drop hints to indicate your perversion when flirting with (apparently) vanilla prospects?

No, in my opinion hinting is a waste of time. I'm just out there with my wants and needs. If they are not into the same things as me it ain't gonna happen anyway.
 
quote:

I do it quite often, partly because it's fun, and partly because if a girl is going to cross me off her list just because I want her to oink and squeal while I dry-fuck her ass and write words on her back with a marker--you'd be surprised how often I get rejected over such trivialities--I'd rather she do it sooner than later.

For some that would not be a triviality. Remember that in oinking like a pig there is humiliation. Even some kinksters are not in to humiliation. I find it quite worrying that you would call something as intense (for some) as humiliation a triviality.
 


_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

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RE: Moo for me, baby! - 6/30/2008 5:58:13 AM   
KLRDan


Posts: 30
Joined: 5/21/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

quote:

Do any of you intentionally drop hints to indicate your perversion when flirting with (apparently) vanilla prospects?

No, in my opinion hinting is a waste of time. I'm just out there with my wants and needs. If they are not into the same things as me it ain't gonna happen anyway.
 
quote:

I do it quite often, partly because it's fun, and partly because if a girl is going to cross me off her list just because I want her to oink and squeal while I dry-fuck her ass and write words on her back with a marker--you'd be surprised how often I get rejected over such trivialities--I'd rather she do it sooner than later.

For some that would not be a triviality. Remember that in oinking like a pig there is humiliation. Even some kinksters are not in to humiliation. I find it quite worrying that you would call something as intense (for some) as humiliation a triviality.
 



That was a joke. Tongue-in-cheek. I went out of my way to pick an outrageously humiliating activity and call it trivial in an attempt to be humorous. Of course I don't really think it's a triviality.

< Message edited by KLRDan -- 6/30/2008 6:03:44 AM >

_____________________________

In heaven, all the interesting people are missing.

--Nietzsche

(in reply to missturbation)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Moo for me, baby! - 6/30/2008 7:33:41 AM   
abcbsex


Posts: 478
Joined: 3/29/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lostgirl83

Lol aw how could she resist?

I have attempted to bring up my sexual tendencies and "kinks" with potential play mates in vanilla settings... I got frustrated (hence the internet, although fortunately I don't need to look anymore) Ill never forget the one night at the bar... I was flirting with a rather good looking man but getting quite bored. He suggested we go back to his place and at that point I wasn't even willing to put forth the effort because I knew I would be disappointed. I told him I didn't think he could handle me the way I needed him to... that I was into some kinky things sexually. He got all excited and said "Ohh Im into all kinds of kinky things..." curious, so I asked him to elaborate, to which he replied "You know... like anal and stuff" I laughed, and he did not get laid.

It is hard though to bring up that kind of thing. Its funny too because a lot of times something someone says in an innocent way gets twisted around in my perverted mind and I think too much about it, and I get excited thinking maybe they mean something else. The internet makes things SO much easier!!


Ah, guys who think anal is a fetish make me smile. Alpha allows me to talk to men online who stray across my profile on xnxx.com because he's seen how much of a laugh I can get out of it sometimes... They ask me if I'm kinky and when I describe it, I kind of wish I could see the looks on their faces! i usually end up giving advice about how they can please their girlfriends and get them open to certain things (give her more oral!), so I hope I'm helping a little bit and not just laughing at the poor buggers.

_____________________________

I was trained at MasterLordDarkness' Center for Subs Who Don't Serve Good and Wanna Learn to Do Other Stuff Good Too.....

but it needed to be at least.... four times bigger.


(in reply to lostgirl83)
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RE: Moo for me, baby! - 6/30/2008 8:39:22 AM   
pixidustpet


Posts: 857
Joined: 6/4/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

In honor of the thread title:

http://www.bobaymark.de/photo/ResinModel/Cow_1.jpg


http://www.riddleme.com/html/cow2.html

*and* bdsm elements!  *giggling*

kitten

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 19
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