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Most likely....a question being revisited - 6/28/2008 5:39:25 AM   
SilentTigresss


Posts: 261
Joined: 1/18/2004
Status: offline 		Rant perhaps? Ventilation,maybe.........And typed in a very generic way...
WHY do so many roleplay this lifestyle..... then when it comes down to the real deal......they are not what they seem?  And my gosh, some can have it down to a "T" Nods.....and yes, i may know the answer(s) to this but it is about support (for me) to hear it from other's views/opinions.
i thank anyone who reads and takes a minute to share their thoughts.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Most likely....a question being revisited - 6/28/2008 5:41:57 AM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		Are we ever what we seem? We are three people all the time, who we think we are, how others see us and who we actually are, none of those things are the same EVER. I was reading a book recently that put it far more eloquantly than that but how many times have you heard someone say "you dont know the real me" well thats because no one does.

Directly to your question, your idea of the 'real deal' may be role play to me, but the thing is its life to all of us. Whatever level we desire or live whatever dynamic we want, thats our real thats the real thats important not your real or indeed anyone elses.

_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

(in reply to SilentTigresss)
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RE: Most likely....a question being revisited - 6/28/2008 5:42:23 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Why are people not authentic in general?  It's not a lifestyle thing.  If you dig you'll probably discover that these people are at odds in all sorts of things in their lives.  People are confused, have fear, have lack of understanding and are not self-aware about what they want/need and sometimes we are their collateral damage.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to SilentTigresss)
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RE: Most likely....a question being revisited - 6/28/2008 5:49:16 AM   
SilentTigresss


Posts: 261
Joined: 1/18/2004
Status: offline 		Thank you both for your replies..... your insights can shed light.

(in reply to KatyLied)
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RE: Most likely....a question being revisited - 6/28/2008 6:00:41 AM   
ProtagonistLily


Posts: 1222
Joined: 12/27/2004
Status: offline 		If you are looking at others and thinking they 'role playing' because they aren't meeting your expectations, your expectations of WIIWD has to offer may be skewed.

Just a thought. You might want to be more specific in your questions to get more specific answers.

PL

< Message edited by ProtagonistLily -- 6/28/2008 6:11:45 AM >

_____________________________

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"
~Dr. Seuss~

(in reply to SilentTigresss)
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RE: Most likely....a question being revisited - 6/28/2008 6:01:52 AM   
MasterHermes


Posts: 136
Joined: 5/23/2008
Status: offline 		Because what we dream in our minds and reality are never same. Many people have fantasies they could never do in real life if they had the chance. Of course you are wondering why they dont just treat them as fantasies and pose it other people as they are real. Because thats what gives them a chance to feel as real as it could get without really stepping into reality. Creating this dream persona , specially online, is not difficult. So this is an alternative realm for people where they can be who they want to be instead of who they are. This is not something new.. People have enjoyed jumping into alternative stories through books and movies for a long time. Now this is giving them a chance to write their own script and act in the story they created. I do not think there will ever come to an end to it.

Be well
Hermes

(in reply to KatyLied)
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RE: Most likely....a question being revisited - 6/28/2008 6:02:49 AM   
TNstepsout


Posts: 1558
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline 		My guess is that most of these guys think that playing the role is what being a Dom is all about. I can guess that from all the scary, glary pics in Dom profiles. Some will grow past that as they get more experience but many will not.

(in reply to SilentTigresss)
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RE: Most likely....a question being revisited - 6/28/2008 6:07:14 AM   
SilentTigresss


Posts: 261
Joined: 1/18/2004
Status: offline 		Thank you MasterHermes for your thoughtful reply.

(in reply to MasterHermes)
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RE: Most likely....a question being revisited - 6/28/2008 6:12:28 AM   
SilentTigresss


Posts: 261
Joined: 1/18/2004
Status: offline 		Thank you TN, Lily. Lily, i kept it generic so as to not get too detailed and have a thread look like a re-run..... 

(in reply to TNstepsout)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Most likely....a question being revisited - 6/28/2008 6:13:03 AM   
JillSpade


Posts: 19
Joined: 5/29/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SilentTigresss

Rant perhaps? Ventilation,maybe.........And typed in a very generic way...
WHY do so many roleplay this lifestyle..... then when it comes down to the real deal......they are not what they seem?  And my gosh, some can have it down to a "T" Nods.....and yes, i may know the answer(s) to this but it is about support (for me) to hear it from other's views/opinions.
i thank anyone who reads and takes a minute to share their thoughts.


Maybe they aren't what they seem to you, but they are a whole person with faults, fears and frailties, which are easily glossed over during a scene, but not so much in day to day interactions. Perhaps we sometimes put people in a labeled box and when they step outside of that, we aren't sure how to deal with it.

I'm not sure what you're looking for here, so this is a generic reply, sorry.


_____________________________

"How should we like it were stars to burn
With a passion for us we could not return?
If equal affection cannot be,
Let the more loving one be me."

-Excerpt from 'The more loving one', by W. H. Auden

(in reply to SilentTigresss)
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RE: Most likely....a question being revisited - 6/28/2008 6:19:08 AM   
SilentTigresss


Posts: 261
Joined: 1/18/2004
Status: offline 		Jill, your reply was fine. Maybe i was/am being too generic for some....sorry.

(in reply to JillSpade)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Most likely....a question being revisited - 6/28/2008 6:27:15 AM   
viola12


Posts: 11
Joined: 9/20/2007
Status: offline 		I've chatted with a lot of people, and i find that although they express a great interest in this lifestyle they can't seem to get up the nerve to actually get involved, perhaps it's because of extenuating family circumstances or fear that they will be 'found out'. Personally I find this frustrating when someone wants to talk to me or tell me about their fantasies and what they would 'like' to do and that they are looking for someone to do it with on cm or elsewhere but then if offers are made to them, not necessarily by me, they turn them down or find an excuse. Going to go off on my own little vent here for a sec, I feel like I and many people I know have made sacrifices in the form of friends and other things to be in this lifestyle and they just want someone to talk to to help get them off so they can go back to being their happy vanilla selves with unfulfilled fantasies, it's kind of sad. Sorry just had to get that off my chest. But in addition to that I think some people just honestly do freak themselves out. I think most people have fantasized about a scene they really wanted to do and then when they did get the opportunity they realized it's not as enjoyable as they thought it would be, I mean being locked in a cell or dungeon all day sounds fun, but what about when you've been there with nothing to do for 6 hours and your bored to tears and want to tear out your own hair, still fun? Of course some would say yes and some would say the reality of it is not the same as the fantasy. So I guess my point is that a lot of people live in their head and not out. And then there are other times when of course you just can't fathom why people do what they do :)

(in reply to SilentTigresss)
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RE: Most likely....a question being revisited - 6/28/2008 6:31:31 AM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: viola12
although they express a great interest in this lifestyle they can't seem to get up the nerve to actually get involved,

It seems pretty obvious what's going on in your case if you're meeting them through this CM profile.  Your first line is that you don't want a relationship.  That sorts out 95% of the nonwankers right there.  I don't see why you're "venting" about people who only want online, or talk, when you explicitly recruit to that.


_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to viola12)
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RE: Most likely....a question being revisited - 6/28/2008 6:39:01 AM   
viola12


Posts: 11
Joined: 9/20/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: viola12
although they express a great interest in this lifestyle they can't seem to get up the nerve to actually get involved,

It seems pretty obvious what's going on in your case if you're meeting them through this CM profile. Your first line is that you don't want a relationship. That sorts out 95% of the nonwankers right there. I don't see why you're "venting" about people who only want online, or talk, when you explicitly recruit to that.



I think you missed the point on that, I don't want a relationship I do want just friends, however I like to talk to everybody..perhaps this does invite a lot of the people I was talking about. This is where I think you took it wrong though, I'm not talking about them playing with me, clearly I'm not looking for that, I'm talking about people I chat with on a long term basis and I know what they have said they are looking for but when they get offers from others they can't materialize. I don't care if they just want to chat and be online with me but when an opportunity comes their way that is supposedly what they are looking for it doesn't happen. I don't get it. I hope that clears it up a bit.

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RE: Most likely....a question being revisited - 6/28/2008 6:39:24 AM   
SilentTigresss


Posts: 261
Joined: 1/18/2004
Status: offline 		viola, i'm glad you shared your "vent."  Mine covers the sacrificing of self, only to have that sharing mean nothing....like what you said about the other going back to their vanilla life. Frustrating for both invloved.
On the other hand..nothing ventured, nothing gained.   

(in reply to viola12)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Most likely....a question being revisited - 6/28/2008 6:48:30 AM   
BRNaughtyAngel


Posts: 1821
Status: offline 		A lot of people use all sorts of online venues as escapism from their lives, not just this site and not just "online BDSM".

And people are selfish.  They want to get their jollies, even if it's at the expense of someone elses feelings.  And doing that online is really easy because it is all so impersonal.

(in reply to SilentTigresss)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Most likely....a question being revisited - 6/28/2008 7:12:55 AM   
SilentTigresss


Posts: 261
Joined: 1/18/2004
Status: offline 		Naughty, yes.

(in reply to BRNaughtyAngel)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Most likely....a question being revisited - 6/28/2008 8:01:23 AM   
NeedingMore220


Posts: 615
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ProtagonistLily

If you are looking at others and thinking they 'role playing' because they aren't meeting your expectations, your expectations of WIIWD has to offer may be skewed.



Or it could be that their expectations are just different from yours - not necessarily skewed.  I found myself in the past making assumptions, which was obviously, a mistake.  This time around I'm trying to be very clear on what it is that I need and then verbalizing it to the other person.  I may think a Dominant should be a certain way or would expect certain things ... but then I find it's exactly opposite to what I was thinking - does that make him a roleplayer?  I don't think so - it may make us incompatible, but it doesn't automatically reflect badly on him. 

(in reply to ProtagonistLily)
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RE: Most likely....a question being revisited - 6/28/2008 8:09:36 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Who says they aren't real? Just because they don't find you compatible doesn't mean they aren't being true to themselves.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


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RE: Most likely....a question being revisited - 6/28/2008 8:14:46 AM   
faerytattoodgirl


Posts: 5824
Status: offline 		i am not what i seem...i am actually an alien from the planet krypton.  shaped in the form of a human being who steals your dirty socks for fuel so i can get back to krypton (its not blown up yet).  

_____________________________

I did not reply to your cmail.
I am flawed.
Imperfect.
MUST SPANK!!!
SPAAAAAAAANK!!!

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