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Is your sub your crutch - 6/27/2008 11:32:47 PM

lovepuppy

Posts: 46
Joined: 12/11/2005
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We've all seen the profiles of "my master/mistress is the best thing since sticky tape and I am theirs forever and for always to the end of time"...with the counter profile of "my sub is mine mine mine mine". Ok I can respect both those views....but then you run into those profiles where you see Booger (from revenge of the nerd ya'll, com'n you know the words) with super model 1989 just grinning like he hit the lottery twice in the same day. then you see the same guy at a club and he's walking aroudn like he is flashing a neon-light reading "I got a gf, I got a gf".

Which led me to my own little "oops" with myself...I was teasing with my girl about getting a slave mark, mostly cuz I think it's really funny to see the look on her face when she considers me, hot metal and open fire all in the same place....as I said it was just teasing but in that little back part of my brain that just sorta watches everything damned if I didn't run straight into Booger staying back at me.

Now a long time ago I accepted what I hate most in myself I hate moreso in other people but it got me thinking how many people (on either side of the fence) hit that same "oops" at one time or another.

Post #: 1

RE: Is your sub your crutch - 6/27/2008 11:36:17 PM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline

Um,,,no...wtf?

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I'm not taking custom orders.

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Post #: 2

RE: Is your sub your crutch - 6/28/2008 1:30:48 AM

NorthernGent

Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
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A focus? definitely......what do you mean by crutch?

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Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

(in reply to lovepuppy)

Post #: 3

RE: Is your sub your crutch - 6/28/2008 3:44:15 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

Um,,,no...wtf?

I'm with Leatherist on this one, Either I totaly don't get what the OP is asking OR it is saying that having pride in Owning Your girl is somehow a bad thing????? Huh?

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to Leatherist)

Post #: 4

RE: Is your sub your crutch - 6/28/2008 5:38:20 AM

ProtagonistLily

Posts: 1222
Joined: 12/27/2004
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Fortunately (or perhaps, unfortunately) I think I get what the OP's saying here, however, I don't think it was articulated very well.

What I think they are trying to say is: Does having your sub elevate you into some kind of social strata that makes you feel a way you always wanted to? (hence the Booger analogy)
AND

Do ideas like branding titilate you because of the amount of submission they would take and because it would make you (the Toppy part of the equation) feel more like an owner because the bottom part of the equation would actually consider something this outrageous?

Both musings I think are the product of a largely egocentric way of thinking and a low understanding of D/s dynamic and power exchange. But that's my take on this, I could be wrong ~shrug~

PL

_____________________________

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"
~Dr. Seuss~

(in reply to lovepuppy)

Post #: 5

RE: Is your sub your crutch - 6/28/2008 6:39:29 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ProtagonistLily
I don't think it was articulated very well.

No I don't think it was, Yours however I will answer as at least I can tell what is being asked!

quote:

Does having your sub elevate you into some kind of social strata that makes you feel a way you always wanted to?

Hell no, she joined Me and I introduced her to the social setting I was already in. We mix with the same people I was mixing with before. Their attitudes toward Me are much the same as they always have been. she however has remarked that people are treating HER differently eg. she is percieved as a lifestyler not a playbunny (Which I recognised early on, she was playing a lot because she was searching for something more but not finding it!) and other little things such as a fellow femsub coming upto her and stating "I can talk to you now as you are not with a total wanker"... for a Female Dominant being more friendly toward her "Because you are now Owned by someone I actualy respect"... etc.

quote:

(hence the Booger analogy)

OK, is that an American thing because I don't know it? (Maybe part of why I didn't 'get' the OP)

quote:

Do ideas like branding titilate you because of the amount of submission they would take and because it would make you (the Toppy part of the equation) feel more like an owner because the bottom part of the equation would actually consider something this outrageous?

Firstly I don't consider branding to be 'outragious' and with My girl there are many things she would and does find more difficult, I enjoy pushing her in her submission and she gets a sense of achievement from being pushed in that manner. It has nothing to do with 'feeling more of an Owner'... I can push her in that manner because I AM her Owner, I am not her Owner because I can push her.... To Me the question is the wrong way around.

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to ProtagonistLily)

Post #: 6

RE: Is your sub your crutch - 6/28/2008 6:46:59 AM

ProtagonistLily

Posts: 1222
Joined: 12/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

Firstly I don't consider branding to be 'outragious' and with My girl there are many things she would and does find more difficult, I enjoy pushing her in her submission and she gets a sense of achievement from being pushed in that manner. It has nothing to do with 'feeling more of an Owner'... I can push her in that manner because I AM her Owner, I am not her Owner because I can push her.... To Me the question is the wrong way around.

Raven, for the record, neither do I. I was just trying to interpret the OP's question in a way that was understandable.

I just wanted to be clear that the voice I used to interpret the OP did not necessarily reflect my personal feelings on any of the subjects

PL

_____________________________

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"
~Dr. Seuss~

(in reply to RavenMuse)

Post #: 7

RE: Is your sub your crutch - 6/28/2008 6:49:24 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

No worries, I wasn't taking them as reflecting on You, just Your far clearer phrasing on the OP's questions.

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to ProtagonistLily)

Post #: 8

RE: Is your sub your crutch - 6/28/2008 6:51:39 AM

BRNaughtyAngel

Posts: 1821
Status: offline

Maybe it will make more sense after I've had more coffee, cuz I'm not getting it.

(in reply to lovepuppy)

Post #: 9

RE: Is your sub your crutch - 6/28/2008 7:38:19 AM

chiaThePet

Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline

Step

Clunk

Ow my head

Nah, wouldn't work for me.

chia* (the pet)

_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to lovepuppy)

Post #: 10

RE: Is your sub your crutch - 6/28/2008 8:01:11 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Lily, I'm glad you're here, because the OP didn't make sense to Me either. I actually got the Revenge of the Nerds analogy, but only because I remember seeing the movie.

For the rest, I'm very much in agreement with RavenMuse. It was Me who introduced My sub to the lifestyle folks here and surrounding, so no, that didn't have an effect. I don't want this to sound egotistical in any way, but as a Dominant female, if I want attention, I can get it. I think most females, whether Top or bottom, know that about themselves.

Specifically on the branding, I do wonder if it was a little bit of both, as well as more. My clip has a great sense of adventure with all types of play so when he went to his first demo on this, I knew that it was something we both wanted. We did a temporary brand at first, but three applications later, it's a permanent one. I love My mark being on him, but his submission means more.

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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to chiaThePet)

Post #: 11

RE: Is your sub your crutch - 6/28/2008 8:16:38 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Having no idea what the reference is to, I'm lost on that account.

If he's saying that it's wrong to be happy to be in a relationship, then I disagree. If it's that having a relationship is not real, just having arm candy, then for most people this isn't so. As far as showing me off and proving he can get a woman, he's had them before and if I ever leave he could get another.

I wasn't sure if he wasn't saying that he wants to be branded to show everyone their relationship. If so, go for it, although don't guys typically get tattoos with the girl's name instead? If he thinks he should brand her so that everyone knows she's in a relationship with him, usually they don't say "property of" so how would it work? As to whether or not body mods are outrageous or acceptible, ask her since she's the one who will have it for 50 years after you're just a memory.

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Post #: 12

RE: Is your sub your crutch - 6/28/2008 8:20:35 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
I don't want this to sound egotistical in any way, but as a Dominant female, if I want attention, I can get it. I think most females, whether Top or bottom, know that about themselves.

I don't think it is egotistical, however it isn't just a FemDom thing or even just a female thing. Anyone with confidence in who and what they are can draw attention as and when They want it. I've never had much of a problem in that regard.

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 13

RE: Is your sub your crutch - 6/28/2008 8:27:43 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

I think the analogy the OP was going for was that "you're no one without a {x}". Boyfriend, girlfriend, husband with a bmw, whatever. Like in movies about high school and college in the 50's, where girls fought over getting "pinned", and all their self worth was attached to their partner. Hence, Booger, and all the nerds who date fashion models.

So, I will say, no, my submissive is not my crutch, though I would like to think I can lean on him or her if need be!

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[page 23 girl]

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Post #: 14

RE: Is your sub your crutch - 6/28/2008 1:30:22 PM

Lumus

Posts: 5968
Joined: 9/16/2007
Status: offline

I am, unfortunately for some, me regardless.

On an unrelated note, Rain's head now tilts to one side.

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~ the other half of "L&L" ~

I have been dubbed the Rainmaker. Do not make me take your water for my tribe.

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Post #: 15

RE: Is your sub your crutch - 6/28/2008 3:25:56 PM

lovepuppy

Posts: 46
Joined: 12/11/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I think the analogy the OP was going for was that "you're no one without a {x}". Boyfriend, girlfriend, husband with a bmw, whatever. Like in movies about high school and college in the 50's, where girls fought over getting "pinned", and all their self worth was attached to their partner. Hence, Booger, and all the nerds who date fashion models.

So, I will say, no, my submissive is not my crutch, though I would like to think I can lean on him or her if need be!

Thank you Lady, (once again I'm rescued by a strong willed lady from Detroit; the first time involved a Harley wedged under a semi-tractor and an interesting lesson in the leverage principle).

The Orginal post was my (all too cutsey apparently) way of asking how many Dom's have caught themselves however briefly using the sub-holding status(and calibur of the sub therein) as a crutch to angrandize their own ego. The post was a curiosity to see who would really cop to those brief moments of sorta self-abased honesty, who just liked living in Egypt near denial, and who like yourself could seperate the differnce between a crutch for the ego and a geninuine asset.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 16

RE: Is your sub your crutch - 6/28/2008 7:05:50 PM

obis

Posts: 412
Joined: 9/9/2005
From: Austin, TX, USA
Status: offline

I will cop to being shallow enough that I take pride in having a slave/sub I'm particularly happy with, particularly one who is attractive to others. I think it's a pretty normal thing that socially our quality (or even existence) of partner is seen as a symbol of our own value. Getting a highly desirable partner can be an ego boost, and losing one can be a self-confidence speedbump. But I think most of that is short-term unless you're a really codependent person who depends on the validation of others.

I will say that I think this is a good thing -- the old saying that our partners bring out the best in us can be very true. When we're with someone we find amazing, we want to be more amazing ourselves, and we become so.

(in reply to lovepuppy)

Post #: 17

RE: Is your sub your crutch - 6/28/2008 7:11:43 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

I like showing off my boys. I like taking pictures of Fox, and going out with Angel knowing we get looks. I dont know if they are looking at the boys and wondering how they got me, looking at me and wondering how I got the boys... or just looking at us and thinking something all together different.
I am not nothing without them, I am just far happier with them.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to obis)

Post #: 18

RE: Is your sub your crutch - 6/29/2008 2:42:31 AM

RavenMuse

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Joined: 1/23/2006
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If it comes to the showing off aspect... sure, though I care little for if others "find her attractive" becuase many out there are shallow, media-led, retards whi think anything other than an anorexic waif isn't 'attractive'. If *I* find her attractive, if *I* have pride in Owning her (And if I don't then I wouldn't continue to Own her) then I will and do enjoy showing her off.

I don't see that pride as 'shallow'. If You buy a beautiful painting for Your Own enjoyment and let others enjoy viewing it too... is that shallow? My girl is bright and a good communicator, I enjoy reading her posts (just as in private I enjoy hearing her opinion on a full range of matters), others enjoy and benifit from her PoV and advice, is it shallow of Me to allow that? Is it wrong of a Master to build her confidence so she can contribute in her own right? Same on the scene, instead of her lack of confidence having her hide away in a corner the fact that I have pride enough in her to 'show her off' is slowly helping her realise she is someone taking pride IN. Others are realising she is someone worth knowing in her own right and she is building a number of good new friendships which again in turn is bolstering her confidence.

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Post #: 19

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