RE: Let Me start with this.... good-bye

RE: Let Me start with this.... good-bye (Full Version)

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abcbsex -> RE: Let Me start with this.... good-bye (6/28/2008 5:37:13 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact Today marked a year long journey for Me. It was graduation day for My boy and time for him to leave here. I watched him walk away with his wife, on to the rest of his lifetime. For those who have come to know Me, and the story of this D/s dynamic, you know that this event was bittersweet. My sub was anxious for this, and yet dreaded it all at once. It was time for us to say good-bye. To give each other closure to this wonderful chapter in our lives, so that other doors might open. I have to admit, this is the happiest pain I have ever known. To wax poetic, My heart sings in agony. That I have had so much of this! This is, after all, a discussion board, so I had better pick a topic. What is the experience that impacted your life? What do you feel, in your soul, that you couldn't have lived without? Who is that one person, who completed you? The experience that has impacted my life the most so far was being the only sibling to have to endure my parents' divorce. My older brother and sister were away at college, and my little sister was too young to really worry about it too much. What surprises me so many years later is that it wasn't a completely negative impact. I've learned how to prevent it by witnessing a good relationship turning sour, and I treasure Alpha more for it, knowing he's willing to do anything to keep our marriage afloat. I couldn't have lived without Alpha. I give him credit for preventing a teen suicide attempt. We've known each other for a while. I think I'll have to repeat myself here, Alpha has definitely completed me. Single, or with exes, I felt unbalanced but didn't realize just how off I was. looking back on it now, I feel bad for my former self. No one to take me home and clean me up after a hard night of partying, no one to make me quesadillas in the middle of the night, not having someone for those little things. Other people can live independently and thrive, I think I'd be a grumpy mess.

MissEnchanted -> RE: Let Me start with this.... good-bye (6/28/2008 6:19:59 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact Today marked a year long journey for Me. It was graduation day for My boy and time for him to leave here. I watched him walk away with his wife, on to the rest of his lifetime. For those who have come to know Me, and the story of this D/s dynamic, you know that this event was bittersweet. My sub was anxious for this, and yet dreaded it all at once. It was time for us to say good-bye. To give each other closure to this wonderful chapter in our lives, so that other doors might open. I have to admit, this is the happiest pain I have ever known. To wax poetic, My heart sings in agony. That I have had so much of this! This is, after all, a discussion board, so I had better pick a topic. What is the experience that impacted your life? What do you feel, in your soul, that you couldn't have lived without? Who is that one person, who completed you? Lady Pact, You have a private from me... Best wishes as always, ME

LadyPact -> RE: Let Me start with this.... good-bye (6/28/2008 7:10:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MaamJay quote: ORIGINAL: darchChylde First off LP, don't you ever title a thread like this again; scared the shit out of me. hugs Sorry, i'll try to be more available to chat with you than i have been recently. Ohh I thought it was only Me who originally read it that way! *Maam Jay aka violet[A]* LOL. To both of you wonderful people, and anyone else who thought this way, you have nothing to fear. As long as I have a computer, and an internet connection, I'll be around on CM. Haven't you noticed that I'm a posting addict? I appreciated everyone's answers on this thread. When I wrote the questions, I wasn't really thinking outside the BDSM box. I want to thank those of you who showed Me that. In thinking the other way, I wouldn't especially say it was My son or daughter who gets that place. I thought they did, until My granddaughter came along. Believe Me, it's even better with the second generation. In truth, these weren't fair questions. Not from Me, or even for Me, if it comes to that. I don't have one person who completes Me. I really do have two. It just so happens that one is in Korea and the other is on his way to NV just now. Spoiler here. There's hopes that he won't have to go to Iraq just yet. Now I just keep wondering how in the heck I'm the one still in GA. LOL. It's ok. It won't be like that always. And, even while it is, in these past days and weeks, I've been reminded of what a wonderful leather family that I have here. When I wrote the original, and some other things recently, I was really feeling quite a loss without My little poly family. I stand corrected. Twice actually. That's ok, too, because even a Dominant can be wrong once in a while. My husband has told Me that we will be a family again. My clip has restated that to read that we are a family, we're just going to be apart for a little while. This doesn't turn Me into an online wife or an online Mistress (well, M'Lady in My case). It just makes Me a person who has members of her family in other places for a bit. It's not proximity that makes a family. I've been reminded that it's love.

missturbation -> RE: Let Me start with this.... good-bye (6/28/2008 7:48:15 AM)
quote: What is the experience that impacted your life? Every experience i ever had with Sir. quote: What do you feel, in your soul, that you couldn't have lived without? There is nothing i couldn't have lived without but many things i'm glad i didn't have to live without. quote: Who is that one person, who completed you? Sir completed me for a long time. Now the ability to recognise and act on the need for more completes me. P.s. Big hugs [:D]

TermsConditions -> RE: Let Me start with this.... good-bye (6/28/2008 9:49:12 AM)
LadyPact,Thank you so much for your post. My heart jumped to my throat when I saw the subject line of your thread and I'm glad I mis-understood and that you are remaining! In that moment of misunderstanding a few of us experienced loss." A micro-taste of what you shared in your original post. The feeling that CM would be diminished by your departure flashed through my mind, and then the words of John Donne, and how CM has become a community to me and how we become attached to people and then I teared up a tiny bit. All this happened while waiting for the page to come up! Good grief! What a wonderful experience you have had! And it seems that the bitter-sweet goodbye was misplaced (?) and you've adjusted your previous understanding of family and will continue to have your Boy in your life but with a different role or relationship. That's seems much better than goodbye but difficult in its own way. And then your question. On reflection the experience that has most greatly affected me, affecting all my relationships, and is related to my D/s desires (I don't have this figured out yet) is my separation from my mother when I was young. It was noisy, messy, complicated, drawn out over years, discontinuitous, and handled poorly by everyone involved. I never comprehended a concrete example of the effect this had until I began this response to your post. My initial reaction to your subject line described earlier comes directly from my experience. This was a moment of a revelation. Recently I read or heard that we spend our childhood trying to become adults and spend our adult lives trying to cope with our childhoods! :-) Glad you are here!

softness -> RE: Let Me start with this.... good-bye (6/28/2008 11:13:45 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact What is the experience that impacted your life? What do you feel, in your soul, that you couldn't have lived without? Who is that one person, who completed you? 4 years ago I was in a relationship spiralling into abuse, and I wasn't seeing the red flags fast enough to get out (see recent gang bang thread for details). The relationship ended when one night what started as a scene ended in what could easily becalled a fairly horrific assault or certainly highly abusive play. I was 20, not out to any friends or family and not an active member of any real time scene. I remember vividly the morning after it happened being in my dorm room at university patching myself up and having to invent a cover story. I didn't have anyone I thought I could turn to, no one. That event, coupled with the stress of preparing my final year exams resulted in a major health crisis. I was in and out of hospital for weeks, ICU several times. I was battling to sit exams so that I could graduate and arriving for interviews for post-graduate courses still wearing my hospital bracelet from my latest admission. Somehow (literally only God knows) I managed to graduate. I moved to a new city, found a room in a shared flat (housemates helpfully abroad for the summer) and locked the door on the world. I was broken, I was ill, I was compulsively eating and ballooned over 40 pounds, I was frightened of everyone and everything. I cut myself off from my family, from my friends, from everything. I even took it to the extent that I stopped listening to the radio or watching TV. I sat , I sewed and I read books I already knew the ending to so that nothing could shake me off balance. I spent an entire month like that. I only left the house to get more food or more books from the library. I was one step away from a total breakdown ... some might even argue I was bang in the middle of one.[:)] I learned that summer that the only person I can't live without, the only person I need ... is myself. I began to heal myself that summer .. or started to (DV is having to do the mop up job on my last teeny bits of crazy [:D]). I slowly, very slowly ..rebuilt my foundations of what I could be sure of ... what was certain. I re-created a world I could survive in (and it was just surviving)... that summer of self imposed isolation was what I needed again after a turbulent series of events .. I am someone who thrives on peace and routine (almost erotically so). I started that process of healing - and it got me to a place where I was open and willing to find a relationship withint BDSM again. I have DV to thank for helping me along that process even further, but He is not leaving me unable to survive without Him, He is showing me the next stage of the journey. Without Him I would still be only partially complete ... but it isn't Him that completes me .. its me that completes me ... am such a lucky girl! [:D]

JadeGeisha -> RE: Let Me start with this.... good-bye (6/28/2008 11:36:12 AM)
The event that marked my life? Too dark to talk about. But it affected my life for the better, on the whole. Who is the one person that completed me? The man I'm about to marry.

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