RE: THe one and letting them go with a smile.

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RE: THe one and letting them go with a smile. - 6/30/2008 5:45:48 PM

CreativeDominant

Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

quote:

So, in a way, it has been a fantasy experience. Rather sad, isn't it then that the one who you choose to be involved with on a real-time, real-life experience will not be able to experience the level of slavery you gave to someone else?

Plain and simply yes.

I think so too...and I have to admit that I feel a bit sorry that the dominant that you look to have that emotional tie to will not experience that same depth of slavery even though he will...most likely...be expected to give you more (in terms of long-term caring, support, love) than this one ever was.

quote:

it seems a bit sad that the one who experienced that slavery and the benefit of all that it entails was, in the end, a temporary partner...to put it in a manner that seems harsh, one that was known to be a casual partner rather than a serious one from the start...and the serious, responsible, emotional partner will not see that.

This nearly made me cry as i really think you have a valid point here. Lets just hope that the relationship i eventually settle into is equally ormore fulfilling for both partners.

I did not mean to make you cry. But this whole thread has bothered me because I can't help but wonder...how many submissives would allow a dominant male to use the same type of semantic twists and turns that have been used here? How many submissive females would want a male dominant who kept a door open or a bridge unburnt for some past submissive? How many submissive women here would want a dominant who could not give all of their heart because "it is just too intense" to live that 24/7...or who could not dominate completely 24/7, especially knowing that he'd done so before with someone that he knew was only going to be a casual, temporary presence in his life?

Isn't that kind of what men get hit on for...superficial yet intense relationships with little emotional involvement?

I too hope it will be fulfilling for you and for he...and perhaps the questions I've raised in your head and heart will push you just a bit further to give the one who gives "his all" the "all" from you that another has had.

(in reply to missturbation)

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RE: THe one and letting them go with a smile. - 7/1/2008 5:38:40 AM

chosenatrandom

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Joined: 6/27/2008
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That was so well put, and resonates completely with me right now. Thankyou. I am just coming out of transatlantic relationship that was also a serious friendship, and now is the time to let go.

Over the course of the year we had, we saw each other four times, building up to something amazing and something we could hold at 24x7 until work and life got in the way. we both tried to get transatlantic job switches to be together, and couldn't. Both jobs were closed before we could manage it. It's maddening how the fates put people so perfect for each other so far away. Now we're closing it off, and it's a difficult thing to let go, but that's what I'm doing.

We both learned a lot along the way and I can share for myself - we switched a couple of times so she could understand some of the powerplay i liked and it allowed me to fine-tune some of my controls.

I'm really sad it's over, but it was becoming increasingly difficult for us to sustain it - we both have serious and demanding jobs . i sincerely hope we can get over the pain and a little part of me hopes that at some time in the future it will all come back together again. That unrequited feeling isn't a great one I look forward to going away. Experience says the hurt does goes away.

I do subscribe to the notion of the one, and agree with the comments that there can be more than one. For me the notion of the one was just how utterly compatible we were, with enough differences for there to be sparks. To find someone so totally in tune with me and I with her was a revelation.

I am sure I will be able to look back and find the good memories once I'm over the bad.

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)

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RE: THe one and letting them go with a smile. - 7/3/2008 7:22:41 PM

SayaNereida

Posts: 152
Joined: 7/10/2007
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quote:

Just wanted to share, maybe hear from anyone else who has had / or is with 'their one' but has had / will have to let it go for whatever reason.

I was with someone for 12 years and I knew even in the begining he wasn't THE one, however he was the one I was suppose to be with at the time; whether it was for his 'lesson' or mine I still don't know.

Personally I think many people come into our lives and stay for only as long as we or they are needed ( in my philosophy, to learn a lesson). Although I do believe each of us have the ONE that is our soul mate.

However, if we waste too much of our energy on THE one, we may not have the energy to accept the ONE if we find them.

Saya

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Anais Nin: Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. ...

(in reply to missturbation)

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RE: THe one and letting them go with a smile. - 7/3/2008 8:34:31 PM

GentlemanBobIII

Posts: 63
Joined: 6/19/2008
From: Robinson Twp (Pittsburgh Area) PA
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Miss you are a beautiful young lady and I have no doubt when you are ready for an LTR you will have no shortage of suitors. Personally I would be quite happy with a lady like you, but being the gentleman and nice guy not evil or sadistic in the least, I would not suit you. I hope though, that when you do make that transition you will find a guy that has my qualities and the qualities of this "Sir" you speak of. The two, while seemingly diametrically opposed to one another are not neccesarily incompatible. The important thing is you have mentally registered this fact, about not having a forever relationship, AND you are mentally preparing yourself for the challenges attached to it. You will no doubt feel a sense of grief akin to death when the relationship ends(14 monthes is a long time and no doubt a considerable attachment has formed), but you will work through it and find that which will satisfy you on the deepest levels. Sheesh, thats it, too many psychology classes LOL. However the truth is in there. I wish you well when you make the transition. -Bob

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RE: THe one and letting them go with a smile. - 7/3/2008 8:59:18 PM

GentlemanBobIII

Posts: 63
Joined: 6/19/2008
From: Robinson Twp (Pittsburgh Area) PA
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"rabid rabbits dry humping" LOL That there is funny I don't care who you are. LOL I have never heard that phrase before, theres a certain poetry to it though, it floows. Sorry had to say something. -Bob

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"We are put here on Earth to do good to others; What the others are here for, I don't know"-WH Auden

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