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AAkasha -> RE: Does your slave work? (6/26/2008 3:24:47 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Isabelah
What I mean, is your slave employed and making money? Does it cause conflict when it comes to serving their Mistress?
I am considering a slave and he works. I personally see nothing wrong with him making money, what is his is mine, but I am conflicted over how and if it can be problematic to regards to his slavery?
I can tell you the pros and cons of having a non-working submissive/husband. First and foremost are the practical matters. It's hard to live on one income. I'm in a unique situation in that I'm ten years older than my husband and we got together when he was just getting out of college, so he had not started a career yet and I had one well on the way. I'm also a workaholic and LOVE my career. That said, he could care less if he was working in an office or not. He was an immigrant and could not work legally for a year while his paperwork was processed, so instead he stayed home and basically handled every single item that he could outside of working. I got spoiled. I loved that. I worked my ass off, but everything else in my life was managed properly and the house was handled. He did laundry, dishes, cooking, everything. Errands, shopping - you name it.
When his paperwork came through he got a job and we tried that for awhile, with dual incomes, and sure, the money was nice, but I hated it. I liked it much more when he was at home and we had a lot more free time together and were less stressed. The money he earned, anyway, was smaller than my earning potential, and we realized I could earn MORE money if I had a more managed household and less stress. It became obvious the answer was for him not to work and to just be a 24/7 house husband. In the time he stopped working and instead managed the house, my earning potential WAY outdid his additional income, further emphasising that it was financially actually better to not have him work.
Fast forward a few years and he's had a lot of passionate hobbies emerge. He's also started working for me in my business a lot, and he is good at it. His hobby, though, has turned into a part time job, and that's causing a strain on our relationship. I don't feel right telling him he can't work - he only works 10 - 12 hours a week outside of the house, but there is a big difference in the mindset when someone is 24.7 taking care of your needs and tending to things vs. having a second boss. This is a relatively recent hiccup in our relationship and one we are addressing.
There is something to be said for having a man who really has no other job than to make your life easier. He can be emotionally, mentally and sexually available at any time. He did a fantastic job managing my needs ahead of me needing them, and that created a lot of calm in my otherwise busy, hectic and demanding career. Even the 10 - 12 hours that he is not here I feel strain, and things are not getting done around the house as quickly as they used to; it's NOT worth the additional money he is bringing in, but he is PASSIONATELY fulfilled because it's a hobby of his turned into a little extra income. I would love it if he quit in a heartbeat, but he enjoys it too much, so we are working our way around it. I'll have to get back to you in a year on that.
Some people will tell you that it's not fulfilling being a 'stay at home' submissive and a guy would get bored. Believe me, he was never bored - but you need a type of man that is VERY much a self starter and also has a variety of passions. He would mountain bike, work out, play hockey, run (taking care of his body was important to me), and spend a great deal of time reading, studying and becoming wordly and more educated, because that helped me in my career and in networking. He also managed my schedule and social calendar, businses trips and packing, and even so far as shopped for me, bought my makeup and clothes and shaved my legs. You name it. Now, we have to scale that back a bit, because of priorities. But the thing that is missing most is that he is 100% just addressing needs as they come up, vs. the old days when he would be able to spend a lot of time just coming up with things to do to make my life easier on a whim - washing the car, picking up a small gift, buying something to make my office more organized, or basiaclly thinking, "ok, I'm finished with my to-do list, what else can I do to de-stress her life?"
Akasha
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