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Gags and safewords? - 6/23/2008 11:06:31 AM   
Gorgias


Posts: 41
Joined: 10/31/2007
Status: offline 		Gags are hot, and while the inability to give a safeword is somewhat appealing as well, it's not the most responsible activity in the world.  I suppose one could use some sort of safe gesture, but that means that at least some of your limbs have to be unrestrained; no fun at all.  I've been trying to come up with a way to make this work- the only thing I can think of is maybe a safe tune?  Maybe ths ub could hum it, which should be possible during play, but it might not be loud enough to get dom's attention....
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RE: Gags and safewords? - 6/23/2008 11:11:17 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		I have been told that some people use an article they can drop.  Meh.
Our option is to not use a safeword.
 
the.dark.

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RE: Gags and safewords? - 6/23/2008 11:13:41 AM   
charlotteS


Posts: 203
Joined: 3/9/2008
Status: offline 		Master and I don't use a safeword.  He can tell when my distress is more than just "Damn that hurts."  However, I've been gagged in play with other people and used a safe word of "uh uh uh uh uh" and shake my head till someone comes to my assistance.  So far that works fine for me.

charlotte


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RE: Gags and safewords? - 6/23/2008 11:20:33 AM   
sassysexygirl


Posts: 213
Joined: 8/23/2007
Status: offline 		greetings Gorgias ~~

i agree with the.dark, as i play by RACK and do not require safewords.  i think generally, if i trust them enough to play, i trust them enough to not need a safeword.

but anyway, to Your question.  when playing with someOne who does want me to have one -- (1) i was given a bell to drop if it becomes too intense so that He could hear the bell.  (2)  at a place in Columbus, Ohio, there was very loud music.  therefore, i was instructed to keep my hands open.  He kept an eye on my hands.  if i made fist(s), there was a problem.

well wishes,
gemmie

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RE: Gags and safewords? - 6/23/2008 11:45:35 AM   
OmegaG


Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline 		He knows the sounds that I make and which are good sounds and which are sounds indicating something is wrong, the few times I've made those sounds, he's paused to find out what is wrong before I've even decided if it's something that I need to stop for or can work through.

I've read or heard somewhere that giving someone a squeeky ball to hold or a bell to ring is a precaution.  Probably something I would consider if I was playing with someone when he wasn't there to interpret.

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RE: Gags and safewords? - 6/23/2008 11:45:55 AM   
CruelDesires


Posts: 824
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		I have used bells and cat toys with bells inside of them when I was running a D. Usually with a bright ribbon attached to help be seen easier in a dark dungeon environment.

CD

< Message edited by CruelDesires -- 6/23/2008 11:46:26 AM >

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RE: Gags and safewords? - 6/23/2008 12:08:47 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Eye blinks, hand squeezes, foot stomps, any movement can be a signal.

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RE: Gags and safewords? - 6/23/2008 12:19:35 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		Our local dungeon requires the use of a drop item if the person is gagged.  I certainly wouldn't put any hope at all on humming a tune.

Cali


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RE: Gags and safewords? - 6/23/2008 12:31:08 PM   
softness


Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

I have been told that some people use an article they can drop.  Meh.
Our option is to not use a safeword.
 
the.dark.

 
likewise ... plus .. its rude to talk with your mouthful

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RE: Gags and safewords? - 6/23/2008 1:19:54 PM   
Skully7000


Posts: 377
Joined: 7/22/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sassysexygirl

greetings Gorgias ~~

i agree with the.dark, as i play by RACK and do not require safewords.  i think generally, if i trust them enough to play, i trust them enough to not need a safeword.

but anyway, to Your question.  when playing with someOne who does want me to have one -- (1) i was given a bell to drop if it becomes too intense so that He could hear the bell.  (2)  at a place in Columbus, Ohio, there was very loud music.  therefore, i was instructed to keep my hands open.  He kept an eye on my hands.  if i made fist(s), there was a problem.

well wishes,
gemmie


I'm the opposite:
whenever I do a scene with my 11' whip I give the following speach:

" now I'm going to be 11' plus feet away. its a noisey club... I can't hear you safeword.  if you keep your hands balled up in a fist...I'm not coming anywhere near you.. I don't want you to punch me. If you open your hands up I'm going to STOP and come and give you a Hi-Five."

this usually gets a giggle...and then I have them open their hand.. and I give them a Hi-Five...then when they make a fist...I put up my dukes...and step back as I'm ducking and weaving... they get the idea... then I come back to them and  quietly whisper in their ear something dirty and tell them how I want them positioned.

If I check on them some point during the scene I ask again: "what do you do if You want me to check in on you?" they open their hands...and we continue If its a fun scene I will Hi-Five them... if its a bit more serious I will give them a tap on the ass and say "Good____"

Cheers
Skully

P.S. I don't like the idea of a drop item because if you miss the drop, for whatever reason...thats it... though if you are going to use a drop: I would like to see one of those bouncy balls that light up when you bounce them... so when you see a red flashy thing bouncing around your scene it will more likely catch your attention.

but I also play in fetish clubs where the lights can be a little low, and the music can be a bit loud...just as much as I play in dungeons or house parties etc.  

< Message edited by Skully7000 -- 6/23/2008 1:24:55 PM >

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RE: Gags and safewords? - 6/23/2008 1:53:19 PM   
gypsygrl


Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
Status: offline 		For years I've been really funky about being restrained and gagged during pain play.  I can handle the bondage/gagging by itself, and I can handle the pain play, but I can't do them both together (I suck at multi-tasking anyway) But, I've been wanting to work through it because its a little bit of crap in my head that a former d-type left behind and I don't like it being there.  So, a friend's been helping me out with this.

We do something called aesthetic bondage.  The ropes around my wrists can be undone in about 10 seconds.  The gag is loose enough for me to work off by wiggling my chin.  When he uses tape, I can work it off with my tounge.  We're not real consistent in our use of safe words, but if he sees me trying to escape, while I'm violently shaking my head no, he kind of gets the message.  

Generally, our sessions are kind of chaotic and off the cuff so gestures, bells and cat toys wouldn't really work.  They would require way too much organization for our off the cuff scenes.  In more structured sessions, I can see them having their place and have been told to use similar things to good effect.






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RE: Gags and safewords? - 6/23/2008 1:53:41 PM   
softness


Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline 		nodnodsnods .. hand signals

there is a local Domme I have played with .. and we found the easiest way to communicate in a busy noisy dungeon was with hand signals ... it works well for us, we are both experienced players  and so we both enjoy a long fairly heavy going scene with slower and faster paced points of transition (so closed fist "yeah baby" clenching fist open and closed "not sure about that do it again so I can decide" and open palm "oh you bitch many more of those and you will be buying your own drinks later on". She is very vigilant and sometimes picks up when i am signalling unconsciously ... it works for us better than words would especially as the space we use to play is so loud I would have to be bellowing "RED!" for her to hear me.

so i should have originally posted .. it depends whether I am playing with my Owner .. or my Dom/me friends 

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RE: Gags and safewords? - 6/23/2008 2:02:21 PM   
Constrictor1


Posts: 143
Joined: 6/29/2006
From: Constrictor1
Status: offline 		I like for her to use my keychain as a drop item. Not only do I use that during silence play it is a good tool for safewording during breath play. ( not attempting to hijack).

Constrictor1

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RE: Gags and safewords? - 6/23/2008 2:59:40 PM   
Daes


Posts: 246
Joined: 4/20/2007
From: Diamond Bar, SoCal
Status: offline 		I reccomend gags only if you know your partner and can read him/her well enough to know when things are too much In addition to some kind of gesture or tool, something to say "Stop" if something goes awry.

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RE: Gags and safewords? - 6/23/2008 3:12:43 PM   
ProtagonistLily


Posts: 1222
Joined: 12/27/2004
Status: offline 		Sir and I don't use a safe word, given the nature of our relationship. However, prior to him, I was not necessarily intimately involved with those whom I bottomed to, and I always negotiated scenes and used safe words.

When gagged, I found the method that the dark mentioned quite useful - having something in my hand to 'drop' as a signal. I never used it, but it was there just in case.

You have to find your own comfort level. I get a little nervous when I see those of us in committed, collared relationships talk of our non-use of safe words.

While it seems generally pervasive and acceptable in bonded relationships not to use safe words, I don't personally advocate not using them in casual play. I only used my safeword 1 time in 10 years of being involved in WIIWD; however, it was much needed that one particular time.How you define casual play is entirely up to you, and obviously your mileage may vary on my little safety PSA here ~grin~

PL

< Message edited by ProtagonistLily -- 6/23/2008 3:13:49 PM >

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RE: Gags and safewords? - 6/23/2008 6:06:39 PM   
devoutHeretic


Posts: 59
Joined: 3/26/2007
Status: offline 		here is what has been used in my scenes...
crossing of the wrists
crossing of the ankles
violent shaking of the head

depends on what is bound


(yes, I make a point of not binding all 3 at once...and just for that reason)

edit:spelling and format crimes

< Message edited by devoutHeretic -- 6/23/2008 6:45:33 PM >

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RE: Gags and safewords? - 6/23/2008 6:51:26 PM   
markel


Posts: 17
Joined: 8/10/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

Our local dungeon requires the use of a drop item if the person is gagged.  I certainly wouldn't put any hope at all on humming a tune.

Cali


Indeed, humming a tune while choking on vomit might be really tough

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RE: Gags and safewords? - 6/23/2008 6:53:54 PM   
devoutHeretic


Posts: 59
Joined: 3/26/2007
Status: offline 		vomit squicks me, but thats my shit

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RE: Gags and safewords? - 6/23/2008 7:27:28 PM   
bipolarber


Posts: 2792
Joined: 9/25/2004
Status: offline 		Vomit is somethng that can happen suddenly, without a lot of warning. If you are restrained and have a mouth full of gag, it could very well be dangerous. Same thing with cramps, or cut off circulation, or difficulty in breathing... So, as much as I respect the "no safeword" players' right to fool around as they see fit, I always make sure the folks I play with know that three fast grunts = safeword. Or some other equally obvious signal that says, "The fun and games are nice, but I'm in real fucking trouble here!"

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RE: Gags and safewords? - 6/23/2008 7:37:28 PM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline 		I've played with people who can read my body language well enough that I trust them to play without a safeword, gagged or not.

On the other hand, I've played with others who request a hand signal, which is difficult... I had my hand go numb while gagged once. "Nuh-uh!" can be heard pretty clearly through a gag though... altho I'd rather just rely on basic body language. If you can't tell whats going on with me, you don't need to be getting rough.


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