Gags and safewords?

Gags and safewords? (Full Version)

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Gorgias -> Gags and safewords? (6/23/2008 11:06:31 AM)
Gags are hot, and while the inability to give a safeword is somewhat appealing as well, it's not the most responsible activity in the world. I suppose one could use some sort of safe gesture, but that means that at least some of your limbs have to be unrestrained; no fun at all. I've been trying to come up with a way to make this work- the only thing I can think of is maybe a safe tune? Maybe ths ub could hum it, which should be possible during play, but it might not be loud enough to get dom's attention....

RCdc -> RE: Gags and safewords? (6/23/2008 11:11:17 AM)
I have been told that some people use an article they can drop. Meh. Our option is to not use a safeword. the.dark.

charlotteS -> RE: Gags and safewords? (6/23/2008 11:13:41 AM)
Master and I don't use a safeword. He can tell when my distress is more than just "Damn that hurts." However, I've been gagged in play with other people and used a safe word of "uh uh uh uh uh" and shake my head till someone comes to my assistance. So far that works fine for me. charlotte

sassysexygirl -> RE: Gags and safewords? (6/23/2008 11:20:33 AM)
greetings Gorgias ~~ i agree with the.dark, as i play by RACK and do not require safewords. i think generally, if i trust them enough to play, i trust them enough to not need a safeword. but anyway, to Your question. when playing with someOne who does want me to have one -- (1) i was given a bell to drop if it becomes too intense so that He could hear the bell. (2) at a place in Columbus, Ohio, there was very loud music. therefore, i was instructed to keep my hands open. He kept an eye on my hands. if i made fist(s), there was a problem. well wishes, gemmie

OmegaG -> RE: Gags and safewords? (6/23/2008 11:45:35 AM)
He knows the sounds that I make and which are good sounds and which are sounds indicating something is wrong, the few times I've made those sounds, he's paused to find out what is wrong before I've even decided if it's something that I need to stop for or can work through. I've read or heard somewhere that giving someone a squeeky ball to hold or a bell to ring is a precaution. Probably something I would consider if I was playing with someone when he wasn't there to interpret.

CruelDesires -> RE: Gags and safewords? (6/23/2008 11:45:55 AM)
I have used bells and cat toys with bells inside of them when I was running a D. Usually with a bright ribbon attached to help be seen easier in a dark dungeon environment. CD

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Gags and safewords? (6/23/2008 12:08:47 PM)
Eye blinks, hand squeezes, foot stomps, any movement can be a signal.

CalifChick -> RE: Gags and safewords? (6/23/2008 12:19:35 PM)
Our local dungeon requires the use of a drop item if the person is gagged. I certainly wouldn't put any hope at all on humming a tune. Cali

softness -> RE: Gags and safewords? (6/23/2008 12:31:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark I have been told that some people use an article they can drop. Meh. Our option is to not use a safeword. the.dark. likewise ... plus .. its rude to talk with your mouthful

Skully7000 -> RE: Gags and safewords? (6/23/2008 1:19:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sassysexygirl greetings Gorgias ~~ i agree with the.dark, as i play by RACK and do not require safewords. i think generally, if i trust them enough to play, i trust them enough to not need a safeword. but anyway, to Your question. when playing with someOne who does want me to have one -- (1) i was given a bell to drop if it becomes too intense so that He could hear the bell. (2) at a place in Columbus, Ohio, there was very loud music. therefore, i was instructed to keep my hands open. He kept an eye on my hands. if i made fist(s), there was a problem. well wishes, gemmie I'm the opposite: whenever I do a scene with my 11' whip I give the following speach: " now I'm going to be 11' plus feet away. its a noisey club... I can't hear you safeword. if you keep your hands balled up in a fist...I'm not coming anywhere near you.. I don't want you to punch me. If you open your hands up I'm going to STOP and come and give you a Hi-Five." this usually gets a giggle...and then I have them open their hand.. and I give them a Hi-Five...then when they make a fist...I put up my dukes...and step back as I'm ducking and weaving... they get the idea... then I come back to them and quietly whisper in their ear something dirty and tell them how I want them positioned. If I check on them some point during the scene I ask again: "what do you do if You want me to check in on you?" they open their hands...and we continue If its a fun scene I will Hi-Five them... if its a bit more serious I will give them a tap on the ass and say "Good____" Cheers Skully P.S. I don't like the idea of a drop item because if you miss the drop, for whatever reason...thats it... though if you are going to use a drop: I would like to see one of those bouncy balls that light up when you bounce them... so when you see a red flashy thing bouncing around your scene it will more likely catch your attention. but I also play in fetish clubs where the lights can be a little low, and the music can be a bit loud...just as much as I play in dungeons or house parties etc.

gypsygrl -> RE: Gags and safewords? (6/23/2008 1:53:19 PM)
For years I've been really funky about being restrained and gagged during pain play. I can handle the bondage/gagging by itself, and I can handle the pain play, but I can't do them both together (I suck at multi-tasking anyway) But, I've been wanting to work through it because its a little bit of crap in my head that a former d-type left behind and I don't like it being there. So, a friend's been helping me out with this. We do something called aesthetic bondage. The ropes around my wrists can be undone in about 10 seconds. The gag is loose enough for me to work off by wiggling my chin. When he uses tape, I can work it off with my tounge. We're not real consistent in our use of safe words, but if he sees me trying to escape, while I'm violently shaking my head no, he kind of gets the message. Generally, our sessions are kind of chaotic and off the cuff so gestures, bells and cat toys wouldn't really work. They would require way too much organization for our off the cuff scenes. In more structured sessions, I can see them having their place and have been told to use similar things to good effect.

softness -> RE: Gags and safewords? (6/23/2008 1:53:41 PM)
nodnodsnods .. hand signals there is a local Domme I have played with .. and we found the easiest way to communicate in a busy noisy dungeon was with hand signals ... it works well for us, we are both experienced players and so we both enjoy a long fairly heavy going scene with slower and faster paced points of transition (so closed fist "yeah baby" clenching fist open and closed "not sure about that do it again so I can decide" and open palm "oh you bitch many more of those and you will be buying your own drinks later on". She is very vigilant and sometimes picks up when i am signalling unconsciously ... it works for us better than words would especially as the space we use to play is so loud I would have to be bellowing "RED!" for her to hear me. so i should have originally posted .. it depends whether I am playing with my Owner .. or my Dom/me friends

Constrictor1 -> RE: Gags and safewords? (6/23/2008 2:02:21 PM)
I like for her to use my keychain as a drop item. Not only do I use that during silence play it is a good tool for safewording during breath play. ( not attempting to hijack).[sm=donttaseme.gif] Constrictor1

Daes -> RE: Gags and safewords? (6/23/2008 2:59:40 PM)
I reccomend gags only if you know your partner and can read him/her well enough to know when things are too much In addition to some kind of gesture or tool, something to say "Stop" if something goes awry.

ProtagonistLily -> RE: Gags and safewords? (6/23/2008 3:12:43 PM)
Sir and I don't use a safe word, given the nature of our relationship. However, prior to him, I was not necessarily intimately involved with those whom I bottomed to, and I always negotiated scenes and used safe words. When gagged, I found the method that the dark mentioned quite useful - having something in my hand to 'drop' as a signal. I never used it, but it was there just in case. You have to find your own comfort level. I get a little nervous when I see those of us in committed, collared relationships talk of our non-use of safe words. While it seems generally pervasive and acceptable in bonded relationships not to use safe words, I don't personally advocate not using them in casual play. I only used my safeword 1 time in 10 years of being involved in WIIWD; however, it was much needed that one particular time.How you define casual play is entirely up to you, and obviously your mileage may vary on my little safety PSA here ~grin~ PL

devoutHeretic -> RE: Gags and safewords? (6/23/2008 6:06:39 PM)
here is what has been used in my scenes... crossing of the wrists crossing of the ankles violent shaking of the head depends on what is bound (yes, I make a point of not binding all 3 at once...and just for that reason) edit:spelling and format crimes

markel -> RE: Gags and safewords? (6/23/2008 6:51:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CalifChick Our local dungeon requires the use of a drop item if the person is gagged. I certainly wouldn't put any hope at all on humming a tune. Cali Indeed, humming a tune while choking on vomit might be really tough

devoutHeretic -> RE: Gags and safewords? (6/23/2008 6:53:54 PM)
vomit squicks me, but thats my shit

bipolarber -> RE: Gags and safewords? (6/23/2008 7:27:28 PM)
Vomit is somethng that can happen suddenly, without a lot of warning. If you are restrained and have a mouth full of gag, it could very well be dangerous. Same thing with cramps, or cut off circulation, or difficulty in breathing... So, as much as I respect the "no safeword" players' right to fool around as they see fit, I always make sure the folks I play with know that three fast grunts = safeword. Or some other equally obvious signal that says, "The fun and games are nice, but I'm in real fucking trouble here!"

Lynnxz -> RE: Gags and safewords? (6/23/2008 7:37:28 PM)
I've played with people who can read my body language well enough that I trust them to play without a safeword, gagged or not. On the other hand, I've played with others who request a hand signal, which is difficult... I had my hand go numb while gagged once. "Nuh-uh!" can be heard pretty clearly through a gag though... altho I'd rather just rely on basic body language. If you can't tell whats going on with me, you don't need to be getting rough.

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