|
pinkieplum -> The Joys of Age (6/21/2008 9:07:02 AM)
|
Do they still teach Erikson's Theory of Pyschosocial Development in Psych 101 classes? i find myself experiencing the growth and development i recall as part of his theory.
Erikson theorised that personality development does not end in adolescence.
Instead as W/we age, W/we have opportunties for growth and joy W/we did not have when W/we were young.
quote:
hope - Basic Trust vs. Mistrust - Infant stage. Does the child believe its caregivers to be reliable?
will - Autonomy vs. Shame and Doubt - Toddler stage. Child needs to learn to explore the world. Bad if the parent is too smothering or completely neglectful.
purpose - Initiative vs. Guilt - Kindergarten - Can the child plan or do things on his own, such as dress him or herself. If "guilty" about making his or her own choices, the child will not function well. Erikson has a positive outlook on this stage, saying that most guilt is quickly compensated by a sense of accomplishment.
competence - Industry vs. Inferiority - Around age 6 to puberty. Child comparing self worth to others (such as in a classroom environment). Child can recognise major disparities in personal abilities relative to other children. Erikson places some emphasis on the teacher, who should ensure that children do not feel inferior.
fidelity - Identity vs. Role Confusion - Teenager. Questioning of self. Who am I, how do I fit in? Where am I going in life? Erikson believes that if the parents allow the child to explore, they will conclude their own identity. However, if the parents continually push him/her to conform to their views, the teen will face identity confusion.
love (in intimate relationships, work and family) - Intimacy vs. Isolation - Young adult. Who do I want to be with or date, what am I going to do with my life? Will I settle down? This stage has begun to last longer as young adults choose to stay in school and not settle.
caring - Generativity vs. Stagnation - the Mid-life crisis. Measure accomplishments/failures. Am I satisfied or not? The need to assist the younger generation. Stagnation is the feeling of not having done anything to help the next generation.
wisdom - Ego Integrity vs. Despair - old age. Some handle death well. Some can be bitter, unhappy, dissatisfied with what they accomplished or failed to accomplish within their life time. They reflect on the past, and either conclude at satisfaction or despair.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erik_Erikson
i'd say i failed to accomplish love -- romantic love anyway, for i truely love my UM, my family and my closest friends -- until i found D/s. As i learned about submission, i could feel my heart opening and the desire to care for, serve, please and love a Man begin to emerge.
Very shortly i'll turn 50, and i admit, a part of me is afraid. It's hard to feel the joys of youth slip beyond my grasp forever. It's hard to know i'm no longer fertile and will never have another UM.
But there have been joys too. i'm free of the risk of an unwanted or unplanned pregnancy. i'm free of the trials and tribulations of raising a UM. i'm even free of the need to work to support myself and my UM -- i have a pension now. i'll never again lie awake at night and worry whether some politico will come hunting for me.
i haven't changed very much in appearance since i was about 35. There are no crow's feet; no laugh line, nothing.
i did gain weight a couple of years ago when my thyroid function failed, and i'm overweight for the first time in my life. That's a little hard to handle -- i still see myself as a very curvy, sexy woman.
But oddly, even gaining weight hasn't negatively impacted my relationships with Men. There's not a doubt in my mind that a goodly number of Men find me desirable. i guess, in my 40's, i just assumed that would be over by now....but my age doesn't seem to foreclose romantic possibilities -- and may even open some.
There's so much less worry, anxiety and stress. It's so much easier for me to be of assistance to my UM. If things were a little different, i could be of great asistance to my nieces and nephew as well....but i take it on faith that if they really need help, they'll come to me.
i am still politically active, but in such a different way. No more campaign work; instead, i find PACs i think are effective and work through them on issues of importance to me. Focusing on issues rather than candidates is much more gratifying to me.
The time of self-sacrifice is over. No more working 7 days a week to prep for trial. No more pro bono work for the seriously distressed. No more 'instant cash' for my UM.
i expected to find myself at 50 looking back, reviewing my life and tallying up my accomplishments vs my regrets. Yet instead, i actually focus on the present...and the future. What makes me happy? What else might be out there to discover that makes me happy? When i do look back, i see the joys i felt in college; or in being pregnant & having my UM; or in finding my own spiritual path.
It's as if all the bad stuff has fallen away -- the sad childhood; the bad marriage; the betrayals of politicans i gave my loyalty and time to -- all of it. i remember -- but s'how i don't feel the sadness anymore.
i've accepted that i cannot know what life will be like for me as i continue to age. For the first time, it seems possible, even likely, that even old age may hold joys i cannot yet foresee. i can't remember ever being so open to Life before.
A/anyone else finding pleasant surprises as T/they age?
pinkieplum
|
|
|
|
