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Definition please - 6/20/2008 5:05:37 PM   
SilentTigresss


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Hello to all who reads..........
What does "UM" or Um" mean please ?
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RE: Definition please - 6/20/2008 5:07:02 PM   
BossyShoeBitch


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"Un Mentionable" (as in offspring).

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RE: Definition please - 6/20/2008 5:07:04 PM   
sub4hire


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children..talking about them is against TOS...so people use um instead.

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RE: Definition please - 6/20/2008 5:08:35 PM   
SilentTigresss


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Ohhhhhhhhh.. thank you very much.  

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RE: Definition please - 6/20/2008 5:51:22 PM   
faerytattoodgirl


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uber moron  

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RE: Definition please - 6/21/2008 12:50:38 AM   
ModeratorEleven


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quote:

ORIGINAL: sub4hire

children..talking about them is against TOS...so people use um instead.

For some stupid reason, people think using such "code words" to refer to children makes it ok. 

It doesn't.

XI



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RE: Definition please - 6/21/2008 5:37:00 AM   
Termyn8or


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It is more context. I also find it not smart to use UM to try to gloss it over. If you are talking about a young person, one not of age just use the proper term.

The way I see it CM is not going to tolerate talking about UMs in any sexual way, unless it is a Parent worried that their daughter may come home pregnant. Things like that.

People use the words 'kids' and 'children' all the time here, but it is the context. If you get out of line, using the term 'UM' it not going to save your ass.

This is an online forum, and people will talk about their kids, their graduations, moving out, being born, all that. This is all part and parcel of an online group such as this. I don't see threads pulled for simply mentioning children, to do so would be to imply that us kinky folk should not have them, when after being around here for awhile, I can not find much that is further from the truth.

The term UM seems to give people a false sense of security against further hacks and attacks by the nilla crowd. In fact I think even the use of the term 'UM' is detrimental.

This is an online community of how many tens of thousands of people ? Let's say one is a pedophile, then when they get caught (which I hope they do) in the courts and newspapers they can further villify us by saying "Look, this guy goes to a website that uses a code word for children".

So I must agree with Mod 11 on this, it does not make it OK. I'd recommend against it. It is context. Young people exist in life and will be discussed. People come in here and say their oldest UM just graduated etc., why can't they say son or daughter ?

I say don't try to subvert that which does not need to be subverted. And if something does require subversion I am sure it is quite unwelcome here.

It's like in the TOS, no mention of illegal activity. But if someone got robbed and wants to relate the story that does not get bounced. Someone has mentionerd getting raped, not by a member or anything but that's how it is and they want to discuss it. They won't bounce that.

I have read the TOS once and have inadvertently violated it here and there, and it has been explained to me that it cannot quite be explained to me. But I am starting to get the gist of it. You see I now realize that this is the largest of the large, the best foot so to speak, the almost representative of the BDSM community to the rest of the world.

That is why it is so important to be careful what you post here, you know it can be viewed by anyone, but only members can post. CM wants to put out a positive impression of our ilk, and I think most here are good people.

So there are so many exceptions to the rule, and there are rules in place which have yet to be written. But that's the way it is. If you want total freedom try Usenet, but get ready for some spam and other annoyances.

I still say using the term 'UM' is not right. Use the right word. If the post is unwelcome for whatever reason it doesn't matter what term you use. In other words, don't try to hide when you have no reason to hide.

T

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RE: Definition please - 6/21/2008 5:43:31 AM   
SilentTigresss


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Thank you everyone.

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RE: Definition please - 6/23/2008 12:10:35 AM   
JulieorSarah


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um er ah oh kinda may have another meaning too!

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RE: Definition please - 6/23/2008 4:28:45 AM   
pinkieplum


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quote:

ORIGINAL: SilentTigresss

Hello to all who reads..........
What does "UM" or Um" mean please ?


Laffs. It's a silly acronymn meaning 'unmentionable' because the TOS prohibits 'discussions involving <blank>'.
 
If someone addresses you as 'Mom' you have a 'UM'.
 
i've never seen this acronymn used anywhere else but these boards -- not even the other side of CollarMe.
 
pinkieplum

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RE: Definition please - 6/23/2008 7:54:14 AM   
SweetNika


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I always thought of my bras and panties as my unmentionables not my spawn. -laughs-



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RE: Definition please - 6/23/2008 11:51:08 AM   
DomKen


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quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetNika

I always thought of my bras and panties as my unmentionables not my spawn. -laughs-

Around here we welcome mention of your bras and panties.

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RE: Definition please - 6/23/2008 6:32:13 PM   
SweetNika


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Mine? I don't wear panties-laughs- so we wont be talking about those but perhaps we could talk about yours! -winks-

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RE: Definition please - 6/23/2008 6:41:52 PM   
Racquelle


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You know, people are always pretty much waiting to hear abput how us perverts are outr to corrupt children.  It has been my experience that almost none of us take an sexual interest in children.  People who do would likely not find the discussion here to be very stimulating.  All things considered, I find this a remarkably well self-moderated group.

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RE: Definition please - 6/23/2008 6:42:14 PM   
Griswold


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quote:

ORIGINAL: SilentTigresss

Hello to all who reads..........
What does "UM" or Um" mean please ?


It's a common acronym, so I'm confident others have already spelled it out for you...however....here's my post in response:

I've always been a huuuuge fan of CM.  When others bitch and moan about "how slow" it is, or that it doesn't provide "(pick whatever thing it should provide, according to some)" and I always reply that no one is paying a dime for the thing....so be quiet and smile a little in life....

And I know there are at least a kajillion things in life I don't understand...often times things that, when provided the details, I'll say something like "OH!!!!...sure....that makes sense!"....

But this one escapes me.  Truly.

With the exception of occasions where people (usually men) get carried away on some kink tangent...and how easily a discussion involving kids could degenerate into something that could end up causing CM to lose its ability to present to us that which is a fabulous service....for the exact monthly cost of (I'm multiplying the number by 12 so I can give you an annualized dollar amount)....roughly (not including pennies...just rounded dollar amounts).....

Zero.

And I thank you, CM ghosts, wherever you hide....

But truly, why can't we discuss children, when (or if) it's a safe and pertinent topic?

Is it just a rule so that it never degenerates in to that (other) place?

If so, it makes sense...flat rule, regardless...then it never goes "there".

But...is there another reason we can't discuss this topic as a rule?

I'm honestly curious. Mods or assistants, please weigh in.

(Tank eww )

< Message edited by Griswold -- 6/23/2008 6:44:43 PM >


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RE: Definition please - 6/23/2008 8:48:12 PM   
CruelDesires


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Im guessing that a site that deals with alternative lifstyles as well as sexual practices and interactions wants nothing to do with underage minors. Period. BTW. That is what I had assumed the UM abbreviation stood for.

CD

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RE: Definition please - 6/23/2008 9:07:51 PM   
TheHeretic


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       I think Termy nailed it, Gris.  This is a site for, and about kinky people and the games we play.  Some subjects simply don't need to be here, and the threads that go there, go away.  I think the mods show a great deal of good judgement in how the TOS is enforced in those regards.  We are largely normal sorts of people, with normal sorts of lives, and these topics come up in the normal sorts of conversations we sometimes have.

     UM, offspring, replicants, spawn, or my personal choice, ___'s are convenient euphemisms.  Reminders of where we are posting, and that anybody can read these forums.  If a post or thread crosses the line, it won't matter what verbiage is used.  I view the use of such terms as a tip of the hat to wisely administered TOS, rather than a loophole to wriggle around them.

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RE: Definition please - 6/23/2008 9:16:27 PM   
Termyn8or


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Ok dammit, there have been a few topics about people's kids.

If you say your daughter looks hot and you are worried about the guys coming around, I think that might fly. If you say certain other things you risk getting thrown off.

I know the subject is not the focus of this site, but everybody who has kids raises them, and it does get brought up from time to time.

Like I said there are rules yet unwritten, and loopholes in the rules that are. That is the way it is.

Now if your kids are really hellions, you might refer to them as unmentionables for another reason.

If for whatever reason you need to mention your kids in a post, and I am assuming this would be in a mundane context, I think it is wrong to try to cover it up with a code word.

In certain contexts, no matter what term you use, it is unacceptable. That is it. They just let it slide because nobody has gone there. We are not like that and I think the use of a code word is wrong.

That is all.

T

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