How would You 'Celebrate'? (Full Version)

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Kalista07 -> How would You 'Celebrate'? (6/19/2008 6:50:58 PM)

So, this coming weekend it will be exactly one year since something horrific occurred in my life.  i've been struggeling to find an appropriate way to put it all behind me.  At first i was going to jump out of an airplane, but that just seems pretty pricey, plus i would have to be attached to another person.  i'm looking for a way to make the new year vastly different. 
As this weekend is approaching, i can feel my anxiety growing.  He will be out of town beginning Friday and will return Monday. In all honesty, i'd love to beg Him to stay...But, there comes a point in time when i have to suck it up.
Any suggestions, ideas, recommendations would be greatly appreciated.
Kali





HandSolo -> RE: How would You 'Celebrate'? (6/19/2008 6:52:46 PM)

I think if you take extra training, they'll let you jump solo the first time.




Kalista07 -> RE: How would You 'Celebrate'? (6/19/2008 6:56:15 PM)

Of course, You are right they will....But each lesson costs money and it would be about a month before i could actually jump alone.
Kali 




DiurnalVampire -> RE: How would You 'Celebrate'? (6/19/2008 7:00:45 PM)

When I celebrated, I threw myself a little spoiling party. I bought a new outfit, including lengerie, and took really racy pictures for my significant other at the time. I wrote him an erotica story about us, and used the pictures I took as ilustrations for the story. By the end of the day I had kept so busy writing that I completely forgot to dwell on the anniversary.

DV




Kalista07 -> RE: How would You 'Celebrate'? (6/19/2008 7:19:33 PM)

DV,
That's actually an awesome idea.
Thanks,
Kali





Irishknight -> RE: How would You 'Celebrate'? (6/19/2008 7:22:59 PM)

I do whatever comes to mind.  One year, I got drunk.  The next I went out to a movie.  The year after that I went on a three day road trip.  The event that screwed with me happened on my birthday so it made it necessary to get away from other homosapiens.




Kalista07 -> RE: How would You 'Celebrate'? (6/19/2008 7:45:42 PM)

IrishKnight,
Thanks for the suggestions.... i've lost my right to a chemical peace of mind, but the other suggestions rock!!
Thanks,
Kali





petdave -> RE: How would You 'Celebrate'? (6/19/2008 8:03:33 PM)

i guess it depends on the nature of what happened, and what had changed since then. For the most part, i use bodyart to mark things of that nature, and i know many others do the same...




sappatoti -> RE: How would You 'Celebrate'? (6/19/2008 8:07:19 PM)

Though the anniversary I celebrate isn't the same kind as yours Kali, it is one that brings about very strong and conflicted emotions. Generally, I like to spend that day alone, usually in some place that brings me peace (like a favorite forest, beach, waterfall... basically in a natural setting), and reflect. How long I spend in my place of solitude depends upon how much reflection I need in order to release the pent up emotions and bring my mind and spirit back into balance.

I hope that whatever you decide to do this weekend to mark this occasion, you're able to bring a feeling of peaceful balance back into your life.

[... hugs ...]




hizgeorgiapeach -> RE: How would You 'Celebrate'? (6/19/2008 8:15:38 PM)

Depends on how finances are for me when "that" aniversary rolls around each year as to how I mark the occassion.
 
One year, it was getting a piece of Memorial ink.  Last year, it was going out to the lake by myself with a picnic lunch, my easle, paints, brushes, and digital camera  - 6 hours later I went home with a full camera, and 7 penciled line drawings of various portions of the lakeshore, and 3 completed Plein Aire paintings.  This year it was taking a day trip to a wildlife refuge and making a donation towards wolf rescue (personal significance in regards to the aniversary!)  It's never the same thing as previous years - but it always holds Personal significance for me.




Vendaval -> RE: How would You 'Celebrate'? (6/19/2008 8:28:09 PM)

Do something physically exhausting that will take all of your concentration, some sort of sport or exercise.




LuckyAlbatross -> RE: How would You 'Celebrate'? (6/19/2008 8:54:07 PM)

Why exactly do you need to suck it up?




Kalista07 -> RE: How would You 'Celebrate'? (6/20/2008 1:20:13 PM)

PetDave,
I was raped, beaten, and attacked...But, it wasn't just that it was my interaction with the police that i'd really like to put behind me.

Sappa,
You are a true friend indeed. Thank You.

Hisgeorgiapeach,
Those are awesome ideas and i'm going to take those into consideration.

Vendaval,
Thanks. My plan is to begin tomorrow morning by going to the gym..

LuckyAlbatross,
i don't know... He had planned for months to go out of town with His father to see His aunt who in from Hawaii.  i was honest with Him and told Him how scared i was before He left........And i know He felt bad and wished he could reschedule..

Kali







LadyHibiscus -> RE: How would You 'Celebrate'? (6/20/2008 2:07:56 PM)

I would spend time with your closest friend (other than him, obviously).  Do something completely different, out in the open, away from your house, with people you can trust.  And DV's idea, awesome....

Bummer about not being able to do the jump! 




Griswold -> RE: How would You 'Celebrate'? (6/20/2008 6:45:20 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalista07

So, this coming weekend it will be exactly one year since something horrific occurred in my life.  i've been struggeling to find an appropriate way to put it all behind me.  At first i was going to jump out of an airplane, but that just seems pretty pricey, plus i would have to be attached to another person.  i'm looking for a way to make the new year vastly different. 
As this weekend is approaching, i can feel my anxiety growing.  He will be out of town beginning Friday and will return Monday. In all honesty, i'd love to beg Him to stay...But, there comes a point in time when i have to suck it up.
Any suggestions, ideas, recommendations would be greatly appreciated.
Kali




It's pretty simple hon....he ain't worth it, you did your best and now it's time to move on.

(But I have to say....jumping out of a fucking airplane does totally rawk....and if you ain't more than 100 miles from me...I'll join ya [:D] )




PanthersMom -> RE: How would You 'Celebrate'? (6/20/2008 6:54:40 PM)

i would write out the entire experience as i remembered it, including the feelings i have about the event now.  i would tear the papers to shreds, find a charcol grill, soak the pieces in lighter fluid and let them burn away.  let the fears and anxiety drift away with the smoke.  you are a survivor, be proud you have come this far in your recovery and let the powers that be take the negatives away in the wind.  free yourself from the power that person had over you, then and now.  take back your life and never look back.  i'm a rape survivor too.
PM




Kalista07 -> RE: How would You 'Celebrate'? (6/20/2008 7:10:56 PM)

Lady Hibiscus,
You are too kind, and very wise..

Gris,
Thanks so much!! You made me smile.  i was beginning to wonder if i'd forgotten how to. 

PM,
You are of course, right.... 

Turns out one of my employees can not find child care for tomorrow. So, i'll be working the majority of tomorrow.

Thanks all, Your support means more than words can say.
Kali





GreedyTop -> RE: How would You 'Celebrate'? (6/20/2008 7:21:30 PM)

*smoooches Kali*  




Griswold -> RE: How would You 'Celebrate'? (6/20/2008 8:14:15 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalista07

Lady Hibiscus,
You are too kind, and very wise..

Gris,
Thanks so much!! You made me smile.  i was beginning to wonder if i'd forgotten how to. 

PM,
You are of course, right.... 

(Actually, the truth is...I'm right....but that's between you and me).

Turns out one of my employees can not find child care for tomorrow. So, i'll be working the majority of tomorrow.

Thanks all, Your support means more than words can say.
Kali






DomAviator -> RE: How would You 'Celebrate'? (6/20/2008 9:03:37 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: HandSolo

I think if you take extra training, they'll let you jump solo the first time.


No they wont. The USPA recognizes three training pathways for skydivers. Tandem, where you jump attatched to an instructor who handles the parachute, static line - where you are essentially cargo and your chute is opened by a line atttached to the aircraft and you essentially are deployed like a pallet of MRE's , and "Acellerated Free Fall" in which you jump with not one but two instructors physically holding your harness until you deploy the chute. IMHO, only the AFF method "counts" as jumping. In tandem you are a passenger, in static line you are cargo, and only in AFF do you actually deploy and control the chute. It takes 25 jumps (covering various requirements) to get an "A License" that lets you jump unassisted.

Kali, if you want the same sensation, but want to do it alone you can try a skydiving wind tunnel or you could try parasailing behind a boat... However, I would caution you and question the wisdom of commemorating a tragic event in your life by engaging in a "life or death" dangerous activity. I dont parachute any more than I have to so as to maintain currency as I really dont like it very much but may need to in an emergency so its one of those things I keep up on; but I sometimes fly skydivers and I am a SCUBA instructor. For what its worth, if I was your drop pilot and heard your motivation for the jump I wouldnt let you aboard the aircraft; nor would I let you participate in a SCUBA dive I was leading.

I empathize with what you experienced, and hope you find some special way to celebrate the event that brings you peace, solace, and closure. However, essentially walking up and slapping the grim reaper in the face and saying "I dare you" might not be the best plan. The importance of a clear head and good mindset and mental place while learning a new "adventure sport" cannot be overstated....




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