Excelling in Uncontrolled Environments?

Excelling in Uncontrolled Environments? (Full Version)

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MadRabbit -> Excelling in Uncontrolled Environments? (6/16/2008 11:06:03 PM)
One of those catch-phrases I hear repeated often by people who identity as submissive or slave is how they "excel and thrive in controlled environments and do their best under the authority of another". It tends to make me wonder how true is the opposite for Dominants. Personally, it's very true. I have the most energy and the most drive when I am the one calling the shots and making the decisions in any aspect of my life without the hindrance or the restriction of a clear authority figure. Reflecting on my culinary career, I've blown quite a few opportunities (sadly) over just silly stubbornness and hard-headedness. My job performance typically tends to be the lowest when I have had bosses who are the quintessential control freak and micro-manager and my resentment for them the highest. I've tuned down my natural problem with authority quite a lot with age, but I still have to fight that knee-jerk reaction in the back of my mind of packing up and saying "Fuck it. Do it yourself!" when someone shows up, begins making demands, altering plans, and telling me what to do. Now that I am in the beginnings of self-employment, the difference between my energy level, effort, and quality of work is drastic in comparison to working under the rule of a pompous middle manager or an abusive, control freak chef. Maybe it's pride, but I feel something that I haven't really felt working for someone else. Peace and contentment. So... I am curious if any other people who identify as Dominants/Masters/Tops/Whatever find that they excel in environments where they are the one's calling the shots as opposed to being ordered about.

darchChylde -> RE: Excelling in Uncontrolled Environments? (6/16/2008 11:15:39 PM)
hell, i'm far from a dominant (and a little to far from my Dominant, but that's not the question here); but i'm not one of those submissives that "excels in a controlled situation" i am far better when i know my job and am left the hell alone to do it

Leatherist -> RE: Excelling in Uncontrolled Environments? (6/16/2008 11:17:13 PM)
I do much better when I am the business boss. I'm only working a day job currently to get back on track to doing leather full time. The shop is almost finished-but I am going to hold on the the day job until this 'recession" blows over a bit more.

MidMichCowboy -> RE: Excelling in Uncontrolled Environments? (6/16/2008 11:29:31 PM)
I am not good at being micromanaged. Hell, I am not good at being managed at all. Most people find it surprising when I do refer decisions to my boss. But, I do good work and the executive team loves me, so my boss puts up with me. He gives me the tools I need and I analyze and do my thing. For the group, I do kind of end up taking control, be it through mentoring or helping people figure things out. I do at least try and be nice about it.

ownedgirlie -> RE: Excelling in Uncontrolled Environments? (6/16/2008 11:30:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MadRabbit I am curious if any other people who identify as Dominants/Masters/Tops/Whatever find that they excel in environments where they are the one's calling the shots as opposed to being ordered about. Slave here, but hell yes! I'm in a situation now where I am helping someone turn his business around. It's a situation where he is brilliant at what he does, but clueless about running a business. So right now he's looking to me to advise him on what he needs done. In just a few weeks I've already begun to make some positive and very effective changes that will save him money in the long run. It's exciting and fun and right up my alley. For the first time in a long time, I'm excited about where I work and what I'm doing. And it's perfect because right now I'm in a consulting role, which means I can give my opinion, and whether he takes my advice or not really makes no difference to me in the long run, unless I end up working there. But yeah, I love having command of my job, and having the autonomy to do it as I see fit. I've never been much of a follower in the work place.

summersprite -> RE: Excelling in Uncontrolled Environments? (6/16/2008 11:55:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MadRabbit One of those catch-phrases I hear repeated often by people who identity as submissive or slave is how they "excel and thrive in controlled environments and do their best under the authority of another". I am submissive but I absolutely disagree with this statement. Outside of my relationship with my Sir.... I hate authority, I hate working for someone else and I hate doing what I'm told...From an early age I was told I was a rebel, that I never 'complied' with authority. I was 'suspended' from high school several times for disobeying authority. I never did well in a team environment and hated having a boss in any way, shape or form. Hence, I left the vanilla husband a couple of years ago and I run my own life how I want to, which includes raising children (all boys), running my own business with a female friend, and being creative - I paint and write.... And the only person in this entire world that I defer to... is my Sir.

Skully7000 -> RE: Excelling in Uncontrolled Environments? (6/17/2008 1:19:38 AM)
hmm i had an entirely different idea of "uncontrolled"... taking it from a different perspective: I do great in Chaos... horrible in mundane. throw me into a fire and I will pull everyone through the other side without losing my smile. put me in a mundane boring slow paced situation and it all falls to shit. I get bored, distracted, antsy, and cranky. it is in that situation where I actually need a little bit of a "push" to keep going...but as you mentioned..micromanage or get to bossy and I get stubborn. part of why I can't imagine living anywhere outside of the nyc area(and i've tried a few places just to be sure) cheers Skully

Owner4SexSlave -> RE: Excelling in Uncontrolled Environments? (6/17/2008 1:19:59 AM)
MadRabbit, Thank you for having the Balls to start this tread. I totally understand where you are coming from. At one point in time, I actually managed a group of programmers. The people up above were what I call stupid and Micromanagment bad. Micromanagement tends to be either really great or bad. There's a fine art to it all. However, I held everybody together like super glue. If something really needed to get done, I had no problem getting a 120% and then some. However, this was because they respected me. Positive motivation and reinforcement is the key. Micromanagement is a good thing when it's interactive, and useful for training or getting into what is going on. However, very important to get honest feedback from people. The problem is that some people are complete idiots or assholes at Micromanagement attempts, they are clueless as to what's involved in their requests, let alone be able to maintain respect. I might micromanage somebody in the ways of doing this that or another thing. But I also would sit down and have a think tank talk with them. I would at times sit down, and let them ask me any friggen questions they wanted to. Sure I had to assign tasks, at times creative brainstorming was needed. I had my own moments, when I needed to be off totally on my own. In mad scientist mode, coming up with a solution to a problem. If pressed for time, I'd come out, bump and change assignments around. Let them know the reason why the radical changes. The 10,000 foot picture. Get the ball rolling, go from person to person double checking that things were going smooth! Basically, just to see where they were at, if any problems they were encountering. Make myself available to everybody under me. Some pin heads just bark out orders or commands and don't understand what they are demanding or asking, and get pissed off when their crazy demands are not getting met! You have to know who does what best, know the skills and mindset of people under you. Being in the middle management of people, it's a bit like being the super hero for those under you, trying to figure out the insanity of those above. Challenge and question insane shit, debate or whatever it takes. Get an understanding of what actually needs to get done! If anything else, I'd pick up the phone and call up a client and talk. Most cases the people up at the top level were stressing out over nothing and if anything were making up bullshit lies to push people. Such as it was were I worked. I was not always corperate! not full of bullshit. I thrived in the middle of it all though. However, there came a point, when it was a matter of ethics. Type of stuff, that makes you want to leave a job before the ship sinks and peoples names get dragged into the mud. A bit like the Exodus in the Bible. I left and within the passing weeks many people went elsewhere. I've been doing independent contract work since then. Not the same. I miss those days. Anyways, I thrive where I'm calling the shots. I know I'm a much better manager at things then some of the so called idiots that are supposed to know what the hell they are doing. I'm convinced, the world is ruled by idiots with money. Take the money away and they'd become powerless. Not everybody with money is this way, some are really smart and know what they are doing. When you don't have a lot of money, you need need to get your source of power somewhere else. Things such a respect, knowing what you are doing, proving yourself, and having some form of consistent eithical behavior. I tend to be more on top of my game and thrive when I'm calling the shots. I've actually been contemplating about this some lately. I'm considering make some work related changes in life. If anything perhaps, getting some people under me or working for another company again. I just know, I'm going to be looking for as many reasons why I should work there, as they are in looking at hiring me. These are thoughts I'm mulling over some right now.

MasterFireMaam -> RE: Excelling in Uncontrolled Environments? (6/17/2008 1:29:10 AM)
My preference is to be a member of a well-lead team. If it is not well-lead, I will leave or take over. Master Fire

Stusmobile -> RE: Excelling in Uncontrolled Environments? (6/17/2008 3:47:39 AM)
Nice thought provoking thread - I am definitely in charge in my work life ...... as far as possible at least when someone else is cutting the checks. I find that a few weeks after beginning at the bottom ladder I am being given the awkward jobs, the ones needing more brain than brawn and a lot of prototype type projects. I like that, like the autonomy and thinking about it, I'm not a team player in that I like to be left the hell alone with things. Normally on any given project there will be one or two people who I will be ok having help, but thats what they do is help, they don't get to take charge or take over a project ... thats my job. There are also those who I find I wouldn't trust to tie their own shoelaces, keep them the hell away or I will tell them they are idiots. I know, not politically correct, but my bosses have realised that it works for me and works for their business as well if they want things done right and on time. When I lived in Seattle, my then boss had a favourite saying about me "give him the prints, give him the materials and give him a wide berth" .... pretty much sums it up. Tell me what you need, where the parts are to make it and when you expect it out of the door ...... it'll get done. There have been jobs where I've been expected to step back from hands on work and lead ..... that doesn't work for me unless the team are good at their jobs. Much better to have two or three guys who know their stuff and you pay for it than have a dozen who need their hands holding for the smallest job. I like being hands on, like working with them and making something out of piles of materials ... I get pleasure in that and the management side of it just bores me. I've been lucky, not one of my bosses has ever complained about my work, my work ethics or the fact I like to work alone .... they accept that it's me and thats how I get things done to my satisfaction.

HalloweenWhite -> RE: Excelling in Uncontrolled Environments? (6/17/2008 4:44:25 AM)
I can deal with both, I've worked happily for people and just as happily on My own, which is what I'm doing atm. I have a problem with autority though when they don't have a clue what they're doing or I think they're making bad decisions, or just things I don't agree with, then I get bored, loose interest and become slow to co-operate, because I can see things are not going as well as they could be.

DominantJenny -> RE: Excelling in Uncontrolled Environments? (6/17/2008 5:26:56 AM)
I've never done well in the working world. I NEED control. I also need constant stimulation. So I'm a stay at home parent. The ONLY job I could have done indefinitely was the one I had right before I had my first child; I worked as a substitute (set my own days) aide in the school system. I didn't want to be a substitute teacher because being put in charge of a roomful of children I have no relationship with scared the crap out of me...I might be able to handle that after I've been a parent for a few more years. But working as an aide is (generally) a cooperative work experience, which makes a HUGE difference to me.

Quivver -> RE: Excelling in Uncontrolled Environments? (6/17/2008 6:27:15 AM)
I agree with MasterFireMaam in that for Me controlled is a choice ~ Give me a good manager = I am a good worker. A poor manager get's topped from the bottom or I walk.

MadRabbit -> RE: Excelling in Uncontrolled Environments? (6/17/2008 6:49:51 AM)
Thanks to everyone who's replied. quote: ORIGINAL: summersprite I am submissive but I absolutely disagree with this statement. Outside of my relationship with my Sir.... I hate authority, I hate working for someone else and I hate doing what I'm told...From an early age I was told I was a rebel, that I never 'complied' with authority. I was 'suspended' from high school several times for disobeying authority. I never did well in a team environment and hated having a boss in any way, shape or form. Hence, I left the vanilla husband a couple of years ago and I run my own life how I want to, which includes raising children (all boys), running my own business with a female friend, and being creative - I paint and write.... And the only person in this entire world that I defer to... is my Sir. I really have no idea nor am I trying to suggest that our relationship orientations have any bearing on our personal lives. I just figured I would throw it out there. It just so happens that I prefer the same role in other aspects of life that I do in my relationships

celticlord2112 -> RE: Excelling in Uncontrolled Environments? (6/17/2008 7:29:15 AM)
quote: I am curious if any other people who identify as Dominants/Masters/Tops/Whatever find that they excel in environments where they are the one's calling the shots as opposed to being ordered about. I am not surprised that self-identified dominants (esp those who incoporate D/s into their lives) prefer to work independently or to be in charge. By definition, such a personality seeks to rule rather than be ruled, to lead rather than to be led.

crouchingtigress -> RE: Excelling in Uncontrolled Environments? (6/17/2008 8:15:18 AM)
the most important thing for me as far as being happy in my career or relationship is that i believe in the person or the company. but i have only ever worked for someone else once at 16. i love being a CEO, although there was quite a learning curve at first, and things like accountability, shoddy workmanship, dealing with people who are like you describe ie: temperamental artists, and expectations, all had to be navigated....and i although i did not know what i was doing i did know one thing, power whispers it has no reason to yell. so i kept at it for a year, learning and growing, and now my company is on the fast track....super successfull. And when i look back on it i can attribute it to creating a controlled environment where every one knows their job, every one knows what is expected of them, the door is always open for me to hear things from my workers, but they are expected to discover solutions for themselves. i also credit having a mentor, having a vision, having every one invested in that vision, being fair, being a great communicator (not born with this skill took many classes and read many books but it is integral to a life time of happiness) and lastly having a code... this may sound crazy, but i live by the samurai code, and that is my compass, and before i had the code my company was all over the place but when i made it clear what My/our core values were, AND they saw me living them, everything fell into place. i took the same tone with my relationships, created a vision, got full buy in from the partners, open communication, had wonderful mentors, every one knows their role, being fair and open, people needing to come up with solutions for themselves, and living by a code of ethics and values... and although in one relationship i am the sub, and 2 i am the dom, and one i am just me....this formula seems to work. great post MR thanks for asking this question :)

Stephann -> RE: Excelling in Uncontrolled Environments? (6/17/2008 8:42:23 AM)
Hiya MR, I spent four years enlisted in the Marines. In that time, obviously, I lived what many might be able to consider a textbook slave's life: living where I'm told, doing a job I'm assigned, and severely punished for failing to perform adequately or any display of insubordination. I learned several things from the experience: 1) I thrive when there is structure 2) I wilt if that structure isn't to my taste. 3) How structure is imposed on others. In short, coming up the ranks taught me how to do a job, and later learned the psychological machinery that's used to mold people to do their jobs. In short, I'm a much better boss than I am an employee. All bosses have someone above them though: A manager answers to a VP, the VP to the Pres, the Pres to the CEO, the CEO to their shareholders, the shareholders to their shrew wives [;)] It isn't a mountain, it's a circle; we all answer to someone. Those of us who prefer to be in charge, tend to simply prefer to have greater flexibility in whom we 'serve.' I don't care for snooty, difficult to please people, so I wouldn't thrive owning a 5 star resturant. I love being around down to earth, friendly, open people; a Bar and Grill is much more suited to my taste. Yet there has to be a sufficient demand for a B&G in order to have a successful business. In short, it's up to me to find a niche that I enjoy, and clients that I enjoy serving, to run a successful business. But yeah, I know where you're coming from. Good luck in your endeavors. Stephan

Missokyst -> RE: Excelling in Uncontrolled Environments? (6/17/2008 9:51:39 AM)
No kidding. I am not a dominant but I do much better when I am left alone to work without being managed. I do more, go farther, tend to be more successful when I am not held by someone else's constraints and ego. In a work environment, let me be! At home I perfer to loosen my anal tendencies and let someone else call the shots. Kyst

Leatherist -> RE: Excelling in Uncontrolled Environments? (6/17/2008 11:40:39 AM)
Oned of the big things about having your own biz is being in control of who you work and associate with-something you do not have control of when working for someone else. It cuts way down on the annoyance and cost factors when you can choose worthwhile clients and co workers. And get rid of the distractive and parasitic ones. I'm pretty much the same way with friends-if people show themselves as debits-they tend to get blown off. I'm not terribly kind or sentimental that way. Have value-or hit the road.

Deliena -> RE: Excelling in Uncontrolled Environments? (6/17/2008 12:21:24 PM)
Well I'm a switch, but currently in a relationship where I am submissive, however outside of my relationship (when at work or dealing with my daughter) I am completely in charge. The best place you can put me is in an environment where there currently is chaos and tell me to put order into it (provided my bi-polar isn't messing with my head at the time) as I will get it sparkly sorted in next to no time. For a long time I worked as a temp and the company I worked through stated that my best quality was "sorting out crap and providing a better situation for the next person to come into" after several successful assignments. That said, in a D/s environment when I'm in the 's' role I prefer structure. I like to know in that situation what my parameters are. Parameters are probably the constant between the two paradigms. If I'm given lots of latitude and know how much responsiblity I can take on I'll rise to it, e.g. in a work role, if on the other hand I'm told where my boundaries are, e.g. in a D/s relationship I'll happily and contentedly live within them.

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