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RE: Is forgiveness a gift? - 6/15/2008 9:27:53 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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I think it's more of a blessing.

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RE: Is forgiveness a gift? - 6/15/2008 9:56:00 AM

Level

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A gift, kinda like submission?

It can be a gift.... to the one that angered you, to others involved in the situation, to yourself....

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RE: Is forgiveness a gift? - 6/15/2008 9:58:32 AM

FullCircle

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ForGiveness who came up with that word? They must have thought there was some giving in it, anyhow.

Antonym: Fortakeness to forgive others for the purpose of making yourself feel better rather than the person you are forgiving.

See OED agrees with me.

< Message edited by FullCircle -- 6/15/2008 10:27:22 AM >

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RE: Is forgiveness a gift? - 6/15/2008 10:10:05 AM

philosophy

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Forgive your enemies, if only to confuse them.

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RE: Is forgiveness a gift? - 6/15/2008 10:14:15 AM

Racquelle

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Calling forgiveness a gift is a metaphor. If its a metaphor tthat works for you - run with it. The act of forgiveness is for me a great relief. I prefer not to carry around ill will for others. It rarely effects the intended target. Just my peace of mind.

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RE: Is forgiveness a gift? - 6/15/2008 10:52:18 AM

kdsub

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Gwyn

What a wonderful attitude… and reading between the lines I would say you were an Angel to even consider forgiveness…even if it is for you and your well being.

To me there is more than one type of reason for forgiveness. There is the every day struggles of life for instance… social, work, and politics. I don’t forgive transgressions here I either close the person from my life…or battle with them as needed. There is no reason to forgive but nor is there a reason to hold grudges and go out of my way for revenge.

Then there is the deeply person transgressions. I am not as easily forgiving as you. The only way I would even consider forgiving someone that hurt me deeply is if THEY showed me they were truly sorry for the hurt they caused. And were taking personal responsibilities for the consequences for their actions.

Even then… just the fact that something in their make up allowed them to hurt me…I’ll never completely trust them not to do it again.

There are some unforgivable transgressions. Yes you want to get rid of the hate that is burning in you but not forget of forgive… Healing yourself and forgiving them are two different things.

Butch

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RE: Is forgiveness a gift? - 6/15/2008 12:57:50 PM

MissMorrigan

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I think often people confuse forgiving someone that has wronged you with a 'lay down and suck it up' attitude.

My family are patriarchal, financial resources were unlimited in the education of my elder sibling that's male. Whereas I was given a choice of either secretarial or nursing. I learned not to be reliant on others for what I want and need, and I do not blame my parents for their shortcomings given that they parented as they, themselves, were taught - it was a man's world. I've strived to show that it's a world of equal opportunities.

It may take me a while to forgive someone, but I do get there in the end - that doesn't meantosay they are given licence to repeat those wrongs and I truly believe that in by doing so, I am free of the emotional ties and the bitterness that would ensue as a result of maintaining that connection.

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RE: Is forgiveness a gift? - 6/15/2008 1:12:29 PM

popeye1250

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Gwynvyd, it is a gift, to the person being forgiven.

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RE: Is forgiveness a gift? - 6/15/2008 1:29:52 PM

slvemike4u

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If it is ,not all are entitled to it.Folks IMO there are indeed monsters they walk amongst us and they don't give the courtesy of wearing signs...they are called by many names I prefer predator it describes them well ...If you choose to look as forgiveness as a gift to oneself..IMO i will hold onto awareness and save my gifts for others...I feel safer that way

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RE: Is forgiveness a gift? - 6/15/2008 1:55:59 PM

chickpea

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forgiveness is a gift. And gifts are given to those out of choice. if they are truely sorry, apologized, and are going to make a sincere effort not to do it again..you should forgive if you have it in your heart. or if they're none of that, but you just need to forgive and let go in order to move on with your life. or both
forgiveness is more like an opportunity to the receiver to do better. an opportunity at a second chance is a gift.

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RE: Is forgiveness a gift? - 6/15/2008 2:04:40 PM

slvemike4u

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quote:

ORIGINAL: chickpea

forgiveness is a gift. And gifts are given to those out of choice. if they are truely sorry, apologized, and are going to make a sincere effort not to do it again..you should forgive if you have it in your heart. or if they're none of that, but you just need to forgive and let go in order to move on with your life. or both
forgiveness is more like an opportunity to the receiver to do better. an opportunity at a second chance is a gift.

Sorry for me this doesn't hold water...see previus post...there are monsters

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RE: Is forgiveness a gift? - 6/15/2008 2:19:11 PM

popeye1250

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quote:

ORIGINAL: slvemike4u

quote:

ORIGINAL: chickpea

forgiveness is a gift. And gifts are given to those out of choice. if they are truely sorry, apologized, and are going to make a sincere effort not to do it again..you should forgive if you have it in your heart. or if they're none of that, but you just need to forgive and let go in order to move on with your life. or both
forgiveness is more like an opportunity to the receiver to do better. an opportunity at a second chance is a gift.

Sorry for me this doesn't hold water...see previus post...there are monsters

Mike, true that.
But, you can say "I forgive you" right before you pull the handle and watch them fall through the trap door with a rope around their necks.
Did you see that tape of Saddam "jumping into eternity?"
We need to see a LOT more videos like that!
As some people say; "you'll be surprised at who's *not* in heaven."

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RE: Is forgiveness a gift? - 6/15/2008 2:25:46 PM

slvemike4u

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Popeye no argument ,though this particular monster denyed me the chance...he took himself out...his last bastard move

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RE: Is forgiveness a gift? - 6/15/2008 2:27:05 PM

Irishknight

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I used to get angry when someone chose to do me wrong. I would come up with nasty little things to do to them such as subscribing to gay porn mags in thier name and having them delivered to their military command. Occassionally I would commit violence upon those who I thought deserved it. All of that was a waste of my time and energy.
Now, forgiveness does not become an issue. Those who wrong me become nonentities. They no longer exist in my world. No hate, no anger, no grudge. If I am forced to deal with them, I do so in an emotionless fashion and leave no room for them to screw me over again.

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RE: Is forgiveness a gift? - 6/15/2008 2:33:34 PM

Vendaval

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I think that forgiving and forgetting are two different actions. Being able to forgive someone lets me go on with my life. Not forgetting their behavior protects myself and the people close to me. Some people are on a path of self destruction with drug/alcohol abuse, etc. and take down anyone in their path. In that situation it is best to stay out of their way until they learn and change their behavior.

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RE: Is forgiveness a gift? - 6/15/2008 2:35:13 PM

chickpea

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kay! well ummm i was talking about real forgiveness not the act of forgiveness. but whoever thought forgiveness can be THAT complicated. sheez ...staying away from all the gift giving brutes*big eye roll*

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RE: Is forgiveness a gift? - 6/15/2008 2:38:37 PM

popeye1250

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Vendaval

I think that forgiving and forgetting are two different actions. Being able to forgive someone lets me go on with my life. Not forgetting their behavior protects myself and the people close to me. Some people are on a path of self destruction with drug/alcohol abuse, etc. and take down anyone in their path. In that situation it is best to stay out of their way until they learn and change their behavior.

Vendaval, that's a good way to deal with it!
Irish, and as that paragon of virtue, Joseph P. Kennedy used to say;
"Don't get mad, get even!"

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RE: Is forgiveness a gift? - 6/15/2008 2:42:36 PM

Vendaval

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I feel it is my duty to protect the people around me who would be hurt by that sort of behavior. Unfortunately I know quite a few folks who slid downwards into addiction and violent behavior. Sometimes spending time in prison motivates them to change. Some just stay angry, wasted and abusive until they are put in their graves.

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RE: Is forgiveness a gift? - 6/15/2008 2:43:07 PM

slvemike4u

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This is the second time (what did you get dad thread) I have done this...but I will do it again because I should....Sorry for letting my poison leak all over my apologies...mike

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RE: Is forgiveness a gift? - 6/15/2008 2:45:46 PM

chickpea

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quote:

ORIGINAL: slvemike4u

This is the second time (what did you get dad thread) I have done this...but I will do it again because I should....Sorry for letting my poison leak all over my apologies...mike

i forgive you... *cackle*

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