RE: Fetish / BDSM - parties and dresscode (Full Version)

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Missokyst -> RE: Fetish / BDSM - parties and dresscode (6/13/2008 7:27:48 AM)

I have been to parties in leather or other corsets... and to parties in jeans and a t-shirt, or a nice gauzy dress.  My aim is to be comfortable, either socially, or physically.  None of the parties I have been to have had issues with that. If they had that's too bad.
However if your parties insist that you wear something you wouldnt normally wear on a night out, how about wearing something comfy, and finishing it off with bunny slippers?
I would never wear those to a bar.  My bunnies don't like sitting in puddles of liquor.
Kyst
quote:

ORIGINAL: HeidiAnn

i would be into that too.:) But in here the dresscode is defined so that the clothing it includes is something Y/you would not wear to a regular bar or night out. *Yawn*

heidi



CruelDesires -> RE: Fetish / BDSM - parties and dresscode (6/13/2008 7:30:13 AM)

You know. A sub/slave collar made out of some really bright hawaiian print material would look cool as hell and really turn heads. Expecially if it matched a shirt and was worn with a big straw hat with a matching hatband... Hmm... [:D]

CD



BumpStick -> RE: Fetish / BDSM - parties and dresscode (6/13/2008 7:35:40 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Viridana

I don't know how often I've debated this exact same topic with kinksters before. Doms are especially difficult. "I'm a dom and I wear what I feel like".

The answer I usually give is that nobody's attacking your domliness or trying to control you. Fetish partys are just like costume parties. If you're having a vanilla costume party, it is what it is, you don't get in unless you're wearing a costume.

On the other hand we try to also have events that are not with a strict dresscode so everybody will have somewhere to attend.



Well some of us (I personally) dont have alot of choices in my closet... I have BDUs, DCUs, Desert Storm DCUs, ACUs, Dress Greens (soon Dress Blues too), and not much else. A few jeans, dockers, couple polos and dress shirts and thats it other than shorts and t-shits. Plus my room is subject to inspection and they can go through EVERYTHING.



JohnWarren -> RE: Fetish / BDSM - parties and dresscode (6/13/2008 7:44:16 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BumpStick
Well some of us (I personally) dont have alot of choices in my closet... I have BDUs, DCUs, Desert Storm DCUs, ACUs, Dress Greens (soon Dress Blues too), and not much else. A few jeans, dockers, couple polos and dress shirts and thats it other than shorts and t-shits. Plus my room is subject to inspection and they can go through EVERYTHING.


Wear your CBR outfit.  The rubber fetishists will go nuts



CrazyC -> RE: Fetish / BDSM - parties and dresscode (6/13/2008 7:48:21 AM)

I don't know pin-up girl look is very fetish and still be done really classy. I have done that even to goth parties, because fetish clothing is just not my thing.

Being young and trying to hang with others who's BDSM clothing is just an extention of their goth, I have really tried to get into it. It has instead felt like a costume, and to be honest when i think of a hot scene that isn't what i am thinking. Now my wrap dress....that is hot...because it is easy on and easy off. :)



BumpStick -> RE: Fetish / BDSM - parties and dresscode (6/13/2008 7:51:53 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren
Wear your CBR outfit.  The rubber fetishists will go nuts


CBR? now what are you refering too... The MOPP gear has been replaced with the JLIST, only Rubber is the ProMask, Gloves, and overboots



BRNaughtyAngel -> RE: Fetish / BDSM - parties and dresscode (6/13/2008 8:07:08 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ViceVersa

I sometimes struggle with this question too because I'm...just...not...into...black so I usually opt for the most colorful item in my closet. Friends still make fun of a Hawaiian shirt I wore to a party a couple of years ago and hey, I'm okay with that. :-) I gotta be me.


Oh sugar, my Master wears kilts and a Hawaiian shirt quite often to our clubs parties. [&:]  I posted in another thread on what doms wear, that I respectfully explained to Him that tartans and tropicals don't generally go well together........ so He made Himself a kilt out of a tropical print.  LOL!  [;)]



HeidiAnn -> RE: Fetish / BDSM - parties and dresscode (6/13/2008 8:30:54 AM)

Thank Y/you all for Y/your replies. i got some really nice ideas and inspiring thoughts while reading this. LuckyAlbatross asked for the actual wording:

EHDOTON DRESSCODE (Unconditional dresscode)

"Dresscode: Fetish, BDSM, Latex, PVC, Uniforms, Elegant, Cyber, Gothic, Fantasy, Drag, Crossdressing

Juhlavieraiden asianmukainen pukeutuminen korostaa tilaisuuden luonnetta ja tunnelmaa. Mielikuvitus on rajanasi yhdistellessäsi asioita. Pääperiaatteena on, että kinky dresscoden täyttävällä bileasulla ei voi mennä viettämään tavallista ravintolailtaa tavalliseen ravintolaan."

For those few on here who do not understand finnish, it says that "Following the appropriate dresscode elevates the nature of the event and creates ambience. Y/your Imagination is the limit when combining things. The principle is, that with a outfit that fulfills the criteria of the kinky dresscode, Y/you cannot go spend an ordinary night out in an ordinary restaurant/nightclub.


The only thing that bothers me is that Wwe do not have any clubs here in Finland. All Wwe have for instance in the city i live in is app. 4 parties a year. And i agree with what was said in this thread - if i do not feel like dressing up, i do not go. But still, it is one missed party and one missed chance to meet like minded people. And, for the newcomers who do not have an extensive wardrobe  might hesitate to come. i know i did at my own time too.

heidi





abcbsex -> RE: Fetish / BDSM - parties and dresscode (6/13/2008 8:44:29 AM)

Well, they said crossdressing was okay... I'd wear the baggiest jeans possible, with a big wife beater and say I was dressing like a man. It's not like they can argue if a guy can dress up like a regular woman.



Viridana -> RE: Fetish / BDSM - parties and dresscode (6/13/2008 8:45:31 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: HeidiAnn
The only thing that bothers me is that Wwe do not have any clubs here in Finland. All Wwe have for instance in the city i live in is app. 4 parties a year. And i agree with what was said in this thread - if i do not feel like dressing up, i do not go. But still, it is one missed party and one missed chance to meet like minded people. And, for the newcomers who do not have an extensive wardrobe  might hesitate to come. i know i did at my own time too.


Same here in Iceland. There are no fetishclubs so the only fetish/BDSM events are those that the national BDSM association holds, and we try to hold one undresscoded event for every dresscoded event so there's a balance.

I know newcomers don't have an exessive wardrobe, but on the other hand when the fetish events were held there were alot of fetishists that had never before "come out of the closet" that told me and us that they'd never come to the fetish event if ordinary clothes were allowed. Being new and selfconcious would make them feel like they were the local freak show if it were that way. So the dresscode rules are not there to bother all the bdsm folks who are not into fetishes, but to make the fetishist comfortable in their surroundings and with their fetish. It's not like were military tough with the dresscode, it's mainly enough that people show some effort.



Viridana -> RE: Fetish / BDSM - parties and dresscode (6/13/2008 8:48:00 AM)

sorry double post




HeidiAnn -> RE: Fetish / BDSM - parties and dresscode (6/13/2008 8:54:02 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Viridana

So the dresscode rules are not there to bother all the bdsm folks who are not into fetishes, but to make the fetishist comfortable in their surroundings and with their fetish. It's not like were military tough with the dresscode, it's mainly enough that people show some effort.



That was a nice comment, Viridana, thank you. It makes a lot of sense to me.

heidi



SimplyMichael -> RE: Fetish / BDSM - parties and dresscode (6/13/2008 9:23:58 AM)

You could always ante up and START an event.



JohnWarren -> RE: Fetish / BDSM - parties and dresscode (6/13/2008 9:47:07 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BumpStick

quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren
Wear your CBR outfit.  The rubber fetishists will go nuts


CBR? now what are you refering too... The MOPP gear has been replaced with the JLIST, only Rubber is the ProMask, Gloves, and overboots



Sorry, I'm the original "ancient warrior."  CBR= chemical, biological and radiological.  It's back there with the Pentatomic Division.



JohnWarren -> RE: Fetish / BDSM - parties and dresscode (6/13/2008 9:48:42 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CrazyC
Now my wrap dress....that is hot...because it is easy on and easy off. :)


Any dress is easy off.  [evil grin] My knife is very very sharp.



BumpStick -> RE: Fetish / BDSM - parties and dresscode (6/13/2008 10:27:07 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarrenSorry,
I'm the original "ancient warrior."  CBR= chemical, biological and radiological.  It's back there with the Pentatomic Division.


LOL CBR is now called NBC=Nucular, Biological, and Chemical. Back with the what Division?

Ya know I could also do something with my welding leathers... Hmm could also raid the Hazmat yard for some protective equipment, most of that stuff is rubber. Now i'm thinking of what I can get that I have around me that no one I work with would think anthing of if they saw it in my room.



SireKane -> RE: Fetish / BDSM - parties and dresscode (6/13/2008 10:48:31 AM)

My slave and I are private bdsm club owners in the Southern California area. The great majority of our members are lifestlye oriented. My club does not have a dress code. Unfortunately there are some nights that I wish we did have a dress code, primarily for some of the men who attend.  In general, our women come dressed to thrill, they understand that they are part of the overall ambiance. On the other hand , a significant number of men , especially dominant men just don't give much thought or care to what they are going to wear to an event.  As  club owners we make an effort to create a sexy /erotic atmosphere, where people can play and mingle, and we appreciate it when those who attend our events do their part to contribute. There have been occassions where men where so poorly dressed that women at our parties have asked me to talk to them about their choice of attire.   We are starting to see more and more of the younger goth/fetish crowd becoming interested in the bdsm lifestyle.  In that culture appearance matters. They incorporate their attire with their bdsm. There are quite a few lifestylers who also enjoy dress code events. This month, on one of our off nights,  some of our younger members are hosting a  rsvp play party at our club, the event will have a fetish dress code. Next month we are hosting two bdsm cocktail/social events at a trendy night club. One of the events will have a dress code , one will not. Whether we like it or not we who attend bdsm events, especially social non-play events become somewhat ambassadors of our lifestyle. Often the first contact people have with our lifestyle comes from such events, first impressions are important. I'd suggest that when you plan to attend an event that you keep in mind that your appearance is part of  the attraction, your attitude contributes to the energy, and part of the reason people come to bdsm events is to see others  and  be seen by you. 



Madame4a -> RE: Fetish / BDSM - parties and dresscode (6/13/2008 11:01:09 AM)

well.. done...

I visited your club a long time ago .. and enjoyed every second of it... *grin*



ThundersCry -> RE: Fetish / BDSM - parties and dresscode (6/13/2008 11:06:33 AM)

Great post...
 
I have found out over the years...people may never remember a word a person says but...
 
They will remember ones....appearence for darn sure...they remember what they....see.
 
Being an....*example*...like you stated...
 
In reality there are only two types of examples...
 
Good...ones.
 
Bad...one.
 
There is no...inbetween.



azropedntied -> RE: Fetish / BDSM - parties and dresscode (6/13/2008 11:14:48 AM)

Relax , have fun with it , ENJOY the party and the chance to dress up .At least your thought of in high enough regard to get an invitation so said party . If all the attire issues are that big of a deal then stay home . Though i think the way your reacting to having to dress , disrespect's  the whole  invitation you got from your host .

quote:

ORIGINAL: HeidiAnn

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

My fetish is usually to dress nice in  way no one would think I am into BDSM. Like a Chiffon dress in a style the Audrey Hepburn would have worn to an event.


i would be into that too.:) But in here the dresscode is defined so that the clothing it includes is something Y/you would not wear to a regular bar or night out. *Yawn*

heidi



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