I think I am being stalked by a sub...Need some feedback (Full Version)

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MistressCyanide -> I think I am being stalked by a sub...Need some feedback (6/12/2008 5:57:50 AM)

Hi I have just as recently been speaking with a female sub. she told Me in many of or conversations that she would like to get know what sort of Domme I am and what I was looking for. So of course I told her. She kept wanting to know certain things that I have done to My subs (understandable) I told her a few but kept it vauge. I explained to her that My fav. part of BD/SM is the mystery. I also explained to her that the best way to get to know each other is just to meet up.  We had plans set and the day before we were to meet she wrote Me an e-mail and asked her what to expect. I told her that on a general meet and greet I don't usually meet as a Domme/slave but to give her a little I told her what she could expect and she didn't think I was hard core enough for her. I told her that was fine and just to cancel the plans.  She then in return wrote an e-mail that was rude stating that I was just a wanna be and a stupid bitch.  So I blocked her e-mails.
So I decided that I was still going out to the same place that we were going to meet with a few vanilla friends.  The next day I get an e-mail from a completely different profile name and she had commenced to tell Me that had seen Me there
with My 3 friend (had described them) so I knew she was there.  Is this insane or what?  She tells Me that she was there with her new Domme and described the things that her new Domme had in store for her and again called Me a stupid bitch wanna be. I understand her feelings of Me not being hard core enough for her...What I don't get is if she is happy with this new Domme 1. why it's a big deal for her to exclaim this to Me and 2. Why she finds it nessesary to (seemingly) stalk Me. I know I am hott but damn. Is it really that deep? I am fairly new to this site so maybe it's just Me any feedback?



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: I think I am being stalked by a sub...Need some feedback (6/12/2008 7:15:45 AM)

One email does not a stalker make.  Ignore and do not reply to anything this person sends, but keep it all for documentation in case this does escalate.



xxblushesxx -> RE: I think I am being stalked by a sub...Need some feedback (6/12/2008 7:16:35 AM)

"I know I am hott but damn." Nice to see that your ego is still intact.

Don't talk to her anymore; (although I suspect she is a he)

Don't talk about bdsm stuff until you either chat on the phone, cam (vanilla), or meet (for coffee) in person.

And don't let this person know where you are going to be or when.



chiaThePet -> RE: I think I am being stalked by a sub...Need some feedback (6/12/2008 7:24:49 AM)

Well, given your name, I would venture that it is "she"
whom should tread lightly here. Just sayin.

chia* (the "gasmask" pet)



mistoferin -> RE: I think I am being stalked by a sub...Need some feedback (6/12/2008 7:26:36 AM)

I think that you should just make it clear to her that if she shows up wherever you are she will be expected to pick up the tab for you and your friends. That should drive her away pretty quickly.



Dnomyar -> RE: I think I am being stalked by a sub...Need some feedback (6/12/2008 7:29:41 AM)

Im with blushes. She is probably a very inscure he. Why give him any more of your time?



MistressCyanide -> RE: I think I am being stalked by a sub...Need some feedback (6/12/2008 7:33:29 AM)

Thank you for your feedback all...I will definately put these suggestions into action!



Prinsexx -> RE: I think I am being stalked by a sub...Need some feedback (6/12/2008 7:35:59 AM)

It happens. It's hell. I had a guiy who repeatedly changed his user name on emails and would mail under an endless list of pretences.
His manipulation of almost every safe guard I put in place was very creative to say the least.
As it was someone I had had a relationship with, when a window was mysteriously broken and things moved in the house I realised who it was....as the guy had offered to have a new key cut for my house two years before when things were going well.
I traced a vanilla wife and a family who knew him by even more different names.
I was paranoid for about 6 months until making an complete and entire statement to the police.
I think the threat of a squad to his front door stopped him. But you know? He still showed up on my face book address list as having yet another name )from an original email account). Derrrr for brains.
Everytime I responded, even when it was to go to the police about him, it meant he was having a relationship with me in his head. He became increasingly deluded about the nature of control.
I expect he is doing the same to the next girl because I have heard noithing about himor from him for two and a half years (as far as I know.....on a bad day I can still have a flashback).
The police now have a great deal of info on him and if I suspect anything to be connected to him I always let them know. They are completely supportive. I suspect he has form which because of data protection they do not discuss with me. It's just an instinct I have.



DianeB -> RE: I think I am being stalked by a sub...Need some feedback (6/12/2008 7:37:19 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressCyanide

Hi I have just as recently been speaking with a female sub. she told Me in many of or conversations that she would like to get know what sort of Domme I am and what I was looking for. So of course I told her. She kept wanting to know certain things that I have done to My subs (understandable) I told her a few but kept it vauge. I explained to her that My fav. part of BD/SM is the mystery. I also explained to her that the best way to get to know each other is just to meet up.  We had plans set and the day before we were to meet she wrote Me an e-mail and asked her what to expect. I told her that on a general meet and greet I don't usually meet as a Domme/slave but to give her a little I told her what she could expect and she didn't think I was hard core enough for her. I told her that was fine and just to cancel the plans.  She then in return wrote an e-mail that was rude stating that I was just a wanna be and a stupid bitch.  So I blocked her e-mails.
So I decided that I was still going out to the same place that we were going to meet with a few vanilla friends.  The next day I get an e-mail from a completely different profile name and she had commenced to tell Me that had seen Me there
with My 3 friend (had described them) so I knew she was there.  Is this insane or what?  She tells Me that she was there with her new Domme and described the things that her new Domme had in store for her and again called Me a stupid bitch wanna be. I understand her feelings of Me not being hard core enough for her...What I don't get is if she is happy with this new Domme 1. why it's a big deal for her to exclaim this to Me and 2. Why she finds it nessesary to (seemingly) stalk Me. I know I am hott but damn. Is it really that deep? I am fairly new to this site so maybe it's just Me any feedback?


Sounds like a guy posing as a female.....I get the same crap all the time. I wouldn't even worry about it.


Diane



MissEnchanted -> RE: I think I am being stalked by a sub...Need some feedback (6/12/2008 7:41:32 AM)

Welcome to cm!

I agree that it is probably a man.

I have another suggestion:
Meet new subs at a place where you hang-out infrequently.

If the stalking gets bad enough: delete your screename. Get a new one and continue to enjoy the fun people here.

Works for me. [;)]



KyttynTheMynx -> RE: I think I am being stalked by a sub...Need some feedback (6/12/2008 7:47:49 AM)

I honestly feel like ya should treat future meetings like a blind date.  Most people wouldnt bring a blind date back to their home right?  Well treat your favorite haunts like a second home.  Its worked for me to keep creepy people from my hang out spots unless by coincidence that is...



Madame4a -> RE: I think I am being stalked by a sub...Need some feedback (6/12/2008 7:48:55 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx


(although I suspect she is a he)

.


This was my immediate reaction as well... the 'what to expect' always strikes me wrong and I've found when people ask that (almost immediately) they are looking for some long drawn out wank material and don't really plan to meet



MontrealPhoenix -> RE: I think I am being stalked by a sub...Need some feedback (6/12/2008 7:55:28 AM)

I suspect this "sub" doesn't have a new domme, but is trying to make you feel you missed out. I agree with the others, just ignore any messages you get from her or him or whatever but keep them just in case.
 
It most certainly isn't just you, there are a lot of nutjobs out there. The block button is your friend, use it and use it often.
 
phoenix



figment -> RE: I think I am being stalked by a sub...Need some feedback (6/12/2008 8:06:36 AM)

If you hadnt shown this person your picture, they would be none the wiser if you were there or not.  I dont show people my pics until after we have met.  That might seem a bit backwards, but at least I dont have creepy situations like this.

I would be slightly freaked after an experience like that.

f



sub4hire -> RE: I think I am being stalked by a sub...Need some feedback (6/12/2008 8:15:21 AM)

Child in a man or womans body it does not matter either way.  Clearly you angered the kid.
He/she didn't know how to handle it so they started calling you names.  Yet, at the same time
realized just what they may have messed up on so they are trying to stay in contact with you, even
though they have no idea how to mend things. 

You are part of their fantasy now.  Whether they ever decide to take it real time is another idea all together.
I'd ignore them as others have said.  They are probably harmless in the long run...beyond the fact if you are
out somewhere and they see you.  They could make some sort of a scene.




OmegaG -> RE: I think I am being stalked by a sub...Need some feedback (6/12/2008 9:06:28 AM)

If the person was there with her new Domme, I'd say that she moves way too fast and it might be something that you are grateful to be missing out on.

I'm not sure that one e-mail indicates that this person will continue to harrass you or if this person just wanted to tweak you by suggesting that you missed out, also a very unattractive trait.  As you said before, there are plenty of other subs.



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