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RE: But your only 4 years older than my daughter! - 6/9/2008 6:27:49 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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I have no interest in getting past them. If I was only interested in scening, then a younger man with more stamina might be attractive. But I was looking for a life partner and that meant someone in the same life stage as me; someone with family he wasn't finished raising, but wasn't just starting either. I needed someone who remembers where he was when JFK died, who remembers Neil Armstrong walking on the moon, someone who watched the Vietnam War unfold nightly uncensored on the news and how that affected the entire nation. A life partner, not a scene partner.

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RE: But your only 4 years older than my daughter! - 6/9/2008 7:13:20 PM

kallisto

Posts: 1185
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I can't get past them. Someone my age or older. But I've always been that way. I've never gone younger than me (even by a few years).

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Post #: 22

RE: But your only 4 years older than my daughter! - 6/9/2008 7:23:41 PM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
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i would have a hard time meeting someone who's 20yrs my junior because i would see that person as one of my younger brothers. on the flipside, i do like older men who are up to 10 yrs older than me. however i fit best with someone who's closer or around my age.

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RE: But your only 4 years older than my daughter! - 6/9/2008 7:40:09 PM

Evility

Posts: 915
Joined: 12/19/2007
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At one time whenever I was with a younger woman I would place myself back in 12th grade in my head and then calculate what grade she would have been in. Scary stuff.

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Post #: 24

RE: But your only 4 years older than my daughter! - 6/9/2008 8:27:44 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
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Don't have children and have a father that died over a decade ago. Works for me. ;-)

In the end, it's not something you HAVE to get over. You're allowed to set your limits in any area when it comes to attraction. But, in order to reprogram your brain in any thought pattern, you have to stop and deliberately think the opposite of whatever thought bothered you. At first, it'll be hard but after a while it'll get easier until finally you don't have the original thought any more, or at least only have it on the rare occasion.

Master Fire

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Post #: 25

RE: But your only 4 years older than my daughter! - 6/9/2008 8:28:58 PM

MasterFireMaam

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From: Charleston, WV
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Evility

At one time whenever I was with a younger woman I would place myself back in 12th grade in my head and then calculate what grade she would have been in. Scary stuff.

I used to tease my first husband, who was 12 years my senior, that I was SIX when he joined the Navy. *chuckle*

Master Fire

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Post #: 26

RE: But your only 4 years older than my daughter! - 6/9/2008 8:42:15 PM

MySweetSubmssive

Posts: 1139
Joined: 2/7/2006
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
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FR

Like others, there's no hafta get over it. My guess would be that even if you didn't have a teenager, an 18 year old would be a challenge -- unless they've had a very unusual life, they are just leaving childhood and wouldn't be a good match for you.

On the other side, there are times when it just works. I know a 30 year old man who married an 18 year old friend -- he was very young developmentally, she had pretty much raised herself and was much older than her years. I married a man who was 27 years older than me. I didn't even realize how old he was when I met him. There were odd moments with family -- I was older than some of his kids, both my parents were younger than him -- but we were a great, great fit for each other. It was weird how much of a non-issue age was for us. It was very much two adults in a relationship.

Mss

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RE: But your only 4 years older than my daughter! - 6/9/2008 8:46:17 PM

winterlight

Posts: 1319
Joined: 2/18/2006
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What happened to Domiguy and Mnottertail? I haven't seen them on these boards in awhile..

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Post #: 28

RE: But your only 4 years older than my daughter! - 6/9/2008 8:50:09 PM

fairerthanshe

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My understanding is that DG got a life time ban and mnottertail has developed a recent alter ego named NumberSix...

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RE: But your only 4 years older than my daughter! - 6/9/2008 9:08:38 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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As Master Fire Maam said, anyone can have whatever preferences they want. I think it's a bit unnecessary and rude to tell me you're rejecting me because I just happen to be at an age that squicks you- really just saying "The age difference doesn't work for me" is fine.

It's their baggage, I think it's stupid and silly and ridiculous- but they are welcome to keep it.

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Post #: 30

RE: But your only 4 years older than my daughter! - 6/9/2008 9:08:55 PM

Owner4SexSlave

Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
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I've been trying to wrap my mind around a few things regarding age, and various things in the lifestyle. At least for me on a personal level.

For me I find it more acceptable to engage in a relationship with a submissive that is younger. For awhile I actually had an age cut off limit of 24 in my mind. Basically thinking that this would mean they they at least had a few years being out in the world and with at least a little life experience under their skin.   My mind has become somewhat readjusted by my interaction with a couple of 21 years olds. Mind you one is in a relationship and the other one is a Switch. However, they are not as dumb and clueless as what one would assume.

With that said my age limit has become lowered and it really does not bother me very much.

However....

Here's where it gets a little strange for me regarding age. I find it a little difficult to wrap my mind around being with a 21 year girl for a Dom Power couple relationship. I actually was exploring in thought just what is my age cut off limit for this? Hell, if I honestly know.

I discovered I have a thing for Daddy/Daughter dynamics, mind you many of the elements to this are there to begin with. However I find a certain aspect that includes an Age dynamic for me. I find it difficult to have somebody my age or older calling me "Daddy".   Just sort of well, just twists my mind up inside a little at the thought of it all.

I find I myself tend to be supportive of "regressive age play" activities within reason as well. Hell, I myself just might take a break and act like a friggen teenager for the day for my own means of stress relief with the Adult world of things.   Matter of fact this dynamic of mutal "regressive age play" exisited in my one Dom couple relationship.   I suppose this might raise a few eye brows from a DOM to open admit to engaging in "regressive age play" from time to time.   But it can be a shit load of fun at times.

In general terms, I look and act about 10 years younger then I actually am perhaps a couple of year younger. I really don't keep this a secret.   If anything it catches people off guard that I am as old as I am. I'm a pretty youthful spirit and soul literally. For this very reason, I know that there "might be" a bit of lifestyle and interest conflict with people my age and older at times. However, It all depends upon personalities involved and such.

Anyways, I guess this can makes things a bit more complex yet interesting at the same time. So yeah, yeah, yeah! I might be a bit like Peter Pan at times. That boy that refuses to grow old. Still the fact remains I am growing older.   I want to make the best of things while I still can.

OK, so what if I'm literally old enough to be somebody's father. So what if somebody is literally young enough to be my daughter.   Say, why am I getting so caught up in wondering about these things. I should just accept what I'm open to without feeling like a cheap bastard for it.   I do have some sense of reasoning to my own personal madness.

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Post #: 31

RE: But your only 4 years older than my daughter! - 6/9/2008 10:01:54 PM

dawntreader

Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
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Like fairer, age is not an issue with me either when it comes to sex and experiences. 2 summers ago, every guy i dated was between 22 and 25. And i have been with Doms in their 60's. i really take each man individually and as i was not looking for a "forever" relationship, long-term compatibility was not even a consideration.

i have spoken before on this but for this thread i will reiterate...i was introduced to bdsm by a 23 year old Dominant when i was 43 and when we were together, i can assure you age was never any issue. And yes, it was incredibly hot

Ofcourse, i am not talking long-term here, just a beautiful experience on my path - one i am glad i did not miss~

If you read this Philosopher...thankyou

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Post #: 32

RE: But your only 4 years older than my daughter! - 6/9/2008 11:02:44 PM

Leatherist

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Joined: 12/11/2007
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I never had kids, no issues. Just be older than jailbait.

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RE: But your only 4 years older than my daughter! - 6/10/2008 12:42:26 AM

summersprite

Posts: 101
Joined: 4/3/2008
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I have children... several of the darlings.... my oldest is nearly 18.... his friends are a 'no go' EVER no matter what the situation. And believe me, a couple have tried....

Having always been attracted to much younger men, I've recently decided that men in their 40s.... my age group ;-) - can be rather attractive if they're active and intelligent....

;-)

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Post #: 34

RE: But your only 4 years older than my daughter! - 6/10/2008 3:21:58 AM

Maya2001

Posts: 1656
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
Status: offline

I too get contacted by 18 year olds and am a grandmother of 2 with one being half that age ... being I am looking for a LTR I have no qualms of having a age preference in the men I am interested in as I am interested in more than physical play ...I want someone I can relate to in other areas of my life

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RE: But your only 4 years older than my daughter! - 6/10/2008 3:46:00 AM

colouredin

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Joined: 2/2/2007
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Im 21 myself and I have issues with age, i have two sisters and a brother and for that reason have never been with a bloke of their age (i know what they are like) I prefer people to be 5-10 years older really.

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RE: But your only 4 years older than my daughter! - 6/10/2008 4:18:42 AM

Dnomyar

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Joined: 6/27/2005
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When I see older women with younger men Im reminded of bar flies. In my experience I know a lot of younger women married to much older men and the marriages seem to work out great. The women I know who have married much younger men have all ended in divorce. I think that speaks a lot on how much more mature women are than men. Until! Women get old and are so lonely that they put on short skirts and cowboy boots and go to a bar and hope that some drunk picks them up.

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Post #: 37

RE: But your only 4 years older than my daughter! - 6/10/2008 4:33:00 AM

pixidustpet

Posts: 857
Joined: 6/4/2008
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i'm 44, nearly 45. wolf and i are divorcing, i'm about 9 years older than he is. we just dont have *that* much in common...havent for years, and other things really made us grow in different directions. i wish him well, we just dont work as spouses any longer.

TheEngineer is 5 years older than i am. we have similar memories, and can TALK to one another, we're friends as well as all the other good stuff.

Daddy is 9 years older than i am. we get along spectacularly as well.

i used to play with a man 6 months older than my oldest (she's 25) and i couldnt talk to him. no common ground. miss satan's boyfriend is 2 years younger than i am. they're on pretty equal footing. (and cute to see together!)

age differences CAN work, but you have to work at it more, i think.

same kitten, new profile

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Post #: 38

RE: But your only 4 years older than my daughter! - 6/10/2008 7:04:42 AM

MusicalBoredom

Posts: 620
Joined: 5/8/2007
From: Louisiana/New York
Status: offline

I'm in a relationship with someone much younger. I've dated (and married) people my age. I don't think age is something to "get over" in terms of attraction. You are attracted to whoever you attracted to. As long as it's legal I don't think that's an issue. For me, attraction is mostly centered around a particular attitude and the interaction we have.

What I do have to "get over" at times is the publics reaction to me dating someone so much younger than me. When we go out some of the younger guys easily dismiss me as her "sugar daddy" and I get awful looks by a few women my age or older who seem to be a bit bitter. My family was also an issue but I'm used to being a bit of an oddball as far as they are concerned. I guess the issue part is if something stops me from being with who I want to be with not in defining who I want to be with.

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Post #: 39

RE: But your only 4 years older than my daughter! - 6/10/2008 7:19:20 AM

LATEXBABY64

Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
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what is with you people age is everything why would you want to re raise your ums or someone elses or re live past lessons of failed relationships how stupid is that
if your going to grow you need someone who has grown not someone who relearning what you have already went through thats a subs point of view
healthy means mental physical and emotional most people in the twenties are learning this lesson people in their 30s are becomming founded and people in their forties just do not give a fuck and people in the fities well wheres the next party lol

(in reply to MusicalBoredom)

Post #: 40

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