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BitaTruble -> RE: I have decided..... (6/10/2008 12:11:25 AM)
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Cleaning Tips for Men:
1) All your dirty dishes are in the sink, so throw your clothes into the dishwasher. That cleans them and dries them at the same time.
2) Drink a beer.
3) Never dust - just let people know you are doing Pre-Halloween decorating and you're going for an authentic haunted house motif. (Don't look up motif - you're a man, you don't need to know.)
4) Do a shot.
5) Drink a beer.
6) Push off all the crap that's on top of the bed onto the floor then push that under the bed. Make sure that you own a quilt that is one size larger than the bed so that it drags on the floor. That'll cover everything up.
7) Drink a beer.
8) Close the bathroom door.
9) Do a shot
10) Drink a beer
11) By now, all the clothes should be done in the dishwasher. Just leave them there. It's time to tackle the dishes. Since your garbage can is overflowing outside, dump it over the fence into the neighbors yard then haul the can into the middle of the kitchen.
12) Drink two beers.. you've been working hard.
13) Take all the dirty dishes which are piled into the sink and toss them into the garbage can.
14) Take a nap
15) Scratch something
16) Drink a beer.
17) Watch tv for at least two hours.
18) Call your mother and whine like a bitch that you have no dishes or silverware. She'll bring you over some new ones along with a jello mold.
19)Do a shot and drink a beer while you wait for her.
20) When mom gets there let her know about the great idea you had to wash your clothes. She'll cluck her tongue, shake her head then proceed to clean the whole rest of your house.
21) Do a shot, drink a beer, kiss your mom and pass out in your nice clean bedroom
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