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RE: Does long disance really work between a Master and ... - 6/6/2008 5:44:31 AM

LadyPact

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Madame4a hit on something very important there. When a person asks about a LDR, it can be important to know if it's a relationship that has always had a distance issue, or if it is a case of two people being separated by circumstances after they've spent signifigant time together in person. Another point to consider is the fact that, in cases such as a military deployment, the people generally know when they will be together permanently (well, as permanently as the military gets) again. It's not a case of the people might move closer together at some undetermined time.

Still, I don't want to discourage you. There are quite a few regular posters on the forums who are making all kinds of situations work. Good luck to you with yours.

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RE: Does long disance really work between a Master and ... - 6/6/2008 5:55:15 AM

Dnomyar

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For some people on here a 2 hour dirve it to long of a distance.

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RE: Does long disance really work between a Master and ... - 6/6/2008 6:10:15 AM

Owner4SexSlave

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yes, no, maybe, it all depends.

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RE: Does long disance really work between a Master and ... - 6/6/2008 6:23:57 AM

Lashra

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Only for awhile and then it becomes unfulfilling. My advice is to find someone local or at least much closer that you can see a couple times a month.

Good luck,
~Lashra

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RE: Does long disance really work between a Master and ... - 6/6/2008 7:23:47 AM

RedMagic1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra
My advice is to find someone local or at least much closer that you can see a couple times a month.

I'd like to emphasize this, and other posters brought it up too. I think economics is a major factor. M and I set it up so that we would see each other for five days straight, every few weeks. I don't have to work in an office, and could be literally anywhere as long as I produce stuff. She has control over which days she has to work. And we both decided we were going to sacrifice other things so we could have travel money, etc. It was a little like making a business plan.

In a "short-distance" relationship, you have to make the time to see each other. In long-distance, you have to make the time, and set aside the money. In my case, both she and I are glad we did that -- but it's a hard row to hoe.

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Post #: 25

RE: Does long disance really work between a Master and ... - 6/6/2008 7:31:14 AM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
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In all the LDRs I have been involved in, the success was dependant on how much effort each side put into communication and sharing the travel. If only one side travels all the time, forgets to call... it will fall apart. LDR is not easy, and it can cause resentment and the temptation to cheat becasue the other party "will never know".
Angel and I were an LDR for months before I moved out here, and we actually did better initially as distant than we did face to face. We got over that adjustment, eventually, but some pople need so much space that that mental bond online with occasional visits works out better than a face to face bond where someone shares your space.
It all depends on the people involved.

Also, since i didnt see it mentioned...
Are you refering to romantic D/s? Or is it strictly a Master and a slave without the romance tossed in there?

DV

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(in reply to RavenMuse)

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RE: Does long disance really work between a Master and ... - 6/6/2008 7:38:37 AM

SilentTigresss

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Really glad to see a positive note on this!

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RE: Does long disance really work between a Master and ... - 6/6/2008 7:43:08 AM

velvetears

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Sure it can be done and maybe even work with some sense of satisfaction, but the more important question would be why? i don't ask the question as a condemnation of people in LDR's, i want to know why people get into them. What's the draw? Wouldn't it be so much easier and more fulfilling to have better access to a partner? Are the majority of LDR's planned or more like ooops relationships? And again i don't mean people who have a real time relationship and then some circumstance happens and they have to seperate for some time (like the military). i mean those relationships that begin that way.

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RE: Does long disance really work between a Master and ... - 6/6/2008 7:46:18 AM

SilentTigresss

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"Connection".

(in reply to velvetears)

Post #: 29

RE: Does long disance really work between a Master and ... - 6/6/2008 7:48:10 AM

Madame4a

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From: Washington, DC area
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I often ask this question.. and while I realize some people live in areas with really small communities... I have always felt if you can find someone 3000 miles away, you are likely to find someone closer...

it does work for some though...

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RE: Does long disance really work between a Master and ... - 6/6/2008 8:09:40 AM

simplyfyre

Posts: 54
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fr~

I tried one for a year and a half and probaly the worst mistake i made was getting back my freedom cause he was the only man i ever met strong enough to master me.

However, live and learn and the answer to LDR is no ,not for any length of time but jumping into things isnt good either,lol
be well
Fyre

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Post #: 31

RE: Does long disance really work between a Master and ... - 6/6/2008 8:15:40 AM

Stusmobile

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quote:

ORIGINAL: velvetears

*snipped for brevity*

Sure it can be done and maybe even work with some sense of satisfaction, but the more important question would be why? i don't ask the question as a condemnation of people in LDR's, i want to know why people get into them. What's the draw? Wouldn't it be so much easier and more fulfilling to have better access to a partner?

Why? The same reason we all pick one person over another ... a certain something that can't be quantified, a feeling, a connection. Yes most people could walk down the road and find something similar but similar is not the same.

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(in reply to velvetears)

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RE: Does long disance really work between a Master and ... - 6/6/2008 8:53:32 AM

slaveluci

Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
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quote:

ORIGINAL: slavekitty4
i was wondering does it really work between a master and slave living so far apart

It worked for us UNTIL we could get together. It surprised us both when we found each other from so far apart. We knew we were right for each other and were committed to getting together as soon as it was possible. It had to remain an LDR for a little over a year. That's not what we wanted but circumstances (jobs, finances, etc.) dictated that it be so.

During that time, however, we talked for hours everyday by phone, saw each other via webcam very often, and frequently traveled to each other at least every 6-8 weeks or so for several days or even weeks. We were fortunate that we could do that. I had tons of paid vacation time saved up and He was able to use some as well. It would have been miserable to us both if we couldn't have had the personal interaction that we did.

We didn't set out to have a LDR but when we found each other and it HAD to be that way for awhile, we dealt with it. Neither of us wanted to remain LD for as long as it did. I finally got down here almost a year ago and we are both so thankful that we hung in there until it didn't have to be LD anymore

.

It CAN work. It HAS worked. Those who flat out say "no" and dismiss it obviously haven't found someone very far away who was worth waiting on. Some need instant gratification. Some can work toward something really worth having and have a little patience for the payoff.................luci

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Post #: 33

RE: Does long disance really work between a Master and ... - 6/6/2008 10:09:49 AM

SilentTigresss

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Thank you Luci for sharing your story......if I may.
For myself, I have had (yes, I said had) long distance relationships. I think what helped me in mine, however, is the fact that I work for an airline, making more possibilities for visits easier.

(in reply to slaveluci)

Post #: 34

RE: Does long disance really work between a Master and ... - 6/6/2008 10:36:40 AM

kyraofMists

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As others have said, it can work for some and not for others.

We were long distance for three years before I moved into the house. However, if there was no possibility of ever living together, then I would not have endured what we went through. It is extremely challenging and only knowing that it was just a matter of time before I could move in, is what got me through.

Knight's Kyra

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Post #: 35

RE: Does long disance really work between a Master and ... - 6/6/2008 10:47:45 AM

MasterZen22

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Joined: 11/16/2006
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Kitty,

I tried a LDR with my slave back when we were in college... did NOT work. As a general rule now I do not particiapte in a relationship that will be long distance for over 4 months, beyond that I think it gets very strained.

Of course I was much younger and less experienced in college, now I think if I tried again, using what I know, it might be more successful. But I don't think it'd be worth it.

Long distance relationships are usually very, very hard, especially for Master/slave. But they're not impossible.

-Zen

(in reply to slavekitty44)

Post #: 36

RE: Does long disance really work between a Master and ... - 6/6/2008 10:57:48 AM

YourhandMyAss

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Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
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It would not work for me personally, but it can and has and will be made to work by others. It just depends on the individuals involved and what their needs are I think.

(in reply to RavenMuse)

Post #: 37

RE: Does long disance really work between a Master and ... - 6/6/2008 11:13:21 AM

AMaster

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No.

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Post #: 38

RE: Does long disance really work between a Master and ... - 6/6/2008 11:15:25 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: velvetears

Sure it can be done and maybe even work with some sense of satisfaction, but the more important question would be why? i don't ask the question as a condemnation of people in LDR's, i want to know why people get into them. What's the draw? Wouldn't it be so much easier and more fulfilling to have better access to a partner? i mean those relationships that begin that way.

Hi velvet
Because of the compatability and the connection we had. It wasn't planned to meet someone miles away, but sometimes it just happens and we decided it was worth working towards.
I originally lived over 8 hours drive (on a good day!) away from Darcy - in the first year, we saw each other twice for a long weekend at a time. We spent time on the telephone, but it wasn't always practical for it to be hours. We worked together over the net - we shared even when apart. I agree that goals work and are a good idea - keep moving forward is important, at least it was to us. Knowing there was a final goal to be together was important also. But you really must want it and be prepared to work incredibly hard at securing the future you want.

the.dark.

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Post #: 39

RE: Does long disance really work between a Master and ... - 6/6/2008 11:33:18 AM

softness

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From: Leeds, UK
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It can and it does ... and we are doing it now .. but there are several important factors that make it work for us

1) Timeframe- that has always been the understanding between us - that I would move to Him, with an emphasis on sooner rather than later. If that focus was lost, so would our relationship. We are both heavily real time people - this is a life we want to live, not a role to play at the weekend or a couple of nights a month in a hotel. We both want a no shit, real life, 24/7, TPE Master slave relationship. That just simply can't happen 10,000 miles apart. We have a plan to make that happen, and our LD online relationship will only last as long as that line does.

2) Intimacy - we cannot be physically intimate on a day to day basis, so we have to be intimate in other ways. We speak, on the phone - usually twice a day, often more, we skype for over an hour before I got to work in the mornings, often more. At the weekend we have been known to clock up 8 hours nattering away to eachother in a day. We email and IM while we are working .,.. and I bombard Him with text messages. We give each other access 24/7 .. I am involved with all the crapola and joy of His life, just as He is with me. I see this constant opportunity for access as very intimate, I am able to hear His voice whenever I want to (though not advised to wake Him) and He can rant at me and idly crush my butterfly like spirit whenever the urge strikes Him

3) Space - Having the man I love on the other side of the world .. is crappy .. like seriously crappy. I go to bed alone, I sleep alone, I wake up alone, I eat alone and I watch TV alone. I am 24 years old, and I live like a nun. I explained it to a friend a few weeks ago - I have all the drawbacks of having a partner ... with none of the perks - - - I cant sleep around, I can't grow out my leg hair, and I cant wear granny pants when no one is looking, but then neither am i getting the sweaty jungle sex, the protective arm around my shoulders, or the warm body to sleep curled up with. As I said .. 24 ... pretty foxy .. and living like a nun. but this is the life I have chosen, I can leave anytime I like. Knowing this doesn't make it any easier. Sir gives me the space to feel that bittersweetness, He doesn't berate me for it, or let it make Him insecure worrying every second I will be drawn away by someone closer to me. Sir gives me the space to socialise both in and out of the scene ... He gives me the space to be 24. This is crucial. If I felt smothered and curtailed, if I felt I was giving over mroe than I was being returned, then things would end very quickly. I cannot speak for Sir, but I hope He feels I encourage Him to make use of the same space, and am content with Him doing so.

With all relationships, but especially for me with long distance, I force myself from time to time to look very coldly at the relationship I am in and ask myself this

Is the price I pay for being His, worth the value of having Him as an Owner? ... Is the sacrifice of having someone with me, of having regular sex and play, of my astronomical phone bill, of stupidly early mornings on skype, of endless endless time apart and just being plain lonely ... is that worth it?

Usually I answer yes, without even needing to think all that long, without doubt every sacrifice is worth being able to be His property. He is my Master, and I am His slave. He owns me, I am His property. it really is as simple and perfect as thatI would be lying though to say I always answer yes, some days it really isn't worth the price, and I think Sir would agree with that - mostly when He has to make His own coffee .. and the meatloaf doggedly refuses to cook itself. .

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Post #: 40

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