sirsholly
Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
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So...it is that time of year again. Amid the joyous cheer of the festive holiday celebration lies the dreaded....CHRISTMAS PROGRAM.
This year i am trying to work with 18 preschoolers. They are a joy on an individual basis, but put their little butts in a group and the fucking joy goes right out the window. I am terrorized by the little shits, but a stoic front must be presented or they will chew me up and spit me out, and my kid would be the head chomper.
Now...two years ago the LoudOne was a Shepherd. He looked so darn cute in his shepherding duds, but he was banned from that role when we saw just what havoc he could cause with a shepherds staff. He took out his fellow sheep herders, slammed the costumed donkey in the ass, and nearly beheaded the Virgin Mary.
The following year he was an angel. He looked so...angelic...until he upchucked grape Koolaid on his angel gown, then tried to clean it up with Baby Jesus's swaddling clothes.
This year...oh the thrill of getting to report that he has the lead in the play "The King of Kings." He is the King. The head dude. He is God. He is also the only one that fit into the costume, but that is beside the point. He is as proud of himself as he could possibly be, and only slightly less proud than is his mommy. That is..until the dress rehearsal this morning.
The play is sweet. It is the manger scene with Mary, Joseph, the wise men, shepherds, et al, and the closing is the entrance of the King of Kings (God, played by the LoudOne). The end of the play is God smiling down on the flocks, pleased that they are celebrating the birth of His son. God is to raise his pudgy little arms halfway, in a gesture of praise. That is what was SUPPOSED to happen. That is what SHOULD have happened. That is what WOULD have happened if the role was given to someone else's kid. But NOOOOooooooo....
The spotlight (a high powered flashlight that some poor dad is really going to miss during the next power failure) shines on the King of Kings, waiting for him to smile gently, raise his arms slightly, and look serene. That is what the script said.
My kid thought the script needed a rewrite.
The spotlight was focused on him, and the arms went up...and up...and up. Annnnnd the feet started to move. Get a mental image, if you will, of Rocky Balboa after racing up the stairs at the Philadelphia Museum of Art...hands over his head and jumping up and down in a victory dance. The LoudOne did add his own personal touch to the God/Rocky shuffle, and that was bellowing "GO ME!!" right before someone had the sense to turn off the spotlight. The little dude was so into his role that his golden crown slipped down over his eyes, causing temporary blindness which resulted in the other 17 pipsqueaks running for cover. They made it to safety right before the LoudOne tripped over a hay bale and landed dangerously close to the Star of Bethlehem.
His teacher, who is an awesome lady and as unflappable as they come, put her head down on the piano and...shook? I felt terrible that, after 30 years of teaching, the poor woman was reduced to tears by my offspring. But, as it turns out, she was laughing so hard she was on the verge of falling off of her chair.
There are two more dress rehearsals prior to the big event.
Send help.
Please.
_____________________________
PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN
GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)
CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)
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RE: The Holly and Potty Show - 
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That is just not right. 
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