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ORIGINAL: Padriag

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ORIGINAL: DominantJenny

Are there other lazy sadists out there, perfectly happy to NOT be up on the latest complicated techniques?

Me as well.  I'm more about the ends than the means.  I don't do public play, so there's no one for me to impress with how well I can crack a whip or swing a flogger or what have you.  I'm more interested in the effect what I am doing is having on the intended subject, and whether that effect is what I wanted or not.  I'll learn some specific technique, if and only if, it expands my ability to achieve those desired ends.  That's just me though, its how I work.

Now I read crack a whip or swing a finger..........it's very early, I need glasses but it was also perhaps wish-fulfilment. One of the laziest sadists I know does it emotionally without any effort whatsoever.
He also did flick a finger on the most sensitive part of me. It bought me to a standstill instantly. That was his intention and it was sublime.

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ORIGINAL: Stusmobile

You've consider yourself an artist with certain things, I consider myself an artist with a word. Neither is better nor worse than the other, at the end of the day they are techniques to achieve an end and we each have our own preferences in how we manage that.

Having a personal "style" is not lazier than anyone else, it's your choice, it's what works for you and the person you are with.  Some people enjoy the wielding of an instrument to edge a person closer and closer to their limits, some like to use pain to take them there yet others use their voice or a gesture. There is a time and a place for each, but not being "artistic" in one area doea not negate the intamacy of the whole.

I sat and wrote something in the middle of last week, spent a lot of time in my own head finding the words to achieve my aims. The result was a tightening of the bond between her and I, a closeness that with each new line moved the two of us into a shared space. The emotional high and subsequent come down are as real as having been in the same room for all of those hours it took to write. That is what fulfils me, fulfils her as well and I don't consider it lazy because it works for us, fits our mindsets and ultimately strengthens us.

I would love to be able to wield a crop or a cane, a flogger or a paddle with the skill some of you show and over time will find the ones that suit me, but they will still only be a smaller part of the whole. They will never replace the intrinsic need for words, gestures and thoughts that define me, who I am and how I behave.

If that equates to lazy, sign me up, I'll add it to all the other parts of being a Dom that I missed in the handbook

Problem is, all I want to do is watch.

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ORIGINAL: fungasm
You feel like a canvas, a work of art to be used.  Even if you are dominant, I highly recommend getting flogged by someone with these skills.  It's incredible.

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ORIGINAL: mistoferin

FR.....

I have to disagree that there is no difference between the two styles on the bottom end. The difference is night and day. One style is playing with you....the other is playing you like you're an instrument. I would take the Top who learns and practices the fancier techniques every time over the Top who just wants to whack away with no real rhyme or reason. The energy emitted by a Top who is really getting into the rhythm and motion of a scene is palpable even when blindfolded. It's not about putting on a show in public, although I am sure that is why some choose to learn the fancier stuff (and to be really honest, I suspect that for some of them it's the ONLY time they play). I do play in public but 99% of my play is behind closed doors with just my Sir and I...and I LOVE that he puts just as much energy, style and intricacy into our private play as he does our public play. Actually, our private play tends to be much more intricate than what we do in public. It also sounds like most people are saying that submissives are unaware of the visual effect of a dominant's play style, presumably because it is going on behind their back? I'm not sure how others do it but Sir also likes to play with my front and when he does that visual only adds to the excitement of the scene. It's like poetry or a dance that ebbs, flows and builds into a crescendo. If I'm going to dance I want to dance with someone who can fluidly glide and twirl me around the room....not someone who has no rhythm and is going to constantly step on my toes. Watching it and feeling it play out upon your flesh is for me, hypnotic and intoxicating. Not to mention that watching a dominant practicing techniques is just fricking HOT!

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ORIGINAL: epiphany

There are times when I am just going for a certain effect, and I guess take the shortest route.

On the other hand....my canes! They are my babies. I have a round 30 of them in different finishings and lengths as well as weights / thickness. I have a love affair with them.

  When I am really into topping with them, I get a special headspace of my own, and it's absolutely a creative headspace. I cane equally well with both hands and have several matched sets for that purpose. I can create a variety of feelings and patterns with so many differnt feelings.

  Someone said something about not needing to impress someone...it's not about that for me, it's about the love of the art of it, getting caught up in it. People are often surprised that caning can be done without pain and be very erotic, it vcan even feel like therapy...naturally, it can be done with pain and be very erotic too!

It is my favorite tool to top with or bottom too.

epiphany

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ORIGINAL: DominantJenny
And I have zero desire to lull or hypnotize my partner...I want them alert and kicking and screaming, preferably. While I have my moments, I'm not generally a sensualist. I'm a dominant and a sadist.

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Although I'm not in the least bit interested in not causing pain. :P   

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ORIGINAL: mistoferin

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ORIGINAL: DominantJenny
And I have zero desire to lull or hypnotize my partner...I want them alert and kicking and screaming, preferably. While I have my moments, I'm not generally a sensualist. I'm a dominant and a sadist.

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Although I'm not in the least bit interested in not causing pain. :P   

Well it sounds as though you lean much more heavily toward the pain end....and that's fine. My Sir is in heaven when he is splittling my skin open with some implement. He is a dominant and a sadist too. To be honest, he is probably the most sadistic partner I have ever had....when it's his desire to be so. He is also the most sensual partner I've ever had....when that is his desire to be so. He can seemingly have a heart of ice as I beg, cry, scream and plead....and he can wrap me in his arms like he never wants to let go too. He knows what my needs are and he knows that as much as I love pain and get off on it....I need that to be balanced with sensuality, love and care. He knows that while I might be a serious masochist, it is not the entirety of who I am. He knows that I wouldn't stay 5 minutes in a relationship with a dominant who only wanted to get their sadistic fixes while ignoring my other needs. (not saying that is what you do) In my opinion, when it's all about one it can't be a partnership. Those kinds of scenes have their purpose and can be exactly what both parties want in the moment....and there may be some people out there who only want someone to constantly hurt them and never show a tender side or a sensual side. That's cool as long as they are getting fulfilled. I, however, would not be fulfilled with such an arrangement. Maybe in a play partner...but not in a life partner.

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ORIGINAL: mistoferin

http://youtube.com/watch?v=JXGkWHzZJBs