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ORIGINAL: mistoferin

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ORIGINAL: DominantJenny

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ORIGINAL: mistoferin
*snip* there are some things that I don't want to understand.
*snip* Doesn't mean I have to relate to it or understand it.

Now all of that hinges on that "C' word. If you are doing something that crosses THAT boundary, if someone has not consented or is incapable of consenting....well then I can be pretty doggone intolerant.

I have never understood the notion that just because we actively participate in this lifestyle that we are somehow bound to be tolerant and understanding of everything that happens here.

Why don't you want to understand them? I don't understand that at all.
I am not saying anyone HAS to relate to or understand anything. I AM saying that I find it heartening when they choose to do so and disappointing when they don't. Not that my opinion matters to anyone who doesn't know me.
Agreed; lack of consent is a fundamental human violation and never acceptable.
As I said in my initial post, I expect more tolerance from people who have been victims of intolerance themselves, because logic suggests they therefore have a certain level of empathy...knowing how something was hurtful or harmful to yourself should, logically, enable you to understand that doing it to others is hurtful and/or harmful to them. That's all.

As an example, there are people who like to play with, roll around in and cover themselves with, lick and eat feces. There is absolutely nothing about that that I have any desire to understand. To be honest, the thought of it is absolutely respulsive to me. Do I tolerate it? Sure....but I have no desire to see it, hear about it....but as long as I don't have to participate in any way.....go for it, more power to ya.

There are also a whole bunch of people who stand under this BDSM or lifestyle umbrella, a lifestyle that I just happen to care a lot about, who have no business being here. They come here because they are women or man hating abusers and this field is ripe for the picking of willing or unsuspecting victims. There is nothing about that scenario that I have to or will tolerate. Everyone yaks about how you have to be tolerant and I'm sorry but, oh hell no I don't. Wrong is wrong and I don't care what fancy package you wrap it in.

A year or so ago there was a "dominant" in our local community. He was down on his luck and I let him stay at my home for a short time. He would bring me little trinkets and gifts. At first I accepted them graciously but told him that it made me very uncomfortable. He didn't listen and I had to tell him that I would not accept them. Then I started to hear some rumors....about this "relationship" that he was in with me and how I was the love of his life. Um....we had NO relationship. When I confronted him about it he sheepishly admitted that he had been telling people that. I told him he would have to leave. A few months later I started getting phone calls from submissives. A LOT of submissives...asking me if I knew where he was. Apparently he was engaged...yes...ENGAGED....to about 5 of them. Yes, he was a smooooooooth talking man. All brand new in the lifestyle. They weren't hard targets. As they cried and poured out their stories to me some things started coming to light and some puzzle pieces started to fit. Turns out that the man was actually married....not divorced for 5 years like everyone thought. He showered them all with gifts and trinkets.....which he stole from the homes of the other girls, including me. Heirloom jewelry, crystal, diamond rings....nothing was off limits to him. Well as it turns out I did know how to contact him...so I did....and asked him to go to dinner with me. Little did he know that all of the girls would be there too. If you could have seen the look on his face! He was trapped. So the girls all sat down and swapped the jewelry off their necks with the girls who had the ones they originally owned. I told him that his days of using this community to find his victims was over....and I would see to it. He devastated those girls. He's damn lucky I didn't have him arrested on the spot.

So tolerance? Pffffffftttttt!

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As I always say and totally believe.  There is NO vanilla.  There is levels of kink.  People use the term vanilla to make a them and us - to feel as though they belong to something special or do something

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ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

As I always say and totally believe.  There is NO vanilla.  There is levels of kink. 

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ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark
... There is NO vanilla.  There is levels of kink.  
...
Tolerant people in BDSM ?  Absolutely not the case. 
...
the.dark.

As to the op question of "shouldn't we be trying to understand and relate on some level?" I can't say I feel an obligation to understand other people or relate to them. I'll want to understand or relate to some people (I'd love to relate to dark for example, but that's just because I'm shallow and she's sexy and I know there's a chance Darcy's not reading this ). But I don't feel a need to relate to StupidRanter when he or she posts something I don't understand; I'll just move on with my life.