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How bad do you want it? - 5/20/2008 4:36:45 AM

MladyHathor

Posts: 510
Joined: 4/6/2008
Status: offline

Note: I did not use the word "need"---

-----------to achieve your D/s relationship:

How far are you willing to go?

How long are you willing to search?

How much are you willing to sacrifice?

_____________________________

The Mistress Hathor, always and forever, much to the disdain and discomfort of others.

Post #: 1

RE: How bad do you want it? - 5/20/2008 4:48:01 AM

NorthernGent

Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MladyHathor

Note: I did not use the word "need"---

-----------to achieve your D/s relationship:

How far are you willing to go?

Barriers are few and far between with me. I'm flexible with work, have no children, and I'm open to ideas - all by design. So, it's there for the taking, rather than restricted by obstacles.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MladyHathor

How long are you willing to search?

It's a long, old life, and I have enough going on in my life to allow for a considered decision, rather than rush into a situation.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MladyHathor

How much are you willing to sacrifice?

A lot.

Whether or not this extends to my home, remains to be seen - she'd have to be out of this world - even then, I'd do everything I possibly could to bring her here, rather than go to her.

_____________________________

I have the courage to be a coward - but not beyond my limits.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

(in reply to MladyHathor)

Post #: 2

RE: How bad do you want it? - 5/20/2008 4:53:32 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

I have no barriers as far as willing to go. I will search untill I find whom Im looking for. Sacrifice is not the word I would use. I would compromise to a point where I would not have to change who I am.

(in reply to NorthernGent)

Post #: 3

RE: How bad do you want it? - 5/20/2008 4:54:55 AM

pinkwind

Posts: 367
Joined: 1/9/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MladyHathor

Note: I did not use the word "need"---

-----------to achieve your D/s relationship:

How far are you willing to go?

How long are you willing to search?

How much are you willing to sacrifice?

As far as was necessary. How far meant moving out of the home i had lived in for 28 years, distance was never an issue; how long meant until i found who and what made me whole, seemed like a lifetime although it wasn't in reality; and as for sacrifice, contact with my grown children, a 30+ year marriage that was apathy personified, family, friends and neighbours, familiar surroundings and eventually, because of distance travelling and working on top of disability, my job and ability to ever work again.

Was that enough, do you think?

Sorry for all the edits.

< Message edited by pinkwind -- 5/20/2008 4:58:43 AM >

(in reply to MladyHathor)

Post #: 4

RE: How bad do you want it? - 5/20/2008 6:45:48 AM

Madame4a

Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MladyHathor

Note: I did not use the word "need"---

-----------to achieve your D/s relationship:

How far are you willing to go?

How long are you willing to search?

How much are you willing to sacrifice?

The answer to the first and last question is the same -- I will compromise as all relationships are compromise, until I get close to compromising myself.. I won't do that...

how long? well... there isn't an end really.. I don't believe that any one person, no matter who they are, is destined for another for life.. if you achieve that, GREAT.. me, I'm too much of a skeptic to expect it...

yes, when I have what I feel is as close to fulfilling my need as I"m going to get.. the 'search' as such stops.. but.. I guess.. I don't 'search' too actively, so there isn't much to stop... I just consider myself open to possibilities...

_____________________________

You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

(in reply to MladyHathor)

Post #: 5

RE: How bad do you want it? - 5/20/2008 7:37:23 AM

subtee

Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MladyHathor

Note: I did not use the word "need"---

-----------to achieve your D/s relationship:

How far are you willing to go?

How long are you willing to search?

How much are you willing to sacrifice?

Ha ha! It's not too much of a mystery why I am alone. The only pertient question for me from the above is the last; I'll not be moving, I'm not "searching" per se. What I am willing to sacrifice will be shaped and informed by the realization of the relationship, which is, admittedly, not likely to happen.

_____________________________

Don't believe everything you think...

(in reply to MladyHathor)

Post #: 6

RE: How bad do you want it? - 5/20/2008 7:40:28 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

Sacrifice? Nothing. I will sacrifice for my parents, no one else. All relationships are compromise, so I will give in on some things, as long as I can have my needs met somewhere without damaging the relationship.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to subtee)

Post #: 7

RE: How bad do you want it? - 5/20/2008 7:41:41 AM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

For me, I was willing to move the first time becasue I hated where I was. I searched not for aD/s relationship persay but for a match... and for that I was willing to search as long as it took. I didnt have to sacrifice much of anything, since I wanted out of where I was it was a step up for me, not back.

For the second time, I didnt search at all, I happened upon what I wanted without knowing I had found it. No sacrifices nd no downsides. I didnt have to go anywhere, since I wouldnt have given up what I already had.

And for me, its perfect. My 2 are all I want, and neither of them required sacrifices.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to subtee)

Post #: 8

RE: How bad do you want it? - 5/20/2008 8:00:40 AM

frazzle121

Posts: 116
Joined: 3/28/2007
Status: offline

To the OP.

I moved.
I accepted the fact that His 2 year old son is here weekends.
His adult son is about to move back home, for however long, next weekend.

I'd been looking for a long time. He ticked all the right boxes, minus the offspring.

We talked, a lot.
I'm still here with no plans to move.

Any adult relationship takes compromise and communication. Thinking it's all going to be perfect,all the time is fantasy.

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Post #: 9

RE: How bad do you want it? - 5/20/2008 8:21:15 AM

DominantJenny

Posts: 645
Joined: 4/6/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MladyHathor

Note: I did not use the word "need"---

-----------to achieve your D/s relationship:

How far are you willing to go?

How long are you willing to search?

How much are you willing to sacrifice?

I married a vanilla guy. I endured a lot in terms of patience and restraint while we worked to bring him into submission and masochism.
I'm not interested in that level of frustration again if I can at all avoid it.
I'm not looking for another full-time relationship, and I'll be okay if I never find what I'm looking for now.
So I'm willing to wait quite a long time, I'm willing to make some compromises (mostly in terms of shared/unshared likes/dislikes), but not a huge amount, and I'm willing to sacrifice only my own time, not my spouse's or my child's. So, not a lot of sacrifice in me these days. If I was single, very different story. Of course, I'm looking for someone ideally in a very similar place as myself...I don't want to ask more sacrifice than I'm willing to give.

(in reply to MladyHathor)

Post #: 10

RE: How bad do you want it? - 5/20/2008 8:32:25 AM

Constrictor1

Posts: 143
Joined: 6/29/2006
From: Constrictor1
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MladyHathor

Note: I did not use the word "need"---

-----------to achieve your D/s relationship:

How far are you willing to go?

How long are you willing to search?

How much are you willing to sacrifice?

To find the right person I am willing to go far.
I am willing to look for as long as it takes.
Absolutely nothing. I do expect to help financially if someone needs help getting to me. I do not consider that a sacrifice.
I am fortunate that I already have an extraordinary and wonderful slave. I am self employed and reasonably secure. I own my own business and home. I travel often, for business and for pleasure. For these reasons I am picky and willing to take a good deal of time to find a quality second.

Constrictor1

(in reply to MladyHathor)

Post #: 11

RE: How bad do you want it? - 5/20/2008 10:33:24 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

I wasn't willing to move because stability is of utmost importance to my oldest, who has an emotional disorder.
He moved here. His youngest is moving in with us this summer to finish school up here. His other kids come by from time to time.

The only thing nonnegotiable is his daughter's cat. She has to stay with their mother as my allergies to cats are extremely severe. Truthfully, he doesn't want the cat full time either. He pets her when he sees her and now that he's not living with a cat, he realizes how worse his allergies were with one also.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to Constrictor1)

Post #: 12

RE: How bad do you want it? - 5/20/2008 11:29:42 AM

slavegirljoy

Posts: 1207
Joined: 11/6/2006
From: North Carolina, USA
Status: offline

It's a shock to many people to learn just how far i have gone, not in search of a D/s relationship but, in search of a "home", a place to belong. i have literally gone around the world, driving from MD to Newark airport and flying out at 8 AM on Feb. 11, 2001, arriving in Brisbane, AU, then driving to a dirty, little town on the edge of the Outback, called Roma then, 6 months later, back to Brisbane, out of Sydney, into LA and onto Atlanta, because it didn't work out for me in Roma. i was to continue searching for my 'true' home for another 4 years, when someone told me about CM and, my Master and i found each other here.

How long is too long to search for what you want? i have been searching for my home all of my life, really. Even as a 1st grader, i was often scolded by my teacher for looking out the window, daydreaming. And, what i was usually daydreaming about was being either lost by my family and found by a loving family or being kidnapped by a loving family, who would give me a good home.

What i have sacrificed, in my search is much. Too much, too personal and, too painful to list here. But, how much is too much to pay for your happiness? Isn't happiness priceless?

Bonus questions i added:

Has it been worth it? Now that i have found my true home, my rightful place in this world, with my very wonderful Master, the answer is YES.

Would i do it all again, the same way, if that was the only way to find myself where i am now? Most definitely, YES! The road to happiness is not always smooth or straight and often requires a high toll to paid along the way.

Through all of my searching, i learned a lot about myself and, that helped me to focus my search on what i really needed to be happy, instead of grasping at straws. Some people are luckier than i was. They happen to be in "the right place" at "the right time" and "the right person" happens to be there and, they both happen to be available and they both happen to be looking for the same thing. i wasn't that lucky. But, now that i am "home" with my Master, i feel like one of the luckiest people alive.

joy
Owned servant of Master David

(in reply to MladyHathor)

Post #: 13

RE: How bad do you want it? - 5/20/2008 12:16:58 PM

softness

Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline

Note: I did not use the word "need"---

-----------to achieve your D/s relationship:

How far are you willing to go?
something in the region of 9000 miles .... it will take 24 hours and 40 something minutes between me leaving my house in the UK and getting to his home in the US ...so that is a fair distance by anyone's standards

How long are you willing to search?
I actually wasn't looking when He picked me up in a chat room. I was minding my own business upsetting morons. In all seriousness, I was vaguely looking for soemthing along the lines of Ds. But it is safe to say that since first walking into a Sex club at age 17 and today ... I have never met anyone who could match what He can offer me. So I don't have to search much further .. unless he needs replacing .. and then lord only knows how long it would take .. I would prolly give up and become a nun.

How much are you willing to sacrifice?
*sighs*
Difficult question. To be with Him - I would have to give up my home, my career focussed life, the type of school I love to teach in, my friends, my family, my freedom, my pyjamas, all of my posessions that don't fit in a suitcase, England, wearing flat shoes, living the lifestyle of a 24 year old single girl with no responsibilities in life beyond ensuring there is enough iced vodka to make it through the weekend. ...

Now ... when it comes down to it ... I still haven't decided whether all that sacrifice is worth it ... but very *very* soon ... it's time to make that decision .. am really wishing i could pay someone to make it for me

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio

(in reply to MladyHathor)

Post #: 14

RE: How bad do you want it? - 5/20/2008 2:35:46 PM

Justme696

Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline

I did gave all...but the one I gave it to didn't respect what I gave and mistreated the situation.
Now I am gladly with a person who does...but I admit..It is scary to give all again.

_____________________________

~Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

(in reply to softness)

Post #: 15

RE: How bad do you want it? - 5/20/2008 3:07:04 PM

tinkerbelle3

Posts: 55
Joined: 1/25/2008
Status: offline

I moved 3,005 miles to be with the love of my life. I was one of those people who was not really looking on-line for a 'match' or 'HIM' my expectations were very low : ) Just a few months after talking on line and on the phone he asked me here to visit, six months later I moved here for good. That was a year ago.

Knowing that he was at the end of my searching and sacrifice; To answer your question - I'd search as long as it took and the sacrifice, well I did give up my house, my friends, my job, my family but what I got in exchange is well worth it. I don't consider it sacrifice at all.

- tinkerbelle3

(in reply to Justme696)

Post #: 16

RE: How bad do you want it? - 5/20/2008 3:13:37 PM

LivLifeByMyRules

Posts: 6
Joined: 11/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MladyHathor

Note: I did not use the word "need"---

-----------to achieve your D/s relationship:

How far are you willing to go?

How long are you willing to search?

How much are you willing to sacrifice?

Just a perception to offer. There are forces at work in this Universe that work with us to create exactly what we desire. And the Universe, in my opinion, conspires with us to make it happen effortlessly. We are the ones who usually end up complicating things. As an example, we come up with the idea of what the "perfect mate" would be, and the Universe begins to put things into place to bring that person into our lives. Then just as quickly as we made the choice of who we want... we decide that we're not worthy of that in our lives. So... the Universe goes... "Ah... Ok... let me know when you make up your mind".

So my answer to the 3 questions are...

How far I am willing to go has nothing to do with being a geographical question, but more of an internal one. I can only attract the person I desire into my life, by being the type of person I desire to be.

How long am I willing to search? However long it takes for my desire and the Universe to align.

How much am I willing to sacrifice? Again a question that has multiple meanings. I don't believe that a person has to "sacrifice" anything. I have faith that the person I desire, will become a part of my life.

(in reply to MladyHathor)

Post #: 17

RE: How bad do you want it? - 5/20/2008 3:29:26 PM

camille65

Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LivLifeByMyRules
How far I am willing to go has nothing to do with being a geographical question, but more of an internal one. I can only attract the person I desire into my life, by being the type of person I desire to be.

I'm so glad you said that. I didn't answer because that was how I understood the question as well. Not as something tangible like distance but striving inside to get to the person I'm wanting to be with. No one else seemed to see it that way so I stayed quiet lol. How long? Until I'm there. Sacrifice?I don't think sacrifice is the right word for me. Compromise works. Change works too. So does grow.

_____________________________

~Love your life! (It is the only one you'll get).

(in reply to LivLifeByMyRules)

Post #: 18

RE: How bad do you want it? - 5/20/2008 4:26:26 PM

Maya2001

Posts: 1656
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
Status: offline

How far are you willing to go?
I have 18 years in toward my pension and retirement , with maybe 10 more to go at a job that is non transfer , I want to ensure I have a sustainable income now and in the future of my own ... as a result relocating would have to remain within a sensible driving distance for winter driving. If my search goes beyond my retirement date then there is no limit
How long are you willing to search?
I am not in a rush , rather take my time and search for a good match over a match , if it take 10 or more years ..so be it ... being with the wrong person can seem like an eternity in hell ...been there done that

How much are you willing to sacrifice? certain things in my life are non negotiable like time to spend with my grandchildren, parents and son, and I got my dogs as pet that I meant to keep for their lifetimes.
I am willing to give up adding future pets I am willing to sell off my home move in with him or possibly keep it as a rental property and given up my home based business certain areas of independance and decision making ..specifying exactly what areas would be tough without a person in mind and knowing their strengths and weaknesses for example if they have proven history of good financial handle I would allow control of mine if not ..then no

_____________________________

Lead me not into temptation - I can find the way myself

(in reply to camille65)

Post #: 19

RE: How bad do you want it? - 5/20/2008 5:38:55 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MladyHathor
How far are you willing to go?

This is physical distance? When I found that I had nothing tying mt to a place anymore, I moved 2100 to be closer to my girl and the center of my spiritual family.

quote:

How long are you willing to search?

Since I'm not hung up by a search for "the one", I'll always be searching for those who are supposed to be a part of my household.

quote:

How much are you willing to sacrifice?

It's easier to say what I won't...I won't sacrifice myself, my beliefs, my integrity and my sense of self worth. I won't sacrifice these for anything or anyone.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to MladyHathor)

Post #: 20

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