DominantJenny
Posts: 645
Joined: 4/6/2008 Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Padriag quote:
ORIGINAL: DominantJenny *nod* But what about when the differences aren't so clear cut? I might say I'm very into giving pain ('cause I am, actually), and she might say she's a painslut, but it turns out when we scene that her definition and mine were off by a dramatic degree... Yes... but in saying that, you haven't really said anything concrete. That's why you need to discuss specific activities, specific examples. I can tell someone that I'm somewhat sadistic... sometimes... which is true... but what does that mean? Odds are you don't know and neither does anyone else reading this who doesn't know me personally. But, if I say that I like to give bare bottom spankings with my hand several times a week and that maybe about once a week I like doing something more intense such as using a crop on her pussy until she is crying.... that's much more specific, that people can relate to well enough to say "I'd probably be into that" or "I don't think I'd like that". But note the difference, I moved from using largely subjective terms to using more concrete example... specifics. Your second (the successful example) was far less concrete than your first (not so successful) one, which is why I used the one I did. I agree that specificity helps, however, I can say I like to spank. (In fact, having some OCD tendencies, I usually count in my head how many times I hit, even, so, say, anywhere from 40 or so to over 100 individual swats.) I don't hold back when I hit, but I'm not physically that strong...by my own definition. I can haul my 40 pound child around when I have to, but I avoid it; I don't regularly lift weights (anymore), so I can't give a nice, semi-objective assessment of my strength. You are right in that, with enough discussion, one is fairly likely to be able to avoid a drastic variation in levels, but it's still a very hard to quantify thing, far too much subjectivity involved even when we try to be concrete.
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