RE: How to introduce someone...slowly.....???

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: How to introduce someone...slowly.....???

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: How to introduce someone...slowly.....???

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: How to introduce someone...slowly.....??? - 5/19/2008 2:08:41 AM

MaamJay

Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline

I focused more on the psychology and values aspect of it when broaching the subject with vanillas. The power exchange, how things were open and negotiated, the trust, the mutual respect, the self-discovery and growth ... and that there was more to it than "whips and chains" although they could be a part of it too.

Frankly, I wouldn't go with the Secretary because I don't think it paints bdsmers in a good light, they were 2 very disturbed people. A self-mutilator and a very strange guy ... not the best advertisement in My book. I think it's way more important to demonstrate that lots of "normal everyday people"are engaged in this and some go as far as to embrace it as a lifestyle. Open up the discussion ... perhaps using something that pops up on the TV (it seems to do so regularly here) ... and then say you are more than willing to answer questions.

Good luck OP!
Maam Jay aka violet[A]

_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to mzbehavin)

Profile

Post #: 21

RE: How to introduce someone...slowly.....??? - 5/19/2008 2:36:52 AM

Owner4SexSlave

Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline

Are you more interested in seeing if she has interest in it first? If so, having her understand.   Or are you wanting to know about D/s regardless so she can relate to you?

I've gotten into the topic of D/s and BDSM, because a girl expressed how she had the whole femists view point, that she in fact hated it. Ended up having a 4 hour conversation, and I was totally open with her about BDSM.

There have been times, when I've made kinky jokes. I tend to see how people react to the jokes at times. Hell, have had a few good conversations start up in some places with complete strangers.   However, kink talk is centered around D/s.

Hell, you could simply start talking with her about the different kinds of relationships that your vanilla friends have.   D/s is or not there if you look hard enough.   Many guys refering to their Girlfriends as "The Boss", you could simply start with light hearted conversation about that. She what she has to honestly say or express about that one. It may or may not suprise you what her reaction or point of view is on the matter.

If you don't want to come off all sexist sounding about D/s, talk about from the angle of a women being in charge. Switch it around to a Man being in charge. D/s is a tricky topic because of the Sexist based conditioning behind it at times.

Make it clear that it's not a sexist thing, not unless that's how you honestly view things. Meaning the Man should always be in charge. D/s is anything but sexist in my book. Then again, my book is written by it's own Twisted Auther.

(in reply to dominancedefined)

Profile

Post #: 22