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Soms are like buses - 5/17/2008 12:27:28 AM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

OK; here's catching up. I am being courted here on collarme. So far one Dominant has out performed all the others. poetry mailed alomst every single day. Reams of email correspondence between us. It's beautiful................
AND ex master called me this morning. I couldn't take the call because I have a houseful of students staying over and was up and cooking breakfast. Anyway ex master rarely did call me unless it was for telephone sex.. He text to say he needed a friend and it was obvious i want to keep us in the master/slave mode....
There have been weeks without intensity and now TWO (actually more) men are being intense with me. (No bus comes for ages and I am left all alone at the bus stop waiting....et voila! two buses arrive at the same time). Each man is entirely different. One eloquent and operating almost entirely from his heart and focuses on The One. Ex master is poly, and an emotional sadist. This is NOT a question about what I should do.....
Questions:
1. Have iou ever been wothout a bdsm relationship and then been in the position of having to choose?
2. Have you ever wondered why, when you really like someone they back-off leaving you with the one you wouldn't necessarily have chosen? (I am sub so I get to choose anyway......)
3. Is it possible to serve more than one master (this is not gender biased question so applies to subbie men serving Dommes as well).
4 What is it about being courted does that makes one more attractive to a second or third person.....
5. What has your choice been based on or
6 Are you poly so this males the difference.
OK it's impossoble to ride more than one bus at the same time I know.
Thank you all for helping me out here........

_____________________________

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Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
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Post #: 1

RE: Soms are like buses - 5/17/2008 3:04:06 AM

eyesopened

Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

1. Have iou ever been wothout a bdsm relationship and then been in the position of having to choose?

Yes

2. Have you ever wondered why, when you really like someone they back-off leaving you with the one you wouldn't necessarily have chosen? (I am sub so I get to choose anyway......)

No, i can't think of when this has happened to me.

3. Is it possible to serve more than one master (this is not gender biased question so applies to subbie men serving Dommes as well).

Yes. Why wouldn't it be possible?

4 What is it about being courted does that makes one more attractive to a second or third person.....

Happiness begets happiness. People are more attractive when they are happy.

5. What has your choice been based on or
6 Are you poly so this males the difference.
OK it's impossoble to ride more than one bus at the same time I know.

Well it's not possible to ride more than one bus at the same time but if one bus doesn't go all the way to your destination then you just have to get a transfer and take another bus.

Thank you all for helping me out here........

< Message edited by eyesopened -- 5/17/2008 3:06:05 AM >

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(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 2

RE: Soms are like buses - 5/17/2008 3:29:24 AM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: eyesopened

Well it's not possible to ride more than one bus at the same time but if one bus doesn't go all the way to your destination then you just have to get a transfer and take another bus.

This is a perfect way of desribing how I feel right now: sensing the limitations of one man's mastery and the potential of the other to take me on a longer more fullfilling journey. Thank you for putting in in such terms.

_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to eyesopened)

Post #: 3

RE: Soms are like buses - 5/17/2008 4:05:08 AM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline

2. Have you ever wondered why, when you really like someone they back-off leaving you with the one you wouldn't necessarily have chosen?

There is nothing that says that you have to chose anyone simply because they are your default selection...doing that puts you both in a kind of lousy postion.
You seem to be forgetting something: just wait a little longer and another bus will come by.

(and a bit of unsolicited advice:
1) he is your EX-master; you do not owe him anything.
2) you don't have to get into a relationship before you are ready...it seems to me that if you are feeling desperate to be in a relationship, you might want to hold off or at least slow down; take care of you first?)

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 4

RE: Soms are like buses - 5/17/2008 4:10:35 AM

DominantJenny

Posts: 645
Joined: 4/6/2008
Status: offline

FR

In answer to whether one can serve two Dom/mes at a time, my experience has been that it depends on the people involved. If the Dom/mes have compatible styles and are both flexible about letting the other one take priority at agreed upon times in agreed upon ways, it's generally fine...although there may still be a problem if a submissive finds her/himself bonding better/more strongly/whatever with one over the other.
In short, the most successful secondary relationship I had ended because she couldn't handle having two dominants.

(in reply to angelikaJ)

Post #: 5

RE: Soms are like buses - 5/17/2008 4:21:03 AM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline

OK it's impossoble to ride more than one bus at the same time I know.

here is another thought:
Scenario A
You are at a bus stop and do to a scheduling snafu 2 buses going to the same destination arrive at the same time.
You can get on the older bus but you know the driver is short tempered...
OR you can get on the newer bus that probably rides better and the driver might be more pleasant.

Scenario B
each bus is going in different directions
What might your reasons be for chosing the one that is going in the opposite direction for where you want to go?

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 6

RE: Soms are like buses - 5/17/2008 4:28:17 AM

chickpea

Posts: 446
Joined: 8/3/2005
From: Los Angeles Area
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

OK; here's catching up. I am being courted here on collarme. So far one Dominant has out performed all the others. poetry mailed alomst every single day. Reams of email correspondence between us. It's beautiful................
AND ex master called me this morning. I couldn't take the call because I have a houseful of students staying over and was up and cooking breakfast. Anyway ex master rarely did call me unless it was for telephone sex.. He text to say he needed a friend and it was obvious i want to keep us in the master/slave mode....
There have been weeks without intensity and now TWO (actually more) men are being intense with me. (No bus comes for ages and I am left all alone at the bus stop waiting....et voila! two buses arrive at the same time). Each man is entirely different. One eloquent and operating almost entirely from his heart and focuses on The One. Ex master is poly, and an emotional sadist. This is NOT a question about what I should do.....
Questions:
1. Have iou ever been wothout a bdsm relationship and then been in the position of having to choose?

yes

quote:

2. Have you ever wondered why, when you really like someone they back-off leaving you with the one you wouldn't necessarily have chosen? (I am sub so I get to choose anyway......)

yes. It's human nature... the easier something is available, the less valued it is.

quote:

3. Is it possible to serve more than one master (this is not gender biased question so applies to subbie men serving Dommes as well).

Never had any experience in that.

quote:

4 What is it about being courted does that makes one more attractive to a second or third person.....

Kind of like seeing a woman scrounging through the oranges in the grocery section, makes you want to do it too. Human nature...monkey see, monkey do.

quote:

5. What has your choice been based on or

Choice is based on which bus will take you closest to your intended destination.

quote:

6 Are you poly so this males the difference.
OK it's impossoble to ride more than one bus at the same time I know.
Thank you all for helping me out here........

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 7

RE: Soms are like buses - 5/17/2008 7:44:40 AM

MissMorrigan

Posts: 2309
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline

I'm not sure what happened to the first thread on this subject Prin, but here is the answer I firstly posted, with a little extra added:

Hiya Prin, if I were in a position to choose between one sub or another I'd seriously ask myself why I was so unfulfilled and 'settling'. If there was a firm connection with one of them, the outcome is easy. I don't stick my fingers in multiple pies, if I am interested in someone they get my undivided attention even if there is more than one person, and if I feel there's a lack of potential, I don't keep them on a back burner until something 'better' comes along. In other words, you don't HAVE to choose anyone.

_____________________________

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(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 8

RE: Soms are like buses - 5/17/2008 8:03:17 AM

corsetgirl

Posts: 824
Joined: 5/22/2004
Status: offline

I have had two potential doms but they have never even met me on the bus stop

. So I think there was someone who previously posted on taking a train to see where that will take you to the better bus. Hey, I have always wanted to travel on an Amtrak because I would think they would be more comfortable than a bus and there is something more romantic about traveling non-stop to a destination; however, the journey is one that is enjoyable and fulfilling to me

(in reply to MissMorrigan)

Post #: 9

RE: Soms are like buses - 5/17/2008 8:12:10 AM

fluffyswitch

Posts: 1108
Joined: 9/29/2007
From: Buffalo
Status: offline

fast reply--

i would pick the bus that's going to take me as close to my destination as possible and if that means having to transfer between two similar busses every so often great, but get off the bus as soon as possible if you realize that you're heading in a totally opposite direction. and don't settle for a default driver because sometimes it's better to stand at the bus stop for an extended length of time than compromise and put yourself in danger.

or you could just fly.

_____________________________

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(in reply to corsetgirl)

Post #: 10

RE: Soms are like buses - 5/17/2008 8:21:17 AM

PornStarOwner

Posts: 14
Joined: 5/9/2008
Status: offline

Too much love will kill you.
~ Freddie Mercury

< Message edited by PornStarOwner -- 5/17/2008 8:56:18 AM >

(in reply to fluffyswitch)

Post #: 11

RE: Soms are like buses - 5/17/2008 8:23:36 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

I don't think you're anywhere near ready to start a functioning relatioship, certainly not with anyone who is an ex of yours.

You really are addicted to being in "a relationship."

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to PornStarOwner)

Post #: 12

RE: Soms are like buses - 5/17/2008 8:26:08 AM

ExSteelAgain

Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline

Prinsexx, if the guys courting you are on CM and you are talking about them here, it appears to me that you have thrown them under the bus.

_____________________________

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(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 13

RE: Soms are like buses - 5/17/2008 8:36:53 AM

corsetgirl

Posts: 824
Joined: 5/22/2004
Status: offline

Trust me, I have stood on the bus stop for a long period of time and I am still doing it. However, you are correct because I certainly don't want a default driver, either.

(in reply to fluffyswitch)

Post #: 14

RE: Soms are like buses - 5/17/2008 9:22:20 AM

hizgeorgiapeach

Posts: 1672
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx
Questions:
1. Have iou ever been wothout a bdsm relationship and then been in the position of having to choose?

Yep. Been there. Rather interesting, and completely entertaining on some levels.

quote:

2. Have you ever wondered why, when you really like someone they back-off leaving you with the one you wouldn't necessarily have chosen? (I am sub so I get to choose anyway......)

I don't wonder. It's part of human nature in many cases that when things grow to intense to quickly, one party backs off to take a bit of an emotional breather and regather their thoughts. Or they're simply afraid of commitment, and backing off is their way of distancing themselves from that prospect. Usually I take it to mean (on a personal level) that I have moved/pushed things to quickly past their comfort point and they need some space to cope and become comfortable again.

quote:

4 What is it about being courted does that makes one more attractive to a second or third person.....

Humans are by nature competitive. There's also that whole "forbidden fruit" factor at play.

Personally, when it came to making a choice, I chose Door Number Three - both. Since I'm a non-monogamous swinger as well as kinkster, and haven't been interested in any deeper relationship than playpartners and/or fuckbuddies in several years now, I see no reason I can't have both when offered a choice between apples and oranges. And if the Apple doesn't want to play with this Pomegranet because an Orange is part of the fruit salad - I'll just go find a pineapple instead, and leave the apple for some horse to munch on as a snack.

_____________________________

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(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 15

RE: Soms are like buses - 5/17/2008 9:27:49 AM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

You seem to be forgetting something: just wait a little longer and another bus will come by.

(and a bit of unsolicited advice:
1) he is your EX-master; you do not owe him anything.

I have cnsciously slowed down because I do ealise that I have always been in a rush to get somewhere.....and it's only when I get there i realise I had got on the wrong bus.

Ex-master occurred to me clearly during the lengthy telephone conversation that ensued after the text message. I knew he would phone. he kept attempting to go back into the dynamic by interrupting what I was aying and telling me I was angry. I'm not. Actually I'm not angry in anyway about what occured between us. So I simply kept reflecying back what he had said to me and reminding him that he was calling me as a friend to get help and advice.
After giving the help and advice it THEN occurred to me that perhaps I had given the help and advice as another form of service. So I finished the call nd said by the way I am just afriend giving you helpful advice.
It would be stupid to get back on the same bus and make a return journey.
Thanks angelika.

_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to angelikaJ)

Post #: 16

RE: Soms are like buses - 5/17/2008 9:31:57 AM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

OK it's impossoble to ride more than one bus at the same time I know.

here is another thought:
Scenario A
You are at a bus stop and do to a scheduling snafu 2 buses going to the same destination arrive at the same time.
You can get on the older bus but you know the driver is short tempered...
OR you can get on the newer bus that probably rides better and the driver might be more pleasant.

Scenario B
each bus is going in different directions
What might your reasons be for chosing the one that is going in the opposite direction for where you want to go?

In truth although I think I know where a bus is going to (because it says so on the front, like promises that are made at the beginning of a relationship, or a contract for example) no destination is knowabke until we recognise it and get off at the right place.
Im relationship terms I am really only just trusting that deja vu instinct.

_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to angelikaJ)

Post #: 17

RE: Soms are like buses - 5/17/2008 9:40:11 AM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissMorrigan

I'm not sure what happened to the first thread on this subject Prin, but here is the answer I firstly posted, with a little extra added:

Hiya Prin, if I were in a position to choose between one sub or another I'd seriously ask myself why I was so unfulfilled and 'settling'. If there was a firm connection with one of them, the outcome is easy. I don't stick my fingers in multiple pies, if I am interested in someone they get my undivided attention even if there is more than one person, and if I feel there's a lack of potential, I don't keep them on a back burner until something 'better' comes along. In other words, you don't HAVE to choose anyone.

I fucked up on the title of the thread and the thread which had the correct title got removed. But anyway I think everyone realises it should say Dome not Soms.....too early in the morning way too early for me to be typing.
As to your points above: you know a great deal more than many about who I am talking about because you have supported me at length in PM and I thank you yet again.
The analogy of the bus has been useful for me though.
I've never gone back. I've never kept anyone on the back boiler. I have never regretted my choices about not going back. I do a deep hurt, deep analytical time (very deep, very painful in a bad way) but once those feelings are worked through it's over. The journey is over. And even if I have to get off at an unknown place or the driver kicks me off unexpectedly I never run after the bus or try to cling on as it moves off.
As to not choosing anyone: no I'm having far far too many good feelings being chosen. Thanks Miss Morrigan
Prin x

_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to MissMorrigan)

Post #: 18

RE: Soms are like buses - 5/17/2008 9:44:12 AM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: fluffyswitch

fast reply--

or you could just fly.

So appropriate truly.....these new good feelings........

_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to fluffyswitch)

Post #: 19

RE: Soms are like buses - 5/17/2008 9:48:24 AM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I don't think you're anywhere near ready to start a functioning relatioship, certainly not with anyone who is an ex of yours.

You really are addicted to being in "a relationship."

You may think you know me LA but you do not and often your assumptions about knowing me obscure who I am really am.
No not addicted, never have been and never will be. My take on being in 'a relationship' just doesn't permit it.
I consider myself in 'a relationship' to everyone I actually am in a relationship with. Those relationsghips are all of a different nature but I have never ever not been in a relationship according to my way of looking at things.
Only I know about how ready I am to get on a bsdm bus again and this thread was not meant to be merely personal.

< Message edited by Prinsexx -- 5/17/2008 9:49:34 AM >

_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 20

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