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The duality of the D/s BDSM life - 5/14/2008 10:55:31 AM

MalcolmVice

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I had a conversation today with a girl that I know that went something like this, and I wondered whether I was the only one who notices the common subtexts that appear in everyday life once you have experiences in 'the lifestyle':

(we were talking about dieting)

Her: "...and sometimes I just feel like I don't want to have to think about what I'm cooking, I just want someone to do it for me..."

Me: "mmmhmm" (not really listening)

Her: "Like, I was just thinking to myself, I just want someone to tell me what to do, or someone who will just watch over my shoulder and spank me if I don't eat properly."

Me: "..Mmhmm?" (interest inadvertently rises due to BDSM subtext)

Her: "To be honest, I think I just need more discipline in my life."

Me: (sniggering) "You should definitely look into that, I think it would help you." (stifling more sniggering) "To be honest I've often thought everyone could use a little more discipline in their lives."

etc etc...

It just made me think about how experiencing D/s suddenly gives life a whole new context. I seem to remember a sub once telling me that she couldn't go into hardware stores without getting turned on because she was too busy thinking about everything I could do to her. >:)

I for one have never looked at step-ladders the same again. >:D

Has anyone else had something innocuous and everyday happen to them only to find that it has a whole new context?

Post #: 1

RE: The duality of the D/s BDSM life - 5/14/2008 10:58:50 AM

Domin8tingUrDrmz

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Vanilla female friends of mine refer to vibes as B.O.B - battery operated boyfriend. I refer to B.O.B as Bend Over, boy!

So yeah, when I hear my friends talking about BOB, I snicker. Other things do it as well, but that is the only example I can think of at the moment.

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RE: The duality of the D/s BDSM life - 5/14/2008 11:07:15 AM

OmegaG

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heh, I had a conversation with my son that went something like this

Him droning on about an anime show that he found on the internet and me not really listening and injecting the occasionaly syllables to indicate that I was listening

Him........... and he was a slave that had a collar around his neck
Me: slave with a collar, who? What were you watching

So now I have to find "Dear" on the internet and find out about these alien slaves.

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(in reply to MalcolmVice)

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RE: The duality of the D/s BDSM life - 5/14/2008 11:09:32 AM

IronBear

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It happens to me daily especially oin the phone to people I don't really know other than in business. My only worry is that when I'm tired that I'm likely to make a reply in the wrong context.

Iron Bear
Master of Bruin Cottage
(A Victorian Lifestyle poly home)

"I judge a Man by what I see him do and not by what others tell me he does." (Captain Sir Edward Pellew of the HMS Indefatigable to Midshipman Hornblower ~ C.S. Forrester)

(in reply to OmegaG)

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RE: The duality of the D/s BDSM life - 5/14/2008 11:27:39 AM

thetammyjo

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The biggest difference for me between looking at life post learning about BDSM and before is that I see authority and power dynamics everywhere around me, almost all the time. Often it is unconsensual and uninformed and that saddens me often. In turn I'm far less tolerant of anyone attempting to play such games with me in the rest of life.

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RE: The duality of the D/s BDSM life - 5/14/2008 11:38:45 AM

MalcolmVice

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That's a really good point, if I have changed in one aspect it is definitely how I assess the way people act towards me and how much crap I put up with anymore. I notice far more now when people try to assert dominance over me or other people and I react far differently now. (i.e. I have a 'zero tolerance' for power struggles etc.)

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RE: The duality of the D/s BDSM life - 5/14/2008 11:41:30 AM

MalcolmVice

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And that is definitely something that worries me; often when I'm out and had something to drink I might make the occasional comment that almost gives me away.

It's a thin line sometimes..

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RE: The duality of the D/s BDSM life - 5/14/2008 11:47:51 AM

Hiswifeon7707

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when shopping, i am always asked/pressured to apply for that store's credit card. now i simply say, "my husband does not allow me to have credit cards." sometimes the sales clerk will suggest, he doesnt have to know about it. i respond, a happy marriage is worth being obedient!

(in reply to MalcolmVice)

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RE: The duality of the D/s BDSM life - 5/14/2008 3:18:35 PM

LadyPact

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I literally just came back from the grocery store. My sub and I were discussing the idea of him getting rhubarb to make pie. I don't eat the stuff at all, so we were in the joking phase of whether or not this was something he would be doing this weekend. A passer by came along, noticed the collar on My boy's neck. He said something, jokingly, to the effect of My having My sub on a 'short leash' and that about four feet was good. He said it in such a good natured way that I couldn't help Myself but ask if he was interested in one for himself. Of course, the fact that I was only half kidding encouraged him to scurry away rather quickly.

I know it's wrong to scare the nilla's, but sometimes, it's just plain fun.

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RE: The duality of the D/s BDSM life - 5/14/2008 5:16:37 PM

IronBear

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From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I literally just came back from the grocery store. My sub and I were discussing the idea of him getting rhubarb to make pie. I don't eat the stuff at all, so we were in the joking phase of whether or not this was something he would be doing this weekend. A passer by came along, noticed the collar on My boy's neck. He said something, jokingly, to the effect of My having My sub on a 'short leash' and that about four feet was good. He said it in such a good natured way that I couldn't help Myself but ask if he was interested in one for himself. Of course, the fact that I was only half kidding encouraged him to scurry away rather quickly.

I know it's wrong to scare the nilla's, but sometimes, it's just plain fun.

I must confess that I do this regularly. Why? you may well ask, simply because I can and the poor dears do leave themselves so open to teasing. I usually deliver my teases with a straight face and flat monotone (typified by Paul Hogan) as though I am dead serious... Perhaps they are on this earth for the amusement of kink folk. But again perhaps one day I may push the envelope too fat and find myself facing a lynch mob too.. 'twill be interesting to see what happens.

Iron Bear
Master of Bruin Cottage
(A Victorian Lifestyle poly home)

"I judge a Man by what I see him do and not by what others tell me he does." (Captain Sir Edward Pellew of the HMS Indefatigable to Midshipman Hornblower ~ C.S. Forrester)

(in reply to LadyPact)

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RE: The duality of the D/s BDSM life - 5/14/2008 5:34:20 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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As long as people don't leap from this to conclusion that somehow every relationship is Ds at its core...it's a normal thing.

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RE: The duality of the D/s BDSM life - 5/14/2008 6:37:04 PM

IronBear

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From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
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I agree with you LA. personally, I al ever aware that few will follow my lifestyle and seeing that i have a zero tollerance to narroiw minded fools trying to enforce their concepts of right and wrong on me, it would be crass for me to expect anyone to follow my lead in life unless they wanted to. Just wouldn't be cricket y'know.

Iron Bear
Master of Bruin Cottage
(A Victorian Lifestyle poly home)

"I judge a Man by what I see him do and not by what others tell me he does." (Captain Sir Edward Pellew of the HMS Indefatigable to Midshipman Hornblower ~ C.S. Forrester)

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

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RE: The duality of the D/s BDSM life - 5/14/2008 6:49:49 PM

Lashra

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Joined: 2/9/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Hiswifeon7707

when shopping, i am always asked/pressured to apply for that store's credit card. now i simply say, "my husband does not allow me to have credit cards." sometimes the sales clerk will suggest, he doesnt have to know about it. i respond, a happy marriage is worth being obedient!

Yeah I get asked this too and I tell them simply "No, I pay cash for everything" and sometimes they still try to change my mind. To which I reply "No thanks not interested. I went thru credit card hell when I was married. Now that I'm divorced and handling the finances without the ex fucking them up things are peachy." I finally broke them at Fashion Bug for asking me that

~Lashra

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RE: The duality of the D/s BDSM life - 5/14/2008 10:19:12 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MalcolmVice
Has anyone else had something innocuous and everyday happen to them only to find that it has a whole new context?

Yes. There's a particular spiritual experience I used to have in church. It only happened in church or at times when I was in deep prayer. Then, it happened in an SM ritual. THEN, it happened during an orgasm. I'd say, yeah, my outlook changed. I've moved away from church, become more pagan/Native American/tribal/eastern in beliefs...and I still do what they told me only saved Christians could do. I find it highly amusing and suppose they'd try to convince me I was possessed rather than blessed at this point. All I know is that my connection to the Divine feels no different now through that process than it did ten years ago.

Master Fire

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RE: The duality of the D/s BDSM life - 5/14/2008 11:09:24 PM

lighthearted

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one of my favorite stories from my Daddy was about the day a co-worker asked him if he had any lube (as in WD-40) and Daddy's reply was nearly, "silicone or water based?"

it was a veddy, veddy close call....

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RE: The duality of the D/s BDSM life - 5/14/2008 11:26:34 PM

MasterFireMaam

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From: Charleston, WV
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quote:

ORIGINAL: lighthearted

one of my favorite stories from my Daddy was about the day a co-worker asked him if he had any lube (as in WD-40) and Daddy's reply was nearly, "silicone or water based?"

it was a veddy, veddy close call....

Wait until the day you ask him the same thing and he answers, "Yeah...spray, grease or powder?" *chuckle* A twat full of graphite powder. Yeah, that's what we ALL need.

Master Fire

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The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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RE: The duality of the D/s BDSM life - 5/14/2008 11:36:01 PM

Owner4SexSlave

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I make remarks all the time without thinking about it twice. I'm actually suprised more people don't pick up on things I say at times. Even things I see on TV that I might even laugh about, and my twisted warp sense of humor.

The thing is that people often say things that fit or fall into BDSM, but this does not mean they are involved in it, or that they are submissive, Dom/me or switch.

It does give you a good starting point to make mental notes, and actually feel the other person out a little more.

Now in situation like this, with me the conversation might have followed as such.

Her: "To be honest, I think I just need more discipline in my life."

Me (snickering): What somebody to spank your bare bottom ass red and tell you what to do?

There is always a certain danger to droping small suggestive hints or eluding to things in a very subtle way. I tend to be a little more forward with the suggestive hint dropping, because it tends to provoke a much better response that is a little more readable at times. You know you've stumble across something when you see somebodys face light up like a Christmas tree or it turns a little pink/red.

(in reply to MalcolmVice)

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RE: The duality of the D/s BDSM life - 5/14/2008 11:58:48 PM

IronBear

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From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
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This is the thing isn’t it? Few people actually listen to what you’re saying. I remember at a formal reception at my parent’s home where Mother and father were greating guests and as they came in at random my father leaned forward and said very quietly to who ever he was greeting, “I hear your Aunt just passed away, my condolences.” In 99% of the cases the reply was a “Thank you it is wonderful to be invited tonight.” Only a couple came along after when we were all mingling and asked him what he meant. No one was offended but it was indeed an object lesson on human behavior I was being given. I’ve done similar many times and funnily enough if I changed the comment to a comment that that person still owed me a couple of hundred dollars, it is amazing how they heard it every time… Selective hearing; as long as the comments are within the broad range of what they expect to hear of a normal social comment they don’t pick it up. Make the comment something outside the norm and they have sharp ears.

Iron Bear
Master of Bruin Cottage
(A Victorian Lifestyle poly home)

"I judge a Man by what I see him do and not by what others tell me he does." (Captain Sir Edward Pellew of the HMS Indefatigable to Midshipman Hornblower ~ C.S. Forrester)

< Message edited by IronBear -- 5/14/2008 11:59:19 PM >

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RE: The duality of the D/s BDSM life - 5/15/2008 12:12:48 AM

ownedgirlie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lighthearted

one of my favorite stories from my Daddy was about the day a co-worker asked him if he had any lube (as in WD-40) and Daddy's reply was nearly, "silicone or water based?"

it was a veddy, veddy close call....

Ha!

Once at my former job, the VP of Finance was telling me how she gave everyone in her department wands. I didn't realize she meant fairy wands. Without a second thought, I said "Hitachis???"

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Good is the enemy of great.

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RE: The duality of the D/s BDSM life - 5/15/2008 1:51:35 AM

eyesopened

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InkedMaster came to visit and to meet my offspring. While visiting my daughter and her family at her home, her cat appeared. my daughter stroked the cat and then whacked it soundly on the flanks several times. Then she looked at my Master and said, "Oh, our cat is kinky! She just loves to be spanked!" (which is true, the cat just loves it)

Later, Master told me He had to use all His willpower not to reply "Yeah, so does Your mom."

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