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Valyraen -> RE: My feminist self is conflicted... (5/8/2008 10:46:10 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Femmeorfoe
As a feminist, I'm conflicted when it comes to BDSM. When I first got into BDSM, I just thought it was the sex...but now I see so many female "slaves" who live with their "masters" and I don't know what to think... does it cross a line? How can any man who isn't a total chauvanistic pig physically abuse a woman? How can a woman who has any self respect let a man have so much control? And why are there so many more female subs than female doms? You have to think that gender roles are the reason why.
As a gender equalist, I had my qualms about the lifestyle when I was first introduced to it, and the first person that learned about those qualms was Aqua, pretty much as soon as I knew about them. It took me a very long time and a great deal of soul-searching to be comfortable with who and what I am - a sadist and a dominant, the owner of a kitten, and someone who believes passionately in the right of a woman to determine her own path in life.
Does it cross a line? I think the better question to ask would be, does it cross one of your lines. As with almost everything in this lifestyle, it's subjective. If you're not comfortable with it, that's your prerogative... but the second that you try to force your viewpoint onto someone else, you turn yourself into the oppressor. Let's not forget that the feminist who insists that every woman stand up and burn her bra is every bit as much of an intolerant bigot as the chauvanist who thinks that every woman should be in the kitchen. The Women's Liberation movement fought for a woman's right to choose what to do with her life, and there are some women who exercise that right by being subservient, just like there are some women who exercise that right by wearing a power suit and running a company. Is either one of them a whit less in control of her own life? If Kitten really didn't want me to do something to her, she's quite easily capable of breaking the arm that I raise to discipline her. And yet, she glories in our relationship and in the way that we interact with one another, because it's what makes her happy.
There are as many paths in this lifestyle as there are people to walk them, and some of those paths lead to places that some of us aren't comfortable going. However, that doesn't mean that any of us have the right to tell other people which paths they should and should not take.
Femmeorfoe, here's a question that I pose to you. If you were to take every gender-specific word in your OP and replace it with its counterpart, would you be nearly as conflicted?
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