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new to this - 2/25/2004 3:27:20 PM   
fondphilly


Posts: 1
Joined: 2/25/2004
Status: offline 		I am new to this form of relationship. Until recently I was preparing myself to live the rest of my life without a pernmant mate. No one was satisfying me. NO male was taking control. I know in the working work I am strong and independant female. I was disscussing this with a male friend (who is dominant) and found all this very interesting.
So I began to read about be submissive and have found now I have lots more questions.

My first question is what is the role of a trainer? Do you seek a trainner or Dom to help wwith the understanding of this?

< Message edited by fondphilly -- 2/25/2004 4:04:40 PM >
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: new to this - 2/25/2004 3:58:51 PM   
Perempt


Posts: 24
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: US
Status: offline 		I do not understand your last question precisely, but I assume you are asking how yu get started in bdsm, choosing a trainer or Dom, nd starting your new life?

I think the chances of finding your life partner as a novice on your first try are quite small. Miracles happen, of course, but at the start you do ot even know what you are looking for.

I recommend starting with a Mentor or Trainer, and take your training with Him or Her. That person should be eperienced, should be atient with you, should question you at length at how you feel at every step, so that you come to understand yourself and your needs, and should take time to answer your questions.

There are all kind of Dom/mes, as you will come to understand,, but it is not crucial that the Trainer be any particular type, since S/He is not molding you to Hs design, but merely giving you a round range of experience to learn your own needs.

Last: the Trainer shold be a friend: someone you can laugh with, can open up to, someone who cares about you, and will let you fly on your own when you are ready.

Shop for One carefully. 's'

Good luck!

_____________________________

[email protected]

(in reply to fondphilly)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: new to this - 2/26/2004 7:36:47 PM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fondphilly



My first question is what is the role of a trainer? Do you seek a trainner or Dom to help wwith the understanding of this?



I mentor both Submissives and Dominants alike. Basically I am their friend. I watch out for them and their safety. Hence my name here..Sub4hire. Basically that means if you are an abuser I will beat your ass if you hurt someone I care for.
I am only submissive to my Dominant. Not to the world. Respect needs to be earned. It is'nt given freely.
So all in all...to me a mentor is merely like a big brother..big sister.
Someone who loves you unconditionally. No matter how stupid you are at times. Or how stupid you appear.

Just my opinion.

Gloria

(in reply to fondphilly)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: new to this - 12/23/2009 1:48:33 PM   
cillydom


Posts: 332
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		im new too

(in reply to fondphilly)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: new to this - 12/23/2009 2:20:32 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fondphilly

My first question is what is the role of a trainer? Do you seek a trainner or Dom to help wwith the understanding of this?


Ok, forgive if this is hard to understand cause I have a headache but...

The broadest answer is that a trainer is to train. However... if you are learning and have no experience, I would suggest turning to other submissives, slaves and pets first and only then start looking for a dominant/master/owner/whatever. While is not always the case, many times people who are offering to "mentor" or such have motives that are not exactly pure.

My suggestion would be to hold off on any relationships for a few months and just around on the forums and absorb as much information as you can. Find posters you respect and ask them questions privately if you are nervous about posting on the boards.

Best of luck,
Aqua

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to fondphilly)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: new to this - 12/23/2009 2:48:38 PM   
Acer49


Posts: 1434
Joined: 8/7/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fondphilly

I am new to this form of relationship. Until recently I was preparing myself to live the rest of my life without a pernmant mate. No one was satisfying me. NO male was taking control. I know in the working work I am strong and independant female. I was disscussing this with a male friend (who is dominant) and found all this very interesting.
So I began to read about be submissive and have found now I have lots more questions.

My first question is what is the role of a trainer? Do you seek a trainner or Dom to help wwith the understanding of this?

Well I guess since this post is 5 years old, I hope the OP got their answers

_____________________________

Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.
Harvey Fierstein

(in reply to fondphilly)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: new to this - 1/5/2010 9:56:39 PM   
ForeverOwned


Posts: 269
Joined: 2/5/2008
Status: offline 		My advice to you is to go and visit your local munch. Just type in the city and or state that you live in and the word munch. i would start with real people in real life and not on a computer. You would not believe the lies and how misleading people can be.

At least in person it is a relaxed atmosphere and everyone should be pretty friendly and welcome you. At the very least you will see that the person you are talking to is 5'8 and three hundred pounds instead of him lying to behind a compter saying he's six foot two with a six pack.

The next best advice i can give you about the compter is that fifty percent of the people are into it for the fantasy only. Several of my friends have gotten hurt that way. One was tied up and raped, because she met the man not only too soon, but in a hotel room. She thought she was in love.

So, be careful and never ignore those red flags. :)

(in reply to sub4hire)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: new to this - 1/5/2010 10:11:06 PM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline 		FR-

A thread from 2004? The OP no longer has an active profile, and the post that started this was from osf. Is there really nothing interesting enough that is new that we need to revive 5 year old threads from people who are probably no longer even around?

(in reply to ForeverOwned)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: new to this - 1/11/2010 6:57:03 PM   
ForeverOwned


Posts: 269
Joined: 2/5/2008
Status: offline 		Actually, the last post on here was  Dec 23 09. So someone else thought it was worth answering also.

(in reply to LafayetteLady)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: new to this - 1/11/2010 7:40:43 PM   
WyldHrt


Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline 		Cillydom is osf's alter ego, FO. 

_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

(in reply to ForeverOwned)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: new to this - 1/12/2010 6:45:25 AM   
pompeii


Posts: 934
Joined: 1/4/2007
From: Silicon Valley, San Jose, California
Status: offline 		To each his/her own but for me, the role of the trainer is to mold the trainee slave to serve him.


(in reply to WyldHrt)
Profile   Post #: 11
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