RE: language and respect (Full Version)

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Smythe -> RE: language and respect (5/5/2008 4:50:07 AM)


Thanks for all the replies. To me, there is a difference between public and private usage, and this is what I was responding to. Lots of the replies were in line with this. What people say to each other, in privacy or when they know each other is a whole different bouquet of flowers. It's the public, indiscriminate use of words to apply to a group (i.e. women in this case) that I have a problem with.

Anyway, I still have this outstanding question which is why you don't see women calling men derogatory names nearly as much. Except for the Old Bastard guy who brought it on himself [&:]

Smythe



Real_Trouble -> RE: language and respect (5/5/2008 5:14:38 AM)

To me, you have to consider the context of the communication as well.

For some, if they throw around that kind of language, I find it quite surprising.  I know others for whom it is probably the tenth or twentieth time they've used it in that sentence, much less day, so I'm not going to bat an eyelash when they do.

Many different individuals have different verbal styles, and without knowing what the typical interaction with the person is like and at least some idea of their motivation behind it, I have no idea.

For my part, I've been able to use the word fuck as virtually every possible part of speech within a one-minute span at one point in my life, so I'm not about to come down on someone for a little harsh language.



DiurnalVampire -> RE: language and respect (5/5/2008 5:21:46 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Smythe

Anyway, I still have this outstanding question which is why you don't see women calling men derogatory names nearly as much. Except for the Old Bastard guy who brought it on himself [&:]


I have an idea that this is simply becsue there are far fewer words used in regular conversation that refer to men in a derogatory way.
Bitch, slut, whore and others that refer to women are in our everyday language and used pretty liberally.
Aside from bastard... how many derogatory words do you hear regularly for men? Not much harsher than "boy" honestly.
There are a ton of insults that are ungendered, and quitea few that point to races derogatorily but few pointing to men specifically.
Just my theory

And as to the original topic, I beieve it is the intent rather than the language that bothers me. If I have asked someone not to refer to my boys a certain way and the continue to do so, it bothers me. That doesnt have to be insulting , but it can be condescending.  If someone speaks on here the way they do in real life, Id be shocked to hear them address new people sometimes. But it would also not offend me to have them talk about me or mine, since thats just how they are. I dont find insult when it isnt personal. However, if you are speaking about me or mine, knowing I dislike it and are doing so where you know I will see/hear... thats personal and meant to be insulting.

DV



LaTigresse -> RE: language and respect (5/5/2008 5:23:19 AM)

Most of the time, I don't care what words anyone else uses. Words are just that......words. If typed on a screen by a stranger they mean even less. I refuse to allow pixels on a screen to have any affect on  my emotional or mental state.

If they are spoken by someone in my personal life.....then I am going to wonder what I have done to create an environment that would allow them to assume I would tollerate being spoken to like that. If someone uses those words towards someone I love with spiteful intent, they will probably come to find out some of the really spiffy words I know also!




MissLily -> RE: language and respect (5/5/2008 5:30:00 AM)

In the heat of the moment, I'll call My boys, bitches, whores, naughty things like that, but in day to day life, I wouldn't. Just find it rude.

If some like it though and if the woman tolerates it, then amen!

Miss Lily



OmegaG -> RE: language and respect (5/5/2008 5:48:30 AM)

FR

I also think that we have the power to give the words their derogetory meaning.  I find that someone who refers to "cunt" as "the C word" is giving it far more power then the person who just uses it.  Words are simply letters strung together in a particular order and they can evoke no more emotion then we allow them to.



OnlyMels -> RE: language and respect (5/5/2008 8:02:07 AM)

I'd like people that don't know me to speak to me with respect but Daddy can say what he wants. Except for the word c*nt even though he uses it to mess with me I really hate that word.



OldBastardly1 -> RE: language and respect (5/5/2008 8:08:55 AM)

Please pardon me, but are we all freaking 12 years old? We can talk about a word but we cant say or even type the word? Doesn't saying  the "c word", " b word" " p word" "n word', etc, that same as saying the actual word, especially if it is being used in a discussion and not actual name calling?
I really don't think that as a whole we are truly that sensitive and brittle.

[sm=2cents.gif]



batshalom -> RE: language and respect (5/5/2008 8:31:20 AM)

Let's not forget dickhole.

hehehehehehheehehhhhhhhh



parttimehotty -> RE: language and respect (5/5/2008 8:40:48 AM)

The Dom who introduced me to this fantastic world of BDSM called me every derogatory name in the book PLUS some I've never even heard of! But this was talked about beforehand and i told him that i had no problem w/verbal humiliation. Talk about letting down the gates! He took that and ran w/it!
Now w/my new Master, i've used the same terms about myself used by the 1st Dom and Master does NOT like those terms. He'll use one on occasion because He knows I like it, but He always says it leaves a bad taste in His mouth...........which I then thoroughly clean w/my tongue, then W/we proceed to.........<shaking head> Sorry, I left for a moment but I'm back on track now. I feel that as long as it's discussed beforehand and the sub/slave doesn't mind then by all means, proceed...but w/caution. Words can hurt alot more than beatings.  Bruises heal, memories are forever.



Dnomyar -> RE: language and respect (5/5/2008 9:07:44 AM)

Old B. I agree with you. I use the words only when scening when a woman ask me to. The only ather time I may use them is when watching a Tiger game when a dumbass batter lets a third strike go by him down the middle of the plate without swinging at it.



OmegaG -> RE: language and respect (5/5/2008 9:25:07 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

The only ather time I may use them is when watching a Tiger game when a dumbass batter lets a third strike go by him down the middle of the plate without swinging at it.


MAY use them?



Dnomyar -> RE: language and respect (5/5/2008 9:42:20 AM)

Well put it this way Omega you do not want to be with me when Im watching a football or baseball game. If you are I will supply you with earplugs.



OmegaG -> RE: language and respect (5/5/2008 9:47:34 AM)

heh

my kids threaten to leave the house when I'm watching football.  I don't think I'd find your behaviour surprising in the least.

And yes, I do believe that the Wolverines can hear me through the TV-- or across town.



Prinsexx -> RE: language and respect (5/5/2008 10:04:26 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Smythe



Anyway, I still have this outstanding question which is why you don't see women calling men derogatory names nearly as much.

Smythe


With all due respect I do not think that you have an outstanding question: just a gender bias.




Daddysredhead -> RE: language and respect (5/5/2008 10:07:22 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: OmegaG

FR

I also think that we have the power to give the words their derogetory meaning.  I find that someone who refers to "cunt" as "the C word" is giving it far more power then the person who just uses it.  Words are simply letters strung together in a particular order and they can evoke no more emotion then we allow them to.

Thank you....  I completely agree.



Arrrchibald -> RE: language and respect (5/5/2008 10:08:14 AM)

You said a bad wooorrrrrd!  I'm telliiiinnng!!





Prinsexx -> RE: language and respect (5/5/2008 10:08:21 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: OldBastardly1

Please pardon me, but are we all freaking 12 years old? We can talk about a word but we cant say or even type the word? Doesn't saying  the "c word", " b word" " p word" "n word', etc, that same as saying the actual word, especially if it is being used in a discussion and not actual name calling?
I really don't think that as a whole we are truly that sensitive and brittle.

[sm=2cents.gif]

Exactly, and a 7*()ing c&*tish way of putting it if you don't mind my saying so....
c*&ting gerunds!



Deliena -> RE: language and respect (5/5/2008 11:00:01 AM)

Well I have never really liked the word cunt - but I love being called a slut and a whore, particularly when my Master calls me His slut or His whore.  It's another form of possession and has a tendency to drive me right over the edge.  He knows how to use my sexuality for both his and my pleasure and verbal humiliation or name calling is simply a part of what we do.  If it works for you do it, if it doesn't don't.  Not rocket science.

For the "words have power" crowd, well that's true, provided we allow them to.  The power words have is in the mind of the receiver as well as the sender and some words have been positively reclaimed or reassigned when it has been deemed appropriate by groups to do so.  (There's a whole branch of sociology devoted to this and psychological studies on discourse analysis usually agree that terms are defined by context and usage rather than dictionaries).

My tuppence worth (for what it's worth)



Dnomyar -> RE: language and respect (5/5/2008 11:16:11 AM)

Deliena. Sorry to say but a tuppence is worthless here. Just like our dollar is there. Whatever you were saying in the second paragraph I agree with.  



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