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Termyn8or -> RE: Life...the Spring...weird timing...memories. (5/2/2008 7:29:35 AM)
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Popeye is fucking right, absolutely, but there is one thing to remember, you survived it last time.
A buddy of mine just got found by his ex of 12 years ago, via the use of a PI. Now maybe they have the maturity to make it work. Maybe not. But the connection is there and he has no choice but to try. You only live once.
But to stop fighting you need to know how to argue. Actually CM is good for practice. Excercise tact and control, and always be in control, and control her. I do not care if you are a human rug when it comes to submissiveness, you are still a Man and it is still up to you to control things.
Make an agreement with her that neither will raise their voice in anger. Arguments will happen, and they must be managed. Sit down at the kitchen table, and if she gets up she is acting out and tell het so. SIT DOWN. You are noy going to convince me of one gaddam thing by standing up, and if you break something you bought it. If I am with the same little girl I was before, well I left before and I will leave now if I have to.
The only way to handle something like this, as ammoral as it may sound, is to exploit her desire while keeping yours mostly hidden. Of course you show your desire, but in the bedroom (or barn or gazebo, whatever your special place), but when it comes to real life, a Woman respects nothing more than a Man who can handle them and calm them down.
There are Women on here with more masculine qualities than some Men I know, but I don't think your sweetie is one of them. Most likely she is going to test you. Women test Men for a couple of things. Temperment, propensity to violence, ability to forgive.
You come out of this test with one of three basic ratings. Dishrag, Man or hero. For some, a Man is not good enough. And even alot of Dommes don't want a dishrag. YOU must be the eye of the storm, YOU have that effect on her. She should thank you for being the anchor for her "stormy season". This is the sign of a Woman, not a girl.
You cannot lose control. In some relationships you don't need to control, but sadly in most, you do. But that doesn't mean she doesn't control you as well. She has a "honey do" list, and wants and desires and you have to meet most of them. But as she know she can get you to do stuff, bend a bit and let her have her way, Women go absolutely nuts over a Man who can say no.
BDSM aside it is still a reationship, and you have seen Women use sex as a weapon. You must do the same thing. You get in an argument and she decides she is not horny that night, you play the same game. You project the image "I can take it or leave it" so if it is a job to keep her, she also has a job keeping you.
Do not ever raise your voice. This frustrates their adversarial desires so badly that it is make it or break it right then. Either they calm down or they fly totally off the wall, the handle, the rocking chair and every other metaphor I can think of. They act out to get you worked up. Do not let it happen.
People who throw things are children, and remember this, if she has children they were raised by children. You've got all that to deal with. That's one of the reasons popeye is right. Think long and hard before you get into this.
T
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